The Millicent Quibb School of Etiquette for Young Ladies of Mad Science
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Narrated by:
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Kate McKinnon
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Emily Lynne
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By:
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Kate McKinnon
About this listen
From beloved Saturday Night Live alum Kate McKinnon comes a madcap new adventure about three sisters, a ravenous worm, and a mysterious mad scientist.
So, you want to be a young mad scientist. Congratulations! Admitting it is the first step. The second step is reading the (definitely true) tale of the Porch sisters…
Gertrude, Eugenia, and Dee-Dee Porch do not belong. They don’t belong in the snooty town of Antiquarium, where all girls have to go to etiquette school and the only dog allowed is the bichon frise. They don’t belong with their adoptive family, where all their cousins are named Lavinia and their Aunt has more brooches than books. And they certainly don’t belong at Mrs. Wintermacher’s etiquette school—they’re far more interested in science. After getting kicked out of the last etiquette school that would take them, the girls expect to be sent away for good... until they receive a mysterious invitation to new school.
Suddenly the girls are under the tutelage of the infamous Millicent Quibb—a mad scientist with worms in her hair and oysters in her bathtub. At 231 Mysterium Way, the pizza is fatal, the bus is powered by Gerbils, and the Dean of Students is a hermit crab. Dangerous? Yes! More fun than they’ve ever had? Absolutely! But when the sisters are asked to save their town from an evil cabal of nefarious mad scientists, they must learn to embrace what has always made them stand out, and determine what side they’re on—before it’s too late!
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
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Heads Will Roll is an Audible Original from Saturday Night Live star Kate McKinnon and her cocreator/costar (and real-life sister) Emily Lynne. Produced by Broadway Video, this is not an audiobook - it’s a 10-episode, star-studded audio comedy that features performances from Meryl Streep, Tim Gunn, Peter Dinklage, Queer Eye’s Fab Five, and so many more. Please note: This content is not for kids.
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More like this please
- By Anon893 on 05-03-19
By: Kate McKinnon, and others
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The Tenth Mistake of Hank Hooperman
- By: Gennifer Choldenko
- Narrated by: Javier Prusky
- Length: 6 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
When eleven-year-old Hank’s mom doesn’t come home, he takes care of his toddler sister, Boo, like he always does. But it’s been a week now. They are out of food and mom has never stayed away this long… Hank knows he needs help, so he and Boo seek out the stranger listed as their emergency contact. But asking for help has consequences. It means social workers, and a new school, and having to answer questions about his mom that he's been trying to keep secret. And if they can't find his mom soon, Hank and Boo may end up in different foster homes—he could lose everything.
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Heart-breaking
- By jannrasp on 06-26-24
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Impossible Creatures
- By: Katherine Rundell
- Narrated by: Samuel West
- Length: 8 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
The day that Christopher saved a drowning baby griffin from a hidden lake would change his life forever. It’s the day he learned about the Archipelago—a cluster of unmapped islands where magical creatures of every kind have thrived for thousands of years, until now. And it’s the day he met Mal—a girl on the run, in desperate need of his help. Mal and Christopher embark on a wild adventure, racing from island to island, searching for someone who can explain why the magic is fading and why magical creatures are suddenly dying.
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A Magical Mystery Tour
- By Amy Talent on 09-20-24
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Wicked Marigold
- By: Caroline Carlson
- Narrated by: Katherine Anderson
- Length: 8 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Princess Marigold—who hadn't yet been born when the remarkable Princess Rosalind was kidnapped—is eleven when the unthinkable happens: her older sister escapes her captivity and comes home. Marigold has always known she's not as good, sweet, or kind as the sister everyone adores, but amid the celebration of Rosalind's return, Marigold realizes something new: if Princess Rosalind is good, then Princess Marigold must be wicked. And there's no place for wickedness in the kingdom. When Marigold tries to find a new place for herself in an evil wizard's fortress, though, the results are disastrous.
By: Caroline Carlson
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The First State of Being
- By: Erin Entrada Kelly
- Narrated by: Ramon de Ocampo
- Length: 5 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
It's August 1999. For twelve-year-old Michael Rosario, life at Fox Run Apartments in Red Knot, Delaware, is as ordinary as ever—except for the looming Y2K crisis and his overwhelming crush on his sixteen-year-old babysitter, Gibby. But when a disoriented teenage boy named Ridge appears out of nowhere, Michael discovers there is more to life than stockpiling supplies and pining over Gibby.
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Great, diverse, very different plot!
- By pamela miller on 04-16-24
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Tale of the Flying Forest
- By: R. M. Romero
- Narrated by: Gail Shalan
- Length: 7 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
After her mother passes away and her father retreats into his grief, 11-year-old Anne Applebaum is afraid the only happy endings she’ll ever have are in The World to Come, a collection of fairy tales about the flying forest of Bei Ilai. In its pages, children outsmart demons, girls train as knights, and songs come to life. But even these stories can’t stop Anne from feeling alone. So when a raven tells her that she has a long-lost twin brother named Rainer, she sets out to find him. Anne soon learns that Bei Ilai is a real place—and she must step through the door into this magical realm.
