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The Fat Man
- A Tale of North Pole Noir
- Narrated by: Johnny Heller
- Length: 5 hrs and 29 mins
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Publisher's summary
Fired from his longtime job as captain of the Coal Patrol, two-foot-three-inch, 1,300-year-old elf Gumdrop Coal is angry. He's one of Santa's original elves, inspired by the fat man's vision to bring joy to children on that one special day each year. But somewhere along the way, things went sour for Gumdrop. Maybe it was delivering one too many lumps of coal for the Naughty List. Maybe it's the conspiracy against Christmas that he's starting to sense down every chimney.
Either way, North Pole disillusionment is nothing new: Some elves brood with a bottle of nog, trying to forget their own wish list. Some get better. Some get bitter. Gumdrop Coal wants revenge. Justice is the only thing he knows, and so he decides to give a serious wakeup call to parents who can't keep their vile offspring from landing on the Naughty List. But when one parent winds up dead, his eye shot out with a Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model BB gun, Gumdrop Coal must learn who framed him and why. Along the way he'll escape the life-sucking plants of the Mistletoe Forest, battle the infamous Tannenbomb Giant, and survive a close encounter with 12 very angry drummers and their violent friends. The horrible truth lurking behind the gingerbread doors of Kringle Town could spell the end of Christmas - and of the fat man himself. Holly Jolly!
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- By: Karen Marie Moning
- Narrated by: Joyce Bean
- Length: 8 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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MacKayla Lane's life is good. She has great friends, a decent job, and a car that breaks down only every other week or so. In other words, she's your perfectly ordinary 21st-century woman. Or so she thinks...until something extraordinary happens.
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Stick with it!
- By Dana on 01-27-11
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A Boy Called Christmas Movie Tie-In Edition
- By: Matt Haig
- Narrated by: Stephen Fry
- Length: 4 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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Eleven-year-old Nikolas - nicknamed "Christmas" - has received only one toy in his life: a doll carved out of a turnip. But he's happy with his turnip doll, because it came from his parents, who love him. Then one day his father goes missing, and Nikolas must travel to the North Pole to save him. Along the way Nikolas befriends a surly reindeer, bests a troublesome troll, and discovers a hidden world of enchantment in the frozen village of Elfhelm.
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Wonderful magical story!
- By Twin Cities gal on 01-01-18
By: Matt Haig
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Carrying Albert Home
- The Somewhat True Story of a Woman, a Husband, and Her Alligator
- By: Homer Hickam
- Narrated by: Adam Verner
- Length: 10 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Elsie Lavender and Homer Hickam (the father of the author) were high school classmates in the West Virginia coalfields, graduating just as the Great Depression began. When Homer asked for her hand, Elsie instead headed to Orlando, where she sparked with a dancing actor named Buddy Ebsen (yes, that Buddy Ebsen). But when Buddy headed for New York, Elsie's dreams of a life with him were crushed, and eventually she found herself back in the coalfields, married to Homer.
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Absolutely Delightful!!
- By Sharon on 03-01-16
By: Homer Hickam
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Impulse
- By: Ellen Hopkins
- Narrated by: Laura Flanagan, Jeremy Guskin, Steve Coombs
- Length: 6 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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The handsome son of wealthy parents, Connor has everything anyone could want...except his family's love and affection. Jailed for years after killing his mother's child-molesting boyfriend, Tony is confused about his sexuality. Manic-depressive Vanessa cuts herself. All three stories intertwine in a brutally honest story about pain and resilience.
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Everything to want in a book❤️
- By Jazmine on 07-04-15
By: Ellen Hopkins
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Slice of Cherry
- By: Dia Reeves
- Narrated by: Suzy Jackson
- Length: 10 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Kit and Fancy Cordelle are sisters of the best kind: best friends, best confidantes, and best accomplices. The daughters of the infamous Bonesaw Killer, Kit and Fancy are used to feeling like outsiders, and that's just the way they like it. But in Portero, where the weird and wild run rampant, the Cordelle sisters are hardly the oddest or most dangerous creatures around. It's no surprise when Kit and Fancy start to give in to their deepest desire: the desire to kill.
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Surreal, riveting tale
- By pakkmom on 02-11-11
By: Dia Reeves
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Whistling in the Dark
- A Novel
- By: Lesley Kagen
- Narrated by: Lesley Kagen
- Length: 8 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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Sally O'Malley made a promise to her daddy before he died. She swore she'd look after her sister, Troo. Keep her safe. But like her Granny always said, actions speak louder than words. And Sally would have to agree with her.
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One of the worst books I've read in a long time
- By Dianne on 08-13-21
By: Lesley Kagen
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Sammy Keyes and the Hotel Thief
- By: Wendelin Van Draanen
- Narrated by: Tara Sands
- Length: 3 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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While looking out the window with her grandma's binoculars, Sammy witnesses a crime across the street at the Heavenly Hotel. What's worse, the thief saw her spying! As Sammy attempts to find the burglar who has made several other hits in the neighborhood, she finds herself trying to keep him from uncovering her - or worse, the police discovering that she's living illegally with her grandmother in the seniors-only housing!
