The Hotel Avocado
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Narrated by:
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Bob Mortimer
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Sally Phillips
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Paul Whitehouse
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Julie Maisey
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By:
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Bob Mortimer
About this listen
CHOSEN BY WATERSTONES AS ONE OF THEIR BEST CRIME & THRILLER BOOKS OF 2024
'As a comedian, Bob Mortimer spins a shaggy-dog story like nobody else, and this is a rollicking old-school yarn' The Guardian
‘Mortimer’s verbal specificity and off-kilter humour will keep his fans chuckling’ The Times
WARNING - this book includes: heavy crimes, car journeys, dreadfulness, large fruits, romance, planning applications, and a lot of pie.
Gary Thorn is struggling with a big decision. Should he stay in London, wallowing in the safety of his legal job in Peckham and eating pies with his next door neighbour, Grace and her dog Lassoo, or should he move to Brighton, where his girlfriend Emily is about to open The Hotel Avocado? Either way, he’d be letting someone down.
But sinister forces are gathering in a cloud of launderette scented-vape smoke, and the arrival of the mysterious Mr Sequence puts Gary in an even worse predicament: soon he might be dead.
All Gary wants is a happy life. But he also wants to be alive to enjoy it…
THE HILARIOUS AND GRIPPING NEW NOVEL BY NUMBER ONE BESTSELLING AUTHOR BOB MORTIMER
‘Sweet and funny’ Closer
‘A stunning sequel… It’s genuinely difficult to put this book down – you’ll be entranced by Mortimer’s humour and obvious story-telling skills’ Press Association
‘Characters are layered with carefully observed detail and a huge serving of hilarity’ Heat©2024 Bob Mortimer (P)2024 Simon & Schuster UK
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Jenny sits in the same seat on the same train every week, seeing familiar faces come and go. Until a chance encounter shatters her world. Sixteen years ago, Jenny survived a traumatic ordeal that left her best friend, Susie, missing and presumed dead. The world has its theories about what happened to Susie Patterson, and one of those theories points the finger at Jenny. Now she lives a quiet life, volunteering at a crisis helpline while trying to deal with her own anxiety and the true crime fans obsessed with finding her missing friend.
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Too long
- By Anonymous User on 11-15-24
By: Sarah A. Denzil
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George Orwell’s 1984
- An Audible Original adaptation
- By: George Orwell, Joe White - adaptation
- Narrated by: Andrew Garfield, Cynthia Erivo, Andrew Scott, and others
- Length: 3 hrs and 27 mins
- Original Recording
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It’s 1984, and life has changed beyond recognition. Airstrip One, formerly known as Great Britain, is a place where Big Brother is always watching, and nobody can hide. Except, perhaps, for Winston Smith. Whilst working at the Ministry of Truth, rewriting history, he secretly dreams of freedom. And in a world where love and sex are forbidden, where it’s hard to distinguish between friend and foe, he meets Julia and O’Brien and vows to rebel.
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A Revelation!
- By wotsallthisthen on 04-07-24
By: George Orwell, and others
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The Teacher's Lie
- By: Brid Cummings
- Narrated by: Mia Wasikowska
- Length: 10 hrs and 35 mins
- Original Recording
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It’s been two years since Anna Cartwright’s life fell apart. During her first school trip as a young teacher, a student went missing and was never found. Not only was her career ruined, she was also accused of having an affair with fellow teacher and prime suspect Graham. Facing questions from journalists, police and family, Anna said she didn’t know what happened. She was lying. Now, Anna has returned to Australia. Her only hope is Land’s End Area School, an isolated concrete wasteland perched on the cliffs.
