Not 'Just Friends'
Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity
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Narrated by:
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Laural Merlington
About this listen
Good people in good marriages are having affairs. The workplace and the Internet have become fertile breeding grounds for “friendships” that can slowly and insidiously turn into love affairs. Yet you can protect your relationship from emotional or sexual betrayal by recognizing the red flags that mark the stages of slipping into an improper, dangerous intimacy that can threaten your marriage.
©2004 Shirley Glass, Jean Coppock Staeheli (P)2012 Brilliance Audio, Inc.Listeners also enjoyed...
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In Ten Stupid Things Couples Do to Mess Up Their Relationships, Dr. Laura Schlessinger calls for a return to traditional courtship. Courtship allows couples and their families to get acquainted with each other over a longer period of time, and provides structure and guidelines for that important process.
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No brainer ideas that we can forget
- By Ali0531 on 07-06-15
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Living with the Passive-Aggressive Man
- Coping with Hidden Aggression - From the Bedroom to the Boardroom
- By: Scott Wetzler Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Matthew Josdal
- Length: 6 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Do you know one of these men? The catch-me-if-you-can lover...Phil's romantic and passionate one minute, distant and cold the next. The deviously manipulative coworker or boss...Jack denies resenting Nora's rapid rise in the company, but when they're assigned to work together on a project, he undermines her. The obstructionist, procrastinating husband...Bob keeps telling his wife he'll finish the painting job he began years ago, but he never seems to get around to it. These are all classic examples of the passive aggressive man.
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A good review of the PA type man
- By Dew on 12-29-17
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Relationship Breakthrough
- How to Create Outstanding Relationships in Every Area of Your Life
- By: Cloe Madanes, Anthony Robbins
- Narrated by: Aimee Jolson
- Length: 6 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Everyone faces the challenges of making relationships work. Whether with spouses, family members, friends, lovers, or colleagues, relationships have the power to make one feel happy, frustrated, or miserable. In Relationship Breakthrough, Cloe Madanes - an expert in creating healing, empowering relationships - gives listeners vital tools to transform their relationships and their lives. Madanes's cutting-edge methods produce real results and create rewarding, sustainable relationships.
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Disappointed
- By Dee on 01-10-16
By: Cloe Madanes, and others
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How to Help Your Spouse Heal from Your Affair
- A Compact Manual for the Unfaithful
- By: Linda J. MacDonald
- Narrated by: Tamara Marston
- Length: 2 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Once an affair comes to light, many unfaithful persons "wake up" and want to save their marriages. Yet they usually make terrible mistakes in their bungled attempts to win back their partners' trust. Linda J. MacDonald, an infidelity specialist for 23 years, has identified behaviors and attitudes that determine unfaithful persons' success or failure to mend their marriages after the wrecking ball of an affair. How to Help Your Spouse Heal from Your Affair offers practical advice for those who've strayed and want a second chance.
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Very Helpful
- By Peppertaz on 03-04-17
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Should I Stay or Should I Go?
- A Guide to Knowing If Your Relationship Can - and Should - Be Saved
- By: Lundy Bancroft, JAC Patrissi
- Narrated by: Stephen R. Thorne
- Length: 13 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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In this supportive and straightforward guide, Lundy Bancroft, the author of Why Does He Do That?, and communication specialist JAC Patrissi offer a way for women to practically take stock of their relationships and move forward, with or without their partners.
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Paradigm Shift
- By Sydnee Adams-Hancock on 04-08-16
By: Lundy Bancroft, and others
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Love Is Never Enough
- How Couples Can Overcome Misunderstandings, Resolve Conflicts, and Solve Relationship Problems Through Cognitive Therapy
- By: Aaron T. Beck MD
- Narrated by: Bob Dio
- Length: 12 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Love Is Never Enough explores the most common problems in marriage: the power of negative thinking, disillusionment, rigid rules and expectations, and miscommunication. These issues can be approached through cognitive therapy, in which thinking through and reasoning are used to counteract the poor communication that so often erodes relationships. With eloquence and accessibility, Aaron T. Beck, MD, shows how effective communication can restore and strengthen the ties and bonds between couples.
