The Four Things That Matter Most 10th Anniversary Edition
A Book About Living
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Narrated by:
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Barry Abrams
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By:
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Ira Byock MD
About this listen
Four simple phrases - "Please forgive me", "I forgive you", "Thank you", and "I love you" - carry enormous power to mend and nurture our relationships and inner lives. These four phrases and the sentiments they convey provide a path to emotional well-being, guiding us through interpersonal difficulties to life with integrity and grace.
Dr. Ira Byock, an international leader in palliative care, explains how we can practice these life-affirming words in our day-to-day lives. Too often we assume that the people we love really know that we love them. Dr. Byock demonstrates the value of "stating the obvious" and provides practical insights into the benefits of letting go of old grudges and toxic emotions. His stories help us to forgive, appreciate, love, and celebrate one another and live life more fully.
Using the Four Things in a wide range of life situations, we can experience emotional healing even in the wake of family strife, personal tragedy, divorce, or in the face of death. With practical wisdom and spiritual power, The Four Things That Matter Most gives us the language and guidance to honor and experience what really matters most in our lives every day.
©2014 Ira Byock, MD (P)2017 TantorListeners also enjoyed...
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Modern Loss
- Candid Conversation About Grief. Beginners Welcome.
- By: Rebecca Soffer, Gabrielle Birkner
- Narrated by: Meredith Mitchell, Josh Bloomberg
- Length: 7 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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At a time when we mourn public figures and national tragedies with hashtags, where intimate posts about loss go viral and we receive automated birthday reminders for dead friends, it's clear we are navigating new terrain without a road map. Let's face it: Most of us have always had a difficult time talking about death and sharing our grief. We're awkward and uncertain; we avoid, ignore, or even deny feelings of sadness; we offer platitudes; we send sympathy bouquets whittled out of fruit.
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Not What I Was Expecting
- By Bessie Mae on 03-01-23
By: Rebecca Soffer, and others
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Women Rowing North
- By: Mary Pipher
- Narrated by: Suzanne Toren
- Length: 8 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance
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Women growing older contend with ageism, misogyny and loss. Yet as Mary Pipher shows, most older women are deeply happy and filled with gratitude for the gifts of life. Their struggles help them grow into the authentic, empathetic and wise people they have always wanted to be. In Women Rowing North, Pipher offers a timely examination of the cultural and developmental issues women face as they age.
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The narrator is a distraction
- By Amazon Customer on 03-01-19
By: Mary Pipher
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Your Heart, My Hands
- An Immigrant's Remarkable Journey to Become One of America's Preeminent Cardiac Surgeons
- By: Arun K. Singh MD, John Hanc - contributor, Delos Cosgrove MD - foreword
- Narrated by: Shridhar Solanki
- Length: 8 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Leaving a life marked by crippling setbacks and his father's doubt, in 1967 a 20-something doctor from India arrived in America with only five dollars and the desire to claim his American dream. Faced with an entirely new culture, racism, and the lasting effects of disabling childhood injuries, through hard work and perseverance he overcame all odds. Now having performed over 15,000 open-heart surgeries, more than nearly every surgeon in history, Dr. Singh reflects on his most memorable patients and his incredible personal life.
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Remarkable!
- By Stacey on 12-01-22
By: Arun K. Singh MD, and others
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Appointments with Heaven
- The True Story of a Country Doctor's Healing Encounters with the Hereafter
- By: Dr. Reggie Anderson, Jennifer Schuchmann
- Narrated by: Eric G. Dove
- Length: 9 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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When a patient first asked Dr. Reggie Anderson to sit at her bedside as she passed from this life, something miraculous happened. As he held her hand, the veil between this world and the next parted…and he received an astonishing glimpse of what awaits us in heaven. Little did he know this was just a foretaste of what was to come - a lifetime of God-given "appointments with heaven." Join Reggie as he shares remarkable stories from his life and practice, including the personal tragedy that nearly drove him away from faith forever.