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SLO-o-o-w
- By Karen M on 11-27-24
By: Brid Cummings
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7 Hours to Die
- By: James Patterson, Duane Swierczynski
- Narrated by: Sarah Paulson, Patina Miller, Mel Rodriguez, and others
- Length: 2 hrs and 25 mins
- Original Recording
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Kidnappers grabbed Jenna in broad daylight, right in front of her children and their horrified classmates. Her family was issued an insane ransom demand: $25 million in cash and jewels, payable by the end of the school day, otherwise they’ll never see her again. As Jenna’s mother scrambles to gather the money, detectives Mo Butler and George Ortega follow the trail of the kidnappers, which will lead them through a sordid landscape of jealous lovers, broken dreamers, and twisted schemers. But every second counts, and there’s one thing Jenna Wade doesn’t have: very much time.
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This was such a fun Quick listen
- By Mdc on 10-08-24
By: James Patterson, and others
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He's Gone
- By: Rebecca Collomosse
- Narrated by: Victoria Blunt, Cicely Whitehead, Joe Eyre
- Length: 10 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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My fiancé brought me tea and scrambled eggs in bed that morning, and we snuggled together, talking about buying our rings, and about our perfect wedding next year. Then we headed into town. He held my hand and gazed at the ring I liked best, a smile spreading slowly over his face. Then a glass of bubbly to celebrate. I felt flushed, excited and ready for the rest of my life with the man I loved. We race to get on the train home. It screams to a halt and I run towards its open doors. Made it. I think he’s right behind me — but when I turn around, he’s gone.
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Disappointing plot
- By TerriSweeta on 12-04-24
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Artemis
- By: Andy Weir
- Narrated by: Rosario Dawson
- Length: 8 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Jazz Bashara is a criminal. Well, sort of. Life on Artemis, the first and only city on the moon, is tough if you're not a rich tourist or an eccentric billionaire. So smuggling in the occasional harmless bit of contraband barely counts, right? Not when you've got debts to pay and your job as a porter barely covers the rent. Everything changes when Jazz sees the chance to commit the perfect crime, with a reward too lucrative to turn down.
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A ferrari with no motor
- By will on 11-18-17
By: Andy Weir
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The Mysterious Affair at Styles
- By: Agatha Christie, Anna Lea - adaptation
- Narrated by: Peter Dinklage, Himesh Patel, Harriet Walter, and others
- Length: 3 hrs and 53 mins
- Original Recording
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England, 1914. The world is at war. Captain Hastings, injured and shaken, is invited to Styles Court to recover. It’s a grand old country house - the family home of his old friend - and a perfect haven. Or so it seems. But in the blistering summer heat, trouble is afoot. Simmering tensions are tearing the family apart, and it all comes to a head in the most horrifying way.
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It’s a perfect audible movie!
- By Malissa Caudell on 11-15-24
By: Agatha Christie, and others
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Do You Remember?
- By: Freida McFadden
- Narrated by: Teri Schnaubelt
- Length: 7 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Tess Strebel can’t recognize her own face. She can’t recognize her home. Her bedroom is unfamiliar. And she can’t remember the handsome stranger lying next to her in bed. A stranger who claims he’s her husband. Tess reads a letter in her own handwriting, composed during a rare lucid day, explaining her life as it now exists: she was in a terrible car accident one year ago. Every morning, she wakes up unable to remember most of the last decade. Including her own wedding.
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Eh
- By Zoe on 03-16-24
By: Freida McFadden
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Gary Thorn goes for a pint with a work acquaintance called Brendan. When Brendan leaves early, Gary meets a girl in the pub. He doesn’t catch her name, but falls for her anyway. When she suddenly disappears without saying goodbye, all Gary has to remember her by is the book she was reading: The Satsuma Complex. But when Brendan goes missing, Gary needs to track down the girl he now calls Satsuma to get some answers. And so begins Gary’s quest, through the estates and pie shops of South London, to finally bring some love and excitement into his unremarkable life.
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Great Mortimer, mediocre story
- By Tim on 11-06-23
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Great characters!
- By Natalie Stevens on 02-19-24
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And Away...
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Bob Mortimer’s life was trundling along happily until suddenly in 2015 he was diagnosed with a heart condition that required immediate surgery and forced him to cancel an upcoming tour. The episode unnerved him but forced him to reflect on his life so far. This is the framework for his hilarious and moving memoir, And Away....
