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The Hotel Avocado
- Narrated by: Bob Mortimer, Sally Phillips, Paul Whitehouse, Julie Maisey
- Length: 9 hrs and 20 mins
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Publisher's summary
CHOSEN BY WATERSTONES AS ONE OF THEIR BEST CRIME & THRILLER BOOKS OF 2024
'As a comedian, Bob Mortimer spins a shaggy-dog story like nobody else, and this is a rollicking old-school yarn' The Guardian
‘Mortimer’s verbal specificity and off-kilter humour will keep his fans chuckling’ The Times
WARNING - this book includes: heavy crimes, car journeys, dreadfulness, large fruits, romance, planning applications, and a lot of pie.
Gary Thorn is struggling with a big decision. Should he stay in London, wallowing in the safety of his legal job in Peckham and eating pies with his next door neighbour, Grace and her dog Lassoo, or should he move to Brighton, where his girlfriend Emily is about to open The Hotel Avocado? Either way, he’d be letting someone down.
But sinister forces are gathering in a cloud of launderette scented-vape smoke, and the arrival of the mysterious Mr Sequence puts Gary in an even worse predicament: soon he might be dead.
All Gary wants is a happy life. But he also wants to be alive to enjoy it…
THE HILARIOUS AND GRIPPING NEW NOVEL BY NUMBER ONE BESTSELLING AUTHOR BOB MORTIMER
‘Sweet and funny’ Closer
‘A stunning sequel… It’s genuinely difficult to put this book down – you’ll be entranced by Mortimer’s humour and obvious story-telling skills’ Press Association
‘Characters are layered with carefully observed detail and a huge serving of hilarity’ Heat
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Cassie thinks she has met the perfect man. Joel is sweet, handsome, romantic, and best of all, he’s crazy about Cassie. She thinks she’s found the guy she’ll spend the rest of her life with. Have children with. Grow old with. Yes, she knows about his perfect ex-girlfriend, Francesca. The beautiful, brilliant chef, beloved by all his friends. But she thinks Francesca is out of the picture. She thinks Francesca is gone for good. Think again, Cassie.
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Too bizarre for someone who loves bizarre
- By G. C. Webster on 07-01-22
By: Freida McFadden
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George Orwell’s 1984
- An Audible Original adaptation
- By: George Orwell, Joe White - adaptation
- Narrated by: Andrew Garfield, Cynthia Erivo, Andrew Scott, and others
- Length: 3 hrs and 27 mins
- Original Recording
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It’s 1984, and life has changed beyond recognition. Airstrip One, formerly known as Great Britain, is a place where Big Brother is always watching, and nobody can hide. Except, perhaps, for Winston Smith. Whilst working at the Ministry of Truth, rewriting history, he secretly dreams of freedom. And in a world where love and sex are forbidden, where it’s hard to distinguish between friend and foe, he meets Julia and O’Brien and vows to rebel.
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A Revelation!
- By wotsallthisthen on 04-07-24
By: George Orwell, and others
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The Woman in Coach D
- By: Sarah A. Denzil
- Narrated by: Katie Clarkson-Hill
- Length: 11 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
Jenny sits in the same seat on the same train every week, seeing familiar faces come and go. Until a chance encounter shatters her world. Sixteen years ago, Jenny survived a traumatic ordeal that left her best friend, Susie, missing and presumed dead. The world has its theories about what happened to Susie Patterson, and one of those theories points the finger at Jenny. Now she lives a quiet life, volunteering at a crisis helpline while trying to deal with her own anxiety and the true crime fans obsessed with finding her missing friend.
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Awesome
- By Anonymous User on 10-27-24
By: Sarah A. Denzil
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Artemis
- By: Andy Weir
- Narrated by: Rosario Dawson
- Length: 8 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
Jazz Bashara is a criminal. Well, sort of. Life on Artemis, the first and only city on the moon, is tough if you're not a rich tourist or an eccentric billionaire. So smuggling in the occasional harmless bit of contraband barely counts, right? Not when you've got debts to pay and your job as a porter barely covers the rent. Everything changes when Jazz sees the chance to commit the perfect crime, with a reward too lucrative to turn down.
