-
The World's Unlikeliest Vampire Hunter: Mission #1: Just Try Not to Die
- Brian Helsing, Book 1
- Narrated by: Hannibal Hills
- Length: 5 hrs and 11 mins
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wishlist failed.
Adding to library failed
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
Get 2 free audiobooks during trial.
Buy for $19.95
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
Publisher's summary
When Helsing XII, the latest in the long and illustrious line of brave demon-hunters dies in combat, no-one would have expected his ring of power to be handed down to an idiot.
Least of all said idiot; Brian Trelawney, the most hapless car salesman in the whole of Cornwall.
With no redeeming features bar his towering height, Brian finds himself thrust into a strange and often terrifying world of vampires, banshees and all other Things That Go Bump In The Night. Trained, after a fashion, by the eccentric Masters, and equipped with strange weapons, Brian is sent into battle as the unwitting savior of mankind.
Accompanied by his friend Neil, a man oddly enough far more appropriate for the role of Helsing, Brian must bumble his way through his first mission; placating a terrifying banshee whose keening wailing is keeping the residents of Bodmin from their beauty sleep.
Warning: This book contains copious harsh language and mind-numbing stupidity, all wrapped up in a crunchy supernatural shell.
Listeners also enjoyed...
-
ImPerfect Magic
- The imPerfect Cathar, Book 1
- By: C. N. Rowan
- Narrated by: C.N. Rowan
- Length: 9 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
One moment I'm a heretical priest in the twelfth century, hunted, hated...the next, I'm waking up in the nearest corpse. Stuck in a cycle of instant reincarnation, popping back up like a tarnished penny.
-
-
Hire a narrator!
- By Janny R on 08-22-23
By: C. N. Rowan
-
24/7 Demon Mart: Publisher's Pack
- Books 1-2
- By: D.M. Guay
- Narrated by: Todd Haberkorn
- Length: 19 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
24/7 Demon Mart: Publisher's Pack features two books from the 24/7 Demon Mart series: The Graveyard Shift, book one, and Monster Burger, book two. It also includes the bonus Hell for the Holidays, a 24/7 Demon Mart Christmas special. Lloyd Wallace is the most clueless crossing guard the intersection of hell and earth has ever seen. So clueless, that he doesn't even realize the beer cave in the corner store where he works is the gateway to hell.
-
-
cool idea ruined by cartoonish narration
- By AJ on 11-29-20
By: D.M. Guay
-
The Prof Croft Series
- Books 0-4 (Prof Croft Box Sets, Book 1)
- By: Brad Magnarella
- Narrated by: James Patrick Cronin
- Length: 34 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Join scholar and spell-caster Everson Croft in this five-book urban fantasy set, from the discovery of his magic in the prequel novella, Book of Souls, to his battle against a mind-warping evil in the shocking finale, Death Mage.
-
-
Plagiarize much?
- By robyn K on 04-26-21
By: Brad Magnarella
-
Monsters in the Midwest (3 Book Series)
- By: Scott Burtness
- Narrated by: Ray Lesniewski
- Length: 25 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Herb, Dallas, and Stanley live in Wisconsin, where life is nice and simple. Until Herb becomes a vampire. And Dallas becomes a werewolf. And Stanley becomes a zombie. Join the three friends on their hilariously awkward adventures as they learn that sometimes it takes a really big change to become who you were always meant to be.
-
-
Hop on the 'Sconnie Bus for a really fun ride!
- By Ebkelly on 12-23-19
By: Scott Burtness
-
Pest Cemetery
- By: Scott Bell
- Narrated by: Scott Bennett
- Length: 11 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Bradley Langston, college dropout and drifter, is at a dead end. His last stop before living out of his car with a wet dog and a murderous ball of fluff is a caretaker’s job at Pottsville East Shady Terraces cemetery. The cemetery is a mess, and it’s going to take a lot of work to make right, which is more than Brad bargained for when he took the job. To complicate matters, the long-term residents of Shady Terraces turn out to be a little restless. And needy.
