The Valedictorian of Being Dead
The True Story of Dying Ten Times to Live
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Narrated by:
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Heather B. Armstrong
About this listen
From New York Times best-selling author and blogger Heather B. Armstrong comes an honest and irreverent memoir - reminiscent of the New York Times best seller Brain on Fire - about her experience as the third person ever to participate in an experimental treatment for depression involving 10 rounds of a chemically induced coma approximating brain death.
For years, Heather B. Armstrong has alluded to her struggle with depression on her website, dooce. It’s scattered throughout her archive, where it weaves its way through posts about pop culture, music, and motherhood. In 2016, Heather found herself in the depths of a depression she just couldn’t shake, an episode darker and longer than anything she had previously experienced. She had never felt so discouraged by the thought of waking up in the morning, and it threatened to destroy her life. For the sake of herself and her family, Heather decided to risk it all by participating in an experimental clinical trial.
Now, for the first time, Heather recalls the torturous 18 months of suicidal depression she endured and the monthlong experimental study in which doctors used propofol anesthesia to quiet all brain activity for a full 15 minutes before bringing her back from a flatline. Ten times. The experience wasn’t easy. Not for Heather or her family. But a switch was flipped, and Heather hasn’t experienced a single moment of suicidal depression since.
“Breathtakingly honest” (Lisa Genova, New York Times best-selling author), self-deprecating, and scientifically fascinating, The Valedictorian of Being Dead brings to light a groundbreaking new treatment for depression.
The Valedictorian of Being Dead was previously published with the subtitle “The True Story of Dying Ten Times to Live.”
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
©2019 Heather B. Armstrong (P)2019 Simon & SchusterListeners also enjoyed...
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Story
Thirty-four-year-old Rebecca Alexander is a psychotherapist, a spin instructor, a volunteer, and an athlete. She is also almost completely blind, with significantly deteriorated hearing. Not Fade Away is a deeply moving exploration of the obstacles we all face-physical, psychological, and philosophical. Rebecca's story is an exquisite reminder to live each day to its fullest.
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Loved this!
- By Daryl on 11-24-14
By: Rebecca Alexander, and others
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Everything You Ever Wanted
- A Memoir
- By: Jillian Lauren
- Narrated by: Jillian Lauren
- Length: 8 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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In her younger years, Jillian Lauren was a college dropout, a drug addict, and an international concubine in the Prince of Brunei's harem, an experience she immortalized in her best-selling memoir, Some Girls. In her 30s, Jillian's most radical act is learning the steadying power of love when she and her rock star husband adopt an Ethiopian child with special needs.
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Great for adoptive families
- By berry bomb on 07-06-22
By: Jillian Lauren
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Suddenly
- By: Barbara Delinsky
- Narrated by: Carol Monda
- Length: 15 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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In the idyllic small town of Tucker, Vermont, life flows at a rhythmic pace for pediatrician Paige Pfeiffer. But when Mara O'Neill, her best friend and medical partner, inexplicably kills herself, Paige's comfortable world is suddenly shattered. Temporarily caring for Mara's newly adopted baby daughter while she comes to grips with her grief, Paige clings to the hope that, in time, her orderly life will return.
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Parent guide! (not romance)
- By christine on 10-10-11
By: Barbara Delinsky
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The Book of Help
- A Memoir in Remedies
- By: Megan Griswold
- Narrated by: Megan Griswold
- Length: 11 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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A hilarious and heartbreaking memoir-in-remedies by a self-described "professional soul-searcher" that details a journey of self-discovery through more than 160 tonics, seminars, regimens, and transformative therapies. With a voice that is at once intimate and hilarious, Megan captures the openness and honesty necessary for people to take a new path in life. Listeners will open the audiobook with curiosity about all the different healing therapies that Megan tries, but leave with a new understanding of themselves.
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Mr. Toad's Wild Ride has some serious competition!
- By Elisa R. Goodman on 02-15-19
By: Megan Griswold
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Divided Minds
- Twin Sisters and Their Journey Through Schizophrenia
- By: Pamela Spiro Wagner, Carolyn S. Spiro MD
- Narrated by: Kimberly Farr, Amanda Carlin
- Length: 11 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Divided Minds is a dual memoir of identical twins, one of whom faces a life sentence of schizophrenia and the other who becomes a psychiatrist after entering the spotlight that had for so long been focused on her sister.