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More about Christianity than the Hereafter
- By Karen on 11-25-14
By: Dr. Reggie Anderson, and others
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Peace from Broken Pieces
- How to Get Through What You're Going Through
- By: Iyanla Vanzant
- Narrated by: Iyanla Vanzant
- Length: 11 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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New York Times best-selling author Iyanla Vanzant recounts the last decade of her life and the spiritual lessons learned—from the price of success during her meteoric rise as a TV celebrity on Oprah, the Iyanla TV show (produced by Barbara Walters), to the dissolution of her marriage and her daughter's 15 months of illness and death on Christmas day.
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Iyanla is Inspirational! A GREAT LISTEN!!!
- By Theresa on 12-04-11
By: Iyanla Vanzant
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Peace, Love & Healing
- Bodymind Communication & the Path to Self-Healing: An Exploration
- By: Bernie S. Siegel
- Narrated by: Bernie S. Siegel
- Length: 2 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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A classic of patient empowerment, Peace, Love & Healing offered the revolutionary message that we have an innate ability to heal ourselves. Now proven by numerous scientific studies, the connection between our minds and our bodies has been increasingly accepted as fact throughout the mainstream medical community. In a new introduction, Dr. Bernie Siegel highlights current research on the relationships among consciousness, psychosocial factors, attitude, and immune function.
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horrible horrible
- By Honestly on 02-09-15
By: Bernie S. Siegel
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The Spectrum of Hope
- An Optimistic and New Approach to Alzheimer's Disease and Other Dementias
- By: Gayatri Devi MD
- Narrated by: Wendy Tremont King
- Length: 12 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Imagine finding a glimmer of good news in a diagnosis of Alzheimer's. And imagine how that would change the outlook of the five million Americans who suffer from Alzheimer's disease and other dementias, not to mention their families, loved ones, and caretakers. A neurologist who's been specializing in dementia and memory loss for more than 20 years, Dr. Gayatri Devi rewrites the story of Alzheimer's by defining it as a spectrum disorder - like autism, Alzheimer's is a disease that affects different people differently.
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Aging with Grace
- By Lisa F on 05-19-21
By: Gayatri Devi MD
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A Promise Is a Promise
- An Almost Unbelievable Story of a Mother's Unconditional Love and What It Can Teach Us
- By: Dr. Wayne W. Dyer
- Narrated by: Dr. Wayne W. Dyer
- Length: 1 hr and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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This story, which tells of Kaye O'Bara's devotion to her comatose daughter, Edwarda, transcends our own experiences of love. It reminds us to look within and see where we can give unconditionally.
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An interesting story
- By Jes_074 on 10-04-23
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Walking on Eggshells
- Navigating the Delicate Relationship Between Adult Children and Parents
- By: Jane Isay
- Narrated by: Ann Marie Lee
- Length: 7 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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We raise our children to be independent and lead fulfilling lives, but when they finally do, staying close becomes more complicated than ever. And for every bewildered mother who wonders why her children don't call, there is a frustrated son or daughter who just wants to be treated like a grownup. Now, renowned editor Jane Isay delivers the perfect gift to both parents and their adult children-real-life wisdom and advice on how to stay together without falling apart.
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Disappointed
- By tammy alvarez on 01-13-19
By: Jane Isay
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Happily Ever After
- The Life-Changing Power of a Grateful Heart
- By: Trista Sutter
- Narrated by: Trista Sutter
- Length: 5 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Whether or not you remember Trista (Rehn) Sutter from her heartbreak on the first season of The Bachelor reality show or as the original Bachelorette, you’ve probably seen her on the cover of magazines like People and US Weekly or on shows like Ellen and Dancing with the Stars. She has rarely been out of the public eye since falling in love with Ryan Sutter on The Bachelorette more than ten years ago.
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Not what I was expecting
- By marcie on 01-09-17
By: Trista Sutter
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Advice for Future Corpses (and Those Who Love Them)
- A Practical Perspective on Death and Dying
- By: Sallie Tisdale
- Narrated by: Gabra Zackman
- Length: 7 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance
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Story
You get ready to die the way you get ready for a trip. Start by realizing you don't know the way. Listen to a few travel guides. Study the language, look at maps, gather equipment. Let yourself imagine what it will be like. Pack your bags. This book is one of those travel guides - a guide to preparing for your own death and the deaths of people close to you. The fact of death is hard to believe. Sallie Tisdale explores our fears and all the ways death and talking about death make us uncomfortable - but she also explores its intimacies and joys.