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Great book with help for sticky points
- By Ernest Maifrini on 10-22-16
By: Aaron T. Beck MD
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Love Understood
- The Science of Who, How and Why We Love
- By: Laura Mucha
- Narrated by: Laura Mucha
- Length: 10 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Poets, philosophers and artists have been trying to explain romantic love for centuries, but it remains one of the most complex and intimidating terrains to navigate. Most people are afraid to be open and honest about their relationships...until now. For Love Understood, Laura Mucha has interviewed hundreds of strangers, from the ages of 8 to 95 in more than 40 countries, asking them to share their most personal stories, feelings and insights about love.
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Insightful, informative, and thought provoking
- By James on 03-05-19
By: Laura Mucha
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How Can I Forgive You?
- The Courage to Forgive, the Freedom Not To
- By: Janis A. Spring, Michael Spring
- Narrated by: Coleen Marlo
- Length: 7 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
Until now, we have been taught that forgiveness is good for us and that good people forgive. Dr. Spring, a gifted therapist and the award-winning author of After the Affair, proposes a radical, life-affirming alternative that lets us overcome the corrosive effects of hate and get on with our lives - without forgiving. She also offers a powerful and unconventional model for genuine forgiveness - one that asks as much of the offender as it does of us.
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I'm a Christian
- By jelady on 06-14-19
By: Janis A. Spring, and others
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Worthy of Her Trust
- What You Need to Do to Rebuild Sexual Integrity and Win Her Back
- By: Stephen Arterburn, Jason B. Martinkus
- Narrated by: Tom Parks, Kate Rudd
- Length: 6 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Trust can be rebuilt in your marriage! With patient, loving, self-sacrificing effort, it's possible that one day your wife will risk her heart with you again. And she may even have more respect and love for you than before. In Worthy of Her Trust, Jason Martinkus relates how he repaired his own marriage after revelations of sexual addiction. Along with Stephen Arterburn, Jason offers exercises and tools to help your marriage begin again.
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Best Book on Building Trust
- By Layne & Rylan on 03-05-15
By: Stephen Arterburn, and others
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The Happy Stepmother
- By: Rachelle Katz
- Narrated by: Gayle Hendrix
- Length: 8 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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You found the love of your life, and you vowed to have, to hold, and to stepmother. You always thought that in time you'd grow to be the perfect, loving family. So why does it seem that the harder you try, the more unappreciated you feel? As a stepmother, therapist, and founder of the popular stepsforstepmothers.com, Dr. Rachelle Katz knows all too well how challenging stepmotherhood can be. Based on thousands of in-depth interviews and the latest research, she's created a powerful program to help you.
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horrible
- By Marcia R on 02-07-17
By: Rachelle Katz
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Deal Breakers
- When to Work on a Relationship and When to Walk Away
- By: Dr. Bethany Marshall
- Narrated by: Renée Raudman
- Length: 5 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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This is a book about men. Not all men, just emotionally unhealthy men. The ones who make you question, "Is it him or is it me? Am I making too big a deal out of this? I try to tell him how I feel, but he says I'm overreacting or needy or it's all my fault". Relationships are hard work, but how hard should they be? When do you know you are struggling too hard to make a relationship succeed?
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I Cried Thru The First Thirty Minutes...
- By Kimberley on 02-20-08
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After the Affair, Third Edition
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From a clinical psychologist who served as a clinical supervisor in the Department of Psychology at Yale University, received the CPA’s award for Distinguished Contribution to the Practice of Psychology, and has treated couples and trained therapists for over four decades, this newly updated, award-winning book provides concrete, proven strategies for those who seek to survive their partner’s infidelity and to rebuild the relationship after an affair. This new third edition of After the Affair helps guide both hurt and unfaithful partners through three stages of healing.