By: R. M. Romero
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Heads Will Roll
- By: Kate McKinnon, Emily Lynne
- Narrated by: Kate McKinnon, Emily Lynne, Tim Gunn, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 6 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Heads Will Roll is an Audible Original from Saturday Night Live star Kate McKinnon and her cocreator/costar (and real-life sister) Emily Lynne. Produced by Broadway Video, this is not an audiobook - it’s a 10-episode, star-studded audio comedy that features performances from Meryl Streep, Tim Gunn, Peter Dinklage, Queer Eye’s Fab Five, and so many more. Please note: This content is not for kids.
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More like this please
- By Anon893 on 05-03-19
By: Kate McKinnon, and others
-
The Tenth Mistake of Hank Hooperman
- By: Gennifer Choldenko
- Narrated by: Javier Prusky
- Length: 6 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When eleven-year-old Hank’s mom doesn’t come home, he takes care of his toddler sister, Boo, like he always does. But it’s been a week now. They are out of food and mom has never stayed away this long… Hank knows he needs help, so he and Boo seek out the stranger listed as their emergency contact. But asking for help has consequences. It means social workers, and a new school, and having to answer questions about his mom that he's been trying to keep secret. And if they can't find his mom soon, Hank and Boo may end up in different foster homes—he could lose everything.
-
-
Heart-breaking
- By jannrasp on 06-26-24
-
Impossible Creatures
- By: Katherine Rundell
- Narrated by: Samuel West
- Length: 8 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The day that Christopher saved a drowning baby griffin from a hidden lake would change his life forever. It’s the day he learned about the Archipelago—a cluster of unmapped islands where magical creatures of every kind have thrived for thousands of years, until now. And it’s the day he met Mal—a girl on the run, in desperate need of his help. Mal and Christopher embark on a wild adventure, racing from island to island, searching for someone who can explain why the magic is fading and why magical creatures are suddenly dying.
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A Magical Mystery Tour
- By Amy Talent on 09-20-24
-
Wicked Marigold
- By: Caroline Carlson
- Narrated by: Katherine Anderson
- Length: 8 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Princess Marigold—who hadn't yet been born when the remarkable Princess Rosalind was kidnapped—is eleven when the unthinkable happens: her older sister escapes her captivity and comes home. Marigold has always known she's not as good, sweet, or kind as the sister everyone adores, but amid the celebration of Rosalind's return, Marigold realizes something new: if Princess Rosalind is good, then Princess Marigold must be wicked. And there's no place for wickedness in the kingdom. When Marigold tries to find a new place for herself in an evil wizard's fortress, though, the results are disastrous.
By: Caroline Carlson
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The First State of Being
- By: Erin Entrada Kelly
- Narrated by: Ramon de Ocampo
- Length: 5 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
It's August 1999. For twelve-year-old Michael Rosario, life at Fox Run Apartments in Red Knot, Delaware, is as ordinary as ever—except for the looming Y2K crisis and his overwhelming crush on his sixteen-year-old babysitter, Gibby. But when a disoriented teenage boy named Ridge appears out of nowhere, Michael discovers there is more to life than stockpiling supplies and pining over Gibby.
-
-
Great, diverse, very different plot!
- By pamela miller on 04-16-24
-
Tale of the Flying Forest
- By: R. M. Romero
- Narrated by: Gail Shalan
- Length: 7 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
After her mother passes away and her father retreats into his grief, 11-year-old Anne Applebaum is afraid the only happy endings she’ll ever have are in The World to Come, a collection of fairy tales about the flying forest of Bei Ilai. In its pages, children outsmart demons, girls train as knights, and songs come to life. But even these stories can’t stop Anne from feeling alone. So when a raven tells her that she has a long-lost twin brother named Rainer, she sets out to find him. Anne soon learns that Bei Ilai is a real place—and she must step through the door into this magical realm.
By: R. M. Romero
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Mirror to Mirror
- By: Rajani LaRocca
- Narrated by: Rasha Zamamiri, Reena Dutt
- Length: 4 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Maya is the pragmatic twin, but her secret anxiety threatens to overwhelm her. Chaya is the outgoing twin. When she sees her beloved sister suffering, she wants to tell their parents—which makes Maya feel completely betrayed.