-
-
Excellent, sarcastic, fast, fun easy listening!!
- By shelley on 01-09-23
By: Scott Bell
-
Night Shift Witch
- Night Shift Witch Mysteries, Book 1
- By: Cate Lawley
- Narrated by: April Doty
- Length: 3 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Star needs another paying gig while she finishes her witch training. Why not at a funeral home? It fits her goth image, and the funeral director is sort of hot...even if he does wear a suit and tie. Less than a day on the job as makeup artist to the dead, and Star discovers one of their accidental death clients didn’t die accidentally.
-
-
Funeral Home Fun
- By Wynne on 01-29-22
By: Cate Lawley
-
ImPerfect Magic
- The imPerfect Cathar, Book 1
- By: C. N. Rowan
- Narrated by: C.N. Rowan
- Length: 9 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
One moment I'm a heretical priest in the twelfth century, hunted, hated...the next, I'm waking up in the nearest corpse. Stuck in a cycle of instant reincarnation, popping back up like a tarnished penny.
-
-
Hire a narrator!
- By Janny R on 08-22-23
By: C. N. Rowan
-
24/7 Demon Mart: Publisher's Pack
- Books 1-2
- By: D.M. Guay
- Narrated by: Todd Haberkorn
- Length: 19 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
24/7 Demon Mart: Publisher's Pack features two books from the 24/7 Demon Mart series: The Graveyard Shift, book one, and Monster Burger, book two. It also includes the bonus Hell for the Holidays, a 24/7 Demon Mart Christmas special. Lloyd Wallace is the most clueless crossing guard the intersection of hell and earth has ever seen. So clueless, that he doesn't even realize the beer cave in the corner store where he works is the gateway to hell.
-
-
cool idea ruined by cartoonish narration
- By AJ on 11-29-20
By: D.M. Guay
-
The Prof Croft Series
- Books 0-4 (Prof Croft Box Sets, Book 1)
- By: Brad Magnarella
- Narrated by: James Patrick Cronin
- Length: 34 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Join scholar and spell-caster Everson Croft in this five-book urban fantasy set, from the discovery of his magic in the prequel novella, Book of Souls, to his battle against a mind-warping evil in the shocking finale, Death Mage.
-
-
Plagiarize much?
- By robyn K on 04-26-21
By: Brad Magnarella
-
Monsters in the Midwest (3 Book Series)
- By: Scott Burtness
- Narrated by: Ray Lesniewski
- Length: 25 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Herb, Dallas, and Stanley live in Wisconsin, where life is nice and simple. Until Herb becomes a vampire. And Dallas becomes a werewolf. And Stanley becomes a zombie. Join the three friends on their hilariously awkward adventures as they learn that sometimes it takes a really big change to become who you were always meant to be.
-
-
Hop on the 'Sconnie Bus for a really fun ride!
- By Ebkelly on 12-23-19
By: Scott Burtness
-
Pest Cemetery
- By: Scott Bell
- Narrated by: Scott Bennett
- Length: 11 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Bradley Langston, college dropout and drifter, is at a dead end. His last stop before living out of his car with a wet dog and a murderous ball of fluff is a caretaker’s job at Pottsville East Shady Terraces cemetery. The cemetery is a mess, and it’s going to take a lot of work to make right, which is more than Brad bargained for when he took the job. To complicate matters, the long-term residents of Shady Terraces turn out to be a little restless. And needy.
-
-
Excellent, sarcastic, fast, fun easy listening!!
- By shelley on 01-09-23
By: Scott Bell
-
Night Shift Witch
- Night Shift Witch Mysteries, Book 1
- By: Cate Lawley
- Narrated by: April Doty
- Length: 3 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Star needs another paying gig while she finishes her witch training. Why not at a funeral home? It fits her goth image, and the funeral director is sort of hot...even if he does wear a suit and tie. Less than a day on the job as makeup artist to the dead, and Star discovers one of their accidental death clients didn’t die accidentally.