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I thought I had more time...
- By Alyssa on 09-09-19
By: Sallie Tisdale
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Writing an ethical will, a document that includes stories and reflections about your past, is an ancient tradition. It can include joy and regrets, and ultimately becomes both a way to remember a loved one who is gone and a primer on how to live a better, happier life. Beloved Rabbi Steve Leder has helped thousands of people to write their own ethical wills, and in this intimate book helps us write our own.
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Life Changing
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Advice for Future Corpses (and Those Who Love Them)
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You get ready to die the way you get ready for a trip. Start by realizing you don't know the way. Listen to a few travel guides. Study the language, look at maps, gather equipment. Let yourself imagine what it will be like. Pack your bags. This book is one of those travel guides - a guide to preparing for your own death and the deaths of people close to you. The fact of death is hard to believe. Sallie Tisdale explores our fears and all the ways death and talking about death make us uncomfortable - but she also explores its intimacies and joys.
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I thought I had more time...
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Being with Dying
- Cultivating Compassion and Fearlessness in the Presence of Death
- By: Joan Halifax, Ira Byock MD - foreword
- Narrated by: Claire Slemmer
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The Buddhist approach to death can be of great benefit to people of all backgrounds - as has been demonstrated time and again in Joan Halifax's decades of work with the dying and their caregivers. Inspired by traditional Buddhist teachings, her work is a source of wisdom for all those who are charged with a dying person's care, facing their own death, or wishing to explore and contemplate the transformative power of the dying process.
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Tender and honest perspective
- By D. Chin on 09-15-16
By: Joan Halifax, and others
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The Five Invitations
- Discovering What Death Can Teach Us About Living Fully
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- Narrated by: Frank Ostaseski
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Death is not waiting for us at the end of a long road. Death is always with us, in the marrow of every passing moment. She is the secret teacher hiding in plain sight, helping us to discover what matters most. Life and death are a package deal. They cannot be pulled apart, and we cannot truly live unless we are aware of death. The Five Invitations is an exhilarating meditation on the meaning of life and how maintaining an ever-present consciousness of death can bring us closer to our truest selves.
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A wonderful resource for caregivers, patients
- By Elizabeth Kerin on 02-05-18
By: Frank Ostaseski
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George Anderson's Lessons from the Light
- Extraordinary Messages of Comfort and Hope from the Other Side
- By: George Anderson, Andrew Barone
- Narrated by: Chris Sorensen
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In his years working with bereaved families to communicate with lost loved ones, George Anderson has earned an international reputation for his astonishing abilities. Now, for the first time, Anderson offers a vivid and intimate account of his spiritual communications. He explains what it's like to be a psychic, what he experiences, and what it means. He directly answers the many questions most commonly asked of him.
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Absolutely LOVED this book!!!
- By Tasha on 06-13-19
By: George Anderson, and others
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Women Rowing North
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Women growing older contend with ageism, misogyny and loss. Yet as Mary Pipher shows, most older women are deeply happy and filled with gratitude for the gifts of life. Their struggles help them grow into the authentic, empathetic and wise people they have always wanted to be. In Women Rowing North, Pipher offers a timely examination of the cultural and developmental issues women face as they age.
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The narrator is a distraction
- By Amazon Customer on 03-01-19
By: Mary Pipher
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For You When I Am Gone
- Twelve Essential Questions to Tell a Life Story
- By: Steve Leder
- Narrated by: Steve Leder
- Length: 5 hrs and 2 mins
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Overall
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Performance
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Writing an ethical will, a document that includes stories and reflections about your past, is an ancient tradition. It can include joy and regrets, and ultimately becomes both a way to remember a loved one who is gone and a primer on how to live a better, happier life. Beloved Rabbi Steve Leder has helped thousands of people to write their own ethical wills, and in this intimate book helps us write our own.
