
The Kid in the Crib
A Dr. Seuss Parody
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wishlist failed.
Adding to library failed
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
$0.99/mo for the first 3 months

Buy for $3.95
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
-
Narrated by:
-
Lex Friedman
-
By:
-
Lex Friedman
About this listen
A children's book for adults in the vein of the mega-best-selling Go the F**k to Sleep, The Kid in the Crib brilliantly reimagines the Dr. Seuss classic The Cat in the Hat for beleaguered parents struggling with the anxieties and challenges of parenting in the 21st century. It substitutes the typical worries, frustrations, and challenges of modern parenting for Seuss's original story about a kindly feline and the children he befriends. It lays out the daily power struggle between parents as they each insist that it's the other one's turn to deal with the befouled diaper, and the bleary-headedness that coincides with an infant's sleeping patterns. Parents will chuckle as they read "The kid spat up white / The kid spat up green / The kid spat up more spit up / Than we'd ever seen."
This pitch-perfect parody paints an honest portrait of parenting that will have moms and dads nodding in recognition and howling with laughter. And it is a story that parents will delight in reading to each other - and even to their kids someday.
©2012 Lex Friedman and Felix Jason Schlater (P)2012 Lex Friedman LLCListeners also enjoyed...
-
I'll Show Myself Out
- Essays on Midlife and Motherhood
- By: Jessi Klein
- Narrated by: Jessi Klein
- Length: 6 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
An instant New York Times bestseller, I'll Show Myself Out is the eagerly anticipated second essay collection from Jessi Klein, author of the acclaimed debut You’ll Grow Out of It.
-
-
Complete sanctimommy navel gaze
- By NJVJ on 05-05-22
By: Jessi Klein
-
January First
- A Child's Descent into Madness and Her Father's Struggle to Save Her
- By: Michael Schofield
- Narrated by: Patrick Lawlor
- Length: 8 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
January First is a brilliant and harrowingly honest memoir. The story of Michael Schofield's daughter January's descent into scizophrenia, and her family's struggle to save her, will fascinate and move listeners. January First is the extraordinary story of a father's fight to save his child from an extremely severe case of mental illness in the face of overwhelming adversity.
-
-
Unusual
- By D. Jacobsen on 06-01-15
-
Finding Grace
- A True Story about Losing Your Way in Life...and Finding It Again
- By: Donna VanLiere
- Narrated by: Donna VanLiere
- Length: 4 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Finding Grace is the powerful, often humorous, and deeply moving story of one woman's journey of broken dreams. It is the story of how a painful legacy of the past is confronted and met with peace. This book is for anyone who has struggled to understand why our desires---even the simplest ones---are sometimes denied or who has questioned where God is when we need Him most. This story is about one woman's unlikely road to motherhood. Finally, it's a book about the "undeserved gift which is life itself."
-
-
Finding Grace... and joy, delight, and camaraderie
- By WeRLoved on 02-02-17
By: Donna VanLiere
-
Tiffany Sly Lives Here Now
- By: Dana L. Davis
- Narrated by: Dana L. Davis
- Length: 9 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
For 16-year-old Tiffany Sly, life hasn’t been safe or normal for a while. Losing her mom to cancer has her a little bit traumatized and now she has to leave her hometown of Chicago to live with the biological dad she’s never known. Anthony Stone is a rich man with four other daughters - and rules for every second of the day. Tiffany tries to make the best of things, but she doesn’t fit into her new luxurious, but super-strict, home - or get along with her standoffish sister London. The only thing that makes her new life even remotely bearable is the strange boy across the street.
-
-
Wonderful Book and New Author
- By erroll on 06-21-18
By: Dana L. Davis
-
Sealed In
- By: Jacqueline Druga
- Narrated by: Andrew Wehrlen
- Length: 5 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Following a distress call from the state police, Dr. Edward Neil and his team from the Centers for Disease Control enter the small town of Hartworth, Montana. Immediately they encounter a man in a pickup truck holding a quarantine post, his body decimated by a disease like they have never seen. The entire town, population a little under 1000... dead. Men, women and children. The unknown germ hit so fast, the town did not stand a chance of survival.
-
-
Anyone who listens to this will become stupider...
- By Christopher Clarke on 05-27-14
By: Jacqueline Druga
-
Of Mice and Me
- By: Mishka Shubaly
- Narrated by: Mishka Shubaly
- Length: 2 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
At 37, writer/musician Mishka Shubaly thought his life was going great. He had a beautiful new girlfriend and sudden prosperity as an author. But when he adopts an orphaned infant mouse, his world is turned on its head. The mouse comes to symbolize everything left unresolved in his life - his relationship with his divorced parents, his fear of family and commitment, and his inability to feel true happiness and love.
-
-
This man is amazing.
- By Robert on 06-09-17
By: Mishka Shubaly
-
I'll Show Myself Out
- Essays on Midlife and Motherhood
- By: Jessi Klein
- Narrated by: Jessi Klein
- Length: 6 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
An instant New York Times bestseller, I'll Show Myself Out is the eagerly anticipated second essay collection from Jessi Klein, author of the acclaimed debut You’ll Grow Out of It.