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Victim blaming!! Stay away
- By OO on 08-24-23
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How to Help Your Spouse Heal from Your Affair
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Once an affair comes to light, many unfaithful persons "wake up" and want to save their marriages. Yet they usually make terrible mistakes in their bungled attempts to win back their partners' trust. Linda J. MacDonald, an infidelity specialist for 23 years, has identified behaviors and attitudes that determine unfaithful persons' success or failure to mend their marriages after the wrecking ball of an affair. How to Help Your Spouse Heal from Your Affair offers practical advice for those who've strayed and want a second chance.
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Very Helpful
- By Peppertaz on 03-04-17
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Questions to Ask a Cheater
- Questions to Ask a Cheating Spouse to Gain Closure and Heal Your Heart
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Talking to your partner after they’ve cheated is undeniably one of the toughest conversations you’ll ever have with them. You’ll be bubbling over with a ton of emotions - anger, upset, and frustration. The cheating partner will also have their own emotions to deal with - dread, uncertainty, and the shame of their actions.
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Thank you
- By Sam on 04-19-23
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The Courage to Stay
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Rebuild the lost trust in your relationship, heal from the trauma of infidelity, and create a stronger, more resilient marriage with a proven program based on 22 years of clinical experience. Nothing hurts more than discovering your partner has been unfaithful. But an affair doesn’t mean your partner doesn’t love you or that your relationship is over. Many couples have recovered from infidelity and saved their marriages. You can too.
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realness
- By Amazon Customer on 04-18-24
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Transcending Post-Infidelity Stress Disorder
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The phrase "broken heart" belies the real trauma behind the all-too-common occurrence of infidelity. Psychologist Dennis Ortman likens the psychological aftermath of sexual betrayal to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) in its origin and symptoms, including anxiety, irritability, rage, emotional numbing, and flashbacks. Dr. Ortman sees recovery as a spiritual journey and draws on the wisdom of diverse faiths, from Christianity to Buddhism. He also offers exercises to deepen recovery, such as guided meditations and journaling.
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Religious Slant Takes Away from Seriousness
- By Mr. Xtabay on 07-16-20
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Infidelity
- The Best Worst Thing that Could Happen to Your Marriage: The Complete Guide on How to Heal from Affairs
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Infidelity: The Best Worst Thing That Could Happen to Your Marriage was written to help couples navigate their way to healing after experiencing the devastating impact of physical and emotional affairs. Listening to this book will allow you the opportunity to process the affair, assess the damage, and make an informed choice about the future of your relationship.
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night time bed story
- By BrownGuy78 on 09-20-22
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After the Affair, Third Edition
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From a clinical psychologist who served as a clinical supervisor in the Department of Psychology at Yale University, received the CPA’s award for Distinguished Contribution to the Practice of Psychology, and has treated couples and trained therapists for over four decades, this newly updated, award-winning book provides concrete, proven strategies for those who seek to survive their partner’s infidelity and to rebuild the relationship after an affair. This new third edition of After the Affair helps guide both hurt and unfaithful partners through three stages of healing.
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Victim blaming!! Stay away
- By OO on 08-24-23
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How to Help Your Spouse Heal from Your Affair
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Once an affair comes to light, many unfaithful persons "wake up" and want to save their marriages. Yet they usually make terrible mistakes in their bungled attempts to win back their partners' trust. Linda J. MacDonald, an infidelity specialist for 23 years, has identified behaviors and attitudes that determine unfaithful persons' success or failure to mend their marriages after the wrecking ball of an affair. How to Help Your Spouse Heal from Your Affair offers practical advice for those who've strayed and want a second chance.
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Very Helpful
- By Peppertaz on 03-04-17
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Questions to Ask a Cheater
- Questions to Ask a Cheating Spouse to Gain Closure and Heal Your Heart
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Talking to your partner after they’ve cheated is undeniably one of the toughest conversations you’ll ever have with them. You’ll be bubbling over with a ton of emotions - anger, upset, and frustration. The cheating partner will also have their own emotions to deal with - dread, uncertainty, and the shame of their actions.
