The Eldest Daughter Effect
How First Born Women - like Oprah Winfrey, Sheryl Sandberg, JK Rowling and Beyoncé - Harness their Strengths
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Narrated by:
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Lisette Schuitemaker
About this listen
"What do Angela Merkel, Hillary Rodham Clinton, Christine Lagarde, Oprah Winfrey, Sheryl Sandberg, JK Rowling and Beyoncé have in common?" was the headline in the English newspaper The Observer in 2014. "Other than riding high in Forbes list of the world’s most powerful women," journalist Tracy McVeigh wrote in answer to her own question, "they are also all firstborn children in their families. Firstborn children really do excel."
So what does it mean to be an eldest daughter?
Firstborns Lisette Schuitemaker and Wies Enthoven set out to discover the big five qualities that characterize all eldest daughters to some degree. Eldest daughters are responsible, dutiful, thoughtful, expeditious, and caring. Firstborns are more intelligent than their siblings, more proficient verbally and more motivated to perform. Yet at the same time they seriously doubt that they are good enough. Being an eldest daughter can have certain advantages, but the overbearing sense of responsibility often gets in the way. Parents may worry about their "difficult" eldest girl who wants to be perfect in everything she does whilst her siblings may not always understand her. The Eldest Daughter Effect shows how firstborn girls become who they are and offers insights that can give them more freedom to move. And parents will gain a better understanding of their firstborn children and can support them more fully on their way.
©2016 Lisette Schuitemaker. All Rights Reserved. (P)2019 Inner Traditions Audio. All Rights Reserved.Listeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
"I am an author, writing coach and publisher, and an eldest daughter; my business partner is the youngest brother of three sisters. After reading The Eldest Daughter Effect I understood exactly how our relationship worked, its positives and negatives. I was amazed to find what a typical eldest daughter I am, and that so much of my attitudes and behaviour are coloured by this factor. The book has led me to have endless, fascinating conversations with others I can now easily identify as eldest daughters - and I will be recommending it to all of them. If you are an eldest daughter, you MUST read this book!" (Lucy McCarraher, author and managing editor, Rethink Press)
"Like looking at a reflection in the mirror--shrewdly discerning and comically accurate. This book uncovers the mysteries of why we eldest daughters are who we are. Valuable for those seeking insight into the eldest daughters in their lives. Even better for eldest daughters trying to understand their own profound sense of responsibility, expeditiousness, and perfectionism." (Holly Ruhl, PhD Early Childhood Psychologist)
"The Eldest Daughter Effect is a page turner. I couldn' t put it down and raced through it in one go!! Now I want to share the book with all my good friends - who of course are eldest daughters themselves - my walking buddy, my step daughter and many professional colleagues. The five qualities of Eldest Daughters (responsible, dedicated, expeditious, thoughtful, caring) even emerged as key descriptors of me in the systemic constellation inquiries I have done with my community of practice - so I affirm these research discoveries. I am indebted to Lisette and Wies for their insights, so beautifully captured in lively vignettes and flowing prose that offer a truly rewarding read. Brava!!!!" (Marilyn Hamilton, eldest daughter; author of Integral City)
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From the moment a mother holds her newborn son, his eyes tell her that she is his world. But often, as he grows up, the boy who needs her simultaneously pushes her away. Calling upon thirty years of experience as a pediatrician, Meg Meeker, MD, a highly sought-after national speaker, assistant professor of clinical medicine, and mother of four, shares the secrets that every mother needs to know in order to strengthen-or rebuild-her relationship with her son.
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Update of wording in your book is required
- By danamc on 08-27-18
By: Meg Meeker
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What Your Childhood Memories Say About You
- By: Kevin Leman
- Narrated by: Chris Fabry
- Length: 6 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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What are your earliest childhood memories? Were you afraid of the dark? Can you remember a particularly embarrassing moment? Those memories - along with the words and emotions you use to describe them - hold the key to understanding the person you are today! Drawing on examples from his own life, the lives of celebrities, as well as case studies from his private practice, renowned psychologist Dr. Kevin Leman helps you apply these same techniques to uncover why you are the way you are.
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Fun and thought provoking...
- By Gare on 07-06-09
By: Kevin Leman
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Have a New You by Friday
- How to Accept Yourself, Boost Your Confidence & Change Your Life in 5 Days
- By: Kevin Leman
- Narrated by: Wayne Shepherd
- Length: 6 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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How many times have you tried to change your own habits, only to find that changing yourself is even harder than trying to change someone else? With his signature wit and commonsense psychology, Dr. Kevin Leman walks you through your own personal five-day action plan. You will come to accept the truth about yourself, boost your confidence by identifying the lies you’re telling yourself (and putting them to rest for good), and change your life by concentrating on becoming who you really want to be.
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Wrong title?
