Blood Orange Night
My Journey to the Edge of Madness
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Narrated by:
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Melissa Bond
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By:
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Melissa Bond
About this listen
Brain on Fire meets High Achiever in this “page-turner memoir chronicling a woman’s accidental descent into prescription benzodiazepine dependence—and the life-threatening impacts of long-term use—that chills to the bone” (Nylon).
As Melissa Bond raises her infant daughter and a special-needs one-year-old son, she suffers from unbearable insomnia, sleeping an hour or less each night. She loses her job as a journalist (a casualty of the 2008 recession), and her relationship with her husband grows distant. Her doctor casually prescribes benzodiazepines—a family of drugs that includes Xanax, Valium, Klonopin, Ativan—and increases her dosage regularly.
Following her doctor’s orders, Melissa takes the pills night after night until her body begins to shut down. Only when she collapses while holding her daughter does Melissa learn that her doctor—like so many others—has over-prescribed the medication and quitting cold turkey could lead to psychosis or fatal seizures. Benzodiazepine addiction is not well studied, and few experts know how to help Melissa as she begins the months-long process of tapering off the pills without suffering debilitating, potentially deadly consequences.
Each minute thrums with the heartbeat of Melissa’s struggle—how many hours has she slept? How many weeks old are her babies? How many milligrams has she taken? Her propulsive writing crescendos to a fever pitch as she fights for her health and her ability to care for her children. “Propulsive, poetic” (Shelf Awareness), and immersive, this “vivid chronicle of suffering” (Kirkus Reviews) and redemption shines a light on the prescription benzodiazepine epidemic as it reaches a crisis point in this country.
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- Narrated by: iO Tillett Wright
- Length: 10 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Born into the beautiful bedlam of downtown New York in the eighties, iO Tillett Wright came of age at the intersection of punk, poverty, heroin, and art. This was a world of self-invented characters, glamorous superstars, and strung-out sufferers, ground zero of drag and performance art. Still, no personality was more vibrant and formidable than iO's mother's. Rhonna, a showgirl and young widow, was a mercurial, erratic glamazon. She was iO's fiercest defender and only authority in a world with few boundaries and even fewer indicators of normal life.
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Can’t wait for more from this Author!
- By Team Hobson on 07-24-19
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Hope and Other Luxuries
- A Mother’s Journey Through a Daughter’s Anorexia
- By: Clare B. Dunkle
- Narrated by: Abby Craden
- Length: 22 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Clare Dunkle seemed to have an ideal life - two beautiful, high-achieving teenage daughters, a loving husband, and a satisfying and successful career as a children's book novelist. But it's when you let down your guard that the ax falls. Just after one daughter successfully conquered her depression, another daughter developed a life-threatening eating disorder.
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Potent and Real
- By Susie on 09-17-15
By: Clare B. Dunkle
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If I am Missing or Dead
- A Sister's Story of Love, Murder, and Liberation
- By: Janine Latus
- Narrated by: Shelly Frasier
- Length: 8 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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In April 2002, Janine Latus' youngest sister, Amy, wrote a note and taped it to the inside of her desk drawer. "Today Ron Ball and I are romantically involved", it read, "but I fear I have placed myself at risk in a variety of ways. Based on his criminal past, writing this out just seems like the smart thing to do. If I am missing or dead this obviously has not protected me...."
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All About Janine
- By Ellen on 07-02-07
By: Janine Latus
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Marrow
- By: Tarryn Fisher
- Narrated by: Audra Pagano
- Length: 10 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Margo is not like other girls. She lives in a derelict neighborhood called the Bone, in a cursed house, with her cursed mother, who hasn't spoken to her in over two years. She lives her days feeling invisible. It's not until she develops a friendship with her wheelchair-bound neighbor, Judah Grant, that things begin to change. When a neighborhood girl, seven-year-old Neveah Anthony, goes missing, Judah sets out to help Margo uncover what happened to her. What Margo finds changes her, and with a new perspective on life she's determined to find evil and punish it.
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HUH?? I'm so confused LOL
- By ❤️Cyndi Marie❤️🎧Audiobook Addicts🎧 on 09-15-16
By: Tarryn Fisher
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True Stories from an Unreliable Eyewitness
- A Feminist Coming of Age
- By: Christine Lahti
- Narrated by: Christine Lahti
- Length: 5 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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For decades, actress and director Christine Lahti has captivated the hearts and minds of her audience through iconic roles in Chicago Hope, Running on Empty, Housekeeping, And Justice for All, Swing Shift, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, God of Carnage, and The Blacklist. Now, in True Stories from an Unreliable Eyewitness, this acclaimed performer channels her creativity inward to share her own story for the first time.
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Christine Lahti, Actress, Activist and A+ Author!
- By L. Cat Schultz on 10-26-18
By: Christine Lahti
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Mud Vein
- By: Tarryn Fisher
- Narrated by: Simone Lewis
- Length: 10 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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When reclusive novelist Senna Richards wakes up on her 33rd birthday, everything has changed. Caged behind an electrical fence, locked in a house in the middle of the snow, Senna is left to decode the clues to find out why she was taken. If she wants her freedom, she has to take a close look at her past. But, her past has a heartbeat... and her kidnapper is nowhere to be found. With her survival hanging by a thread, Senna soon realizes this is a game. A dangerous one. Only the truth can set her free.