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Thank you
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The Courage to Stay
- How to Heal from an Affair and Save Your Marriage
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- Narrated by: Kathy Nickerson PhD
- Length: 5 hrs and 53 mins
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Rebuild the lost trust in your relationship, heal from the trauma of infidelity, and create a stronger, more resilient marriage with a proven program based on 22 years of clinical experience. Nothing hurts more than discovering your partner has been unfaithful. But an affair doesn’t mean your partner doesn’t love you or that your relationship is over. Many couples have recovered from infidelity and saved their marriages. You can too.
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realness
- By Amazon Customer on 04-18-24
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Transcending Post-Infidelity Stress Disorder
- The Six Stages of Healing
- By: Dennis C. Ortman PhD
- Narrated by: Paul Brion
- Length: 9 hrs and 15 mins
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Overall
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Performance
-
Story
The phrase "broken heart" belies the real trauma behind the all-too-common occurrence of infidelity. Psychologist Dennis Ortman likens the psychological aftermath of sexual betrayal to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) in its origin and symptoms, including anxiety, irritability, rage, emotional numbing, and flashbacks. Dr. Ortman sees recovery as a spiritual journey and draws on the wisdom of diverse faiths, from Christianity to Buddhism. He also offers exercises to deepen recovery, such as guided meditations and journaling.
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Religious Slant Takes Away from Seriousness
- By Mr. Xtabay on 07-16-20
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Infidelity
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- Narrated by: Daan Stone
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Infidelity: The Best Worst Thing That Could Happen to Your Marriage was written to help couples navigate their way to healing after experiencing the devastating impact of physical and emotional affairs. Listening to this book will allow you the opportunity to process the affair, assess the damage, and make an informed choice about the future of your relationship.
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night time bed story
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After a Good Man Cheats
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This audiobook is a practical action plan that will walk you through the first stages after your wife has discovered your infidelity. Learn the tools to fix your marriage. Avoid the (sometimes fatal) mistakes I've seen so many men make.
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Horrible, but with some helpful information
- By A reader on 10-15-21
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The State of Affairs
- Rethinking Infidelity
- By: Esther Perel
- Narrated by: Esther Perel
- Length: 11 hrs and 57 mins
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An affair: It can rob a couple of their relationship, their happiness, their very identity. And yet this extremely common human experience is so poorly understood. Adultery has existed since marriage was invented, and so, too, the prohibition against it - in fact it has a tenacity that marriage can only envy. Iconic couples' therapist and best-selling author of Mating in Captivity Esther Perel returns with a groundbreaking and provocative look at infidelity, arguing for a more nuanced and less judgmental conversation about our transgressions.
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A compassionate approach
- By Anonymous User on 10-16-17
By: Esther Perel
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Cheating in a Nutshell
- What Infidelity Does to the Victim
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After being cheated on, individuals may feel battered by emotion, with nowhere to turn, and no roadmap in sight. International relationship advice authors Wayne and Tamara Mitchell provide that roadmap through Cheating in a Nutshell: What Infidelity Does to the Victim.
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Very anti-forgiveness
- By Mom Of Many on 09-13-24
By: Wayne Mitchell, and others
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The Betrayal Bind
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- By: Michelle Mays LPC CSAT-S
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What happens when your partner, your primary person, in an instant, becomes a source of danger and pain? The Betrayal Bind introduces new language, concepts, and imagery to explore the crucial relational dilemma that betrayed partners face when their significant other is unsafe to connect to, yet connection is the key to healing.
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Sex With a Cheating Person?! NO!
- By Primetime on 12-19-23
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After the Affair
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- By: Janis Abrahms Spring Ph.D., Michael Spring
- Narrated by: Janis Abrahams Spring Ph.D.
