The Gaggle
How the Guys You Know Will Help You Find the Love You Want
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Narrated by:
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Joy Osmanski
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By:
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Jessica Massa
About this listen
The Gaggle captures the zeitgeist of today's "post-dating" world, where the rules for sex, dating, and relationships have completely changed. Instead of dating, women collect a "gaggle" of men who orbit around them, occupying both romantic and platonic roles, but ultimately revealing who and what they want.
It's easy to feel like your love life is nonexistent these days. You know you're great, so why haven't you been on a classic dinner-and-a-movie date since... well, forever? Because, as it turns out, you are now living in a post-dating world, where the old rules for sex and relationships no longer apply. Suddenly, everything and nothing is a date. But this means that you actually have much more going on in your love life than you realize.
Think about all of the ambiguous interactions you have with guys: from a brainstorming session with a coworker, to a drink with an old friend, to a late-night Skype session with an ex who's still in your life. Once you open your eyes, you'll see that you're already exploring all sorts of connections with the men in your life via these "non-dates". And who are all these guys you're non-dating?
Say hello to your gaggle.
The gaggle is the group of guys in your life who play different roles, fulfill different needs, and help you figure out who you are, what you want, and what kind of relationship you ultimately desire. Though no two gaggles are alike, there are 10 types of men a gaggle might include, such as the Ex-Boyfriend Who's Still Around, the Ego Booster, the Hot Sex Prospect, and the Boyfriend Prospect. Romance, excitement, self-discovery, love... all this will be yours, once you stop stressing about dates, labels, and expectations and start thinking of each man you know and meet as a potential guy in your gaggle.
In this clever and groundbreaking debut, based on interviews with women and men across the country, Jessica Massa reveals the ways in which the potential for love is all around you. The Gaggle is the ultimate guide to figuring out what you want - and finding your match - in a world that has left traditional dating behind.
©2012 Jessica Massa (P)2012 Simon & Schuster AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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New York Times best-selling, award-winning author, actor, and motivational speaker Hill Harper invites listeners to join the conversation about the breakdown of the African-American family. The black community of past generations found strength in families, but today’s black children have less than a one in three chance of being raised in a two-parent household. Harper’s search for answers to this phenomenon is an enlightening and empowering journey.
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~*AWESOME*~
- By Nevada on 08-13-10
By: Harper Hill
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Tied Up in Knots
- How Getting What They Wanted Has Made Women Miserable
- By: Andrea Tantaros
- Narrated by: Andrea Tantaros
- Length: 8 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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In this shocking, funny, and bluntly honest tour of today's gender discontents, Andrea Tantaros, one of Fox News' most popular and outspoken stars, exposes how the rightful feminist pursuit of equality went too far, and how the unintended pitfalls of that power trade have made women (and men!) miserable.
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Not What I Thought It Would Be
- By Kevin on 05-06-16
By: Andrea Tantaros
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The Five Flirting Styles
- By: Jeffrey Hall
- Narrated by: Eric Yves Garcia
- Length: 7 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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There's no one right way to flirt, but how you flirt says a lot about your chance at love. Dr. Jeffrey Hall's groundbreaking survey, the "Flirting Styles Inventory," caused a media sensation when it pinpointed five different flirting styles. First sampled exclusively with eHarmony members, it has since helped tens of thousands of people discover their flirting style and provided a wealth of information on how your style affects your love life.
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Not great choice for an audiobook
- By Shaky on 07-21-15
By: Jeffrey Hall
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For Young Men Only
- A Guys Guide to the Alien Gender
- By: Jeff Feldhahn, Eric Rice
- Narrated by: Kelly Ryan Dolan
- Length: 3 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Based on a national survey of hundreds of teenage girls, Jeff Feldhahn and Eric Rice give young men insight into the hearts and minds of teen girls while opening the way to healthier relationships between guys and girls, both now and in their future.
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A must read for every young man
- By Jens W. Skov on 12-11-19
By: Jeff Feldhahn, and others
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TextAppeal for Guys!
- The Ultimate Texting Guide
- By: Michael Masters
- Narrated by: R.C. Bray
- Length: 2 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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I promise you this, if you read this book and apply it's principles, you will have so much more success with women. Imagine, all of the cash you are leaving on the table by not understanding how to get what you want! Imagine, all of those dates, with so many hot girls that you didn't go on simply because you couldn't text right! Seriously, texting incorrectly can crush your chances with women permanently. I can't tell you how many women have vented to me their frustrations at what you are doing.