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Raw
- By Cynthia on 09-13-15
By: Tarryn Fisher
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Stranger Here
- How Weight-Loss Surgery Transformed My Body and Messed with My Head
- By: Jen Larsen
- Narrated by: Dani Cervone
- Length: 8 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Stranger Here is the brutally honest, surprisingly hilarious story of one woman's journey from one extreme of the weight spectrum to the other, and of the unexpected emotional chaos it created. Insightful and unsparing in her self-examination, Larsen depicts the exhilarating highs and devastating lows she experienced as a result of her weight loss, the incredible joy of finally beginning to look like the image of herself she's always carried inside her head, and the crushing pain and confusion of feeling like a stranger in her own body after losing the weight that has always defined her.
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Good book with some disappointments
- By Ina Landry on 04-22-18
By: Jen Larsen
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Purple Hearts
- A Novel
- By: Tess Wakefield
- Narrated by: Kyle Mason, Shayna Thibodeaux
- Length: 10 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
Cassie Salazar and Luke Morrow couldn't be more different. Sharp-witted Cassie works nights at a bar in Austin, Texas, to make ends meet while pursuing her dream of becoming a singer/songwriter. Luke is an army trainee, about to ship out for duty, who finds comfort in the unswerving discipline of service. But a chance encounter at Cassie's bar changes the course of both their lives.
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RATING PURPLE HEARTS BOOK VS PURPLE HEARTS MOVIE
- By Rozzy on 02-05-23
By: Tess Wakefield
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Bloom
- Finding Beauty in the Unexpected - A Memoir
- By: Kelle Hampton
- Narrated by: Kelle Hampton
- Length: 6 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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When Kelle Hampton's new daughter was placed in her arms in the delivery room, she knew instantly that something was wrong. As her friends and family celebrated, a terrified Kelle was certain that Nella had Down syndrome - a fear her pediatrician soon confirmed. Yet gradually Kelle embraced the realization that she had been chosen to experience an extraordinary and special gift. With lyrical prose and gorgeous photography, Bloom takes listeners on a wondrous journey through Nella's first year of life.
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Beautiful Story
- By Janelle on 03-10-24
By: Kelle Hampton
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Dancing on Broken Glass
- By: Ka Hancock
- Narrated by: Amy Landon, Zach Villa
- Length: 13 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Story
Lucy Houston and Mickey Chandler probably shouldn't have fallen in love, let alone gotten married. They're both plagued with faulty genes - he has bipolar disorder and she has a ravaging family history of breast cancer. But when their paths cross on the night of Lucy's 21st birthday, sparks fly, and there's no denying their chemistry. Cautious every step of the way, they are determined to make their relationship work-and they put it all in writing. Mickey promises to take his medication. Lucy promises not to blame him for what is beyond his control. He promises honesty.
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wow is all I can say.
- By karen on 10-25-18
By: Ka Hancock
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Marlena
- A Novel
- By: Julie Buntin
- Narrated by: Emma Galvin
- Length: 9 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Story
Everything about 15-year-old Cat's new town in rural Michigan is lonely and off-kilter until she meets her neighbor, the manic, beautiful, pill-popping Marlena. Cat, inexperienced and desperate for connection, is quickly lured into Marlena's orbit by little more than an arched eyebrow and a shake of white-blond hair. As the two girls turn the untamed landscape of their desolate small town into a kind of playground, Cat catalogues a litany of firsts - first drink, first cigarette, first kiss - while Marlena's habits harden and calcify.
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A Brilliant, Agonizing Portrait of a Young Woman
- By Sudi on 06-06-17
By: Julie Buntin
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Love Walked In
- By: Marisa de los Santos
- Narrated by: Jennifer Ikeda
- Length: 11 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Award-winning poet Marisa de los Santos crafts an irresistibly touching debut novel. Love Walked In is a contemporary tale, steeped in nostalgic, cinematic charm, of love in all its forms. Unapologetically idealistic about love, Cornelia Brown appears to catch the break of a lifetime when the dashing Martin Grace, her own personal Cary Grant, comes strolling into her life. But it is Martin's connection to 11-year-old Clare Hobbes that touches Cornelia's heart in ways she never imagined.
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Dreadful audio quality
- By Marenghi on 09-16-11
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After years of hiding her addiction from everyone—stockpiling pills in her Louboutins and elaborately scheduling her withdrawals between PTA meetings, baby showers, and tennis matches—Laura Cathcart Robbins is running out of places to hide. She has learned the hard way that even her high-profile marriage and Hollywood lifestyle can’t protect her from the pain she’s keeping bottled up inside. Facing divorce, the possibility of a custody battle, and the insistent voice of internalized racism that nags at her as a Black woman in a white world, Laura wonders just how much more she can take.