- Length: 2 hrs and 57 mins
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Many times infidelity is the death of a relationship - but an affair doesn't have to mean the end. Realistic ways of coping with pain, restoring self-esteem, and rebuilding trust and intimacy are available for the first time on audio in this guide by Dr. Janis Abrahms Spring. Dr. Spring is one of the few clinical psychologists in the US who specializes in infidelity. She offers original and proven strategies to those seeking guidance, sympathy, and solutions, laying to rest blame and recrimination and focusing instead on recovery.
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OW vs. Lover
- By Sculpturades on 01-27-16
By: Janis Abrahms Spring Ph.D., and others
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How Can I Forgive You?
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Until now, we have been taught that forgiveness is good for us and that good people forgive. Dr. Spring, a gifted therapist and the award-winning author of After the Affair, proposes a radical, life-affirming alternative that lets us overcome the corrosive effects of hate and get on with our lives - without forgiving. She also offers a powerful and unconventional model for genuine forgiveness - one that asks as much of the offender as it does of us.
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I'm a Christian
- By jelady on 06-14-19
By: Janis A. Spring, and others
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Healing Your Spouse After Your Affair
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- By: Laura Redmond
- Narrated by: Siobhan Hallinan
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Story
Imagine the pain and devastation of discovering your partner has had an affair. The betrayal, the hurt, and the feeling of being torn apart from the person you once loved. You may feel like your world has been turned upside down, leaving you wondering if your relationship can ever be healed. But what if there was a way to mend the wounds and rebuild trust? This groundbreaking book reveals the secrets to healing your spouse after an affair, from understanding their perspective to providing the necessary support.
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Disappointed
- By Gabrielle LaGrandier on 05-26-24
By: Laura Redmond
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I Love You but I Don’t Trust You
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Is my relationship worth saving? Will the trust ever come back? How can things be good between us again? Whether broken trust is due to daily dishonesties, a monumental betrayal, or even a history of hurts from the past, it can put a relationship at risk. This is the first book to show you exactly what to do to restore trust in your relationship, regardless of how it was damaged.
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for betrayed women - not men!
- By annonymous on 07-22-18
By: Mira Kirshenbaum
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How Can I Forgive You? (Updated Edition)
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- By: Janis A. Spring PhD, Michael Spring - contributor
- Narrated by: Xe Sands
- Length: 7 hrs and 42 mins
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Until now, we've been taught that forgiveness is good for us and that good people forgive. Dr. Janis Abrahms Spring proposes a radical, life-affirming alternative that lets us overcome the corrosive effects of hate and get on with our lives—without forgiving. She also offers a powerful and unconventional model for earning genuine forgiveness—one that asks as much of the offender as it does of the hurt party.
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I read it twice Really helpful and clear
- By Amazon Customer on 12-13-23
By: Janis A. Spring PhD, and others
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Recovering from the Affair
- Your Guide to Saving Your Marriage After Emotional or Physical Infidelity
- By: Lee H. Baucom PhD
- Narrated by: Lee H. Baucom PhD
- Length: 4 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
Infidelity does not have to be the end of your marriage. Your marriage can recover and thrive after an affair. But only when you get to the roots of the problem, solve the issues, rebuild trust, and learn to move forward.
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Really Helped! Read it!
- By Sean McClasky on 10-08-24
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Anatomy of an Affair
- How Affairs, Attractions, and Addictions Develop, and How to Guard Your Marriage Against Them
- By: Dave Carder
- Narrated by: Tom Parks
- Length: 5 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
When it comes to adultery, never say, "It won't happen to me." Just when you think your marriage is safe from adultery is when you may be the most vulnerable. With eye-opening stories, clinical insights, and up-to-date data, Dave Carder reveals what adulterers learned the hard way - and what they want the rest of us to know to save us the pain.