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Surprising
- By Fulltime Vagabond on 02-27-13
By: Michael Masters
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The Natural
- How to Effortlessly Attract the Women You Want
- By: Richard La Ruina
- Narrated by: Steve West
- Length: 5 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Whether you're looking to play the field or meet that one special girl, world-renowned pickup artist Richard La Ruina has got you covered. In The Natural, he reveals his blueprint for attracting and keeping the kinds of women most men only dream of. It doesn't matter what you look like or how much you make; when you use these methods, it's a whole new game - and you have the unfair advantage.
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mystery method or the game for dummies.
- By Anonymous User on 06-17-18
By: Richard La Ruina
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It's Not You
- 27 (Wrong) Reasons You're Single
- By: Sara Eckel
- Narrated by: Nina Alvamar
- Length: 4 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Based on her popular Modern Love column, Sara Eckel’s It’s Not You challenges these myths, encouraging singletons to stop picking apart their personalities and to start tapping into their own wisdom about who and what is right for them. Supported by the latest psychological and sociological research, as well as interviews with people who have experienced longtime singledom, Eckel creates a strong and empowering argument to understand and accept that there’s no one reason why you’re single - you just are.
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Good Book
- By Anonymous User on 05-24-20
By: Sara Eckel
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The Secret Lives of Introverts
- Inside Our Hidden World
- By: Jenn Granneman
- Narrated by: Susie Berneis
- Length: 7 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Is there a hidden part of you that no one else sees? Do you have a vivid inner world of thoughts and emotions that your peers and loved ones can't seem to access? Have you ever been told you're too quiet, shy, boring, or awkward? Are your habits and comfort zones questioned by a society that doesn't seem to get you? If so, you might be an introvert. On behalf of those who have long been misunderstood, rejected, or ignored, fellow introvert Jenn Granneman writes a compassionate vindication.
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Unnecessary voices
- By Adrienne Warg on 09-13-19
By: Jenn Granneman
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The Game of Desire
- 5 Surprising Secrets to Dating with Dominance - and Getting What You Want
- By: Shannon Boodram
- Narrated by: Shannon Boodram
- Length: 7 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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For younger generations, dating is a complicated mystery. Apps like Tinder and Bumble are supposed to foster connection but instead serve as a reminder of how painfully single we are. Certified sexologist and intimacy coach Shan Boodram - the most sought-after sex educator on the internet - is about to change all that. In this essential how-to guide, she addresses the realities of life today - when the rules of love and attraction are fluid - and teaches a group of young women how to become master daters in just 60 days.
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Hey it’s me...you
- By Shan Boody on 09-25-19
By: Shannon Boodram
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Unhooked
- How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Love, and Lose at Both
- By: Laura Sessions Stepp
- Narrated by: Ellen Archer
- Length: 9 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Here's an eye-opening examination of the "hookup" culture, seen through the experiences of high-school- and college-age women who confront the hard lessons of dating, love, and sex. Stepp follows three groups of young women and comes away with some disturbing insights. Relationships and romance are seen as messy and time-consuming, and love is postponed or, worse, seen as impossible. Many young women can't handle this, and they're being battered physically and emotionally by the new dating landscape.
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Essential Reading for Parents
- By Elton on 04-19-07
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The Big Life
- Embrace the Mess, Work Your Side Hustle, Find a Monumental Relationship, and Become the Badass Babe You Were Meant to Be
- By: Ann Shoket
- Narrated by: Cassandra Campbell, Ann Shoket
- Length: 5 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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The Big Life is packed with actionable guidance combined with personal advice from high-profile millennial women who have already achieved tremendous success, plus intimate conversations with a cast of compelling characters and Shoket's own stories on her quest for The Big Life. You'll learn to tackle all of the issues on heavy rotation in your mind.
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Just OK
- By Alexandra Medina on 05-15-17
By: Ann Shoket
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For Young Women Only
- What You Need to Know About How Guys Think
- By: Shaunti Feldhahn, Lisa Author Rice
- Narrated by: Shaunti Feldhahn
- Length: 3 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Why are guys so weird? Unravel the mystery. A national scientific survey and in-depth personal interviews give you an unprecedented look inside the teenage male mind. Discover how: He'd be perfectly fine if he was loved by few and hated by many as long as he was respected by all. His ego is the size of Africa (but so are his insecurities). He hides his real feelings under a tough exterior.
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For Christians
- By R. Burdick on 07-18-09
By: Shaunti Feldhahn, and others
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Super You
- Release Your Inner Superhero
- By: Emily Gordon
- Narrated by: Emily Gordon
- Length: 7 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Superheroes don't start from glorious beginnings. Their origins are almost always marked by traumatic events that leave them helpless and scared. Batman witnessed his parents' murder. Superman was sent away from his dying planet with no one to guide him as he grew up. Orphaned Catwoman was forced to steal food to survive on the streets of Gotham. What makes these superheroes super is their determination to not be defined by helplessness. They embrace their origins, their flaws, and their mistakes and strive every day to become the best versions of themselves.