By: Rajani LaRocca
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The Bletchley Riddle
- By: Ruta Sepetys, Steve Sheinkin
- Narrated by: Louis Hill, Georgina Jane, Ruta Sepetys, and others
- Length: 9 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Summer, 1940. Nineteen-year-old Jakob Novis and his quirky younger sister Lizzie share a love of riddles and puzzles. And now they’re living inside of one. The quarrelsome siblings find themselves amidst one of the greatest secrets of World War II—Britain’s eccentric codebreaking factory at Bletchley Park. As Jakob joins Bletchley’s top minds to crack the Nazi's Enigma cipher, fourteen-year-old Lizzie embarks on a mission to solve the mysterious disappearance of their mother.
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A Great Novel that Keeps Your Interest from Start to Finish
- By Tymeshia Casey on 10-29-24
By: Ruta Sepetys, and others
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Buffalo Dreamer
- By: Violet Duncan
- Narrated by: Ashley Callingbull
- Length: 2 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Summer and her family always spend relaxed summers in Alberta, Canada, on the reservation where her mom’s family lives. But this year is turning out to be an eye-opening one. First, Summer has begun to have vivid dreams in which she's running away from one of the many real-life residential schools that tore Native children from their families and tried to erase their Native identities. Not long after that, she learns that unmarked children’s graves have been discovered at the school her grandpa attended as a child.
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Finally a book a Native kid/adult can relate too
- By Amazon Customer on 12-12-24
By: Violet Duncan
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Quagmire Tiarello Couldn't Be Better
- By: Mylisa Larsen
- Narrated by: James Fouhey
- Length: 5 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Quagmire Tiarello prides himself on not needing anything from anybody. Sure, his mom is skipping work again and showing signs of going into one of her full-out spins, but it’s nothing he can’t handle. He’s used to her up-and-down moods, even if this time it feels a little different. Then his mom disappears, and Quag must find shelter with an uncle he didn't know he had. Should he come clean about his mother’s mental health challenges? Or can he use his carefully honed skills to bluff long enough to find his mom and get home?
By: Mylisa Larsen
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When We Flew Away
- A Novel of Anne Frank Before the Diary
- By: Alice Hoffman
- Narrated by: Mara Wilson
- Length: 5 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance
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Story
Anne Frank's The Diary of a Young Girl has captivated and inspired people for decades. Published posthumously by her bereaved father, Anne's journal, written while she and her family were in hiding during World War II, has become one of the central texts of the Jewish experience during the Holocaust, as well as a work of literary genius. Bestselling author Alice Hoffman delivers a stunning novel about one of contemporary history's most acclaimed figures, exploring the little-known details of Anne Frank's life before she went into hiding.
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More Timely Than Ever
- By Lisbeth on 11-09-24
By: Alice Hoffman
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The Goddesses
- A Novel
- By: Swan Huntley
- Narrated by: Hillary Huber
- Length: 11 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
When Nancy and her family arrive in Kona, Hawaii, they are desperate for a fresh start. Nancy's husband has cheated on her, they sleep in separate bedrooms, and their twin sons have been acting out, setting off illegal fireworks. But Hawaii is paradise: They plant an orange tree in the yard, they share a bed once again, and Nancy resolves to make a happy life for herself. She starts taking a yoga class, and there she meets Ana, the charismatic teacher. Ana has short, black hair, a warm smile, and a hard-won wisdom that resonates deeply within Nancy.
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Ignorance is NOT Bliss for Would-Be Goddess
- By MarisaReads on 08-09-17
By: Swan Huntley
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Stella & Marigold
- By: Annie Barrows, Sophie Blackall - illustrator
- Narrated by: Merissa Czyz
- Length: 1 hr and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Performance
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Story
There is the whole world, and in it, there's a city, and in that city, there's a house, and in that house, there are two half-houses, and in one of those half-houses, there lives a pair of sisters named Stella and Marigold. Stella, who's seven, likes cats and axolotls and second grade. But most of all, she likes Marigold. Marigold, who's four, likes gibbons and red paint and the plumber. But most of all, she likes Stella.
By: Annie Barrows, and others
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Annie LeBlanc Is Not Dead Yet
- A Novel
- By: Molly Morris
- Narrated by: Georgina Sadler
- Length: 9 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Wilson Moss entered the town’s top-secret contest in the hopes of resurrecting her ex-best friend Annie LeBlanc, but that doesn’t mean she thought she’d actually win. Now Annie’s back and Wil’s ecstatic—does it even really matter that Annie ghosted her a year before she died…? But like any contest, there are rules, and the town’s resurrected dead can only return for thirty days. When Wil discovers a loophole that means Annie might be able to stay for good, she’s desperate to keep her alive. The potential key? Their third best friend, Ryan.
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Really enjoyed this book
- By Amazon Customer on 08-27-24
By: Molly Morris
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Puzzleheart
- By: Jenn Reese
- Narrated by: Avi Roque
- Length: 6 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance
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Story
Twelve-year-old Perigee has never met a problem they couldn’t solve. So when their dad’s spirits need raising, Perigee formulates The Plan: a road trip to Dad’s childhood home to reunite him with his estranged mother. There’s something in it for Perigee, too, as they will finally get to visit “Eklunds’ Puzzle House,” the mysterious bed-and-breakfast their grandparents built but never opened.
