The Sex Lives of Siamese Twins
A Novel
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Narrated by:
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Penelope Rawlins
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Lorelei King
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By:
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Irvine Welsh
About this listen
The famed - some would say notorious - author of Trainspotting and many other brilliant offenses against common literary decency comes at last to America, with a dark and twisted tale of personal training and abject codependency in the fading glitter of Miami's South Beach, with a novel that asks the provocative question: Why would you want to be "the Biggest Loser" anyway?
When Lucy Brennan, a Miami Beach personal-fitness trainer, disarms an apparently crazed gunman chasing two frightened homeless men along a deserted causeway at night, the police and the breaking-news cameras are not far behind. Within hours, Lucy becomes a hero. Her celebrity is short-lived, though: the "crazed gunman", turns out to be a victim of child sexual abuse and the two men are serial pedophiles.
The solitary eyewitness, the depressed and overweight Lena Sorenson, thrilled by Lucy's heroism and decisiveness, becomes obsessed with the trainer and enrolls as a client at her Bodysculpt gym. It quickly becomes clear that Lena is more interested in Lucy's body than her own. Then, when one of the pedophiles she allowed to escape carries out a heinous sex attack, Lucy's transition from hero to villain is complete. When Lucy imprisons Lena, and can't stop thinking about the sex lives of Siamese twins, the real problems start.
In Lucy and Lena, Irvine Welsh has created two of his most memorable female protagonists, and one of the most bizarre, sadomasochistic folie à deux in contemporary fiction. The Sex Lives of Siamese Twins taps into two great obsessions of our time - how we look and where we live - and tells a story so subversive and dark it blacks out the Florida sun.
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In her tour-de-force first novel, Juliann Garey takes us inside the restless mind, ravaged heart, and anguished soul of Greyson Todd, a successful Hollywood studio executive who leaves his wife and young daughter and for a decade travels the world giving free reign to the bipolar disorder he's been forced to keep hidden for almost 20 years.
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Psychosis or Syphilis?
- By Vira on 04-02-13
By: Juliann Garey
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Already Dead
- By: Charlie Huston
- Narrated by: Scott Brick
- Length: 9 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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From the Battery to the Bronx, Manhattan is crawling with Vampyres. Joe Pitt is one of them, and he's not happy about it. Yeah, he gets to be tough as nails and hard to kill. But spending his nights trying to score a pint of blood to feed the Vyrus that's eating at him isn't his idea of a good time.
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A Pleasant Surprise
- By Flavius Krakdaddius on 12-23-09
By: Charlie Huston
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Fighting for Everything
- By: Laura Kaye
- Narrated by: Andi Arndt
- Length: 6 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Home from the Marines, Noah Cortez has a secret he doesn’t want his oldest friend, Kristina Moore, to know. It kills him to push her away, especially when he’s noticing just how sexy and confident she’s become in his absence. But, angry and full of fight, he’s not the same man anymore either. Which is why Warrior Fight Club sounds so good. Kristina loves teaching, but she wants more out of life. She wants Noah - the boy she’s crushed on and waited for. But Noah is secretly spiraling, and when he lashes out, it threatens what he and Kristina have found.
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Good book!
- By Ms. Nicolicous on 05-28-18
By: Laura Kaye
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Last Seen Leaving
- By: Caleb Roehrig
- Narrated by: Josh Hurley
- Length: 10 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Flynn's girlfriend, January, is missing. The cops are asking question he can't answer, and her friends are telling stories that don't add up. All eyes are on Flynn―as January's boyfriend, he must know something. But Flynn has a secret of his own. And as he struggles to uncover the truth about January's disappearance, he must also face the truth about himself.
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Best Book of 2016/Top 10 Contemporary Novels
- By Jeffrey veals on 01-05-17
By: Caleb Roehrig
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Misbehaved
- By: Charleigh Rose
- Narrated by: Ramona Master, Mark Kamish
- Length: 9 hrs
- Unabridged
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Remington Stringer has never been like most girls. She's outspoken and brazen and wants nothing more than to escape the Nevadan hell hole she calls home. On the brink of 18, with a deceased mother and a well-meaning, yet absent father, she's been forced to fend for herself. The only person she's ever been able to depend on is her borderline obsessive stepbrother. But even that anchor is quickly becoming a loose cannon. So when she gets the opportunity to attend the best private school in the state during her senior year of high school, she jumps at the chance.
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Not bad but not a repeat read
- By Kaitlyn Worth on 04-28-20
By: Charleigh Rose
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Loving Day
- By: Mat Johnson
- Narrated by: J. D. Jackson
- Length: 12 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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On his first night in his new home, Warren spies two figures in the grass outside; when he screws up the nerve to confront them, they disappear. The next day he encounters ghosts of a different kind: In the face of the teenage girl he meets at a comics convention, he sees the mingled features of his white father and his black mother, both now dead. The girl is his daughter, and she thinks she's white.
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Teen lit with heavy erotic imagery
- By Itinerant T on 08-26-15
By: Mat Johnson
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Still Missing
- By: Chevy Stevens
- Narrated by: Angela Dawe
- Length: 9 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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On the day she was abducted, Annie O’Sullivan, a 32-year-old Realtor, had three goals: sell a house, forget about a recent argument with her mother, and be on time for dinner with her ever-patient boyfriend. The open house is slow, but when her last visitor pulls up in a van as she’s about to leave, Annie thinks it just might be her lucky day after all.
