The Sex Talk You Never Got
Reclaiming the Heart of Masculine Sexuality
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Narrated by:
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Sam Jolman
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John Eldredge
About this listen
Read by the author.
Men today are starved for sexual formation. They've been failed by parents, churches, and culture alike, leading to widespread shame, confusion, and brokenness in the area of sexuality. In The Sex Talk You Never Got, therapist Sam Jolman helps men reconnect their God-given sexuality with innocence, awe, and joy, and shows listeners how to celebrate--instead of struggle against--the gift of sexual desire.
In our sex-saturated world, it might seem surprising that men need more talk about sex. But the reality is that sexuality is one of the most neglected aspects of men's lives. From the woefully inadequate sex talks many young men receive from parents (little more than an anatomy lesson or a purity lecture, if anything at all) to cultural messages that unhelpfully weave both shame and permissiveness into men's understanding of their own sexuality and masculinity, too many boys and men experience sexual desire as an area of struggle, confusion, and brokenness.
But it doesn't need to be this way. God made men to be moved, to live with wonder and awe--and sexual desire must be formed within the context of that design. Sam Jolman, a professional therapist who specializes in men's issues and sexual trauma recovery, shows men the way out of the wilds of sexual struggle.
This timely and incisive book will help listeners:
- learn about the vital link between sexual desire and their identity as worshipers;
- regain a wild and vigorous sexuality within the context of God's design;
- understand how purity culture has needlessly put men in a conflict-ridden relationship with their sexuality;
- see sexual purity not as the goal but as the preparation for becoming fully alive to beauty, awe, and worship; and
- discover how to trade shame and confusion for a sexuality that's filled with innocence and wonder.
In the Bible, Jesus' greatest kindness was often offered to those suffering sexual harm and brokenness. He offers this same kindness today. He does not want men to repent of their sexual desire. Rather, through reconnecting sexuality with innocence and awe, God opens the door for men to experience the wild joy of desire, rightly ordered toward worship and God's good purposes for their life.
©2024 Sam Jolman (P)2024 Thomas NelsonListeners also enjoyed...
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- How Charles Dickens's A Christmas Carol Rescued His Career and Revived Our Holiday Spirits
- By: Les Standiford
- Narrated by: Jonathan Davis
- Length: 5 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Just before Christmas in 1843, a debt-ridden and dispirited Charles Dickens wrote a small book he hoped would keep his creditors at bay. His publisher turned it down, so Dickens used what little money he had to put out A Christmas Carol himself. He worried it might be the end of his career as a novelist. The book immediately caused a sensation. And it breathed new life into a holiday that had fallen into disfavor, undermined by lingering Puritanism and the cold modernity of the Industrial Revolution.
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Beautifully Told!
- By JodyB on 12-01-17
By: Les Standiford
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My Big TOE: Awakening
- Book One of a Trilogy Unifying Philosophy, Physics, and Metaphysics
- By: Thomas Campbell
- Narrated by: Thomas Campbell
- Length: 11 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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My Big TOE: Awakening, written by a nuclear physicist in the language of contemporary culture, unifies science and philosophy, physics and metaphysics, mind and matter, purpose and meaning, the normal and the paranormal. The entirety of human experience (mind, body, and spirit) including both our objective and subjective worlds is brought together under one seamless scientific understanding.
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What a Trip (but to where?)
- By Michael on 11-26-13
By: Thomas Campbell
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Neville Goddard: The Complete Reader
- By: Neville Goddard
- Narrated by: Barry J. Peterson
- Length: 14 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Neville Goddard: The Complete Reader, Includes all 10 of Neville Goddard's Spiritual Classics: At Your Command, Awakened Imagination & the Search, Feeling is the Secret, Freedom For All, Out of This World, Prayer, The Art of Believing, Seedtime and Harvest, The Law and The Promise, The Power of Awareness, and Your Faith Is Your Fortune. If you are familiar with the great American mystic, this will be a goldmine of wisdom in one book. If you are new to his work, you are in for a spiritual journey.
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Hidden Gem
- By TrauntsiePants on 05-22-18
By: Neville Goddard
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Super Attractor
- Methods for Manifesting a Life Beyond Your Wildest Dreams
- By: Gabrielle Bernstein
- Narrated by: Gabrielle Bernstein
- Length: 6 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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Ready to turn what you want into the life that you live? The number-one New York Times best-selling author of The Universe Has Your Back shows you how. In Super Attractor, Gabrielle Bernstein lays out the essential methods for manifesting a life beyond your wildest dreams. This book is a journey of remembering where your true power lies. You'll learn how to co-create the life you want. You'll accept that life can flow, that attracting is fun, and that you don't have to work so hard to get what you want.
