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The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce

By: Judith Wallerstein, Julia Lewis, Sandra Blakeslee
Narrated by: Kate McIntire
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Publisher's summary

Twenty-five years ago, Judith Wallerstein began talking to a group of 131 children whose parents were all going through a divorce. From those conversations have come two best sellers: Surviving the Breakup and Second Chances. This third volume of the longitudinal study, The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce, brings all of her research up to the present and shows for the first time how children are affected by divorce long into adulthood.

Using a comparison group of adults who grew up in the same communities but whose parents never divorced, Wallerstein shows how adult children of divorce essentially view life differently from their peers in intact homes, and also sheds light on the question that so many parents confront: whether to stay unhappily married or to divorce. This book is a landmark cultural event that will change the way all of us view divorce.

©2000 Judith Wallerstein (P)2000 HighBridge Company
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Critic reviews

"This is a highly understandable narrative on how children are affected by divorce." ( AudioFile)
"McIntire reads with compassion and warmth, presents the psychologist's startling findings....An important contribution to our understanding of what is a central social problem." ( Publishers Weekly)

What listeners say about The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

A must read for every parent

This book contains a lot of unknown information about the effects of Divorce on children. I highly recommend it to any parent.

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1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

I am not alone

I chose this book because of a TikTok reference. I needed to know about myself, being a child of divorce that finalized when I was 5, I thought I would discover stats about me. But what I found out is that there is so much more about my personality that I didn’t know was due to my parent’s divorce. They way I go about life, talking to others, and how I think about myself. And the best part that I wasn’t expecting was identifying with millions of other souls in this world whom I don’t know but we may share similar characteristics due to being children of divorce. Now I can look at myself more objectively and truly say- I’m excited for therapy. Thank you for writing this book and doing the study.

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Very valuable

This helped me see some things to be aware of for my kids that I maybe wouldn't have thought of, and gave some ideas for how to handle sharing the parenting that I also wouldn't have thought of -- very valuable as I was at a loss on some issues as I go through a divorce against my wishes.

It was an interesting format, giving statistics through the framework of individual stories.

The main drawback to me was the narrators voice reminded me of my son's audiobook of The Velveteen Rabbit. It just didn't quite fit the subject to me, but it wasn't so bad that I stopped listening.

It also would've been nice to have a review of conclusions from each story at the end -- a summary of lessons learned to help in remembering what not to do.

Overall, I'm very glad to have read this. I feel a lot more prepared in moving forward in a difficult and unknown world.

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1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Child of Divorce

It was hard to hear sometimes. this is my second time listening to this book. I loved it then. It makes me mindful about the issues that surround children of divorce.

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Extremely Eyeopening

I don’t usually write reviews but this book was full of valuable information about the long-term effects of divorce. Coming from an intact family, though unhappy, I had no idea about the profound effects of divorce. All these years growing up I was praying for my parents to divorce because I could see my mom was unhappy in the marriage. After reading this book, I have to say I am thankful to my mom that she stayed. This has helped me understand the issues that my husband is struggling with as a child of divorce. Very enlightening!

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

A must for understanding

This book helped me understand the many effects divorce and dysfunctional families can have on our adult life. It helped me see the world a little better through the eyes of my husband, a child of multiple divorces.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

revealing

Our society has changed the way we see marriage. if you're children of divorcee parents you will realize that some of the issues you have in your relationships come from your experience growing up in this environment. if you're thinking of divorce know that your children will struggle in certain areas when they grow up if you divorce. if struggling, prayer and counseling is needed.

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  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Slightly off

Any additional comments?

If you are following along with the actual book, things are not exactly right. Just something to note.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

If you are on the fence…listen to this first

If you’re on the fence about divorce, this is a must listen! Describing the atomic bomb to your childrens’ lives was just what I needed to hear. Now I get better!

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Excellent insight

I was able to gain significant insight into my own as well as my children's experience with divorce, through reading this book. Thank you to all who were involved in creating it and making it available.

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1 person found this helpful