By: Jenn Reese
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The Swifts: A Dictionary of Scoundrels
- By: Beth Lincoln
- Narrated by: Nikki Patel
- Length: 9 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
On the day they are born, every Swift child is brought before the sacred Family Dictionary. They are given a name, and a definition. A definition it is assumed they will grow up to match. Meet Shenanigan Swift: Little sister. Risk-taker. Mischief-maker. Shenanigan is getting ready for the big Swift Family Reunion and plotting her next great scheme: hunting for Grand-Uncle Vile’s long-lost treasure. She’s excited to finally meet her arriving relatives—until one of them gives Arch-Aunt Schadenfreude a deadly shove down the stairs.
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Clever and quirky- lots of good representation!
- By Rebekah on 05-24-23
By: Beth Lincoln
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The Last Hope School for Magical Delinquents
- By: Nicki Pau Preto
- Narrated by: Emily Marso
- Length: 10 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance
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Story
Lavinia “Vin” Lucas is out of control and out of options. Stranded by parents who would rather use their average magical abilities to study dung beetles than raise her, Vin's been on her own for years. But she’s never been able to corral her own powerful, unpredictable magic. After years of detention, suspension, and expulsion from magic schools far and wide, she’s now being sent to the Last Hope School for Magical Delinquents. If she gets expelled, it’s the end of the line. Now, Vin is determined to behave. Except no one at Last Hope seems to want her to.
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A great story
- By danielle on 11-19-24
By: Nicki Pau Preto
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The Puppets of Spelhorst
- By: Kate DiCamillo
- Narrated by: Allan Corduner
- Length: 1 hr and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
Shut up in a trunk by a taciturn old sea captain with a secret, five friends—a king, a wolf, a girl, a boy, and an owl—bicker, boast, and comfort one another in the dark. Individually, they dream of song and light, freedom and flight, purpose and glory, but they all agree they are part of a larger story, bound each to each by chance, bonded by the heart’s mysteries. When at last their shared fate arrives, landing them on a mantel in a blue room in the home of two little girls, the truth is more astonishing than any of them could have imagined.
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Lovely.
- By Miqat on 11-11-23
By: Kate DiCamillo
What listeners say about The Millicent Quibb School of Etiquette for Young Ladies of Mad Science
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Adam C.
- 12-08-24
Wonderful, I snort laughed
This was so much fun
Kate McKinnon’s performance is incredible. You have to listen to the audiobook.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Anonymous User
- 12-19-24
The performance was excellent!!
Kate Mckinnon does a fantastic job narrating. She had me laughing and smiling through the whole thing. I will definitely be listening to this book again.
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1 person found this helpful
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- LV
- 11-07-24
Engaging
I am a fan of pretty much anything Kate McKinnon creates, so out of amusement I gave it a listen. it was actually quite funny amd easy to follow.
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- LaurenJ
- 12-08-24
Love this book!!
Fun, smart, hilarious fantasy. Kate McKinnon is a genius, writing and performing. Listen all the way through the acknowledgments. It is worth it!
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1 person found this helpful
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- Laura Seel
- 11-21-24
Sequel please!
The audiobook performances are spectacular. Surely this will be a movie out next Halloween? Keep writing Kate. We need your stories.
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- LinseyLoo
- 10-10-24
Delightful
I loved this every ounce as much as I expected to. Pure perfection! I was blessed to be able to attend an author event with Kate McKinnon for this book this past Friday, and it made reading it even more magical. I went with the audio book not only because it was highly recommended (as well it should be — it’s FANTASTIC) but because I didn’t want to sully my autographed copy. Y’all this wacky, brilliant, deep, and darn well-written book is a delight, and Kate is an author through and through. Thank you, Kate, for your inspiring words!!
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- H. Watanabe
- 10-11-24
Delightful Narration!
This was so fun to listen to! Kate McKinnon’s narration takes this book to a whole new level.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Lindsay
- 11-11-24
Kate's narration is amazing (as usual)
Having listened to her "Heads Will Roll," I was expecting wild and wacky, which she delivered in spades! I think kids would enjoy but long-time fans of Kate's will be in for a treat. I'm ready for the next book and hope she has many more in her.
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- Joella Berkner
- 11-01-24
Over the top
It’s a good kids story with narration appropriate for younger kids. I often enjoy kids books, this one was a bit too hammy for me. The pdf was fun. I do recommend this for kids.
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- Jaime S.
- 11-15-24
Kate McKinnon is THE BEST!
The story is spectacular, the voice are AWESOME,I laughed aloud many times.
A great escape from the chaos that is the world these days.
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1 person found this helpful