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Life Changing
- By Ms Deb on 07-09-22
By: Steve Leder
-
Advice for Future Corpses (and Those Who Love Them)
- A Practical Perspective on Death and Dying
- By: Sallie Tisdale
- Narrated by: Gabra Zackman
- Length: 7 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
You get ready to die the way you get ready for a trip. Start by realizing you don't know the way. Listen to a few travel guides. Study the language, look at maps, gather equipment. Let yourself imagine what it will be like. Pack your bags. This book is one of those travel guides - a guide to preparing for your own death and the deaths of people close to you. The fact of death is hard to believe. Sallie Tisdale explores our fears and all the ways death and talking about death make us uncomfortable - but she also explores its intimacies and joys.
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I thought I had more time...
- By Alyssa on 09-09-19
By: Sallie Tisdale
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Being with Dying
- Cultivating Compassion and Fearlessness in the Presence of Death
- By: Joan Halifax, Ira Byock MD - foreword
- Narrated by: Claire Slemmer
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Overall
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The Buddhist approach to death can be of great benefit to people of all backgrounds - as has been demonstrated time and again in Joan Halifax's decades of work with the dying and their caregivers. Inspired by traditional Buddhist teachings, her work is a source of wisdom for all those who are charged with a dying person's care, facing their own death, or wishing to explore and contemplate the transformative power of the dying process.
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Tender and honest perspective
- By D. Chin on 09-15-16
By: Joan Halifax, and others
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The Five Invitations
- Discovering What Death Can Teach Us About Living Fully
- By: Frank Ostaseski
- Narrated by: Frank Ostaseski
- Length: 12 hrs and 16 mins
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Death is not waiting for us at the end of a long road. Death is always with us, in the marrow of every passing moment. She is the secret teacher hiding in plain sight, helping us to discover what matters most. Life and death are a package deal. They cannot be pulled apart, and we cannot truly live unless we are aware of death. The Five Invitations is an exhilarating meditation on the meaning of life and how maintaining an ever-present consciousness of death can bring us closer to our truest selves.
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-
A wonderful resource for caregivers, patients
- By Elizabeth Kerin on 02-05-18
By: Frank Ostaseski
-
George Anderson's Lessons from the Light
- Extraordinary Messages of Comfort and Hope from the Other Side
- By: George Anderson, Andrew Barone
- Narrated by: Chris Sorensen
- Length: 13 hrs and 57 mins
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In his years working with bereaved families to communicate with lost loved ones, George Anderson has earned an international reputation for his astonishing abilities. Now, for the first time, Anderson offers a vivid and intimate account of his spiritual communications. He explains what it's like to be a psychic, what he experiences, and what it means. He directly answers the many questions most commonly asked of him.
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Absolutely LOVED this book!!!
- By Tasha on 06-13-19
By: George Anderson, and others
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The narrator is a distraction
- By Amazon Customer on 03-01-19
By: Mary Pipher
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Being Mortal
- Medicine and What Matters in the End
- By: Atul Gawande
- Narrated by: Robert Petkoff
- Length: 9 hrs and 3 mins
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In Being Mortal, best-selling author Atul Gawande tackles the hardest challenge of his profession: how medicine can not only improve life but also the process of its ending. Medicine has triumphed in modern times, transforming birth, injury, and infectious disease from harrowing to manageable. But in the inevitable condition of aging and death, the goals of medicine seem too frequently to run counter to the interest of the human spirit.
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A Walk through the Valley of the Shadow
- By George on 11-02-14
By: Atul Gawande
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Embrace the Struggle
- Living Life on Life's Terms
- By: Zig Ziglar, Julie Ziglar Norman
- Narrated by: Zig Ziglar
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From a highly successful career in motivational speaking to a daily struggle overcoming the effects of a head injury, Zig Ziglar's life changed drastically in just minutes when he suffered a traumatic fall down the stairs one fateful night. After years of speaking and writing about the value of having a positive attitude and being thankful, Zig was challenged to put his own words into practice.
