The Sex Talk You Never Got
Reclaiming the Heart of Masculine Sexuality
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Narrated by:
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Sam Jolman
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John Eldredge
About this listen
Read by the author.
Men today are starved for sexual formation. They've been failed by parents, churches, and culture alike, leading to widespread shame, confusion, and brokenness in the area of sexuality. In The Sex Talk You Never Got, therapist Sam Jolman helps men reconnect their God-given sexuality with innocence, awe, and joy, and shows listeners how to celebrate--instead of struggle against--the gift of sexual desire.
In our sex-saturated world, it might seem surprising that men need more talk about sex. But the reality is that sexuality is one of the most neglected aspects of men's lives. From the woefully inadequate sex talks many young men receive from parents (little more than an anatomy lesson or a purity lecture, if anything at all) to cultural messages that unhelpfully weave both shame and permissiveness into men's understanding of their own sexuality and masculinity, too many boys and men experience sexual desire as an area of struggle, confusion, and brokenness.
But it doesn't need to be this way. God made men to be moved, to live with wonder and awe--and sexual desire must be formed within the context of that design. Sam Jolman, a professional therapist who specializes in men's issues and sexual trauma recovery, shows men the way out of the wilds of sexual struggle.
This timely and incisive book will help listeners:
- learn about the vital link between sexual desire and their identity as worshipers;
- regain a wild and vigorous sexuality within the context of God's design;
- understand how purity culture has needlessly put men in a conflict-ridden relationship with their sexuality;
- see sexual purity not as the goal but as the preparation for becoming fully alive to beauty, awe, and worship; and
- discover how to trade shame and confusion for a sexuality that's filled with innocence and wonder.
In the Bible, Jesus' greatest kindness was often offered to those suffering sexual harm and brokenness. He offers this same kindness today. He does not want men to repent of their sexual desire. Rather, through reconnecting sexuality with innocence and awe, God opens the door for men to experience the wild joy of desire, rightly ordered toward worship and God's good purposes for their life.
©2024 Sam Jolman (P)2024 Thomas NelsonListeners also enjoyed...
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Story
In Non-Toxic Masculinity, Zachary Wagner tells men, "If you are in Christ, this is your problem—and you should be part of the solution." Reflecting on his own coming of age in the purity culture movement and ongoing recovery from sexual shame, Wagner confronts harmful teaching from the American church that has distorted desire, sex, relationships, and responsibility. For those—both men and women—who feel disillusioned and adrift, this book offers a renewed vision for Christian male sexuality founded in empathy and selflessness.
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The author's empathy is empowering to the faith based abused women.
- By kalpana s. on 10-25-24
By: Zachary Wagner
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Resilient
- Restoring Your Weary Soul in These Turbulent Times
- By: John Eldredge
- Narrated by: John Eldredge
- Length: 6 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
Reclaim your joy and thrive through the storms of life when you find your strength in God. The human soul has a built-in yearning for joy and beauty and all good things. But that craving for life is so easily lost in the pace and demands of modern life. Join New York Times bestselling author John Eldredge as he gives you the tools you need to follow Jesus' path of supernatural resilience. Between false promises of ease and comfort on one side and the sheer busyness and stress of daily life on the other, people today are facing a shortage of peace, happiness, and strength.
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Good for my soul
- By Anonymous User on 09-29-22
By: John Eldredge
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Fathered by God
- Learning What Your Dad Could Never Teach You
- By: John Eldredge
- Narrated by: John Eldredge
- Length: 6 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance
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Story
John Eldredge calls men back to a simple and reassuring truth: God is our father. In life's trials and triumphs, God is initiating boys and men through the stages of manhood from beloved son to cowboy to warrior to lover to king to sage. Fathered by God maps out the path of manhood - not more rules, not another list of principles, not formulas, but a sure path men have followed for centuries before us.
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great reading
- By James Peach on 04-02-19
By: John Eldredge
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Beautiful Outlaw
- Experiencing the Playful, Disruptive, Extravagant Personality of Jesus
- By: John Eldredge
- Narrated by: John Eldredge
- Length: 7 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Reading the Gospels without knowing the personality of Jesus is like watching television with the sound turned off. The result is a dry, two dimensional person doing strange, undecipherable things.