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Why censor an autobiography? Please don’t do that.
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Mortimer & Whitehouse: Gone Fishing
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Bob Mortimer and Paul Whitehouse have been friends for 30 years, but when life intervened, what was once a joyous and spontaneous friendship dwindled to the odd phone call or occasional catch up. Then, Glory Be! They were both diagnosed with heart disease and realised that time is short. They'd better spend it fishing.... So they dusted off their kits, chucked on their waders and ventured into the achingly beautiful British countryside to fish, rediscover the joys of their friendship and ruminate on some of life's most profound questions, such as: How did we get so old?
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It's a Book That I Hoped Would Never End!
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The morning after a ferocious storm, the body of a vulnerable teenage girl is found in the woods. The police are under pressure to find the killer and solve the tragedy but with thin evidence and no witnesses, the case is falling apart. Desperate to find this vicious murderer, they hunt high and low and eventually find their man: an outsider with no alibi. When the suspect confesses to the crime, it’s an open and shut case. But two women suspect foul play and dedicate their lives to working out what really happened, at all costs.
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Cynical manipulation and evil
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Mack the Life
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Where do comedians come from? Why is it that one person is a funny bloke down the pub while another actually makes a living by standing up in front of an audience telling jokes? And where does all that material come from? Well, young Lee McKillop used to wonder that too. Growing up in his parents’ pub, small and wiry in a world of bigger and chunkier specimens, Lee quickly learned that cracking jokes was a way to get attention.
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Very average. It has little of his brilliant wit.
- By Dinesh J on 05-22-24
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Gary Thorn goes for a pint with a work acquaintance called Brendan. When Brendan leaves early, Gary meets a girl in the pub. He doesn’t catch her name, but falls for her anyway. When she suddenly disappears without saying goodbye, all Gary has to remember her by is the book she was reading: The Satsuma Complex. But when Brendan goes missing, Gary needs to track down the girl he now calls Satsuma to get some answers. And so begins Gary’s quest, through the estates and pie shops of South London, to finally bring some love and excitement into his unremarkable life.
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Great Mortimer, mediocre story
- By Tim on 11-06-23
By: Bob Mortimer
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The Clementine Complex
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Unremarkable legal assistant Gary Thorn goes for a pint with his coworker Brendan, unaware his life is about to change. There, Gary meets a beautiful woman, but she leaves before he catches her name. All he has to remember her by is the title of the book she was reading: The Clementine Complex. And when Brendan goes missing, too, Gary needs to track down the girl he now calls Clementine to get some answers. And so begins Gary’s quest, through the estates and pie shops of South London, to find some answers and hopefully, some love and excitement.
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Great characters!
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And Away...
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Why censor an autobiography? Please don’t do that.
- By Paul B on 02-07-22
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Bob Mortimer and Paul Whitehouse have been friends for 30 years, but when life intervened, what was once a joyous and spontaneous friendship dwindled to the odd phone call or occasional catch up. Then, Glory Be! They were both diagnosed with heart disease and realised that time is short. They'd better spend it fishing.... So they dusted off their kits, chucked on their waders and ventured into the achingly beautiful British countryside to fish, rediscover the joys of their friendship and ruminate on some of life's most profound questions, such as: How did we get so old?
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-
It's a Book That I Hoped Would Never End!
- By MJCLAXDEN on 01-12-23
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Maybe Tomorrow
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The morning after a ferocious storm, the body of a vulnerable teenage girl is found in the woods. The police are under pressure to find the killer and solve the tragedy but with thin evidence and no witnesses, the case is falling apart. Desperate to find this vicious murderer, they hunt high and low and eventually find their man: an outsider with no alibi. When the suspect confesses to the crime, it’s an open and shut case. But two women suspect foul play and dedicate their lives to working out what really happened, at all costs.
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Cynical manipulation and evil
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By: Michael Wood
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Mack the Life
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Very average. It has little of his brilliant wit.