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Kate, born to abusive, drug addicted parents, identifies an inner God voice when she is very young. This voice, and the support of her grandmother, helps her overcome her circumstances instead of falling victim to them. However, as she grows up she finds that the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree, and she discovers that she is an addict herself. Deciding not to go down the path her parents went, she rises above her circumstances again and chooses the path of recovery.
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Point deduction for the recording
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Pick another book
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Disappointed
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As Needed for Pain
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In the vein of Mary Karr’s Lit, Augusten Burroughs’ Dry, and Sarah Hepola’s Blackout, As Needed for Pain is a raw and riveting - and often wryly funny - addiction memoir from one of New York media’s most accomplished editors which explores his never-before-told story of opioid addiction and the drastic impact it had on his life and career.
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As Befuddling as His Addiction
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Using the written word as her witness statement, Jessica Willis Fisher tells a lacerating story of finding her voice after two decades of silence and an unforgettable story of risk and faith.
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"Don't tell" culture exposed
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Fire and Ice
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To meet God, some of us must first walk with the devil. This brutally honest series of events is based on a real-life spiritual awakening of a living man. Listener beware. This book is full of shocking sexual situations, illicit drug use, and Jesus. "Fire and Ice: The Meth Bible" is the authority on the "ice game."
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boring
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We Are the Luckiest
- The Surprising Magic of a Sober Life
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What could possibly be “lucky” about addiction? Absolutely nothing, thought Laura McKowen when drinking brought her to her knees. As she puts it, she “kicked and screamed . . . wishing for something - anything - else” to be her issue. The people who got to drink normally, she thought, were so damn lucky. But in the midst of early sobriety, when no longer able to anesthetize her pain and anxiety, she realized that she was actually the lucky one. Lucky to feel her feelings, live honestly, really be with her daughter, change her legacy.
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Influencer Recovery, Part One
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What listeners say about Blood Orange Night
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Patricia Shaw
- 06-24-22
Powerful!
I couldn’t stop listening! Melissa writes PERFECTLY- her words are gripping and eloquent. I am a nurse and have learned so much from Melissa - I have taken benzodiazepines for anxiety and had NO idea of the danger! I am personally thankful for this masterpiece!
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- vmoy@hotmail.com
- 05-27-23
Important message. But needs serious editing.
This book is about addiction, medically prescribed addiction. But it ends up being so full with adjectives that you lose up in the twirls. Way too many. Hundreds of adjectives and forced “beauty”. The narration is way too corny. Needs serious editing.
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- Shane OMailey
- 09-16-22
A compassionate, sensitive, good mother persevered
This author is passionate, truthful, accurate, & very inspiring. All at once. I recommend this listening session, to anyone.
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- Kindle Customer
- 12-26-23
Raw Memoir
Beautiful writing. I struggled with her perception of people who cross from dependent to addiction.
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- Kurt KC
- 12-24-22
Great insight the dangers of benzodiazepines
I liked the book because it shows how addictive benzodiazepines are, and that many doctors are not aware of this. I listened to this audio book because a coworker took his owe life because of an ignorant doctor prescribed him a strong benzodiazepine sleeping pill. He took it for three month then couldn’t function at work because his tolerance increased and withdrawal started. He tried to tapper,but this put him in bed for 3 month until he could take it anymore.
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- Susan C
- 02-24-24
Strength and courage
Thank you for sharing your story. You are a hero and an inspiration to many.
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- Yoko Bewick
- 02-25-24
Must read for everyone.
As a person who has been prescribed Benzos, I was shaken to my core. I had no clue how dangerous these "perfectly safe" little pills are. So many of my symptoms have started making sense. this should be shared in all school curriculums.
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- Charlotte
- 06-08-23
Compelling memoir of nightmare drug dependence
The author bravely chronicles the effects of benzodiazepine dependence. Her doctors were irresponsible to say the least. The writing and narration are stronger as the story proceeds. You won’t forget this book. You will be grateful that Melissa Bond is struggling to share her nightmare.
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- C Concord
- 03-17-24
Poignant and Eye Opening Minor Spoilers
Although there were a few minor points I found annoying, this is absolutely worth a listen. The beginning is a bit slow but I think that's to demonstrate how devastating it was for Melissa to lose her job. I also find it surprising/annoying that one of her best friends is a psychiatrist yet she doesn't ask his opinion about the med/class of meds. I get the impression there are a few things probably kept out of the memoir for the flow.
The author is criticized for her portrayal of her husband. I understand the sentiment because she does come across harsh. This isn't an objective biography, it's a memoir and by definition it's pretty much going to be biased.
The author is self centered but again, it's her truth. I also think most people with substance use disorders are self centered.
Well written, albeit a little overwritten at times. The information is overwhelming and although I am aware of the dangers of long term benzodiazepine use, I had no idea the extent of the life altering changes. I am going to do a bit of fact checking and not rely 100% on the author's research but I am grateful to have a glimpse into her experience.
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- Teresa
- 03-27-24
A Must Read
I had no idea the incredible effects of these drugs that we, people, take without worry. We so want to “feel better”… she is an extraordinary writer and we are lucky to have this memoir.
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