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A singular voice; a horrendous story.
- By Richard Delman on 01-21-12
By: Chevy Stevens
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The Purple Don
- An Illuminati Novel
- By: SLMN
- Narrated by: L. Steven Taylor
- Length: 8 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Joey Diamonds is on the verge of being a “made” man, with ice-cold blue eyes that pierce through the hearts of women...and men. After being disowned by his Mafia family, losing the love of his life, and realizing the world at large is his enemy, Joey throws extreme caution to the wind on his journey of self-debauchery in the name of fame and fortune. The Purple Don is the story of how self-destruction is never simply an internal state, and everyone around can be destroyed in the process.
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This was a good story!
- By tracey on 04-18-24
By: SLMN
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The Death of Cool
- From Teenage Rebellion to the Hangover of Adulthood
- By: Gavin McInnes
- Narrated by: Gavin McInnes
- Length: 7 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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This is his story, or, rather, stories - lots of them, and all gut-punchingly hilarious, from that first far reach into a girl's tight jeans to turning forty with a cataclysmic party. In between you’ll hear about acid trips, threesomes, Nazi skinheads, his band Anal Chinook (Inuit for “warm wind”), Martians in northern Canada, throwing pedophiles in jail, dinner with the Clash, what happens when you crash Bill Maher's show wasted, and the true story of Vice magazine.
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if you don't buy this book, the terrorists win
- By Kelsey Gholi on 04-03-17
By: Gavin McInnes
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Rebel
- Dead Man's Ink, Book 1
- By: Callie Hart
- Narrated by: Walles Hamonde, Kelly Burke
- Length: 7 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Sometimes you don't mean to become another person. Sometimes the choice is made for you, and pretending is the only thing that keeps you going. When Alexis Romera is taken and her kidnappers find her fake ID in her purse, she must become Sophia in order to keep her family safe. Revealing her real identity to the man she's sold to would be easy enough, but can she trust him? Hell-bent on avenging the murder of his uncle, Rebel doesn't seem all that interested in playing things safe.
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Story was ok but the actors were TERRIBLE
- By Jilliane Polillio on 11-03-15
By: Callie Hart
What listeners say about The Sex Lives of Siamese Twins
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Moe
- 02-07-15
A really great examination of what makes us
Please be advised that this book is chalk full off curse words and explicit sex, but worth the listen.I don't have expectations of books, but this one was very entertaining and thoughtfully done.
I loved how negative Lucy made all the trite "positive" affirmations that we throw around, while assuming it is still positive and not bullying.
Generally well cobbled and, in its way, a thinker.
Enjoy😀
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4 people found this helpful
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- Anonymous User
- 02-15-22
One of The Greats.
It took me a little while to really appreciate the voices but in the end I did. The book in and of itself is phenomenal. Like any crime noir. Like Hubert Selby Jr mixed with Chuck Palahniuk and Iain Banks. And some Hunter S Thompson as well. I just can’t say enough about the brilliance of this book. I couldn’t stop one I was hooked. Thank you.
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- Reshma
- 05-09-23
Grating performance, disturbing text, interesting concept
If you get past the god awful narration of the opening character and make it through this mess, you’ll find a series of really disturbing, inauthentic scenes, draped in a curious story concept. I purchased this on a “highly rated” recco from Audible. Last time I do that. I’ve never read Trainspotting, only seen the picture which I was a fan of. Now I wonder if I ever would have seen it had I read the book first. If it reads like this one, then I highly doubt it.
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- Jennifer
- 03-24-22
OK
A bit predictable and the sex scenes were way over the top, but a fun, if not somewhat disturbing read.
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- james
- 02-20-15
Irvine Welsh has once again done it!
Loved it! Intrigued, and amazed at every corner of the book! Thank you once again!
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2 people found this helpful
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- Anonymous
- 12-03-16
does not disappoint
not an easy listen because of the serious subject matter, but full of colorful and real language and ideas that were very thought provoking
Irvine welsh continues to come through because he is unafraid of exploring complex and taboo themes
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1 person found this helpful
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- Amanda
- 02-24-15
Totally and utterly disturbed
For females that listen to or read this book: it will probably disturb you. Welsh wants to disturb you though. However, for some survivors of sexual violence, this book may be triggering.
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4 people found this helpful
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- Mrs. S. J. Carkeek
- 06-13-17
Beautifully crafted, witty, explicit
I became thoroughly absorbed by the two voices of the lead female protagonists...the book describes the effects of old emotional wounds - how they control the present if left unprocessed, and it portrays the 'taboo' emotions anger and fear deftly and thoroughly. The action plot line isn't hampered or measured - it is bold, excessive and extremely graphic! I belly laughed several times, and I enjoyed the well-observed range of characters, especially Lucy's parents.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Amazon Customer
- 02-22-23
the narration ruined it for me
I'm struggling to get through it. the voice acting of Penelope is just dreadful.
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- GraceAnne Miles
- 05-24-23
The worst lesbian/bi narrative I’ve ever read. Such a male understanding of these characters.
The characters were flat, and I feel like it was a guy in the locker room trying to tell his buddies about what lesbian/bisexual women are actually like.
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