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The Accidental Joe
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When the CIA approaches celebrity chef Sebastian Pike about using his award-winning food and culture travel show as cover for espionage, the outspoken bad-boy host says no. They push. They'd embed their top agent in his crew to do the spy work. And when romantic sparks crackle between him and the female agent, Pike's all in, kicking off a romantic spy thriller in which the globetrotting celebrity chef uses his TV series to help sneak Putin's accountant out of Russia before he's exposed as a mole.
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A great ride!
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Who We Are
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Judge, senator, and activist. Father, grandfather, and friend. This is Murray Sinclair’s story—and the story of a nation—in his own words, an oral history that forgoes the trappings of the traditionally written memoir to center Indigenous ways of knowledge and storytelling. As Canada moves forward into the future of Reconciliation, one of its greatest leaders guides us to ask the most important and difficult question we can ask of ourselves: Who are we?
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Required reading for all Canadians
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By: Murray Sinclair, and others
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The Girl with No Reflection
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Princess Ying Yue believed in love...once upon a time. Yet when she’s chosen to wed the crown prince, Ying’s dreams of a fairy tale marriage quickly fall apart. Her husband-to-be is cold and indifferent, confining Ying to her room for reasons he won’t explain. Worse still are the rumors that swirl around the imperial palace: whispers of seven other royal brides who, after their own weddings, mysteriously disappeared. Left alone with only her own reflection for company, Ying begins to see things. Strange things.
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clunky
- By Item arrived shattered in box. on 09-24-24
By: Keshe Chow
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Weirdo
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Deep in Essex and her own thoughts, Sophie had a feeling something was going to happen and then it did. Chris has entered the pub and re-entered her life after Sophie had finally stopped thinking about him and regretting what she'd done. Sophie has a chance at creating a new ending and paying off her emotional debts (if not her financial ones). All she has to do is act exactly like a normal, well-adjusted person and not say any of her inner monologue out loud. If she can suppress her paranoia, pornographic visualisations and lying maybe she'll even end up getting the guy she wants?
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Where's the comedy?
- By WCombs on 01-26-24
By: Sara Pascoe
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Unfinished Business
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Sri Lanka, 2009. Decades of civil war and bloodshed are being brought to an end at last – by any means necessary. In the capital, Colombo, tenacious journalist Ameena Fernando is murdered, execution-style, on a busy street near her home, with no witnesses. With pressure growing to find Ameena’s killers, CIA agent Ellie Harper is sent to seek justice for the journalist’s death with strict instructions: Find something, but not too much. It’s her first time returning to the island after her last mission went tragically awry four years prior, and Ellie has more than one ghost to lay to rest.
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Fantastic
- By Bella on 03-25-24
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Precipice
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In London, twenty-six-year-old Venetia Stanley—aristocratic, clever, bored, reckless—is part of a fast group of upper-crust bohemians and socialites known as “The Coterie.” She’s also engaged in a clandestine love affair with the Prime Minister, H. H. Asquith, a man more than twice her age. He writes to her obsessively, sharing the most sensitive matters of state.
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Superb!
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By: Robert Harris
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Small Man in a Book
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Story
Who is the man behind the many voices of Rob Brydon? Read by the man himself, this audiobook memoir will reveal the warm heart behind one of Britain's favourite impressionists. A multi-award-winning actor, writer, comedian and presenter known for his warmth, humour and inspired impressions, Rob Brydon has quickly become one of our very favourite entertainers.
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Funny and Interesting
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How We Fish
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Overall
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Performance
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Paul Whitehouse and John Bailey have been devout fishermen for longer than they care to remember. A hobby, past time or sport – call it what you want – they have felt the pull of the water ever since they were kids and have never missed the chance to set up on the bank and try their luck. In this wonderful book, the two fishermen collaborate to celebrate the rich tapestry that is fishing – from mentors to memories; from philosophy to modern jargon; from watercraft to becoming self-styled ‘Fishing Detectives’.