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A ferrari with no motor
- By will on 11-18-17
By: Andy Weir
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Mad Love
- By: Wendy Walker
- Narrated by: Julia Whelan, Alexis Bledel, Renée Elise Goldsberry, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 11 mins
- Original Recording
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Story
They were madly in love. The perfect couple. That was the story everyone in South River believed...until Gin Talcott and Adam Archer are found shot in their bed. Adam is dead at the scene. Gin is fighting for her life. Detectives Greta Jessup and Finn Pate are assigned to the case. Greta has a long history with Gin’s first husband, Eddie, and is determined to protect his 18-year-old twins. Piper discovered the bodies. Daniel is missing—and so is Adam’s gun.
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Surprised
- By marcie on 05-25-24
By: Wendy Walker
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Too Late
- Definitive Edition
- By: Colleen Hoover
- Narrated by: Ryan Gray, Maxine Mitchell, Joe Arden
- Length: 10 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Sloan will go through hell and back for those she loves. And she does so, every single day. Caught up with the alluring Asa Jackson, a notorious drug trafficker, Sloan has finally found a lifeline to cling to, even if it’s meant compromising her morals. She was in dire straits trying to pay for her brother’s care until she met Asa. But as Sloan became emotionally and economically reliant on him, he in turn developed a disturbing obsession with her—one that becomes increasingly dangerous every day.
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Triggering and poor narration
- By Katherine Epperson on 07-11-23
By: Colleen Hoover
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Do You Remember?
- By: Freida McFadden
- Narrated by: Teri Schnaubelt
- Length: 7 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Story
Tess Strebel can’t recognize her own face. She can’t recognize her home. Her bedroom is unfamiliar. And she can’t remember the handsome stranger lying next to her in bed. A stranger who claims he’s her husband. Tess reads a letter in her own handwriting, composed during a rare lucid day, explaining her life as it now exists: she was in a terrible car accident one year ago. Every morning, she wakes up unable to remember most of the last decade. Including her own wedding.
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Eh
- By Zoe on 03-16-24
By: Freida McFadden
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Brain Damage
- By: Freida McFadden
- Narrated by: Megan Tusing
- Length: 9 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
As Charly struggles to recover from her brain injury, she begins to realize that the events of that fateful night are trapped in the damaged right side of her brain. Now, she must put the jigsaw pieces together to discover the identity of the man who tried to kill her...before he finishes the job he started.
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Who Else Laughed, Cried, and Shuddered?
- By Jennifer Chichester on 09-16-22
By: Freida McFadden
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Great Mortimer, mediocre story
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Great characters!
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And Away...
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Why censor an autobiography? Please don’t do that.
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It's a Book That I Hoped Would Never End!
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Princess Ying Yue believed in love...once upon a time. Yet when she’s chosen to wed the crown prince, Ying’s dreams of a fairy tale marriage quickly fall apart. Her husband-to-be is cold and indifferent, confining Ying to her room for reasons he won’t explain. Worse still are the rumors that swirl around the imperial palace: whispers of seven other royal brides who, after their own weddings, mysteriously disappeared. Left alone with only her own reflection for company, Ying begins to see things. Strange things.
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clunky
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Maybe Tomorrow
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The morning after a ferocious storm, the body of a vulnerable teenage girl is found in the woods. The police are under pressure to find the killer and solve the tragedy but with thin evidence and no witnesses, the case is falling apart. Desperate to find this vicious murderer, they hunt high and low and eventually find their man: an outsider with no alibi. When the suspect confesses to the crime, it’s an open and shut case. But two women suspect foul play and dedicate their lives to working out what really happened, at all costs.
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Cynical manipulation and evil
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Gary Thorn goes for a pint with a work acquaintance called Brendan. When Brendan leaves early, Gary meets a girl in the pub. He doesn’t catch her name, but falls for her anyway. When she suddenly disappears without saying goodbye, all Gary has to remember her by is the book she was reading: The Satsuma Complex. But when Brendan goes missing, Gary needs to track down the girl he now calls Satsuma to get some answers. And so begins Gary’s quest, through the estates and pie shops of South London, to finally bring some love and excitement into his unremarkable life.
