
The Millicent Quibb School of Etiquette for Young Ladies of Mad Science
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Narrated by:
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Kate McKinnon
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Emily Lynne
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By:
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Kate McKinnon
About this listen
From beloved Saturday Night Live alum Kate McKinnon comes a madcap new adventure about three sisters, a ravenous worm, and a mysterious mad scientist.
So, you want to be a young mad scientist. Congratulations! Admitting it is the first step. The second step is reading the (definitely true) tale of the Porch sisters…
Gertrude, Eugenia, and Dee-Dee Porch do not belong. They don’t belong in the snooty town of Antiquarium, where all girls have to go to etiquette school and the only dog allowed is the bichon frise. They don’t belong with their adoptive family, where all their cousins are named Lavinia and their Aunt has more brooches than books. And they certainly don’t belong at Mrs. Wintermacher’s etiquette school—they’re far more interested in science. After getting kicked out of the last etiquette school that would take them, the girls expect to be sent away for good... until they receive a mysterious invitation to new school.
Suddenly the girls are under the tutelage of the infamous Millicent Quibb—a mad scientist with worms in her hair and oysters in her bathtub. At 231 Mysterium Way, the pizza is fatal, the bus is powered by Gerbils, and the Dean of Students is a hermit crab. Dangerous? Yes! More fun than they’ve ever had? Absolutely! But when the sisters are asked to save their town from an evil cabal of nefarious mad scientists, they must learn to embrace what has always made them stand out, and determine what side they’re on—before it’s too late!
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
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- Length: 7 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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In the distant future most of the human race has fled a ravaged Earth to find new life on other planets. For those who stayed a lawless society remains. Technology has been renounced, and saints and sinners, lawmakers and sheriffs, travelers and gunslingers, abound. What passes for justice is presided over by the High Sheriff, and carried out by his cruel and ruthless Deputy.
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A standout in its genre
- By Caleb Summers on 03-08-25
By: Grace Curtis
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Candy Darling
- Dreamer, Icon, Superstar
- By: Cynthia Carr
- Narrated by: Justin Vivian Bond
- Length: 14 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Growing up on Long Island, lonely and quiet and queer, she was enchanted by Hollywood starlets like Kim Novak. She found her turn in New York’s early Off-Off-Broadway theater scene, in Warhol’s films Flesh and Women in Revolt, and at the famed nightclub Max's Kansas City. She inspired songs by Lou Reed and the Rolling Stones. She became friends with Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin, borrowed a dress from Lauren Hutton, posed for Richard Avedon, and performed alongside Tennessee Williams in his own play.
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Thee candy darling’s bibile
- By Anile on 04-15-24
By: Cynthia Carr
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Medea me cantó un corrido
- By: Dahlia de la Cerda
- Narrated by: Irene Azuela, Maya Zapata, Astrid Mariel Romo, and others
- Length: 3 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Medea me cantó un corrido se conforma de seis relatos breves que Medea, la protagonista, conecta a través de su paso por la vida de diversas mujeres que enfrentan una vida compleja, violenta y ajena a sus propias decisiones y deseos en muchos casos. Medea se conecta con estas mujeres, se refleja en ellas y extiende su mano para ayudarlas, acompañarlas y mostrarle a sus lectoras y lectores que la suerte y el destino muchas veces dependen del entorno, pero que pueden ser ganadas entre nosotras.
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Medea me cantó un corrido
- By annette on 05-02-25
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Devil Is Fine
- A Novel
- By: John Vercher
- Narrated by: Dion Graham
- Length: 8 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Reeling from the sudden death of his teenage son, our narrator receives a letter from an attorney: he has just inherited a plot of land from his estranged grandfather. He travels to a beach town several hours south of his home with the intention of immediately selling the land. But upon inspection, what lies beneath the dirt is much more than he can process in the throes of grief. As a biracial Black man struggling with the many facets of his identity, he’s now the owner of a former plantation passed down by the men on his white mother’s side of the family.
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Mesmerizing
- By Gina Middleton on 06-24-24
By: John Vercher
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His Dark Materials: Once upon a Time in the North
- By: Philip Pullman
- Narrated by: David Harewood
- Length: 2 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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In this prequel episode from Philip Pullman's His Dark Materials universe, Lee Scoresby—Texan aeronaut and future friend to Lyra Belacqua—is just 24 years old, and he's recently won his hot-air balloon in a poker game. He finds himself floating North to the windswept Arctic island of Novy Odense, where he and his hare daemon Hester are quickly tangled in a deadly plot involving an oil magnate, a corrupt mayoral candidate, and Lee's longtime nemesis from the Dakota Country, a hired killer with at least twenty murders to his name.
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Great story
- By Wendy Strgar, sagebrushbooks on 10-04-24
By: Philip Pullman
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Goddess of the River
- By: Vaishnavi Patel
- Narrated by: Sneha Mathan
- Length: 11 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Ganga, joyful goddess of the river, serves as caretaker to the mischievous godlings who roam her banks. But when their antics incur the wrath of a powerful sage, Ganga is cursed to become mortal, bound to her human form until she fulfills the obligations of the curse. Though she knows nothing of mortal life, Ganga weds King Shantanu and becomes a queen, determined to regain her freedom no matter the cost. But in a cruel turn of fate, just as she is freed of her binding, she is forced to leave her infant son behind. Her son, prince Devavrata, unwittingly carries the legacy of Ganga’s curse.