- By Marianne on 03-25-11
By: Kevin Leman
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Bringing Up Girls
- Practical Advice and Encouragement for Those Shaping the Next Generation of Women
- By: James C. Dobson
- Narrated by: James C. Dobson
- Length: 11 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Based on extensive research, and handled with Dr. Dobson's trademark down-to-earth approach, Bringing Up Girls will equip parents like you to face the challenges of raising your daughters to become healthy, happy, and successful women who overcome challenges specific to girls and women today and who ultimately excel in life.
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Solid concepts, poor presentation
- By honuhunter on 12-06-18
By: James C. Dobson
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Rethinking Narcissism
- The Bad - and Surprising Good - About Feeling Special
- By: Dr. Craig Malkin
- Narrated by: Kiff VandenHeuvel
- Length: 6 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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In Rethinking Narcissism listeners will learn that there's far more to narcissism than its reductive invective would imply. The truth is that narcissists (all of us) fall on a spectrum somewhere between utter selflessness on the one side and arrogance and grandiosity on the other. A healthy middle exhibits a strong sense of self.
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Great info, but proceed with caution
- By Caterina M. Platt on 11-16-17
By: Dr. Craig Malkin
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Walking on Eggshells
- Navigating the Delicate Relationship Between Adult Children and Parents
- By: Jane Isay
- Narrated by: Ann Marie Lee
- Length: 7 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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We raise our children to be independent and lead fulfilling lives, but when they finally do, staying close becomes more complicated than ever. And for every bewildered mother who wonders why her children don't call, there is a frustrated son or daughter who just wants to be treated like a grownup. Now, renowned editor Jane Isay delivers the perfect gift to both parents and their adult children-real-life wisdom and advice on how to stay together without falling apart.
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Disappointed
- By tammy alvarez on 01-13-19
By: Jane Isay
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Building Confidence in Your Child
- By: James Dobson
- Narrated by: Jon Gauger
- Length: 6 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Proven ways to improve your child's self-esteem. A solid sense of self-worth helps your child make good choices, develop healthy relationships, and work to achieve his or her dreams. But what's the best way to instill self-confidence while still teaching your child to value and care about others? Based on a biblical understanding of human worth, Building Confidence in Your Child teaches you how to parent positively and help your child grow into a secure adult who is poised for success in life.
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Outdated Terms/Assumptions- I'm disappointed
- By Bobye M Ruddell on 02-17-20
By: James Dobson
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The 10 Habits of Happy Mothers
- Reclaiming Our Passion, Purpose, and Sanity
- By: Meg Meeker M.D.
- Narrated by: Karen White
- Length: 10 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Friendship. Simplicity. Love. Value. Faith. Solitude. Money. Fear. Hope. Purpose. Dr. Meg Meeker has seen mothers struggle with these 10 issues for the past 25 years, and she has also learned how to help them live less stressful, happier, more fulfilling lives. The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers will show women how to reduce loneliness, anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem by inspiring women to embrace more positive emotions and habits.
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Recommend the book but had hard time listening to
- By Kaletra Dispennett on 12-25-16
By: Meg Meeker M.D.
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Slay Like a Mother
- How to Destroy What's Holding You Back So You Can Live the Life You Want
- By: Katherine Wintsch
- Narrated by: Katherine Wintsch
- Length: 8 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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In this emotionally charged how-to guide, you'll laugh, you'll cry, and you'll discover eye-opening lessons about: The mask you're wearing. The one you hide behind when you say everything is "just fine" when it's not. Your unrealistic expectations. The goal-setting tactics you're deploying to get ahead could be what's holding you back. The difference between struggling and suffering. Being a mother is a struggle - it always has been - but your suffering is optional.
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Great for dads too!
- By Earl Cox on 06-20-19
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To Have and to Hold
- Motherhood, Marriage, and the Modern Dilemma
- By: Molly Millwood
- Narrated by: Molly Millwood
- Length: 9 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall
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A clinical psychologist’s exploration of the modern dilemmas women face in the wake of new motherhood. When Molly Millwood became a mother, she was fully prepared for what she would gain: an adorable baby boy; hard-won mothering skills; and a messy, chaotic, beautiful life. But what she did not expect was what she would lose: aspects of her identity, a baseline level of happiness, a general sense of well-being.
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Pretty good
- By C Sandell on 03-07-21
By: Molly Millwood
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The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption
- Helping Your Child Grow up Whole
- By: Lori Holden, Crystal Hass
- Narrated by: Meredith Mitchell
- Length: 6 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Open adoption isn't just something parents do when they exchange photos, send emails, share a visit. It's a lifestyle that may feel intrusive at times, be difficult or inconvenient at other times. Tensions can arise even in the best of circumstances. But knowing how to handle these situations and how to continue to make arrangements work for the child involved is paramount. This book offers listeners the tools and the insight to do just that.
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Who is talking?