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Not a huge fan
- By Pamela H on 09-30-19
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The Pagan World
- Ancient Religions Before Christianity
- By: Hans-Friedrich Mueller, The Great Courses
- Narrated by: Hans-Friedrich Mueller
- Length: 12 hrs and 34 mins
- Original Recording
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In The Pagan World: Ancient Religions Before Christianity, you will meet the fascinating, ancient polytheistic peoples of the Mediterranean and beyond, their many gods and goddesses, and their public and private worship practices, as you come to appreciate the foundational role religion played in their lives. Professor Hans-Friedrich Mueller, of Union College in Schenectady, New York, makes this ancient world come alive in 24 lectures with captivating stories of intrigue, artifacts, illustrations, and detailed descriptions from primary sources of intriguing personalities.
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The Pagan World
- By arnold e andersen md Dr Andersen on 03-28-20
By: Hans-Friedrich Mueller, and others
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Medieval Myths & Mysteries
- By: Dorsey Armstrong, The Great Courses
- Narrated by: Dorsey Armstrong
- Length: 5 hrs and 6 mins
- Original Recording
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The 10 enlightening (and often humorous) lectures of Medieval Myths and Mysteries will show you how far from the “dark” times of legend these centuries were. Uncover the facts about the Knights Templar. Reveal the truth behind the tales of legendary creatures like the Questing Beast and the unicorn. Trace the events of the Black Death and the ways it altered the world in its wake, and much more. With Professor Armstrong, you will dig deep into the ways that later generations reshaped the narrative of the medieval years and perpetuated the myths.
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Interesting, but centered on Britain
- By Ximena on 04-10-20
By: Dorsey Armstrong, and others
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The Bible is a piercing drama, a tale of prophets and wandering spirits, heroic mothers and flashing swords, cosmic mountains, and a dry, shadowy Sheol. It is a true story that defines the nature and purpose of reality, and its claims are astonishing. But few modern listeners experience the Bible that way. In this groundbreaking audiobook, celebrated storyteller Blaine Eldredge draws upon years of research to illuminate the story of the Bible through the lives of six kingly characters.
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Wildly important book but narration needs work
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In Get Your Life Back, New York Times best-selling author John Eldredge provides a practical, simple, and refreshing guide to taking your life back. By practicing a few wonderfully simple practices - or what John calls “graces” - you can begin to recover your soul, disentangle from the tragedies of this broken world, and discover the restorative power of beauty.
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For Such A Time As This
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Sexual abuse, sex addiction, gender confusion, brokenness, and shame plague today's world, and people are seeking clarity and hope. By contesting long-held cultural paradigms, this book equips you to see how sexuality is rooted in the broader context of God's heart and his work for us on earth. Instead of arguing with the world about what's right and wrong about sexual choices, this practical resource equips you to share the love and grace of Jesus as you encounter the pain of sexual brokenness - your own or someone else's.
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The Art of Bringing Back the Intimacy
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It can be hard when you are the partner with a higher sex drive. You can be left feeling rejected, unattractive, frustrated, and confused–and it’s likely your spouse doesn’t even realize you feel this way. And if you are the partner with the lower drive, you feel guilty, pressured, and frustrated, not sure how to move past this roadblock.
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Enlightening
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God Loves Sex
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God Loves Sex offers a truly liberating, godly view of holy sensuality by recovering the clear meaning of the Song of Songs as God-sanctioned eroticism. Then it uses that lens to answer questions posed by a fictional new Christian struggling with expectations of sexual purity. It asks provocative questions, such as What does it mean to be both holy and filled with rich sexual desire? and How can our sexual struggles take us deeper into the purposes of God?
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31 Days to Great Sex
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Whether you are engaged and afraid you won't be able to light the spark, are newlyweds who haven't started off well, or have been married five, 10, 25 years, or more and you'd like to recapture the spark you once had, this audiobook is for you! The challenges aim to spice up the bedroom while guiding you through all three levels of sexual intimacy. As you go through these challenges with lots of laughter and enjoyment, sex will stop being a source of tension and become something fun that brings you together, just the way God intended.
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didn't need a lesson in theology
- By Not Usually Picky on 08-08-20
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The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex
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A candid companion to the best-selling guide for women, The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex gives you suggestions for a fulfilling sex life for both you and your wife, whether you're just starting out or simply want to make your sex life what you've always hoped it would be and aren't sure how to get there.
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Religion-based.
- By JR on 08-02-23
By: Sheila Wray Gregoire, and others
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The Sacred Romance (Revised and Updated Edition)
- Coming Home to the God Who Pursues Your Heart
- By: John Eldredge, Brent Curtis
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- Unabridged
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We have lost touch with our hearts. In the pursuit of efficiency, success, and the busyness of our lives we have only been left with emptiness and longing. If you're feeling lost, disconnected, wounded, broken, or if your heart just aches for something more, you’ve come to the right place. In The Sacred Romance, bestselling authors John Eldredge and Brent Curtis invite you to join them as they explore the greatest love of our lives: a relationship with the God who pursues us.
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too much of Forest Gump!
