
The Top 10 Ways to Ruin the First Day of School
Ten-Year Anniversary Edition
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wishlist failed.
Adding to library failed
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed

Get 2 free audiobooks during trial.
Buy for $14.95
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
-
Narrated by:
-
Dustin Ebaugh
-
By:
-
Ken Derby
About this listen
Anthony Madison, a.k.a. Tony Baloney, can't get enough of the Late Show with David Letterman. He loves the Late Show and will stop at nothing to get himself on the program. But to get from Kansas City to New York City, he'll have to pull out all the stops. With his own brand of Top Ten lists, and stunts that range from photocopying his hinder to taking to the field in a bear suit at a professional football game, Tony takes the NFL, MTV, New York City, the Hells Angels, his teacher, friends, family, and listeners on an uproarious ride to remember.
©2004 Kenneth Derby (P)2014 Kenneth DerbyListeners also enjoyed...
-
Restart
- By: Gordon Korman
- Narrated by: Jonathan Todd Ross, Laura Knight Keating, Ramon de Ocampo, and others
- Length: 6 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
New York Times best-selling author Gordon Korman harkens back to his No More Dead Dogs days in this stand-alone that takes a tone more serious than you've ever heard from him before. A boy who's been a bully and hanging out with the wrong friends gets a new start after a memory-loss-inducing accident. But can someone really change who he is, or will the old him merely come back over time?
-
-
Ehhhh
- By James ODonnell on 07-03-18
By: Gordon Korman
-
The Tiger Rising
- By: Kate DiCamillo
- Narrated by: Dylan Baker
- Length: 2 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
From the best-selling author of Because of Winn-Dixie comes the moving story of an 11-year-old boy, Rob Horton, who finds a caged tiger in the woods behind the hotel where he lives with his father. With the help of his new friend, Sistine Bailey, Rob must decide what to do with his discovery and at the same time come to terms with his past.
-
-
amazing
- By Anonymous User on 08-29-09
By: Kate DiCamillo
-
Frindle
- By: Andrew Clements
- Narrated by: Keith Nobbs
- Length: 1 hr and 40 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
He really just likes to liven things up at school -- and he's always had plenty of great ideas. When Nick learns some interesting information about how words are created, suddenly he's got the inspiration for his best plan ever: the frindle. Who says a pen has to be called a pen? Why not call it a frindle? Things begin innocently enough as Nick gets his friends to use the new word. Then other people in town start saying frindle. Soon the school is in an uproar, and Nick has become a local hero.
-
-
Melts my Heart
- By KiAnna Bobbins on 04-19-15
By: Andrew Clements
-
Fish in a Tree
- By: Lynda Hunt
- Narrated by: Kathleen McInerney
- Length: 5 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Ally has been smart enough to fool a lot of smart people. Every time she lands in a new school, she is able to hide her inability to read by creating clever yet disruptive distractions. She is afraid to ask for help; after all, how can you cure dumb? However, her newest teacher Mr. Daniels sees the bright, creative kid underneath the trouble maker. With his help, Ally learns not to be so hard on herself and that dyslexia is nothing to be ashamed of.
-
-
Great book but...not just dyslexia
- By Jennifer Hurst on 12-31-15
By: Lynda Hunt
-
Blood on the River
- James Town, 1607
- By: Elisa Carbone
- Narrated by: Bryan Kennedy
- Length: 5 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Twelve-year-old Samuel Collier is a lowly commoner on the streets of London. So when he becomes the page of Captain John Smith and boards the Susan Constant, bound for the New World, he can’t believe his good fortune. He’s heard that gold washes ashore with every tide. But beginning with the stormy journey and his first contact with the native people, he realizes that the New World is nothing like he imagined. The lush Virginia shore where they establish the colony of James Town is both beautiful and forbidding, and it’s hard to know who’s a friend or foe.
-
-
Great listen
- By TV lover on 05-02-21
By: Elisa Carbone
-
The Pushcart War
- By: Jean Merrill
- Narrated by: Mark Hammer
- Length: 4 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
This irresistibly funny tale of the conflict between New York City’s pushcart peddlers and truck drivers is the best satire of war ever written for children. With captivating warmth and humor, The Pushcart War teaches young listeners invaluable lessons about the strategies, politics, and consequences of war.
-
-
An absolute joy for kids and adults
- By Jonathan Teller-Elsberg on 07-01-17
By: Jean Merrill
-
Restart
- By: Gordon Korman
- Narrated by: Jonathan Todd Ross, Laura Knight Keating, Ramon de Ocampo, and others
- Length: 6 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
New York Times best-selling author Gordon Korman harkens back to his No More Dead Dogs days in this stand-alone that takes a tone more serious than you've ever heard from him before. A boy who's been a bully and hanging out with the wrong friends gets a new start after a memory-loss-inducing accident. But can someone really change who he is, or will the old him merely come back over time?