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Hard to relate, as a non-evangelical
- By NANCY HALL on 01-18-19
By: Dave Carder
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Getting Past the Affair
- A Program to Help You Cope, Heal, and Move On - Together or Apart
- By: Kristina Coop Gordon PhD, Donald H. Baucom PhD, Douglas K. Snyder PhD
- Narrated by: Coleen Marlo
- Length: 11 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Discovering that a partner has been unfaithful hits you like an earthquake. Long after the first jolt, emotional aftershocks can make it difficult to be there for your family, manage your daily life, and think clearly about your options. Whether you want to end the relationship or piece things back together, Getting Past the Affair guides you through the initial trauma so you can understand what happened and why before deciding how to move forward.
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AudioBook needs PDF file
- By Mariama S Jalloh-Heyward on 02-26-19
By: Kristina Coop Gordon PhD, and others
What listeners say about Not 'Just Friends'
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- ilovefurrycritters
- 09-10-22
Excellent!
I could not put it down. I think anyone who is experiencing any type of extramarital affair well find this book quite helpful.
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- Viri Guerra
- 08-26-24
Great Info
Highly recommended, great recommendations to improve the marriage and avoid affairs. Easy to understand and a great read
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- Amazon Customer
- 08-19-20
A must read book if you are dealing with an infidelity
A excellent book about infidelity. It cove
rs everything. I have read several self help books on the subject,and this book clearly is the best. When it telling about recovery and healing and possibly making a marriage work. Almost impossible unless the other spouse is willing to read the book also. This way you’re both are on the same page, and know what is expected of each other to recover. Which in my case has not, so trying to recover a marriage on a one way street is effortless. I have read the book and then bought the Audible and listened to it. I highly recommend this book if you are trying to recover together, or if you just end up recovering alone. I give this book 5 stars. I don’t know if this is an allowed but I also recommend another book called Surviving Infidelity by Rona B. Subotnik, L.M.F.T., and Gloria G. Harris, Ph.D.
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- Nancy AMR
- 01-16-17
working towards sanity
If you could sum up Not 'Just Friends' in three words, what would they be?
There is a lot of good information - sometimes repetitive - only wish had heard it earlier..
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1 person found this helpful
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- M. Shep
- 06-06-22
A Good Book You'll Wish You Didn't Have to Read
I suspect if you're reading this book, you're likely in the aftermath of an affair that has rocked your marriage. While the book touches on all the different types of affairs and who gets involved in them the meat of the book is on affairs that start as friendships and turn into both emotional and physical affairs. These combined affairs are particularly destructive to the primary relationship, and have become more common as women achieve greater equality in society. If you're the betrayed spouse listening at times can be very painful, as you can easily imagine your wandering spouse going down the road Dr. Glass describes in the book. The only knock on the book is that it's nearly 20 years old and could use an update based on new trends and the role technology plays in affairs. Most of the advice is timeless though. A great read, but I really wish I wasn't compelled to read it...
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- Christian
- 11-02-22
Very Insightful
Was easy to listen to. Solid advice with data to back up. Just wish I found this book a long time ago. Thank you.
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- Heather
- 10-14-15
Good book to listen to with your partner.
My partner and I listened to this book after wounds started to heal from his sex addiction. It was reassuring to know that we had already done many of the suggested ideas to recover together. We got further value out of this book by listening at a time where we could pause and ask each other questions. We felt it sparked great closure conversations and dug just a little deeper than we had already dug.
The only reason I rated it a 4 instead of a 5 is because of the religious undertones. If you take those as just suggestions or with a grain of salt, it's fine. Its very difficult to find material like this that does not reference religion.
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6 people found this helpful
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- Asher
- 12-01-20
Phenomenal
This book is phenomenal for both therapists and married people. I will definitely reread this one.
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- Cary
- 06-19-17
Good resourcw
Great info to refer to in the future. There is is discussion from different perspectives and review of different scenarios.
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- Eduardo
- 03-12-18
A great book
this was great and helping I would recommend it to other people going through a rough time
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