By: Paul Whitehouse, and others
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Anything Could Happen
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
For Lara and her daughter Eliza, it has always been just the two of them. But when Eliza turns 18 and wants to connect with her father, Lara is forced to admit a secret that she has been keeping from her daughter her whole life. Eliza needs answers - and so does Lara. Their journey to the truth will take them on a road trip across England and eventually to New York, where it all began. Dreams might have been broken and opportunities missed... but there are still surprises in store.
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Just great writing
- By Leisha on 12-24-23
By: Lucy Diamond
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The Fallen
- A DCI Matilda Darke Short Story
- By: Michael Wood
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- Length: 2 hrs and 18 mins
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Story
It’s Christmas in Sheffield. But not everyone is enjoying the festive season. A man has been found brutally murdered in his own home. The victim is Iain Kilbride, a once-famous TV star who has faded into obscurity. All signs point to a break-in, but why has nothing been taken? For DCI Matilda Darke, this is the perfect chance to prove her newly formed Murder Investigation Team are up to the task. Matilda suspects the clue to finding the killer lies in Iain’s past, but she’s about to discover how dark that past really is....
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Finally! A exceptional choice to a new detective series.
- By Karenique on 07-08-19
By: Michael Wood
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Caledonian Road
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- By: Andrew O'Hagan
- Narrated by: Michael Abubakar
- Length: 22 hrs and 51 mins
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Campbell Flynn, art historian, professor, and fêted fixture of the literati, always knew that when his life came crashing down, it would happen in public—yet he never imagined that a single year in London would expose so much. He’s never taken other people half as seriously as they take themselves, which is the first of his mistakes. The second is a new project: opportunistic and precisely calibrated to rake in a fortune.
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The best audiobook I have ever listened to
- By Samuel Barker on 07-31-24
By: Andrew O'Hagan
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In the Hands of Men
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- By: Gin Sexsmith
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- Length: 12 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Haunted by the loss of her cousin, Delilah has curated a world of revenge—playing judge, jury and executioner while, you know, searching for love. Maybe murdering gives her the control she craves. Maybe it fills the gaping hole that Cedar left when she disappeared. Maybe this rage is ancestral, dating back to all of the Indigenous women before her whose cases were closed without much of a search.
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Loved it!
- By Cynde on 08-18-24
By: Gin Sexsmith
What listeners say about The Hotel Avocado
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Bing Ju
- 10-02-24
Best sequel ever
Really enjoyable experience, waiting for new books from Bob, either on Gary advantures or new characters!
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- Amazon Customer
- 09-03-24
Mortimer does it again!
this is simply a delightful story. Bob Mortimer is a wonderful storyteller and his characters just come alive. it's a good mystery and I enjoyed every listening minute.
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- Chelsea Monday
- 09-16-24
Mortimer's language is unusual and amazing
Just like the first book in the series, the great thing isn't necessarily the plot, but rather Bob Mortimer's wonderful language and odd phrases. I really liked that there were several narrators.
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- Lisa Wilberding
- 09-02-24
Out of Bob’s beautiful brain!
It was lovely - quick paced and a wonderful distraction from news and politics. It was such a delight to check in on Gary & Emily, Grace and Wayne. The sad bit is that now I shall have to wait, and hope, for a 3rd book!
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- Richard
- 09-28-24
New approach
The characters in this novel are easy to relate to. The approach of ordinary day to day life thrown into turmoil is quietly exciting
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- Jean Ogg
- 12-07-24
Even Better Than The First One!
Another highly enjoyable adventure for Bob Mortimer’s quirky but loveable characters. Excellent job having the parts read by different people, too. Hope this one wins another Wodehouse Bollinger Prize!
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- Amazon Customer
- 10-30-24
Loved the subtle humor
I loved the book from start to finish. Excellent narrators, unusual story, fast paced, surprising, topped by subtle sometimes black humor, that made me lough out loud. I definitely recommend.
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- Anonymous User
- 09-27-24
Fun Sequel
Fantastic audiobook! The audio quality is stunning. Bravo! Very enjoyable performances. This is a fun & amusing sequel with wonderful characters.
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