-
-
Funeral Home Fun
- By Wynne on 01-29-22
By: Cate Lawley
-
What Is Happening in Egypt, Texas?
- They're Here, Book 1
- By: Brian Yansky
- Narrated by: Barbara Henslee, Victor Warren
- Length: 7 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
They’re here. But who are they? What do they want? Where do they come from? On top of these questions July Jackson, sheriff of Egypt, Texas (population: 1,888), has some others. Why is it snowing in West Texas in August? Why don't the cars, electronics, or phones work? Why can't he remember what happened last night? Learn what is happening in Egypt, Texas.
-
-
Marvelously entertaining sci-fi
- By Diana in SC @AudiobookObsession on 06-15-23
By: Brian Yansky
-
Monster Mayhem
- A Luna Thorn Witchy Mystery, Book 1
- By: Amanda M. Lee
- Narrated by: Sarah Grace Wright
- Length: 8 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Luna Thorn’s past is a mystery...even to herself. She arrived in Detroit amid a swirl of lights and magic. She had no memory of where she came from. No idea why she was there. Years later, she’s established herself as a force to be reckoned with on the Detroit magical scene. She ingratiated herself with the local reapers. She set up a community called the Cathedral to help those who had been displaced from their homes and families, declaring that nobody would fall through the cracks. Still, doubt remains.
-
-
Loved it!
- By Teresa Rodriguez on 04-11-23
By: Amanda M. Lee
-
The Wolf Gift
- The Wolf Gift Chronicles (1)
- By: Anne Rice
- Narrated by: Ron McLarty
- Length: 17 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The place, the rugged coast of Northern California. A bluff high above the Pacific. A grand mansion full of beauty and tantalizing history set against a towering redwood forest.
-
-
Terrible: Sex, Food, and Not Much Else
- By Johnny Dough on 02-24-12
By: Anne Rice
-
Flesh & Crone
- A Spell's Angels Cozy Mystery, Books 1-3
- By: Amanda M. Lee
- Narrated by: Meghan Kelly
- Length: 28 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Scout Randall always considered herself a big-city girl. Then she got transferred to rural northern Lower Michigan by Spell’s Angels, the monster-hunting biker gang that’s been her sole reason for being since her tempestuous teenage years, and everything she thought she believed started to shift. This three-book omnibus includes: Bad to the Crone, No Crones About It, and No Crone Unturned.
-
-
a waste, poor reading and plot needs 0 star.
- By mary on 04-15-22
By: Amanda M. Lee
-
Gypsy Magic
- A Paranormal Women's Fiction Novel
- By: J.R. Rain, H.P. Mallory
- Narrated by: Kelley Huston
- Length: 6 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Welcome to Haven Hollow, a town of monsters. After dating a string of losers and banishing a poltergeist, I packed up my Los Angeles life and my 11-year-old son, and moved...to a town in Oregon with a population of 680. Well, 682 now. Culture shock anyone? Ahem, never mind that.... New starts can happen anywhere, right? I hope so, because I need to start the next chapter of my 43-year life pronto. So, why Haven Hollow? For one reason - there aren’t any witches here. And a witch can make a gypsy’s life...complicated. Oh, right, I’ve put the cart before the horse.
-
-
Gypsy Magic and Good Ole Monsters
- By Michelle Bever Books on 07-19-21
By: J.R. Rain, and others
-
Dead Acre
- By: Rhett C. Bruno, Jaime Castle
- Narrated by: Roger Clark
- Length: 3 hrs and 24 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
James Crowley met his mortal end in a hail of gunfire. Now, he finds himself in purgatory, serving the White Throne to avoid falling to hell. Not quite undead, though not alive either, the best he can hope for is to work off his servitude and fade away. His not-so-sacred duty as a Hand of God? Use his new abilities to hunt down demonic beings that have infiltrated the mortal realm. This time, the White Throne has sent him to the middle of nowhere: a Western town called Dead Acre with a saloon, a moldy church, and little else worth talking about. There isn’t even a sheriff.
