
Hello I Want to Die Please Fix Me
Depression in the First Person
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Narrated by:
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Kirsten Potter
An engrossing memoir-meets-investigative-report that takes a fresh, frank look at how we treat depression.
In her early 20s, investigative journalist Anna Mehler Paperny had already landed her dream job. On the surface, her life was great. Nevertheless, she spiraled out, attempted suicide (the first of more attempts to follow), and landed in the ICU and then in a psych ward before setting out to tackle her recovery.
In Hello I Want to Die Please Fix Me, Mehler Paperny turns her journalist's eye on her own experience and others' - in the ward; as an outpatient; facing family, friends, and coworkers; finding the right meds; trying to stay insured and employed. She interviews psychiatrists and other experts to reveal how primitive our methods of healing the brain still are - and provides an invaluable guide to a system struggling, and often failing, to help those in need. At once heartrending and humorous, outraging and serious, this is a must-listen for anyone touched by depression - and that's everyone.
©2019, 2020 Anna Mehler Paperny (P)2020 TantorListeners also enjoyed...




















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Excellent
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Must read for those struggling with mental health and those who treat it.
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gained a lot of insight into depression.
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Finally!
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Big Caveat #1: the author’s summation of Ketamine and psychedelic therapy. They had one single experience with ketamine, kicking and screaming just to placate a doctor at Yale’s department of treatment-resistant depression. The rest of what they’re reciting reads like it was pulled from Newsweek Magazine. This is the weakest part of the book for me Treatment with Pyschecelics cannot be evaluated like Adderal is. The effectiveness of this method is evaluated over months combined with forms of therapy that are often artistic. The author has no experience, has apparently done no deep research, yet they state predetermined snarky opinion as though it’s fact. Boo. The cover is now appropriate.
By the middle of Part 2 and into Part 3, the author’s pedestrian sense of exploration becomes concrete statements of absolute fact about things they’re (in truth) only guessing at, From hard science science to perspective on additional examples and alternative methods comes to prevail. Their humor is replaced by cynical and snarling opinion which is stated as absolute fact. This shift in tone happens so quickly that it’s stunning. Suddenly, and 180 degrees opposite of the first part of the book, life sucks and a victimized voice is telling us so. While this triggers every bit of critical thinking, corrective fact-checking bone in my body, the bipolar shift is a actually illuminating, and for me it makes the book more interesting, The Big Snarky exhausting shift may reveal cognitive and emotional components that serve as a foundation for the most severe and devastating forms of depression that is humorously described, in detail, in the first half of the book.
Part 3 continues to descend into interpretative, opinionated, sideways story telling based real patient cases, read from notes, The author has had it up to *here* with people. And don’t get her started on men (“dudes”), or women she deems to be feminist. Or succesful people. Or married couples. My God! The author, an office worker, now believes they’re an authority on psychology, the human condition, and medicine. And what? Looking down upon those who’ve succeeded in suicide? A pile of summarized terribly depressing tales? Now I’m depressed. This is weird and I have reduced interest and attention. It’s not that I don’t care about people’s difficulties, it’s that I don’t like the author creating condensed version that can be used to hammer the reader with over and over. Listening to cynical, talkative, overly opinionated ppl is bad for my emotional well being. In fact, I’m now taking a break or bailing out from listening to this book. It begins as a revealed memoir and ends as a non-stop rant.
What a fascinating study this book is. For some, the first half of the book is truly great, and possibly worth the price by itself. For others the entire book may a valuable mind study of someone who describes the severe and long term nature of their existential crisis, uses casual humor to as a mask, and then tires of the mask and exhibits sense of security that’s derived from cynical narrow thinking, way too much opinion, and lots of anger at everything in the world. . Wow. Now, the book title and cover art are even more off track. The person present by the last part of the book is absolutely not vulnerable and does not ask questions, let alone for help.
DON’T JUDGE A BOOK BY IT’S COVER, WORDS, MOODS…
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eye opening
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Wow
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Unlistenable
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fantastic book. helped me
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Insightful
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