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intense!
- By Snow Dunn on 09-12-19
By: Pamela Spiro Wagner, and others
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January First
- A Child's Descent into Madness and Her Father's Struggle to Save Her
- By: Michael Schofield
- Narrated by: Patrick Lawlor
- Length: 8 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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January First is a brilliant and harrowingly honest memoir. The story of Michael Schofield's daughter January's descent into scizophrenia, and her family's struggle to save her, will fascinate and move listeners. January First is the extraordinary story of a father's fight to save his child from an extremely severe case of mental illness in the face of overwhelming adversity.
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Unusual
- By D. Jacobsen on 06-01-15
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Bloom
- Finding Beauty in the Unexpected - A Memoir
- By: Kelle Hampton
- Narrated by: Kelle Hampton
- Length: 6 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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When Kelle Hampton's new daughter was placed in her arms in the delivery room, she knew instantly that something was wrong. As her friends and family celebrated, a terrified Kelle was certain that Nella had Down syndrome - a fear her pediatrician soon confirmed. Yet gradually Kelle embraced the realization that she had been chosen to experience an extraordinary and special gift. With lyrical prose and gorgeous photography, Bloom takes listeners on a wondrous journey through Nella's first year of life.
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Beautiful Story
- By Janelle on 03-10-24
By: Kelle Hampton
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Finding Grace
- A True Story about Losing Your Way in Life...and Finding It Again
- By: Donna VanLiere
- Narrated by: Donna VanLiere
- Length: 4 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Finding Grace is the powerful, often humorous, and deeply moving story of one woman's journey of broken dreams. It is the story of how a painful legacy of the past is confronted and met with peace. This book is for anyone who has struggled to understand why our desires---even the simplest ones---are sometimes denied or who has questioned where God is when we need Him most. This story is about one woman's unlikely road to motherhood. Finally, it's a book about the "undeserved gift which is life itself."
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Finding Grace... and joy, delight, and camaraderie
- By WeRLoved on 02-02-17
By: Donna VanLiere
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Love Walked In
- By: Marisa de los Santos
- Narrated by: Jennifer Ikeda
- Length: 11 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Award-winning poet Marisa de los Santos crafts an irresistibly touching debut novel. Love Walked In is a contemporary tale, steeped in nostalgic, cinematic charm, of love in all its forms. Unapologetically idealistic about love, Cornelia Brown appears to catch the break of a lifetime when the dashing Martin Grace, her own personal Cary Grant, comes strolling into her life. But it is Martin's connection to 11-year-old Clare Hobbes that touches Cornelia's heart in ways she never imagined.
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Dreadful audio quality
- By Marenghi on 09-16-11
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Ask Me Why I Hurt
- The Kids Nobody Wants and the Doctor Who Heals Them
- By: Randy Christensen M.D., Rene Denfeld
- Narrated by: Johnny Heller
- Length: 8 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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The unforgettable inspiring memoir of one extraordinary doctor who is saving lives in a most unconventional way, Ask Me Why I Hurt is the touching and revealing first-person account of the remarkable work of Dr. Randy Christensen. Trained as a pediatrician, he works not in a typical hospital setting but, rather, in a 38-foot Winnebago that has been refitted as a doctor's office on wheels. His patients are the city's homeless adolescents and children.
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The reality of our streets
- By SusanInTheMidwest on 08-26-17
By: Randy Christensen M.D., and others
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The Woman Who Stole My Life
- By: Marian Keyes
- Narrated by: Aoife McMahon
- Length: 15 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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In her own words, Stella Sweeney is just "an ordinary woman living an ordinary life with her husband and two teenage kids", working for her sister in their neighborhood beauty salon. Then one day she is struck by a serious illness that lands her in the hospital for months.
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First Part? Good. Second Part? Ugh!
- By Gillian on 08-31-17
By: Marian Keyes
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My Glory Was I Had Such Friends
- A Memoir
- By: Amy Silverstein
- Narrated by: Erin Moon
- Length: 12 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Nearly 26 years after receiving her first heart transplant, Amy Silverstein's donor heart plummeted into failure. If she wanted to live, she had to take on the grueling quest for a new heart - immediately. A shot at survival meant uprooting her life and moving across the country to California. When her friends heard of her plans, there was only one reaction: "I'm there." Nine remarkable women - Joy, Jill, Leja, Jody, Lauren, Robin, Valerie, Ann, and Jane - put demanding jobs and pressing family obligations on hold to fly across the country and be by Amy's side.