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Great Mortimer, mediocre story
- By Tim on 11-06-23
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Unremarkable legal assistant Gary Thorn goes for a pint with his coworker Brendan, unaware his life is about to change. There, Gary meets a beautiful woman, but she leaves before he catches her name. All he has to remember her by is the title of the book she was reading: The Clementine Complex. And when Brendan goes missing, too, Gary needs to track down the girl he now calls Clementine to get some answers. And so begins Gary’s quest, through the estates and pie shops of South London, to find some answers and hopefully, some love and excitement.
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Great characters!
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And Away...
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Bob Mortimer and Paul Whitehouse have been friends for 30 years, but when life intervened, what was once a joyous and spontaneous friendship dwindled to the odd phone call or occasional catch up. Then, Glory Be! They were both diagnosed with heart disease and realised that time is short. They'd better spend it fishing.... So they dusted off their kits, chucked on their waders and ventured into the achingly beautiful British countryside to fish, rediscover the joys of their friendship and ruminate on some of life's most profound questions, such as: How did we get so old?
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It's a Book That I Hoped Would Never End!
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clunky
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I became obsessed with mum hacks when a friend showed me a game-changing tip during my baby days - that baby vests can be pulled down (not up) in the event of an explosive poo. I couldn't believe I had been a mum for so long and not known! Things I Wish I'd Known will bring you hundreds of quick and clever solutions, just like this, all to make the parenting juggle easier.
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The Cut
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Welcome to Barton Mallet, a remote village in the Midlands that has been chosen as the unlikely location for a new feature film from Hollywood producer Max Crow. Teenagers from the local drama group are encouraged to audition for a story about the trials and tribulations of growing up. Benjamin Knot, the CEO of a well-known architecture firm, discovers that his children, Lily and Nathan, have each been offered a role. But Barton Mallet has a deep wound that has never truly healed.
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Hard to get into
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House of Glass
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A young nanny who plunged to her death, or was she pushed? A nine-year-old girl who collects sharp objects and refuses to speak. A lawyer whose job it is to uncover who in the family is a victim and who is a murderer. But how can you find out the truth when everyone here is lying? Rose Barclay is a nine-year-old girl who witnessed the possible murder of her nanny—in the midst of her parent's bitter divorce—and immediately stopped speaking.
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Narration ruined what might have been
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The Margate Murders
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A fictional true crime podcast starring BAFTA Award winner Sheridan Smith (Mrs Biggs, Cilla) and Golden Globe winner Joanne Froggatt (Downton Abbey), THE MARGATE MURDERS follows the hunt for an elusive serial killer who murders once every decade, and then changes his identity. In a story full of shocking twists and turns, a journalist, a survivor, a witness, a detective and a forensic psychologist are all interviewed for their perspective on the what went right, and what went horribly wrong, in the hunt for a killer. But everyone has their own agenda, and maybe even something to hide…
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Excellent writing
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Theo and Kit have been a lot of things: childhood best friends, crushes, in love, and now estranged exes. After a brutal breakup on the transatlantic flight to their dream European food and wine tour, they exited each other's lives once and for all. Time apart has done them good. Theo has found confidence as a hustling bartender by night and aspiring sommelier by day, with a long roster of casual lovers. Kit, who never returned to America, graduated as the reigning sex god of his pastry school class and now bakes at one of the finest restaurants in Paris.
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Disappointed but ok
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Worst Case Scenario
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When a pilot suffers a heart attack at 35,000 feet, a commercial airliner filled with passengers crashes into a nuclear power plant in the small town of Waketa, Minnesota, which becomes ground zero for a catastrophic national crisis with global implications. The International Nuclear Event Scale tracks nuclear disasters. It has seven levels. Level 7 is a Major Accident, with only two on record: Fukushima and Chernobyl. There has never been a Level 8. Until now.
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Just awesome
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Laura Benanti: Nobody Cares
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As a precocious kid who took Broadway by storm at the age of 18, Laura Benanti spent her formative years playing grown-ups onstage, but it took her a while to figure out how to be one in real life. With her razor-sharp wit and unapologetic candor, Benanti shares her hard-won insights on topics like marriage, motherhood, perimenopause, female friendship, and making peace with the younger versions of ourselves.