-
-
Incredible Must Read
- By Heather Stark on 11-25-20
By: Rhett C. Bruno, and others
-
Smoke Rising: An Urban Fantasy Shifter Series
- The Supernatural Bounty Hunter Files, Book 1
- By: Craig Halloran
- Narrated by: Holly Adams
- Length: 5 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Bounty hunter John Smoke never liked the rules. As a result of his overly aggressive - and often illegal - arrest methods, he ended up behind bars. But the Bureau won't let him be. Placed in the able care of beautiful, tough-as-nails Sidney Shaw, his new FBI handler, Smoke needs to alter his loose-cannon ways to remain a free man. But there is an unchecked evil festering deep in the heart of the nation's capital, a shadow conspiracy that won't be defeated with a by-the-book approach to law enforcement.
-
-
Excellent opener to an Urban Fantasy series.
- By The Bookwyrm Speaks on 01-02-19
By: Craig Halloran
-
Spells & Caramels Magical Mysteries: The Complete Series
- By: Erin Johnson
- Narrated by: Hannah Somerville
- Length: 63 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Twenty-nine-year-old Imogen Banks is hashtag struggling. After a disaster ends her career, destroys her home, and burns up all the money she’s saved to open her own bakery, she enters a baking contest for an all-or-nothing last-ditch chance at getting her life together. But when she arrives at the mysterious island off the coast of France, she discovers all the inhabitants of the quaint town are magical, and if she wins the contest, she’ll become the next royal baker at the castle on top of the hill. No worries that the last royal baker appears to have been murdered.
-
-
Loved it, but..
- By Sy on 01-23-23
By: Erin Johnson
-
Crossroads of Bones
- A Katie Bishop Novel, Book 1
- By: Luanne Bennett
- Narrated by: Whitney Dykhouse
- Length: 9 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Rule number one: Don’t piss off the dragon - or Sugar. When Katie Bishop is asked to join an elite Savannah society that guards the city against all the supernatural riffraff that blows into town on a regular basis, she can’t refuse. Especially when the city’s latest threat has targeted her to help it escape from an ancient book it’s been imprisoned in for more than a century.
-
-
Funny, Entertaining, & well-read
- By Karen Joseph on 01-20-22
By: Luanne Bennett
-
Robert
- A Forty Proof Novella
- By: Shannon Mayer
- Narrated by: Jake Bordeaux
- Length: 1 hr and 4 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In 1876, we were called to Savannah, Georgia to help with an infestation of demons. If we'd known what we, my wife Evangeline, and I, were walking into, we'd have run the other way. As it was, we shared tea with a vampire and stepped into a battle we did not understand until it was too late.
-
-
Robert!
- By Deirdre G. Robertson on 11-11-24
By: Shannon Mayer
-
The Bell Witch Series Books 1-3
- Scary Supernatural Horror with Monsters
- By: Sara Clancy, Scare Street
- Narrated by: John Pirhalla
- Length: 20 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In Black River, Tennessee, there is a legend hiding in the shadowy trees. The Bell Witch, a vile, vindictive spirit, is said to haunt the dark woods. Driven by rage, she stalks the descendants of four ancient families - cursed bloodlines, doomed to play out her sadistic game for eternity. Until four young survivors take a stand, and vow to end the witch’s curse once and for all. Their journey will pit them against death, madness, and demonic forces. But if they fail, the witch’s curse will claim a new generation of souls....
-
-
Very well written
- By Sara Jane on 02-21-20
By: Sara Clancy, and others
-
Emergency Shift
- Full Moon Medic, Book 1
- By: Daniel R. Potter
- Narrated by: Cindy Kay
- Length: 10 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
With magic leaking back into our world, working the nightshift as a paramedic comes with danger. But I handle it. I’ve got a shotgun for the zombies, and my lycanthropic rage hasn’t escaped my apartment. Life is normal-ish. All that changes when I’m called to help a dying fey knight and I make a promise. There’s a little girl with big eyes and a heart-rending sniffle. I can’t say no. Of course she’s not human. She’s their key to opening the long-closed gates and feasting on humanity.