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God Bless Zig Ziglar
- By AskJoe.TV on 11-04-09
By: Zig Ziglar, and others
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More Beautiful Than Before
- How Suffering Transforms Us
- By: Steve Leder
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Every one of us sooner or later walks through hell. The hell of being hurt, the hell of hurting another. The hell of cancer, the hell of a reluctant, thunking shovel full of earth upon the casket of someone we deeply loved, the hell of betrayal, the hell of betraying, the hell of divorce, the hell of a kid in trouble...the hell of knowing that this year, like any year, may be our last. We all walk through hell. The point is not to come out empty-handed.... There is real and profound power in the suffering we endure if we transform that suffering into a more authentic, meaningful life.
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Learning from Pain
- By Dave on 02-20-19
By: Steve Leder
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Option B
- Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy
- By: Sheryl Sandberg, Adam Grant
- Narrated by: Elisa Donovan
- Length: 6 hrs and 14 mins
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After the sudden death of her husband, Sheryl Sandberg felt certain that she and her children would never feel pure joy again. "I was in 'the void,'" she writes, "a vast emptiness that fills your heart and lungs and restricts your ability to think or even breathe." Her friend Adam Grant, a psychologist at Wharton, told her there are concrete steps people can take to recover and rebound from life-shattering experiences. We are not born with a fixed amount of resilience. It is a muscle that everyone can build.
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Books is ok but completely misadvertised
- By Alex Carpenter on 10-08-17
By: Sheryl Sandberg, and others
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Any Ordinary Day
- Blindsides, Resilience and What Happens After the Worst Day of Your Life
- By: Leigh Sales
- Narrated by: Leigh Sales
- Length: 6 hrs and 29 mins
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As a journalist, Leigh Sales often encounters people experiencing the worst moments of their lives in the full glare of the media. But one particular string of bad news stories - and a terrifying brush with her own mortality - sent her looking for answers about how vulnerable each of us is to a life-changing event. What are our chances of actually experiencing one? What do we fear most and why? And when the worst does happen, what comes next?
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Beautiful and Timely
- By Elizabeth B on 10-06-18
By: Leigh Sales
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Walking on Eggshells
- Navigating the Delicate Relationship Between Adult Children and Parents
- By: Jane Isay
- Narrated by: Ann Marie Lee
- Length: 7 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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We raise our children to be independent and lead fulfilling lives, but when they finally do, staying close becomes more complicated than ever. And for every bewildered mother who wonders why her children don't call, there is a frustrated son or daughter who just wants to be treated like a grownup. Now, renowned editor Jane Isay delivers the perfect gift to both parents and their adult children-real-life wisdom and advice on how to stay together without falling apart.
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Disappointed
- By tammy alvarez on 01-13-19
By: Jane Isay
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How We Live Is How We Die
- By: Pema Chödrön
- Narrated by: Olivia Darnley
- Length: 6 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
As much as we might try to resist, endings happen in every moment—the end of a breath, the end of a day, the end of a relationship, and ultimately the end of life. And accompanying each ending is a beginning, though it may be unclear what the beginning holds. In How We Live Is How We Die, Pema Chödrön shares her wisdom for working with this flow of life—learning to live with ease, joy, and compassion through uncertainty, embracing new beginnings, and ultimately preparing for death with curiosity and openness rather than fear.
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Dealing with disappointment!
- By Sabine Blanchard on 10-19-22
By: Pema Chödrön
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A Grief Observed
- By: C. S. Lewis
- Narrated by: Ralph Cosham
- Length: 1 hr and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Written after his wife's tragic death as a way of surviving the "mad midnight moments", A Grief Observed is C.S. Lewis's honest reflection on the fundamental issues of life, death, and faith in the midst of loss. This work contains his concise, genuine reflections on that period.
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Read This One
- By James on 11-26-11
By: C. S. Lewis
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Nothing to Fear
- Demystifying Death to Live More Fully
- By: Julie McFadden RN
- Narrated by: Julie McFadden RN
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What if we didn’t consider death the worst possible outcome? What if we discussed it honestly, embraced hospice care, and prepared for the end of our lives with hope and acceptance? In this compassionate and knowledgeable guide, TikTok star Julie McFadden—known online as “Hospice Nurse Julie”—shares the valuable lessons she’s learned in her fifteen years as an RN in the ICU and in hospice.