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Wow! You're going to love this book!
- By Katz on 04-15-12
By: John Eldredge
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Get Your Life Back
- Everyday Practices for a World Gone Mad
- By: John Eldredge
- Narrated by: John Eldredge
- Length: 6 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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In Get Your Life Back, New York Times best-selling author John Eldredge provides a practical, simple, and refreshing guide to taking your life back. By practicing a few wonderfully simple practices - or what John calls “graces” - you can begin to recover your soul, disentangle from the tragedies of this broken world, and discover the restorative power of beauty.
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For Such A Time As This
- By Michelle on 04-18-20
By: John Eldredge
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Becoming a King
- The Path to Restoring the Heart of a Man
- By: Morgan Snyder, John Eldredge
- Narrated by: Morgan Snyder
- Length: 10 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Morgan Snyder’s Becoming a King unabashedly speaks directly to men, teaching them the life-changing truth about the power that God intends for them to responsibly step into for his kingdom, while also giving women an honest peek behind the curtain into the lives and hearts of the men they know and love.
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Results From 2 Months of Reading
- By Anonymous User on 07-06-20
By: Morgan Snyder, and others
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Non-Toxic Masculinity
- Recovering Healthy Male Sexuality
- By: Zachary Wagner
- Narrated by: Mike Chamberlain
- Length: 7 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In Non-Toxic Masculinity, Zachary Wagner tells men, "If you are in Christ, this is your problem—and you should be part of the solution." Reflecting on his own coming of age in the purity culture movement and ongoing recovery from sexual shame, Wagner confronts harmful teaching from the American church that has distorted desire, sex, relationships, and responsibility. For those—both men and women—who feel disillusioned and adrift, this book offers a renewed vision for Christian male sexuality founded in empathy and selflessness.
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The author's empathy is empowering to the faith based abused women.
- By kalpana s. on 10-25-24
By: Zachary Wagner
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Resilient
- Restoring Your Weary Soul in These Turbulent Times
- By: John Eldredge
- Narrated by: John Eldredge
- Length: 6 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Reclaim your joy and thrive through the storms of life when you find your strength in God. The human soul has a built-in yearning for joy and beauty and all good things. But that craving for life is so easily lost in the pace and demands of modern life. Join New York Times bestselling author John Eldredge as he gives you the tools you need to follow Jesus' path of supernatural resilience. Between false promises of ease and comfort on one side and the sheer busyness and stress of daily life on the other, people today are facing a shortage of peace, happiness, and strength.
-
-
Good for my soul
- By Anonymous User on 09-29-22
By: John Eldredge
-
Fathered by God
- Learning What Your Dad Could Never Teach You
- By: John Eldredge
- Narrated by: John Eldredge
- Length: 6 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
John Eldredge calls men back to a simple and reassuring truth: God is our father. In life's trials and triumphs, God is initiating boys and men through the stages of manhood from beloved son to cowboy to warrior to lover to king to sage. Fathered by God maps out the path of manhood - not more rules, not another list of principles, not formulas, but a sure path men have followed for centuries before us.
-
-
great reading
- By James Peach on 04-02-19
By: John Eldredge
-
Beautiful Outlaw
- Experiencing the Playful, Disruptive, Extravagant Personality of Jesus
- By: John Eldredge
- Narrated by: John Eldredge
- Length: 7 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Reading the Gospels without knowing the personality of Jesus is like watching television with the sound turned off. The result is a dry, two dimensional person doing strange, undecipherable things.
-
-
Wow! You're going to love this book!
- By Katz on 04-15-12
By: John Eldredge
-
Get Your Life Back
- Everyday Practices for a World Gone Mad
- By: John Eldredge
- Narrated by: John Eldredge
- Length: 6 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In Get Your Life Back, New York Times best-selling author John Eldredge provides a practical, simple, and refreshing guide to taking your life back. By practicing a few wonderfully simple practices - or what John calls “graces” - you can begin to recover your soul, disentangle from the tragedies of this broken world, and discover the restorative power of beauty.