-
-
Awesome book
- By C.T. on 09-20-21
By: Daniel R. Potter
Related to this topic
-
The Nate Temple Series: Books 0-3
- The Nate Temple Series Boxset Book 1
- By: Shayne Silvers
- Narrated by: Joel Richards
- Length: 41 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
My name is Nate Temple, and I’m secretly a wizard. I ride a foul-mouthed unicorn, I drink with Achilles, and I’m pals with the Four Horsemen. I’ve even cow-tipped the Minotaur. I understand the theory of following the rules...I’m just not very good at the application. Because rules were meant to be broken, and St. Louis has a bit of a supernatural infestation these days. Someone should probably be keeping an eye on these things -and probably an eye on me, too. Before I blow up another building...or three.
-
-
Basically Batman with lizard brain
- By Ross Hageman on 04-01-20
By: Shayne Silvers
-
Things to Do in Denver When You're Un-Dead
- From the Files of the BSI, Book 1
- By: Mark Everett Stone
- Narrated by: Damon Abdallah
- Length: 10 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
For 10 years Kal Hakala has been the Bureau of Supernatural Investigation's top man, the longest surviving agent in its blood-soaked history. The World At Large has no idea that The World Under exists. And its vampires, demons, zombies, and mythic monsters are growing increasingly restless. In all Kal's time with the Bureau, there has been no case he couldn't crack, no monster he couldn't kill. Then a plague of zombies comes to Denver, along with a vicious serial killer dubbed The Organ Donor.
-
-
very, very enjoyable. a great listen
- By Dr Dionne P Joseph on 08-24-13
-
Penumbra
- Darkling Mage
- By: Nazri Noor
- Narrated by: Luke Daniels
- Length: 2 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Dustin Graves was a jack of all trades, a directionless dreamer until the day he found his purpose: as a ritual sacrifice. Transformed in death, Dust awakens to the eldritch mysteries behind the grit and glamor of the city of Valero – and to the wellspring of dark magic that lives inside his very bones.
-
-
Very nice introduction to the series
- By Sasha on 06-14-24
By: Nazri Noor
-
Return of the Dwarf King
- Adventures of Finnegan Dragonbender
- By: Charley Case, Martha Carr
- Narrated by: Austin Rising
- Length: 6 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Stranded and alone in Denver, Colorado, Finn and his partner Penny (a foot and a half long Faerie Dragon) search for friends and allies in this strange new land. But something about this place isn’t right. Magic has gone underground, and has anyone seen John Wayne? Lucky for Finn he’s a Dwarf, and underground is where he does his best work. Join Finn, Penny, and their new friends on an adventure that spans the globe and holds the fate of an entire planet in its twists and turns. And just maybe a tall Dwarf and a small dragon can find their place in the universe.
-
-
Awesome!
- By Wallace E Edson on 08-28-24
By: Charley Case, and others
-
Blood Scent
- Junkyard Druid Novellas, Book 1
- By: M. D. Massey
- Narrated by: Steven Barnett
- Length: 3 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
After the loss of his girlfriend Jesse, druid-trained hunter Colin McCool swore off monster-hunting for good. Now a rogue vampire is killing the weak and defenseless in his city, and no one else seems to care enough to stop him. To end the slaughter, Colin has agreed to take up his sword one last time...but will this "one final job" be the death of him?
-
-
dont waste money
- By STACY GREEN on 12-23-18
By: M. D. Massey
-
Blood Mage
- By: Logan Jacobs
- Narrated by: Rebecca Woods, Daniel Wisniewski
- Length: 9 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Milton was your average delivery driver until he had a run in with a dying fairy who imbued him with all his magical power. Now Milton can literally tear the blood out of his enemies with a gesture of his hand, every women he meets is attracted to his magical charm, and the powerful Fae Guild wants to pay him a bunch of money to fight evil.