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Quick read excellent narration
- By Navaneeth on 07-14-24
By: Vaishnavi Patel
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The Real Education of TJ Crowley
- Coming of Age on the Redline: An Audio Drama
- By: Grant Overstake, May Wuthrich
- Narrated by: Dani Martineck, Dion Graham, Tavia Gilbert, and others
- Length: 9 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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With his father’s mysterious disappearance and his brother Ronnie enlisting in the Vietnam War, 13-year-old TJ Crowley is left alone with his racist, unstable mother, Kate. The newly enforced Fair Housing Act results in the unthinkable for the Crowleys when a Black family, headed by the eminent Dr. Washington, crosses the racial red line and moves in next door. Kate is quick to warn TJ that their new neighbors are strictly off-limits and makes a panicked call to beg Ray, her old flame, to travel to their home in Wichita Kansas to help deal with “the problem next door.”
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Perfectly cast!
- By Amber Dekkers on 07-23-24
By: Grant Overstake, and others
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Journey's End
- By: R.C. Sherriff
- Narrated by: James Callis, Josh Cole, Jack Cutmore-Scott, and others
- Length: 1 hr and 47 mins
- Original Recording
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It’s March 1918, and World War I is raging in Europe. In the trenches in northern France, a group of British officers, led by the war-weary Captain Stanhope, ready themselves for a major German attack while facing their worst fears. R.C. Sherriff drew on his own experiences in World War One to create the play, which premiered in 1928 and is now considered one of the preeminent works about the horrors of war.
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Gripping and powerful.
- By Ace777 on 12-01-24
By: R.C. Sherriff
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Lavender House
- A Novel
- By: Lev AC Rosen
- Narrated by: Vikas Adam
- Length: 10 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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Lavender House, 1952: the family seat of recently deceased matriarch Irene Lamontaine, head of the famous Lamontaine soap empire. Irene’s recipes for her signature scents are a well guarded secret—but it's not the only one behind these gates. This estate offers a unique freedom, where none of the residents or staff hide who they are. But to keep their secret, they've needed to keep others out. And now they're worried they're keeping a murderer in. When your existence is a crime, everything you do is criminal, and the gates of Lavender House can’t lock out the real world forever.
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OMG so amazing
- By Trarv211 on 11-08-22
By: Lev AC Rosen
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Glory Days
- Stories
- By: Simon Rich
- Narrated by: John Mulaney
- Length: 4 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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From the Thurber Prize-winning author of New Teeth, hailed as “a triumph of sustained humor” (Sarah Lyall, New York Times Book Review), comes a hilarious and powerful collection of short stories chronicling the plight of aging millennials.
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Genuinely funny!
- By Susan B. on 10-05-24
By: Simon Rich
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Impossible Creatures
- By: Katherine Rundell
- Narrated by: Samuel West
- Length: 8 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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The day that Christopher saved a drowning baby griffin from a hidden lake would change his life forever. It’s the day he learned about the Archipelago—a cluster of unmapped islands where magical creatures of every kind have thrived for thousands of years, until now. And it’s the day he met Mal—a girl on the run, in desperate need of his help. Mal and Christopher embark on a wild adventure, racing from island to island, searching for someone who can explain why the magic is fading and why magical creatures are suddenly dying.
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A Magical Mystery Tour
- By Amy Talent on 09-20-24
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The Swifts: A Gallery of Rogues
- By: Beth Lincoln
- Narrated by: Ayesha Antoine
- Length: 10 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Now that the family reunion is over and the murderer has been caught, Shenanigan Swift can return to important projects, like searching for the long-lost family treasure. But trouble always finds Shenanigan, and when a valuable painting is stolen from Swift House by a group of eccentric art thieves known as Ouvolpo, she is determined to get it back—even if it means chasing them all the way to Paris. A new adventure is about to begin, and Shenanigan’s sleuthing skills will soon be tested like never before.
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ENCORE! ENCORE!!
- By The Book Fairy on 08-29-24
By: Beth Lincoln
What listeners say about The Millicent Quibb School of Etiquette for Young Ladies of Mad Science
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- Anonymous User
- 12-19-24
The performance was excellent!!
Kate Mckinnon does a fantastic job narrating. She had me laughing and smiling through the whole thing. I will definitely be listening to this book again.
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- LV
- 11-07-24
Engaging
I am a fan of pretty much anything Kate McKinnon creates, so out of amusement I gave it a listen. it was actually quite funny amd easy to follow.
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- Pixelslinger
- 01-25-25
Laugh out loud brilliance!
This audio book was the highlight of my entire year. Kate McKinnon is a genius and a treasure.
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- H. Watanabe
- 10-11-24
Delightful Narration!
This was so fun to listen to! Kate McKinnon’s narration takes this book to a whole new level.
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- Lindsay
- 11-11-24
Kate's narration is amazing (as usual)
Having listened to her "Heads Will Roll," I was expecting wild and wacky, which she delivered in spades! I think kids would enjoy but long-time fans of Kate's will be in for a treat. I'm ready for the next book and hope she has many more in her.
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- Amazon Customer
- 01-29-25
Great I love it Because the story is amazing
I love the story and I am so looking forward to book 2
I love it
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- Joella Berkner
- 11-01-24
Over the top
It’s a good kids story with narration appropriate for younger kids. I often enjoy kids books, this one was a bit too hammy for me. The pdf was fun. I do recommend this for kids.
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- Jaime S.
- 11-15-24
Kate McKinnon is THE BEST!
The story is spectacular, the voice are AWESOME,I laughed aloud many times.
A great escape from the chaos that is the world these days.
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- dmoxsc
- 10-26-24
Witty, Charming, and Engaging!
From An 8YO “This book is fun and silly. I love that it has adventure and that the characters never gave up hope in each other. It is funny and fun!”
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- Juliana Groder
- 12-01-24
So much heart and uniqueness
I loved this audiobook! I read the text along with listening to the audiobook. It was so entertaining! I can’t wait for the next book!
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