-
-
Ehhhh
- By James ODonnell on 07-03-18
By: Gordon Korman
-
The Tiger Rising
- By: Kate DiCamillo
- Narrated by: Dylan Baker
- Length: 2 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
From the best-selling author of Because of Winn-Dixie comes the moving story of an 11-year-old boy, Rob Horton, who finds a caged tiger in the woods behind the hotel where he lives with his father. With the help of his new friend, Sistine Bailey, Rob must decide what to do with his discovery and at the same time come to terms with his past.
-
-
amazing
- By Anonymous User on 08-29-09
By: Kate DiCamillo
-
Frindle
- By: Andrew Clements
- Narrated by: Keith Nobbs
- Length: 1 hr and 40 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
He really just likes to liven things up at school -- and he's always had plenty of great ideas. When Nick learns some interesting information about how words are created, suddenly he's got the inspiration for his best plan ever: the frindle. Who says a pen has to be called a pen? Why not call it a frindle? Things begin innocently enough as Nick gets his friends to use the new word. Then other people in town start saying frindle. Soon the school is in an uproar, and Nick has become a local hero.
-
-
Melts my Heart
- By KiAnna Bobbins on 04-19-15
By: Andrew Clements
-
Fish in a Tree
- By: Lynda Hunt
- Narrated by: Kathleen McInerney
- Length: 5 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Ally has been smart enough to fool a lot of smart people. Every time she lands in a new school, she is able to hide her inability to read by creating clever yet disruptive distractions. She is afraid to ask for help; after all, how can you cure dumb? However, her newest teacher Mr. Daniels sees the bright, creative kid underneath the trouble maker. With his help, Ally learns not to be so hard on herself and that dyslexia is nothing to be ashamed of.
-
-
Great book but...not just dyslexia
- By Jennifer Hurst on 12-31-15
By: Lynda Hunt
-
Blood on the River
- James Town, 1607
- By: Elisa Carbone
- Narrated by: Bryan Kennedy
- Length: 5 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Twelve-year-old Samuel Collier is a lowly commoner on the streets of London. So when he becomes the page of Captain John Smith and boards the Susan Constant, bound for the New World, he can’t believe his good fortune. He’s heard that gold washes ashore with every tide. But beginning with the stormy journey and his first contact with the native people, he realizes that the New World is nothing like he imagined. The lush Virginia shore where they establish the colony of James Town is both beautiful and forbidding, and it’s hard to know who’s a friend or foe.
-
-
Great listen
- By TV lover on 05-02-21
By: Elisa Carbone
-
The Pushcart War
- By: Jean Merrill
- Narrated by: Mark Hammer
- Length: 4 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
This irresistibly funny tale of the conflict between New York City’s pushcart peddlers and truck drivers is the best satire of war ever written for children. With captivating warmth and humor, The Pushcart War teaches young listeners invaluable lessons about the strategies, politics, and consequences of war.
-
-
An absolute joy for kids and adults
- By Jonathan Teller-Elsberg on 07-01-17
By: Jean Merrill
-
The War That Saved My Life
- By: Kimberly Brubaker Bradley
- Narrated by: Jayne Entwistle
- Length: 7 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Nine-year-old Ada has never left her one-room apartment. Her mother is too humiliated by Ada's twisted foot to let her outside. So when her little brother Jamie is shipped out of London to escape the war, Ada doesn't waste a minute - she sneaks out to join him. So begins a new adventure of Ada, and for Susan Smith, the woman who is forced to take the two kids in. As Ada teaches herself to ride a pony, learns to read, and watches for German spies, she begins to trust Susan.
-
-
Great historical Fiction -- 2016 Newbery Honor
- By Mel on 01-05-17
-
Because of Mr. Terupt
- Mr. Terupt, Book 1
- By: Rob Buyea
- Narrated by: Arielle DeLisle, Mike Chamberlain
- Length: 4 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Seven students are about to have their lives changed by one amazing teacher in this school story sequel. It’s the start of a new year at Snow Hill School, and seven students find themselves thrown together in Mr. Terupt’s fifth grade class. There’s...Jessica, the new girl, smart and perceptive, who’s having a hard time fitting in; Alexia, a bully, your friend one second, your enemy the next; Peter, class prankster and troublemaker; Luke, the brain; Danielle, who never stands up for herself; shy Anna, whose home situation makes her an outcast; and Jeffrey, who hates school.
-
-
Ableist Language
- By Guerrero Hall on 08-16-20
By: Rob Buyea
-
Out of My Mind
- By: Sharon M. Draper
- Narrated by: Sisi Aisha Johnson
- Length: 6 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Melody is not like most people. She cannot walk or talk, but she has a photographic memory; she can remember every detail of everything she has ever experienced. She is smarter than most of the adults who try to diagnose her and smarter than her classmates in her integrated classroom - the very same classmates who dismiss her as mentally challenged because she cannot tell them otherwise. But Melody refuses to be defined by cerebral palsy.
-
-
♡
- By KiNg35 on 11-17-16
By: Sharon M. Draper
-
School's First Day of School
- By: Adam Rex, Christian Robinson
- Narrated by: Erin Bennett, Ron Butler, Pierce Cravens
- Length: 8 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
It's the first day of school at Frederick Douglass Elementary and everyone's just a little bit nervous, especially the school itself. The school has a rough start, but as the day goes on, he soon recovers when he sees that he's not the only one going through first-day jitters.