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Fun read for young kids!
- By Sara Sweetman on 06-24-16
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Oldest Living Confederate Widow Tells All
- By: Allan Gurganus
- Narrated by: Barbara McCulloh
- Length: 49 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Allan Gurganus's Oldest Living Confederate Widow Tells All became an instant classic upon its publication. Critics and fans alike fell in love with the voice of 99-year-old Confederate widow Lucy Marsden, one of the most entertaining and loquacious heroines in American literature. Lucy married at the turn of the 20th century, when she was 15 and her husband was 50. If Colonel William Marsden was a veteran of the "War for Southern Independence", Lucy became a "veteran of the veteran" with a unique perspective on Southern history and Southern manhood.
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Dated.
- By edie butler on 04-06-21
By: Allan Gurganus
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Oz Reimagined
- New Tales from the Emerald City and Beyond
- By: Douglas Cohen - editor, John Joseph Adams - editor
- Narrated by: Nick Podehl, Tanya Eby
- Length: 10 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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When L. Frank Baum introduced Dorothy and friends to the American public in 1900, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz became an instant, best-selling hit. Today the whimsical tale remains a cultural phenomenon that continues to spawn wildly popular books, movies, and musicals. Now, editors John Joseph Adams and Douglas Cohen have brought together leading fantasy writers such as Orson Scott Card and Jane Yolen to create the ultimate anthology for Oz fans.
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The Many Faces of Dorothy or Dot
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 07-19-14
By: Douglas Cohen - editor, and others
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One of Us
- By: Craig DiLouie
- Narrated by: Maxwell Hamilton
- Length: 11 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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A startlingly remarkable novel set in 1984 where a group of teenagers begin to discover powerful secrets about themselves, and learn that the only way to create their own future is to break away from previous generations.They call it the plague. A generation of children born with extreme genetic mutations. They call it a home. But it's a place of neglect and forced labor. They call him a freak. But Dog is just a boy who wants to be treated as normal. They call them dangerous. They might be right.
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Not Bad...
- By NikiLow723 on 07-24-18
By: Craig DiLouie
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Jeremy Thatcher, Dragon Hatcher
- By: Bruce Coville
- Narrated by: Bruce Coville
- Length: 2 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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If Howard Morton and Freddie the Frog Killer were trying to hold you down so that Mary Lou Hutton could kiss you, you might run as fast as Jeremy Thatcher did the day he stumbled into Mr. Elives' Magic Shop. And if you stumbled into that strange shop, you, too, might be asked to make a choice. What would you buy? The Chinese rings? The Skull of Truth? Or the dragon's egg?
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love this book as a kid
- By Jamie wool on 11-16-17
By: Bruce Coville
What listeners say about The Fat Man
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Amazon Customer
- 12-12-16
The Fatman is a Christmas treat!
A thoroughly delightful Christmas treat with just right ingredients! Do enjoy opening this creative gift!
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1 person found this helpful
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- PastorJim
- 12-17-10
Fantastic Holiday Listen
I've been an Audible subscriber for more than 9 years, but I've only felt compelled to write a review a handful of times. This is one of those times.
This book is "laugh-out-loud" funny. The narrator does a great job of pulling off the "noir" style. I loved meeting my favorite holiday characters in a brand new way. The overall message was positive and uplifting, without being sappy.
One of my new favorite holiday reads (up there with Hogfather by Terry Pratchett).
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9 people found this helpful
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- Alex Campbell Sr.
- 03-17-20
Love this book!
I typically don't like stories about Christmas that have a darker tone being a Christmas fanatic. This book had so many moments of Christmas nostalgia and meaning in it, that I found myself smiling, laughing and being sentimental. I wholeheartedly give this book my Christmas endorsement! How Ho Ho!
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- Susan
- 12-14-10
My New Favorite Christmas Tale
I bought this title yesterday evening; listened to it as soon as it finished the download. And it is now my favorite Christmas Listen ... to be enjoyed year after year. It has the best of the Noir style, with a tongue-in-cheek attitude, valiantly satirizing the genre and calling on many Christmas favorite tales along the way. Reminiscent of a quality B-movie, I listened to this book like I watch the B&W version of It's A Wonderful Life (and avoid the colorized version) -- enjoying it and anticipating the next line, sometimes even knowing what it would be but not caring that I already knew.
I can't tell you my favorite parts of the book as that would give away too much. However, if you like the noir style, then you will probably enjoy this book.
But, be aware, this is not really a family/children's story even if it is about elves and Santa and has characters with silly names like Charles Candy Cane or Tannenbomb.
The narrator does an excellent job, in my opinion.