-
-
For Such A Time As This
- By Michelle on 04-18-20
By: John Eldredge
-
Becoming a King
- The Path to Restoring the Heart of a Man
- By: Morgan Snyder, John Eldredge
- Narrated by: Morgan Snyder
- Length: 10 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Morgan Snyder’s Becoming a King unabashedly speaks directly to men, teaching them the life-changing truth about the power that God intends for them to responsibly step into for his kingdom, while also giving women an honest peek behind the curtain into the lives and hearts of the men they know and love.
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Results From 2 Months of Reading
- By Anonymous User on 07-06-20
By: Morgan Snyder, and others
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The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex
- Because Good Guys Make the Best Lovers
- By: Sheila Wray Gregoire, Keith Ronald Gregoire
- Narrated by: Sheila Wray Gregoire, Keith Gregoire
- Length: 6 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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A candid companion to the best-selling guide for women, The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex gives you suggestions for a fulfilling sex life for both you and your wife, whether you're just starting out or simply want to make your sex life what you've always hoped it would be and aren't sure how to get there.
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Religion-based.
- By JR on 08-02-23
By: Sheila Wray Gregoire, and others
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Wild at Heart
- Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul
- By: John Eldredge
- Narrated by: John Eldredge
- Length: 8 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
Every man was once a boy. And every little boy has dreams, big dreams: dreams of being the hero, of beating the bad guys, of doing daring feats and rescuing the damsel in distress. Every little girl has dreams, too: of being rescued by her prince and swept up into a great adventure, knowing that she is the beauty.
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Healing & Understanding
- By Michael on 07-05-04
By: John Eldredge
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Beyond Shame
- Creating a Healthy Sex Life on Your Own Terms
- By: Matthias Roberts, Tina Schermer Sellers - foreword
- Narrated by: Timothy Andrés Pabon
- Length: 5 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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We all carry sexual shame. Whether we grew up in the repressive purity culture of American Evangelical Christianity or not, we've all been taught in subtle and not-so-subtle ways that sex (outside of very specific contexts) is immoral and taboo. Psychotherapist Matthias Roberts helps listeners overcome their shame around sex by overcoming three unhealthy coping mechanisms we use to manage that shame.
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Good info, but author is close minded
- By Anonymous User on 04-07-22
By: Matthias Roberts, and others
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Experience Jesus. Really
- Finding Refuge, Strength, and Wonder through Everyday Encounters with God
- By: John Eldredge
- Narrated by: John Eldredge
- Length: 5 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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New York Times bestselling author John Eldredge reveals the path of the "ordinary mystic," and invites listeners into the refuge of experiencing deep, lasting, real communion with Jesus. Every human yearns to return to Eden, to a state of unbroken communion with the God who created us for adventure and intimacy with him. The mystic is awake to the truth that God is still with us—and we experience the refuge of his powerful, healing presence if we learn to open our hearts to him.
By: John Eldredge
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The Art of Bringing Back the Intimacy
- Learn to Avoid the Dead Bedroom, Eliminate the Resentment, and Relight the Libido in Your Relationship
- By: Andrew Glover
- Narrated by: Megan Meyer
- Length: 3 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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It can be hard when you are the partner with a higher sex drive. You can be left feeling rejected, unattractive, frustrated, and confused–and it’s likely your spouse doesn’t even realize you feel this way. And if you are the partner with the lower drive, you feel guilty, pressured, and frustrated, not sure how to move past this roadblock.
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Enlightening
- By Aries Johnson on 03-31-23
By: Andrew Glover
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Rethinking Sexuality
- God’s Design and Why It Matters
- By: Dr. Juli Slattery, Gary Thomas - Foreword by
- Narrated by: Dr. Juli Slattery
- Length: 6 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Sexual abuse, sex addiction, gender confusion, brokenness, and shame plague today's world, and people are seeking clarity and hope. By contesting long-held cultural paradigms, this book equips you to see how sexuality is rooted in the broader context of God's heart and his work for us on earth. Instead of arguing with the world about what's right and wrong about sexual choices, this practical resource equips you to share the love and grace of Jesus as you encounter the pain of sexual brokenness - your own or someone else's.