-
-
Complete sanctimommy navel gaze
- By NJVJ on 05-05-22
By: Jessi Klein
-
January First
- A Child's Descent into Madness and Her Father's Struggle to Save Her
- By: Michael Schofield
- Narrated by: Patrick Lawlor
- Length: 8 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
January First is a brilliant and harrowingly honest memoir. The story of Michael Schofield's daughter January's descent into scizophrenia, and her family's struggle to save her, will fascinate and move listeners. January First is the extraordinary story of a father's fight to save his child from an extremely severe case of mental illness in the face of overwhelming adversity.
-
-
Unusual
- By D. Jacobsen on 06-01-15
-
Finding Grace
- A True Story about Losing Your Way in Life...and Finding It Again
- By: Donna VanLiere
- Narrated by: Donna VanLiere
- Length: 4 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Finding Grace is the powerful, often humorous, and deeply moving story of one woman's journey of broken dreams. It is the story of how a painful legacy of the past is confronted and met with peace. This book is for anyone who has struggled to understand why our desires---even the simplest ones---are sometimes denied or who has questioned where God is when we need Him most. This story is about one woman's unlikely road to motherhood. Finally, it's a book about the "undeserved gift which is life itself."
-
-
Finding Grace... and joy, delight, and camaraderie
- By WeRLoved on 02-02-17
By: Donna VanLiere
-
Tiffany Sly Lives Here Now
- By: Dana L. Davis
- Narrated by: Dana L. Davis
- Length: 9 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
For 16-year-old Tiffany Sly, life hasn’t been safe or normal for a while. Losing her mom to cancer has her a little bit traumatized and now she has to leave her hometown of Chicago to live with the biological dad she’s never known. Anthony Stone is a rich man with four other daughters - and rules for every second of the day. Tiffany tries to make the best of things, but she doesn’t fit into her new luxurious, but super-strict, home - or get along with her standoffish sister London. The only thing that makes her new life even remotely bearable is the strange boy across the street.
-
-
Wonderful Book and New Author
- By erroll on 06-21-18
By: Dana L. Davis
-
Sealed In
- By: Jacqueline Druga
- Narrated by: Andrew Wehrlen
- Length: 5 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Following a distress call from the state police, Dr. Edward Neil and his team from the Centers for Disease Control enter the small town of Hartworth, Montana. Immediately they encounter a man in a pickup truck holding a quarantine post, his body decimated by a disease like they have never seen. The entire town, population a little under 1000... dead. Men, women and children. The unknown germ hit so fast, the town did not stand a chance of survival.
-
-
Anyone who listens to this will become stupider...
- By Christopher Clarke on 05-27-14
By: Jacqueline Druga
-
Of Mice and Me
- By: Mishka Shubaly
- Narrated by: Mishka Shubaly
- Length: 2 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
At 37, writer/musician Mishka Shubaly thought his life was going great. He had a beautiful new girlfriend and sudden prosperity as an author. But when he adopts an orphaned infant mouse, his world is turned on its head. The mouse comes to symbolize everything left unresolved in his life - his relationship with his divorced parents, his fear of family and commitment, and his inability to feel true happiness and love.
-
-
This man is amazing.
- By Robert on 06-09-17
By: Mishka Shubaly
-
The Lucky Few
- Finding God's Best in the Most Unlikely Places
- By: Heather Avis
- Narrated by: Heather Avis
- Length: 5 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
These are the faces that call me "mom", the three children who made me a mother. When I started my journey into parenthood I never thought it would look like this. I never planned on having three adopted children, and I certainly never imagined that two of them would have Down syndrome. But like most of the things God does, once we stepped into the craziness and confusion of the unknown and unplanned, we quickly realized that we were indeed among the lucky few.
-
-
A must read!!
- By JuJu on 06-08-17
By: Heather Avis
-
Letters for Emily
- By: Camron Wright
- Narrated by: Joe Barrett
- Length: 5 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
You are so young. You may wonder what an old man like me could teach? I wonder as well. I certainly don't claim to know all the answers. I'm barely figuring out the questions...Life has a strange way of repeating itself and I want my experience to help you...My hope is that you'll consider my words and remember my heart.
-
-
Fantastic whimsical life lesson-filled story
- By Di's on 10-28-21
By: Camron Wright
-
The Hearts of Men
- By: Travis Hunter
- Narrated by: Ezra Knight
- Length: 9 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Songwriter, poet, and best-selling author Travis Hunter was named Author of the Year by readers of the Atlanta Daily World. In The Hearts of Men, a reformed player, a workaholic trying to overcome his past, and a faithful husband diagnosed with lung cancer all struggle to be the men they hope to be. But life and human frailty have a way of throwing stumbling blocks before the best of intentions.
-
-
Straight To The Hearts of Women
- By Naomi M. Stevens on 06-10-09
By: Travis Hunter
-
The Smallest Part
- By: Amy Harmon
- Narrated by: Almarie Guerra
- Length: 12 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
It was a big lie. The biggest lie she’d ever told. It reverberated through her head as she said it, ringing eerily. “Are you in love with Noah, Mercedes?” Cora asked. “I mean...I know you love him. You’ve been friends forever. We all have. But are you in love with him?” If it had been anyone else - anyone - Mercedes would have stuck out her chest, folded her skinny arms, and let her feelings be known. She would have claimed him. But it was Cora. Brave, beautiful, broken Cora, and Cora loved Noah too. So Mercedes lied. And with that lie, she lost him.