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7 people found this helpful
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- St. Joe's amigo
- 04-17-12
Great lampooning of Christmas cliche's & specials
If you like noir, dark comedy, or the lampooning of hackneyed cultural associations with Christmas, this is a very unique and enjoyable Christmas time book. (Nothing in it makes fun of the religious components of Christmas, only the cliches, tv & music specials, and commercialized traditions.) Its got to be in or around the Christmas season and you have to be the person that can get into something narrated by an elf in a Sam Spade style. If so you will have a fun time with this one. I don't know anything else like it. Great parody if you like this style.
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1 person found this helpful
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- A. Sentoni
- 12-23-11
Smart, Fun, Edgy and Saucy (mostly)
This was an extremely fun, laugh-out-loud, cracker of a story. Brilliantly conceived and brilliantly executed. The actor/narrator’s performance was so perfectly shaped and constructed; Mr. Heller, an award-winning voice actor, brought these saucy and magnificent characters to full realization through his perfectly-suited Noir style.
Almost every line has some quirky reference or wink/nod based on classic Christmas stories, movies and animated TV specials and spins them in a unique, razor-witted, and extremely intelligent way. For most of this book, I found myself moving from grin, to laugh, to shock, to chortle, to chuckle, and back again.
The structure of the book does seem to spin out of control near the end, only to wrap up in a somewhat unnecessary and overtly-religious way. This bothered me until I realized the source from which the author drew his conclusion was also one of those animated classics which, by today’s “standards,” comes across as also quite overtly “religious.” Once I realized who this character was, it lessened my aversion to the seemingly forced message or moral that it presented. I don’t usually have an aversion to books that have a strong Moral, if that Moral emerges or develops naturally from the characters, or plot, or style of writing. Given the tone of 9/10ths of this book, however, the conclusion seemed entirely out of character from the rest of the book. It felt forced and manipulated, and did slightly spoil the overall experience of the otherwise brilliant world and language the author created.
The bottom line is: I have in fact, recommended this book to several people for the incredibly sharp and smartly funny turns of phrase and stylistic brilliance in the writing. Despite the structural problems and awkward way it comes to its conclusion, I still think this is a wonderful holiday tale.
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4 people found this helpful
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- K. Wade
- 12-19-18
Loved all the references
Enjoyed the unique story of Santa and elves. Narrator was perfect choice for this book. Lots of cultural references and some not so subtle references to classic Christmas stories.
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1 person found this helpful
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- John T
- 12-02-18
Very good performance, story not so much
I found the story to be a bit of a lost opportunity. It's a terrific idea, and has some really fun elements, but it got a bit bogged down with what were, for me, unfortunate elements. To begin with, especially in the beginning, it was a bit needlessly mean-spirited.Truthfully, though, my biggest issue was that it got into too much religious proselytizing. It was fine at first - in fact I liked the way it drew parallels between the myth of Santa and the Christian myth of the birth of Jesus. Not exactly my cup of tea, but I appreciated it. But then later it got way too heavy-handed for my taste. In truth I probably would have given it 2 stars, but I figured others would appreciate those elements more than I would so I gave it the benefit of the doubt.
As for Johnny Heller's narration... bravo! Johnny made it much more bearable for me. I really enjoy listening to his interpretations of stories, and this was no different.
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- BookLuvr
- 03-06-12
Know your fairy tales? This fare is gumdrop yummy
What did you love best about The Fat Man?
I loved the 40s style delivery of the narrator. It was like I could turn a corner and find Humphrey Bogart at the North Pole.
What did you like best about this story?
There was no holding back on dragging every kid's story and fairy tale out to be smashed into tinsel coated shards of glass. I will never look at Grumpy or candy canes the same way.All the characters and the North Pole itself were packed with familiar memories that I invested in some of the characters quickly.
Which character – as performed by Johnny Heller – was your favorite?
Oddly, not the hero. But Johnny had so many other great ones, I didn't mind. The way he portrayed the bond of friendship (bromance?) between Gumdrop and his best pal, made it real in a world of fantasy.
Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?
The noir style had me at hello, but half-way through the book I was exhausted from the mental work it takes to comprehend that kind of lingo. All the references to other films, books, and fairy tales connected me to so many parts of my life, I knew I had to finish the book. Gumdrop Coal is a bit dark and scary for a bit too long. There were a few twists too many and I had to go back a couple times just to understand who was or wasn't on the right side.
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- Liz Hyde
- 12-28-20
A New Holiday Tradition
Highly recommend as a yearly addition to your Christmas traditions. A fun, spirited romp that will remind you of your favorite holiday characters and cherished movie lines and carols. Yet Harmon creates such an original take on Santa, elves, toys, etc that you will want to read this noir novel straight through to see what happens next. And you will want to read it year after year to revisit this intriguing story and well developed characters as they reveal a timeless lesson in the true meaning of Christmas.
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