By: Adam Rex, and others
-
Ghost
- By: Jason Reynolds
- Narrated by: Guy Lockard
- Length: 3 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Ghost. Lu. Patina. Sunny. Four kids from wildly different backgrounds with personalities that are explosive when they clash. But they are also four kids chosen for an elite middle school track team - a team that could qualify them for the Junior Olympics if they can get their acts together. They all have a lot to lose, but they also have a lot to prove, not only to each other, but to themselves.
-
-
Beautifully Written, Unique Storyline, Many Lessons
- By Diana Cherry on 07-02-17
By: Jason Reynolds
-
I Promise
- By: LeBron James
- Narrated by: Gloria James
- Length: 4 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Just a kid from Akron, Ohio, who is dedicated to uplifting youth everywhere, LeBron James knows the key to a better future is to excel in school, do your best, and keep your family close. I Promise is a lively and inspiring story that reminds us that tomorrow’s success starts with the promises we make to ourselves and our community today. Featuring James's upbeat, rhyming text, this book has the power to inspire all children and families to be their best.
-
-
Beautiful and Encouraging Thoughts
- By Shaez on 10-13-20
By: LeBron James
-
My Mouth Is a Volcano
- By: Julia Cook
- Narrated by: Julia Cook
- Length: 8 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Louis always interrupts! All of his thoughts are very important to him, and when he has something to say, his words rumble and grumble in his tummy, they wiggle and jiggle on his tongue, and then they push on his teeth, right before he erupts (or interrupts)! But when others begin to interrupt Louis, he learns how to respectfully wait for his turn to talk. Told from Louis' perspective, this story provides parents, teachers, and counselors with an entertaining way to teach children the value of respecting others, by listening and waiting for their turn to speak.
-
-
Relatable
- By Joseph on 04-24-25
By: Julia Cook
-
The World Needs Who You Were Made to Be
- By: Joanna Gaines, Julianna Swaney - illustrator
- Narrated by: Emmie Gaines, Joanna Gaines
- Length: 3 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In the number one New York Times best seller, The World Needs Who You Were Made to Be, Joanna Gaines celebrates how creativity and acceptance can come together to make for a bright and beautiful adventure. The book, illustrated by Julianna Swaney, follows a group of children as they each build their very own hot-air balloons. As the kids work together, leaning into their own skills and processes, we discover that the same is true for life — it's more beautiful and vibrant when our differences are celebrated.
-
-
Inspirational
- By Steven on 11-13-20
By: Joanna Gaines, and others
-
I Can't Do That, Yet: Growth Mindset
- By: Esther Pia. Cordova
- Narrated by: Amanda Poff
- Length: 7 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Enna is a girl who doesn't believe in herself and often utters the phrase, "I can't do that!" One night in a dream, she sees all the possible future versions of herself, discovering that she can be any of those versions with time, knowledge, and dedication. She develops a growth mindset throughout her journey, and instead of saying, "I can't do that," she learns to say, "I can't do that yet!"
-
-
Just not what I thought it would be!
- By michelle anastasio on 02-12-20
-
Be a Perfect Person in Just Three Days!
- By: Stephen Manes
- Narrated by: Ric Chetter
- Length: 51 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Is it possible? Can an ordinary human being really become a perfect person in three short days? Milo Crinkley thought so. What gave him the idea was a book that fell on his head one day at the library - a book with the impressive title Be a Perfect Person in Just Three Days! The author, Dr. K. Pinkerton Silverfish, did look kind of weird, but he claimed to be the world's leading authority on perfection.
By: Stephen Manes
-
The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora
- By: Pablo Cartaya
- Narrated by: Pablo Cartaya
- Length: 5 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
For Arturo, summertime in Miami means playing basketball until dark, sipping mango smoothies, and keeping cool under banyan trees. And maybe a few shifts as junior lunchtime dishwasher at Abuela's restaurant. Maybe. But this summer also includes Carmen, a cute poetry enthusiast who moves into Arturo's apartment complex and turns his stomach into a deep fryer. He almost doesn't notice the smarmy land developer who rolls into town and threatens to change it.
-
-
Noice
- By Lilith on 08-14-19
By: Pablo Cartaya
-
Captain Nobody
- By: Dean Pitchford
- Narrated by: Dean Pitchford
- Length: 4 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Growing up in the shadow of his football star brother, Chris, Newt Newman has never felt particularly special. When Chris is knocked into a coma, Newt's two best friends decide that taking him out for Halloween is the best way to cheer him up. Using some of Chris's old, oversized clothes, Newt creates his best costume ever - Captain Nobody!
-
-
Wonderful!!
- By Canyon Girl on 03-16-17
By: Dean Pitchford
Any additional comments?
This is a fun-filled, bigger-than-life story of how fifth-grader Anthony Madison gets himself invited to be a guest on the Late Show with David Letterman. Dustin Ebaugh does a masterful job of telling the story with plenty of energy and humor and a variety of voices. Well worth a listen!A rollicking adventure!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
So funny
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
I would give this Tory way more stars if I could🤩🤩
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.