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A wonderful book filled with empathy and humanity.
- By Vincent on 10-06-15
By: Emily Gordon
What listeners say about The Gaggle
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Caitlyn
- 11-03-12
Definitely for the under 30 crowd
This book provided an interesting perspective on the modern dynamic of male-female relationships... but... its all about not taking any relationship too seriously while you get a better handle on who you are and what you need. Sage advice for younger people who are still in that phase, but as a 30yr old woman, this book promotes a lifestyle that no longer appeals to me.
To expand on that: It's about taking an A La Carte approach to meeting your relationship needs by acquiring lots of guy friends. Nothing wrong with that when you're young, but it just sounds exhausting to me now :P
It was an interesting read & if I knew a college bound girl who was planning to scour her campus for a husband, this book offers lots of advice for scaling that mentality back a notch (or 5).
However, if you're past the major self discovery phase and are really looking for a good man to partner up with, this book is not for you. For example, the Accessory is a smart, fun guy you take as a "plus 1" to social/work events. This is 1.) unnecessary for a woman comfortable with who she is and 2.) going to scare off a guy that might approach you because he will think you're not available.
The Hot Sex Prospect is fun for a very short while, but no one is above developing a false sense of intimacy over time that will impact your emotional availability to other romantic prospects.
The bits about non-dates and techno-romance are spot on. I also agree with the author that modern women shouldn't concern themselves with out-dated dating standards or old-timey gimmicks.
The guys gaggle holds true as well and offers helpful advice on figuring out where you factor into a guys life.
Overall, it was worth the credit and was an easy, entertaining listen.
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- Anon
- 12-27-23
Horrifying advice for women
I had to stop listening after only 20 minutes or so. I did not like the way the author kept reiterating over and over and over that dating is done, dating is gone, nobody dates or goes out on dates anymore. “It’s just a bunch of Non dates” she even gave examples of women where the men were clearly not interested, like an alcoholic type rowdy woman who was clearly rejected by a religious man, but kept pursuing him to get out in groups or solo dates, and he finally gave her a chance- and apparently reformed her into a nice girl (?). The book suggested that you message your cute coworkers via IM about topics that they’re interested in which is horrible advice, the workplace is not a dating pool and you can jeopardize your credibility and income. I can’t even remember the worst suggestion of all, basically just pursue men aggressively even if they show zero interest, because, as the author says over and over, dating does not exist, and there are no dates and nobody goes out on dates anymore. The author was happy to include Examples of interviews with young men who say they don’t even go out on dinner dates anymore, what is that? Literally insane. Literally insane. Sorry that young man had no older male relatives to show them how to date.
I’ve gone on countless dinner dates as a borderline gen Z millennial- or waterpark or fair dates or lunch, kayaking, coffee, etc. proper real dates. I felt like the author was trying to force me to manage down my expectations and I really shuddered for any young woman listening who had not yet built the self-esteem to have rejected these half arsed Non dates by now in order to go on real dates. I get it, it’s pretty tough when you’re young early 20s teenager and broke. It took multiple heartbreaks and being used viciously and my body’s safety being put at risk in order to completely stop turning down half arsed hang out non-dates like oh come over to my place type stuff. The stuff the author suggests is “cool”. It was a very strong “be a cool girl and just hang out casually because no man will take you on a date anymore, it doesn’t exist!” I wouldn’t be surprised if the author was a man using a pen name.
I thought the book was literally joking like I was waiting for the punchline where they said oh that’s terrible advice. Don’t do any of that.
I thought the book would be about how you need to consider your other social obligations as potential opportunities to meet men.
I thought the book would be like go to brunch with your platonic friend Dave so that he can introduce you to some of his friends or you might meet a cutie in line for the bathroom or something. No, it literally suggest that you go to brunch with Dave so that eventually Dave might get into a relationship with you, even though he shows zero sign of interest. Crazy.
The rules handbook/not your mother’s rules is a much better book. If you follow the advice in this book, you are likely to end up getting used by some bare minimum, below bare minimum, taker of a man who won’t even commit to you let alone take you to dinner.
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- Emily
- 04-20-15
Horrible
Would you try another book from Jessica Massa and/or Joy Osmanski?
NO
What was most disappointing about Jessica Massa’s story?
I didn't appreciate the language and it wasn't very insightful. It was all information that is just plain common sense.
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