-
-
Are you computer literate? be prepared for cringe!
- By David on 01-27-20
By: Logan Jacobs
-
The Nate Temple Series: Books 0-3
- The Nate Temple Series Boxset Book 1
- By: Shayne Silvers
- Narrated by: Joel Richards
- Length: 41 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
My name is Nate Temple, and I’m secretly a wizard. I ride a foul-mouthed unicorn, I drink with Achilles, and I’m pals with the Four Horsemen. I’ve even cow-tipped the Minotaur. I understand the theory of following the rules...I’m just not very good at the application. Because rules were meant to be broken, and St. Louis has a bit of a supernatural infestation these days. Someone should probably be keeping an eye on these things -and probably an eye on me, too. Before I blow up another building...or three.
-
-
Basically Batman with lizard brain
- By Ross Hageman on 04-01-20
By: Shayne Silvers
-
Things to Do in Denver When You're Un-Dead
- From the Files of the BSI, Book 1
- By: Mark Everett Stone
- Narrated by: Damon Abdallah
- Length: 10 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
For 10 years Kal Hakala has been the Bureau of Supernatural Investigation's top man, the longest surviving agent in its blood-soaked history. The World At Large has no idea that The World Under exists. And its vampires, demons, zombies, and mythic monsters are growing increasingly restless. In all Kal's time with the Bureau, there has been no case he couldn't crack, no monster he couldn't kill. Then a plague of zombies comes to Denver, along with a vicious serial killer dubbed The Organ Donor.
-
-
very, very enjoyable. a great listen
- By Dr Dionne P Joseph on 08-24-13
-
Penumbra
- Darkling Mage
- By: Nazri Noor
- Narrated by: Luke Daniels
- Length: 2 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Dustin Graves was a jack of all trades, a directionless dreamer until the day he found his purpose: as a ritual sacrifice. Transformed in death, Dust awakens to the eldritch mysteries behind the grit and glamor of the city of Valero – and to the wellspring of dark magic that lives inside his very bones.
-
-
Very nice introduction to the series
- By Sasha on 06-14-24
By: Nazri Noor
-
Return of the Dwarf King
- Adventures of Finnegan Dragonbender
- By: Charley Case, Martha Carr
- Narrated by: Austin Rising
- Length: 6 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Stranded and alone in Denver, Colorado, Finn and his partner Penny (a foot and a half long Faerie Dragon) search for friends and allies in this strange new land. But something about this place isn’t right. Magic has gone underground, and has anyone seen John Wayne? Lucky for Finn he’s a Dwarf, and underground is where he does his best work. Join Finn, Penny, and their new friends on an adventure that spans the globe and holds the fate of an entire planet in its twists and turns. And just maybe a tall Dwarf and a small dragon can find their place in the universe.
-
-
Awesome!
- By Wallace E Edson on 08-28-24
By: Charley Case, and others
-
Blood Scent
- Junkyard Druid Novellas, Book 1
- By: M. D. Massey
- Narrated by: Steven Barnett
- Length: 3 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
After the loss of his girlfriend Jesse, druid-trained hunter Colin McCool swore off monster-hunting for good. Now a rogue vampire is killing the weak and defenseless in his city, and no one else seems to care enough to stop him. To end the slaughter, Colin has agreed to take up his sword one last time...but will this "one final job" be the death of him?
-
-
dont waste money
- By STACY GREEN on 12-23-18
By: M. D. Massey
-
Blood Mage
- By: Logan Jacobs
- Narrated by: Rebecca Woods, Daniel Wisniewski
- Length: 9 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Milton was your average delivery driver until he had a run in with a dying fairy who imbued him with all his magical power. Now Milton can literally tear the blood out of his enemies with a gesture of his hand, every women he meets is attracted to his magical charm, and the powerful Fae Guild wants to pay him a bunch of money to fight evil.
-
-
Are you computer literate? be prepared for cringe!