-
-
✫✫ 4 Stars ✫✫
- By ❤️Cyndi Marie❤️🎧Audiobook Addicts🎧 on 09-03-18
By: Amy Harmon
-
How Evan Broke His Head and Other Secrets
- By: Garth Stein
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman
- Length: 13 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Evan had a hit single, but that was 10 years ago. Thirty-one now, hes drifting, playing in a local band and teaching middle-aged men to coax music from an electric guitar. Now, 14 years later, he experiences unplanned parenthood when he undertakes to raise the resentful teenage son hes never known. Off beat and disarming, How Evan Broke His Head and Other Secrets portrays a contemporary American family with unfailing honesty.
-
-
Great narrator of a fine story.
- By Richard Delman on 09-28-18
By: Garth Stein
-
A Necessary End: A Novel
- By: Holly Brown
- Narrated by: Khristine Hvam, James Patrick Cronin
- Length: 12 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
At nineteen Leah bears a remarkable resemblance to the young woman Adrienne once was. Which is why Adrienne knows the baby Leah is carrying is meant to be hers. But Leah's got ideas of her own: Her baby's going to get a life in California; why shouldn't she? All she wants is to live in Adrienne's house for a year after the baby's born and get a fresh start. It seems like a small price for Adrienne to pay to get their baby. And with Gabe suddenly onboard, what could possibly go wrong?
-
-
Long time audible listener.
- By Cherith DuBois on 07-11-15
By: Holly Brown
-
The Sweet Smell of Magnolias and Memories
- By: Celeste Fletcher McHale
- Narrated by: Nan Kelley
- Length: 7 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Jacey and Colin shared the three most intense days of their lives together, waiting for help as Mississippi floodwaters surrounded them. Jacey knew Colin was the love of her life - until her rescue boat went underwater along with Colin's last name and pieces of Jacey's memory. The last thing she remembered was being submerged in water. Again.
-
-
I'm Praying For A Book 2.
- By Loyia T. Lopez on 06-12-18
-
When All Is Said and Prayed
- Forever Diva Series, Book 1
- By: E.N. Joy
- Narrated by: Leanne Thompson
- Length: 8 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
It ain't easy being saved, sanctified, and single. Try being a once divorced, now widowed single mother of two on top of that. Thank God, the Lord built Paige Vanderdale to be able to bear all of those titles without becoming weary to the point of giving up. From the outside looking in, that life looks good on her. On the inside, though, Paige is coveting what so many others around her seem to have, which is true love.
-
-
AWESOME book very interesting
- By Kimberly Watts on 02-04-20
By: E.N. Joy
-
Lifemark
- By: Kendrick Bros. LLC, Chris Fabry
- Narrated by: Chris Fabry
- Length: 8 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Melissa had clung to the thin thread of hope given by the adoption agency that someday her newborn son might want to connect with her. When his eighteenth birthday arrived, she called the agency to simply update her contact information, not expecting a response.
-
-
Simple yet good
- By MommaB on 04-07-25
By: Kendrick Bros. LLC, and others
-
The Weight of Silence
- By: Heather Gudenkauf
- Narrated by: Jim Colby, Eliza Foss, Cassandra Morris, and others
- Length: 10 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
It happens quietly one August morning. As dawn's shimmering light drenches the humid Iowa air, two families awaken to find their little girls have gone missing in the night. Now these families are tied by the question of what happened to their children. And the answer is trapped in the silence of unspoken family secrets.
-
-
A jewel
- By Sara W on 07-17-10
-
Finding Me
- A Decade of Darkness, a Life Reclaimed
- By: Michelle Knight, Michelle Burford
- Narrated by: Maria Cabezas
- Length: 7 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Michelle was a young single mother when she was kidnapped by a local school bus driver named Ariel Castro. For more than a decade afterward, she endured unimaginable torture at the hand of her abductor. In 2003 Amanda Berry joined her in captivity, followed by Gina DeJesus in 2004. Their escape on May 6, 2013, made headlines around the world.
-
-
A True House of Horrors!
- By Courtney on 05-12-14
By: Michelle Knight, and others
-
Sorta Like a Rock Star
- By: Matthew Quick
- Narrated by: Cynthia Holloway
- Length: 6 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Amber Appleton lives in a bus. Ever since her mom’s boyfriend kicked them out, Amber, her mom, and her totally loyal dog, Bobby Big Boy (a.k.a Thrice B), have been camped out in the back of Hello Yellow (the school bus her mom drives). Still, Amber, the self- proclaimed princess of hope and girl of unyielding optimism, refuses to sweat the bad stuff. But when a fatal tragedy threatens Amber’s optimism - and her way of life - can Amber continue to be the rock star of hope?
-
-
After being hooked by Silver Linings playbook.....
- By Brad Zerkel on 04-22-13
By: Matthew Quick