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Raw, Real, & Honest
- By Bianca on 05-02-19
By: Dr. Juli Slattery, and others
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The Great Sex Rescue
- The Lies You’ve Been Taught and How to Recover What God Intended
- By: Sheila Wray Gregoire, Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach, Joanna Sawatsky
- Narrated by: Sheila Wray Gregoire
- Length: 7 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Based on a groundbreaking in-depth survey of 22,000 Christian women, The Great Sex Rescue unlocks the secrets to what makes some marriages red hot while others fizzle out. Generations of women have grown up with messages about sex that make them feel dirty, used, or invisible, while men have been sold such a cheapened version of sex, they don't know what they're missing. The Great Sex Rescue hopes to turn all of that around, developing a truly biblical view of sex where mutuality, intimacy, and passion reign.
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Controversial message from questionable material
- By Sarah on 06-30-21
By: Sheila Wray Gregoire, and others
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The Sacred Romance (Revised and Updated Edition)
- Coming Home to the God Who Pursues Your Heart
- By: John Eldredge, Brent Curtis
- Narrated by: John Eldredge
- Length: 9 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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We have lost touch with our hearts. In the pursuit of efficiency, success, and the busyness of our lives we have only been left with emptiness and longing. If you're feeling lost, disconnected, wounded, broken, or if your heart just aches for something more, you’ve come to the right place. In The Sacred Romance, bestselling authors John Eldredge and Brent Curtis invite you to join them as they explore the greatest love of our lives: a relationship with the God who pursues us.
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Relevant and personal
- By Aaron Watson on 01-21-25
By: John Eldredge, and others
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She Deserves Better
- Raising Girls to Resist Toxic Teachings on Sex, Self, and Speaking Up
- By: Sheila Wray Gregoire, Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach, Joanna Sawatsky
- Narrated by: Sheila Wray Gregoire, Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach
- Length: 7 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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What if the goal of raising a Christian girl was about more than keeping her virginity intact? What if it was about raising a strong, independent young woman who knows who she is, uses her voice, and confidently steps into the life God has for her? From the authors of The Great Sex Rescue comes this evidence-based book grounded on surveys of over 28,000 women to offer moms a fresh, freeing, and biblically grounded message of sexuality and self-worth for their daughters that is less about the don'ts and more about the dos.
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If you are a parent or ministry leader of women or young girls, I plead with you to read this book
- By Kirsten Salgado on 05-08-24
By: Sheila Wray Gregoire, and others
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The Deep-Rooted Marriage
- Cultivating Intimacy, Healing, and Delight
- By: Dr. Dan B. Allender, Dr. Steve Call
- Narrated by: Dr. Dan B. Allender, Dr. Steve Call, Becky Allender, and others
- Length: 8 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Every relationship has its highs and lows, but we often don't know what to do with our "lows," or how we ended up there. What is creating friction, exacerbating our pain, and standing in the way of intimacy? More often than not, it is the stories of our past drifting into the present. But if we are willing to look at them closely, we will be able to write a new story for the future. With more than seventy years of therapeutic experience combined, Dan Allender and Steve Call demonstrate how God is inviting you and your partner to a wild faith journey with the hope of transformation.
By: Dr. Dan B. Allender, and others
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Redeeming Heartache
- How Past Suffering Reveals Our True Calling
- By: Dr. Dan B. Allender, Cathy Loerzel
- Narrated by: Candace Kirkpatrick, Bill Russell
- Length: 8 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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In this book, renowned psychologist Dr. Dan Allender and counselor Cathy Loerzel present a biblically trustworthy and transformational method for healing from painful memories and emotional trauma, stepping into true freedom, and discovering that your wounds are unlikely guides to inner strength and joy.
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A little too political.
- By Matthew144 on 12-28-21
By: Dr. Dan B. Allender, and others
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Waking the Dead
- The Glory of a Heart Fully Alive
- By: John Eldredge
- Narrated by: Kelly Dolan
- Length: 7 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Jesus said, "I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." That's the offer of Christianity, from God himself.