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Great listen!
- By Natalie on 05-13-23
By: Amy Silverstein
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Nearly Normal
- Surviving the Wilderness, My Family and Myself
- By: Cea Sunrise Person
- Narrated by: Cea Sunrise Person
- Length: 9 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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In her best-selling memoir North of Normal, Cea wrote with grace about her unconventional childhood - her early years living in a tipi in Alberta with her pot-smoking, free-loving counterculture family. But her struggles do not end when she leaves her family at the age of 13 to become a model. Honest and daring, Nearly Normal reveals the many ways that Cea's unconventional childhood continues to reverberate through the years.
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This one is just not for me
- By Pamela Plimpton on 03-15-19
What listeners say about The Valedictorian of Being Dead
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Dan
- 04-24-19
Connection
This experience is about more than just depression. It's about family, friends, and connections with other people that you may never expect have a bearing on your life. I'm not going to even attempt to discuss the obvious details.. Ms Armstrong eloquently and unabashedly shares everything about the experience to take you through that journey that you'll never forget. My additional take away is that we should be grateful for our connections to other people - good or bad - because it shapes our opportunities and reminds me that we are who we are because of other people. What a lovely thing it was too share this with us.
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13 people found this helpful
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- Sharon
- 04-26-19
Poignant and hopeful
I love this book. Hearing Heather read it was icing on the cake. This book has resonated with me and has helped me better understand myself (in some ways) as well as others. It is as heartbreaking as it is hopeful. I think it is a must-read for anyone who is suffering from mental illness or has a loved one who suffers.
I was also fascinated by some of the technical aspects of her procedures and found the afterward to be helpful as well. I highly recommend this book! Thank you for writing it, Heather.
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4 people found this helpful
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- Anne
- 06-22-19
Amazing!
Your vibe and message is inspiring- thank you for sharing. I have recommended your book to many people who suffer from anxiety and depression. showing them there is hope and to keep moving forward because someday something anything could work!
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- Roxie in Dallas
- 03-26-22
educational accurate and entertaining
a rare combination of autobiographical self reflection that illustrates despair transforming into hope for all
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- Amazon Customer
- 05-15-23
Chilling to Read Now
RIP Heather. This was very sobering to read what she went through during her journey with depression and the lengths she took to fight to stay alive. It's so sad that post-book, another chapter closed her book of life. Rest in peace!
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- G. CUBERO
- 06-28-23
An accurate view of depression - a heartbreaking end.
As someone that struggles with my own mental health issues, I can 100% understand and empathize with Heather. Her voice was so raw in certain parts you could just feel it in your soul the pain she was going through. Someone posted a “review” that they couldn’t understand cause she was complaining about mundane things - it goes to show how much people still need to learn about mental health and what exactly it entails. When you have to fight with yourself just to open your eyes, to brush your teeth, to eat even then you can have a glimpse of an idea of what it is like. Mundane things are what life is all about so not being able to complete even the most mundane things should show you how bad it is. You just want to stop existing. I’m so sorry that she relapsed and that there was no help at the very end to stop her from ending it all. She really did seem like she had new found hope. I’ll definitely recommend this book to anyone - especially single moms/parents that are going through it.
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- Jean Rolandelli
- 12-29-20
not what I expected, in a good way
moving, thought provoking, validating. I expected this book to be clinical and depressing. I was pleased to find it fascinating, validating and heroic.
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- Meus
- 12-29-19
Change my thoughts on depression
Thank you for this book! It really changed my mindset towards suicide and depression. I have a greater understanding of what people are struggling with...and I LOVE her sense of humor!
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- Wendy
- 05-30-19
Wow
Wow, Bravo ! , Heather B Armstrong! This book is gut wrenching , excruciating and absolutely beautiful. Well written and narrated.
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- SamuraiSunday
- 05-07-19
Thought-provoking
I have followed Heather Armstrong on and off for over a decade. I enjoy her writing and her way of telling the story. Her willingness to bare her soul to help others is beyond commendable. hopefully the experimental treatment is something that will be available to a great many others in the future.
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