- By Amazon Customer on 12-09-24
By: John Eldredge, and others
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The Naked Marriage
- By: Dave Willis, Ashley Willis
- Narrated by: Dave Willis, Ashley Willis
- Length: 5 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Imagine a marriage with complete intimacy, vulnerability, transparency, and trust. Imagine a marriage rooted in faith, friendship, and mutual fulfillment. Imagine a marriage with amazing sex, but where great sex is only the icing on the cake. This might all sound too good to be true, but it's actually what God designed marriage to be, and he doesn't want you settling for anything less.
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Amazing read
- By Weaver on 03-03-20
By: Dave Willis, and others
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The Sexually Healthy Man
- Essays on Spirituality, Sexuality, & Restoration
- By: Andrew J. Bauman
- Narrated by: Adam Naranjo
- Length: 2 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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I grew up in the Southern Baptist church of the '90s during the height of the True Love Waits movement, accompanied by Joshua Harris’ best seller, I Kissed Dating Goodbye. If you don’t know what I am referring to, consider yourself blessed. Many of the ideas perpetuated by this culture were infused with fear and shame, offering no practical help or guidance in equipping young people to become healthy sexual human beings.
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The fact that even people who seem perfect have a past.
- By Elisabeth Louise Mizner on 06-07-24
By: Andrew J. Bauman
What listeners say about The Sex Talk You Never Got
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- John Scoggins
- 10-17-24
This book (albeit unfortunately) should be mandatory reading for men for are truly seeking to connect to their spouses.
The stories shared within this book are guaranteed to reach you in some way. I was nearly moved to tears in the later chapters as Sam expressed many of the feelings/emotions I have buried deep down inside and had no idea how to deal with.
This book is a phenomenal resource in this current day and age where father’s are doing a very poor job of educating their sons about their masculinity and sex. I highly recommend listening to this book.
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- D. Barry
- 12-12-24
Deeply healing
This is a deep and profound vision for male sexuality. Very thoughtful and heartfelt and healthy. Vast improvement over the toxic advice that comes out of the evangelical world over the last few decades.
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- Lisa A. Barber
- 12-14-24
This book fills a much needed deficit in our culture
It is refreshing to hear sexuality discussed with such authenticity and emotional maturity in a biblically sound and scientifically correct manner. This book fills a gaping hole in the Christian ecosphere. I highly recommend this book. Mark Barber DO -Board Certified in Family Medicine.
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- Elisabeth Louise Mizner
- 07-15-24
Very encouraging
Loved his view point on sexuality and all that goes with it. Thanks for writing this book I wished everyone would take the time to listen/read it
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- Anonymous User
- 07-17-24
Solid, Comprehensive, Life-Changing
Sam has written a book that every man, young and old, must read. My hope is for this book to reach men all over the world and create a lasting change toward comprehensive manhood with a healthy and life-giving sense of sensuality and true arousal.
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- Amazon Customer
- 08-23-24
Should be a must read for all engaged men and women
This book so beautifully clears up common misconceptions about sex. It calls men to be more than just lustful ejaculators - it’s a call to truly love in the purest sense of the word. It’s a call to avoid objectifying women and calls out the common church teachings that allow just that. It’s full of both scripture and study references. It’s packed full of deep, thought provoking soul-churning information while still being and easy, conversational read.
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- Denzel Bridges
- 08-10-24
Absolute, edifying blessing
I found this book in my recommendations when I felt in my heart of hearts that something was off, if not missing. This book helped me explore many of those feelings and I feel my heart beat stronger for it. Will absolutely revisit it real soon! Thank you Sam Jolman and God bless!
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- Lance Sellon
- 11-15-24
Gritty and Healing - Immediately Reading Again
I ignored my cognitive, physiological, and spiritual trauma regarding my masculine sexuality for 30+ years. Jolman invited and lead me into an approachable discussion with myself. Healing enroute.
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- Raymond Terwilliger
- 11-24-24
Deeply Healing and Hopefull
Can't recommend this book enough for anyone who struggles with unwanted sexual behaviors. This book gives one a new and fresh perspective on what it means to a awaken the heart of the man God created to love and make a real difference in this dark world.
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- Sandra
- 06-24-24
A must read!
Sam brings new light and meaning to healthy male sexuality in The Church and beyond. Men have been stunted by The Church’s doomsday messages regarding male sexuality and insatiable lust & desire. These messages often are like a self-fulfilling prophecy. The damaging messages most Christian sex books for men are inundated with, Sam kindly sets right.
With Sam’s careful and thoughtful reintroduction into a man’s true lover heart, he gives hope for present and future generations of men to delve into their stories and reclaim innocence. With this book and hopefully others like it to come, we can begin to turn the tide and see men rise up to what God created them to be in their sexuality.
As a mother of two boys, it has been my heart to relearn what healthy sexuality is for men. My husband and I decided to read this book together and it has been so insightful and stirred up many good conversations. We were the product of purity culture and only in the last few years have figured out that purity culture and all we were taught and read was really at the root of some of our deepest struggles in marriage. We desperately want better for our boys as they grow and become men and know that we cannot pass on what we do not hold ourselves. It is in this process of relearning that Sam’s book came out. What a blessing!
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