- By David on 01-27-20
By: Logan Jacobs
-
Succubus Hunter
- By: Daniel Pierce
- Narrated by: Teddy Hamilton
- Length: 6 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The Succubus is beautiful, deadly, and prowling the night for victims as their leader creates a plan to take New York City for her own dark purposes. But Kurt is there, and by freeing Succubi from their ancient curse, he will build a team of elite killers who will stalk the night with revenge on their minds. Join the hunter as he tames succubi, magic, and a weapon as old as time in his search of destiny.
-
-
The Shopping Adventures of Captain Save-a-Hoe!
- By BAR-1 on 03-02-21
By: Daniel Pierce
-
Drake
- The Burned Man, Book 1
- By: Peter McLean
- Narrated by: Mark Meadows
- Length: 8 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Hitman Don Drake owes a gambling debt to a demon. Forced to carry out one more assassination to clear his debt, Don unwittingly kills an innocent child and brings the Furies of Greek myth down upon himself. Rescued by an almost fallen angel called Trixie, Don and his magical accomplice - the Burned Man, an imprisoned archdemon - are forced to deal with Lucifer himself whilst battling a powerful evil magician.
-
-
Excellent story with character development!
- By Ketil on 11-21-16
By: Peter McLean
-
Storm Front
- The Dresden Files, Book 1
- By: Jim Butcher
- Narrated by: James Marsters
- Length: 8 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A call from a distraught wife, and another from Lt. Murphy of the Chicago PD Special Investigation Unit makes Harry believe things are looking up, but they are about to get worse, much worse. Someone is harnessing immense supernatural forces to commit a series of grisly murders. Someone has violated the first law of magic: Thou Shalt Not Kill. Tracking that someone takes Harry into the dangerous underbelly of Chicago, from mobsters to vampires....
-
-
Excellent Story, Distracting Sound Engineering
- By Tom on 05-20-10
By: Jim Butcher
-
Hero Forged
- Ethereal Earth, Book 1
- By: Josh Erikson
- Narrated by: Josh Erikson
- Length: 14 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Gabriel Delling might call himself a professional con artist, but when walking superstitions start trying to bite his face off, his charm is shockingly unhelpful. It turns out living nightmares almost never appreciate a good joke. Together with a succubus who insists on constantly saving his life, Gabe desperately tries to survive a new reality that suddenly features demons, legends, and a giant locust named Dale - all of whom pretty much hate his guts. And when an ancient horror comes hunting for a spirit locked in his head, Gabe finds himself faced with the excruciating choice between death...or becoming some kind of freaking hero.
-
-
Surprisingly Good
- By Steelgator on 07-21-18
By: Josh Erikson
-
The World Walker
- The World Walker Series, Book 1
- By: Ian W. Sainsbury
- Narrated by: Todd Boyce
- Length: 12 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Just outside Los Angeles, a prisoner hidden away for 70 years sits up, gets off the bed and disappears through a solid wall. In Australia, a magician impresses audiences by producing real elephants. Nobody realizes it's not an illusion. Across the world, individuals and organizations with supernatural power suddenly detect the presence of something even they can't understand. At the center of it all, Seb Varden, a 32-year old musician with a secret in his past, slits his wrists, is shot dead and run over on the freeway.
-
-
Good Stuff
- By DobieChuck on 01-15-17
By: Ian W. Sainsbury
-
Dawn of Chaos
- Age of Madness - A Kurtherian Gambit Series
- By: Daniel Willcocks, Michael Anderle
- Narrated by: Emily Beresford
- Length: 7 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Caitlin finally gets the chance to explore what's outside of the walls of the town she's been trapped in and finds vampires, werewolves, and zombie-like creatures.
-
-
disappointed
- By me.. on 01-10-23
By: Daniel Willcocks, and others
-
Hidden Star
- Stars of Mithra, Book 1
- By: Nora Roberts
- Narrated by: Scott Merriman
- Length: 6 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
She couldn't remember a thing, not even who she was. But it was clear Bailey James was in trouble. Big trouble. And she desperately needed private eye Cade Parris to help her find out just what kind. Surely she wasn't a criminal - but then what on earth was she doing with a bag full of cash and a stunning blue diamond as big as a baby's fist?