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I've been Awakened!
- By Ryan on 08-26-04
By: John Eldredge
What listeners say about The Sex Talk You Never Got
Highly rated for:
Reviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- John Scoggins
- 10-17-24
This book (albeit unfortunately) should be mandatory reading for men for are truly seeking to connect to their spouses.
The stories shared within this book are guaranteed to reach you in some way. I was nearly moved to tears in the later chapters as Sam expressed many of the feelings/emotions I have buried deep down inside and had no idea how to deal with.
This book is a phenomenal resource in this current day and age where father’s are doing a very poor job of educating their sons about their masculinity and sex. I highly recommend listening to this book.
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- D. Barry
- 12-12-24
Deeply healing
This is a deep and profound vision for male sexuality. Very thoughtful and heartfelt and healthy. Vast improvement over the toxic advice that comes out of the evangelical world over the last few decades.
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- Lisa A. Barber
- 12-14-24
This book fills a much needed deficit in our culture
It is refreshing to hear sexuality discussed with such authenticity and emotional maturity in a biblically sound and scientifically correct manner. This book fills a gaping hole in the Christian ecosphere. I highly recommend this book. Mark Barber DO -Board Certified in Family Medicine.
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- Amazon Customer
- 01-15-25
Healing After Purity Culture
This book is fantastic. I highly recommend it. I will be giving away many copies.
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- Sandra
- 06-24-24
A must read!
Sam brings new light and meaning to healthy male sexuality in The Church and beyond. Men have been stunted by The Church’s doomsday messages regarding male sexuality and insatiable lust & desire. These messages often are like a self-fulfilling prophecy. The damaging messages most Christian sex books for men are inundated with, Sam kindly sets right.
With Sam’s careful and thoughtful reintroduction into a man’s true lover heart, he gives hope for present and future generations of men to delve into their stories and reclaim innocence. With this book and hopefully others like it to come, we can begin to turn the tide and see men rise up to what God created them to be in their sexuality.
As a mother of two boys, it has been my heart to relearn what healthy sexuality is for men. My husband and I decided to read this book together and it has been so insightful and stirred up many good conversations. We were the product of purity culture and only in the last few years have figured out that purity culture and all we were taught and read was really at the root of some of our deepest struggles in marriage. We desperately want better for our boys as they grow and become men and know that we cannot pass on what we do not hold ourselves. It is in this process of relearning that Sam’s book came out. What a blessing!
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- Amazon Customer
- 09-22-24
Such a pivotal book, one for the ages!
To say that I loved this book is an understatement. It’s truly one for the ages because it helps us to understand the deepest dive about humanity and the ways we have both desired and hurt our sexual bonds, plus it offers many great tips for those of us raising kids also. Love the concept of many smaller and more grace-filled talks about sex with our kids and teens versus one half-talk that’s awkward and lacking.
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- Denzel Bridges
- 08-10-24
Absolute, edifying blessing
I found this book in my recommendations when I felt in my heart of hearts that something was off, if not missing. This book helped me explore many of those feelings and I feel my heart beat stronger for it. Will absolutely revisit it real soon! Thank you Sam Jolman and God bless!
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- Lance Sellon
- 11-15-24
Gritty and Healing - Immediately Reading Again
I ignored my cognitive, physiological, and spiritual trauma regarding my masculine sexuality for 30+ years. Jolman invited and lead me into an approachable discussion with myself. Healing enroute.
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- Raymond Terwilliger
- 11-24-24
Deeply Healing and Hopefull
Can't recommend this book enough for anyone who struggles with unwanted sexual behaviors. This book gives one a new and fresh perspective on what it means to a awaken the heart of the man God created to love and make a real difference in this dark world.
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- Terri S.
- 08-08-24
Genuine healing for male masculinity!
Sam is very genuine and very real. Regaining your innocence and awe and virility are things I never thought were possible! But they are! Jesus makes all things new and Sam has helped us men so much further along the journey!
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