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the best special I've listened in a while
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The Accidental Joe
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When the CIA approaches celebrity chef Sebastian Pike about using his award-winning food and culture travel show as cover for espionage, the outspoken bad-boy host says no. They push. They'd embed their top agent in his crew to do the spy work. And when romantic sparks crackle between him and the female agent, Pike's all in, kicking off a romantic spy thriller in which the globetrotting celebrity chef uses his TV series to help sneak Putin's accountant out of Russia before he's exposed as a mole.
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A great ride!
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The Rabbit Factor
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
What makes life perfect? Insurance mathematician Henri Koskinen knows the answer because he calculates everything down to the last decimal. And then, Henri is faced with the incalculable. After suddenly losing his job, Henri inherits an adventure park from his brother - its troubling financial problems included. The worst of these issues appear to originate from big loans taken from criminal quarters and dangerous men are keen to get their money back. But what Henri really can't compute is love. He meets Laura, an artist with a joie de vivre and erratic lifestyle that bewilders him.
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Very funny
- By ironfrown on 09-28-23
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Precipice
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Story
In London, twenty-six-year-old Venetia Stanley—aristocratic, clever, bored, reckless—is part of a fast group of upper-crust bohemians and socialites known as “The Coterie.” She’s also engaged in a clandestine love affair with the Prime Minister, H. H. Asquith, a man more than twice her age. He writes to her obsessively, sharing the most sensitive matters of state.
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Superb!
- By Christine Silvestri on 10-08-24
By: Robert Harris
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These Girls
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Story
Cate, Renee, and Abby have come to New York for very different reasons, and in a bustling city of millions, they are linked together through circumstance and chance. Cate has just been named the features editor of Gloss, a high-end lifestyle magazine. It's a professional coup, but her new job comes with more complications than Cate ever anticipated.
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Felt like a chore, easily distractible, glad I’m finally finished
- By Nikkierson on 01-28-18
By: Sarah Pekkanen
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Men Have Called Her Crazy
- A Memoir
- By: Anna Marie Tendler
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- Length: 8 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In early 2021, popular artist Anna Marie Tendler checked herself into a psychiatric hospital following a year of crippling anxiety, depression and self-harm. Over two weeks, she underwent myriad psychological tests, participated in numerous therapy sessions, connected with fellow patients and experienced profound breakthroughs, such as when a doctor noted, “There is a you inside that feels invisible to those looking at you from the outside.”
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Felt incomplete
- By Anonymous User on 08-21-24
What listeners say about The Hotel Avocado
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Bing Ju
- 10-02-24
Best sequel ever
Really enjoyable experience, waiting for new books from Bob, either on Gary advantures or new characters!
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- Richard
- 09-28-24
New approach
The characters in this novel are easy to relate to. The approach of ordinary day to day life thrown into turmoil is quietly exciting
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- Amazon Customer
- 09-03-24
Mortimer does it again!
this is simply a delightful story. Bob Mortimer is a wonderful storyteller and his characters just come alive. it's a good mystery and I enjoyed every listening minute.
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- Chelsea Monday
- 09-16-24
Mortimer's language is unusual and amazing
Just like the first book in the series, the great thing isn't necessarily the plot, but rather Bob Mortimer's wonderful language and odd phrases. I really liked that there were several narrators.
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- Lisa Wilberding
- 09-02-24
Out of Bob’s beautiful brain!
It was lovely - quick paced and a wonderful distraction from news and politics. It was such a delight to check in on Gary & Emily, Grace and Wayne. The sad bit is that now I shall have to wait, and hope, for a 3rd book!
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- Amazon Customer
- 10-30-24
Loved the subtle humor
I loved the book from start to finish. Excellent narrators, unusual story, fast paced, surprising, topped by subtle sometimes black humor, that made me lough out loud. I definitely recommend.
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- Anonymous User
- 09-27-24
Fun Sequel
Fantastic audiobook! The audio quality is stunning. Bravo! Very enjoyable performances. This is a fun & amusing sequel with wonderful characters.
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