- By Robert on 06-26-18
By: Lori Holden, and others
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Transitions of the Heart
- Stories of Love, Struggle and Acceptance by Mothers of Transgender and Gender Variant Children
- By: Rachel Pepper - editor
- Narrated by: Elisabeth Rodgers
- Length: 5 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Transitions of the Heart is the first collection to ever invite mothers of transgender and gender variant children of all ages to tell their own stories about their child’s gender transition. Often transitioning socially and emotionally alongside their child but rarely given a voice in the experience, mothers hold the key to familial and societal understanding of gender difference.
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Heartfelt, Well-Written, and Moving
- By Susie on 01-04-13
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One and Only
- The Freedom of Having an Only Child, and the Joy of Being One
- By: Lauren Sandler
- Narrated by: Lauren Sandler
- Length: 6 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Journalist Lauren Sandler is an only child and the mother of one. After investigating what only children are really like and whether stopping at one child is an answer to reconciling motherhood and modernity, she learned a lot about herself - and a lot about our culture's assumptions. In this heartfelt work, Sandler legitimizes a discussion about the larger societal costs of having more than one.
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Data Driven
- By Meghan B on 01-11-22
By: Lauren Sandler
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Becoming Bulletproof
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Becoming Bulletproof means transforming yourself into a stronger, more confident, and more powerful person. Evy Poumpouras - former Secret Service agent to three presidents and one of only five women to receive the Medal of Valor - demonstrates how we can overcome our everyday fears, have difficult conversations, know who to trust and who might not have our best interests at heart, influence situations, and prepare for the unexpected. When you have become bulletproof, you are your best, most courageous, and most powerful version of you.
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Dr. Kevin Leman's The Birth Order Book will help you understand yourself, get along better with others, overcome ingrained tendencies you never thought you could get rid of, and be more successful in the workplace. This revised and updated audio edition of Dr. Leman's classic book includes more than 30 years of experience and research, current examples, and fascinating stories to show how birth order impacts your life.
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Bleh, like reading a horoscope
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We can only anchor, nurture, nourish and instill confidence in our children when we extend the same support to ourselves. After all, how can we effectively tend to our children's needs when our energy reserves are depleted? There are a thousand and one ways to parent, and only one way that's authentic for you. Drawing on her work as a psychotherapist, alongside her own experiences as a mother, Anna shows that caring with our children begins with caring for ourselves, and it's time to replace exhaustion with empowerment.
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There was nothing in this that was useful.
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Not what I had Anticipated, Much Much Better
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The Birth Order Book
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Dr. Kevin Leman's The Birth Order Book will help you understand yourself, get along better with others, overcome ingrained tendencies you never thought you could get rid of, and be more successful in the workplace. This revised and updated audio edition of Dr. Leman's classic book includes more than 30 years of experience and research, current examples, and fascinating stories to show how birth order impacts your life.
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You love your mother, but she drives you crazy. She controls, criticizes, and butts into your life constantly. Then when you try and set boundaries, the pushback and resulting guilt are so bad you tell yourself...it's just not worth it. Is your mother narcissistic, borderline, or just plain difficult? Are you empathetic, sensitive, and kind? If so, chances are you have fallen into one or all of the hidden psychological traps that constitute the Good Daughter Syndrome.
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By age thirty, Stephanie Foo was successful on paper: She had her dream job as an award-winning radio producer at This American Life and a loving boyfriend. But behind her office door, she was having panic attacks and sobbing at her desk every morning. After years of questioning what was wrong with herself, she was diagnosed with complex PTSD—a condition that occurs when trauma happens continuously, over the course of years.
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Complex PTSD from a patient's point of view!
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It Didn't Start with You
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It Didn't Start With You
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In this rare collection of live and studio works, Dr. Chopra will take you on a journey of invaluable healing and self-discovery. Integrating the power of the mind, body and spirit, Dr. Chopra has an exceptional gift of articulating the extraordinary mysteries of healing, in a manner that is both logical and understandable. Each volume of this comprehensive library offers you the best of what Dr. Chopra has to offer.
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Excellent advice overall
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Mother Hunger
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An insatiable need for sex and love. Periods of overeating or starving. A pattern of unstable and painful relationships. Does this sound painfully familiar? Trauma counselor Kelly McDaniel has seen these traits over and over in clients who feel trapped in cycles of harmful behaviors - and are unable to stop. Many of us find ourselves stuck in unhealthy habits simply because we don't see a better way. With Mother Hunger, McDaniel helps women break the cycle of destructive behavior by taking a fresh look at childhood trauma and its lasting impact.
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Good but …
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What listeners say about The Eldest Daughter Effect
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall
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Performance
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- Elizabeth E.
- 01-14-21
Privileged Perspective
This book is very well done, if you’re a white eldest daughter from a family that has some wealth, resources, and perhaps have never been divorced. Otherwise, this book lacks depth and inclusivity. The book does highlight some dispositions of an eldest daughter, but does not consider alternative family makeups outside of the nuclear family.
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14 people found this helpful