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Wonderful
- By pratt426 on 07-13-24
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The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning
- How to Free Yourself and Your Family from a Lifetime of Clutter
- By: Margareta Magnusson
- Narrated by: Juliet Stevenson
- Length: 2 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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In Sweden there is a kind of decluttering called döstädning, dö meaning "death" and städning meaning "cleaning." This surprising and invigorating process of clearing out unnecessary belongings can be undertaken at any age or life stage but should be done sooner rather than later, before others have to do it for you. In The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning, artist Margareta Magnusson, with Scandinavian humor and wisdom, instructs listeners to embrace minimalism.
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Great Title, Bad Book
- By Jane on 01-03-18
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The Wild Edge of Sorrow
- Rituals of Renewal and the Sacred Work of Grief
- By: Francis Weller, Michael Lerner - foreword
- Narrated by: Derek Botten
- Length: 6 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Noted psychotherapist Francis Weller provides an essential guide for navigating the deep waters of sorrow and loss in this lyrical yet practical handbook for mastering the art of grieving. Describing how Western patterns of amnesia and anesthesia affect our capacity to cope with personal and collective sorrows, Weller reveals the new vitality we may encounter when we welcome, rather than fear, the pain of loss.
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Grief for Dummies
- By August on 08-14-17
By: Francis Weller, and others
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Living Untethered
- Beyond the Human Predicament
- By: Michael A. Singer
- Narrated by: Michael A. Singer
- Length: 5 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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When our sense of wholeness depends on things or people outside ourselves—whether it's a coveted job, a new house, a lavish vacation, or even a new relationship—sooner or later we're bound to feel unsatisfied. But how do we embark on this inner journey? Living Untethered is the book to reach for. It provides clear guidance for moving beyond the thoughts, feelings, and habits that keep you stuck—so you can heal the pain of the past and let your spirit soar. It's time to stop struggling and start experiencing.
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Good but mostly repeat
- By Stephanie Herndon on 05-30-22
What listeners say about The Four Things That Matter Most 10th Anniversary Edition
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Performance
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Story
- Cindy W. Mitchell
- 09-14-24
Words for everyone to live by
Maybe we have all heard and hopefully shared these words with our loved ones but the reminder is great. Please forgive me. I forgive you. Thank you. I love you and finally goodbye
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Performance
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- Jackie St. Hilaire
- 05-20-18
All of us will one day be faced with our goodbyes.
For all caregivers, the medical community, the nursing home workers and especially Hospice .
For husband's, wives, children, grandchildren.
For significant others, close friends.
Now is the time to say the four things that matter.
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- andlinda l
- 09-19-21
I listened to this twice. vital information
vital information to improve all relationships, not just with those who are dying. I listened to it twice
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1 person found this helpful
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Story
- Jen Story
- 11-09-22
Enjoyed this book:
this is a book that should be read by everyone I did. Space it would be beneficial to anyone faced with death.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall
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Performance
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- Laurie A Romano
- 04-19-18
A great Reflection on current relationships
What did you like best about this story?
All the stories that help us to know that we aren't alone in our suffering.
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- Harry
- 02-19-18
A Must Have
Aide yourself and other who are experiencing anticipatory grief. Great tool to have in your praxis or toolbox as a doctor, therapist or even a pastor / chaplain. Highly recommended!
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- Jacob Fallis
- 03-11-24
Must read
The 4 things are a must. Take time to read this book. You won’t be disappointed.
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- Light Seeker
- 03-14-21
A must read
I Have this book in print but really didn’t have much time to read it so decided to get the audio version and I’m happy I did. At first I was a little put off by the narrators voice I slowed it down to .8 (I love this audible feature!) and became acclimated after time as it did not sound at all like the author’s inflection at 100%, too rushed.
I work in hospice so this was a moving read for me on many levels, both professionally and personally. The stories really help to put this in context as the formula is a pretty straightforward and simple one. I look forward to reading more of Ira Byock’s books. Thank you!
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2 people found this helpful