-
-
Unbelievably unbelievable.
- By Lewca on 03-15-15
By: Nora Roberts
-
Hellboy: Odd Jobs
- By: Christopher Golden
- Narrated by: Seth Podowitz
- Length: 8 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In 1994, Mike Mignola created one of the most unique and visually arresting comics series to ever see print: Hellboy. Tens of thousands have followed the exploits of the World's Greatest Paranormal Investigator in comics form and in prose. Now, fans of the comic can enjoy the world of Hellboy as seen through the eyes of some of the brightest creative lights in horror and mystery fiction.
-
-
Extra stories for true fans
- By Daniel Wiffen on 07-24-21
-
The Missing Boatman
- By: Keith C. Blackmore
- Narrated by: P.J. Ochlan
- Length: 20 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Miracles are happening. Pray to God they stop. In the dead of winter, on a highway in Quebec, a man crashes his car and survives. In New York, a homeless person is run over by a bus and lives. In Tokyo, a teenager jumps off a high rise building and fails in taking her own life. All over the world, miracles like these transpire, and people breathe a sigh of relief. But for the next week, some people will begin to suspect a terrible truth. A handful will even search for it. One man will find it. And in seven days, all hell will break loose.
-
-
I guess RC Bray was busy...
- By N.S. on 10-30-18
-
Collecting the Goddess
- By: Michael Anderle
- Narrated by: Andrea Emmes
- Length: 17 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
What is a billionaire heiress supposed to do when all of her older siblings take to business like her parents, proving that business is in their blood. But not hers? There are many good choices. Unfortunately, Chloe decided that partying was the right one. Now, to keep her money, she’s required to attend daily meetings with the family psychologist - daily meetings about how she must change her present to change her future.
-
-
ugh
- By Marie on 07-09-20
By: Michael Anderle
-
Undercover Magic Vol. 1
- Books 1-3 (The Danger Universe)
- By: Meg Anne
- Narrated by: Shane East, Stella Hunter
- Length: 26 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Lina wants the one thing a ghost can’t have. To be touched. When she’s given the opportunity to rejoin the world of the living and experience exactly that, the muscle-bound immortal warrior with icy blue eyes is just what the doctor ordered.
-
-
Great banter!
- By Miya on 02-05-24
By: Meg Anne
-
Ash
- By: Luke Romyn
- Narrated by: Jay Snyder
- Length: 14 hrs and 26 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A former mercenary turned blind priest, Ash is running from his amoral past - a victim of a power-hungry corporation, Titanus, which used him for mysterious experiments, discarding him when he lost his sight. Through its experimentation, Titanus unwittingly created a dark mirror world called Shade, a place where no human can survive - except for Ash. By opening a rift, Ash can escape into Shade. While attempting to implement a global teleportation system, Titanus makes a grave error and opens several dangerous rifts, which threaten to tear the planet apart.
-
-
Seriously sci-fi
- By The Book Junkie Reads . . . on 12-04-19
By: Luke Romyn
What listeners say about The World's Unlikeliest Vampire Hunter: Mission #1: Just Try Not to Die
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Kindle Customer
- 09-26-23
You gotta love Brian
I lucked up on the 'Brian' series a couple of years ago and have big a huge fan ever since. If these books don't make you laugh, you have issues. It's not only the humor; Gareth has so many characters working together, it would be easy to get confused but that never happened.
As a rule, I'm pretty firm on my reviews but I can truthfully say these books get a big 5. Now about the narration...
He does a decent job but struggles getting Brian. In fact, most of the characters sound the same: Older and someone you'd meet sitting in the corner of a pub. The listener is relying on the narrator to convey the characters personalities. Heimlich is extremely refined and intelligent; didn't pick up on that in the audio. And Neil does not sound like women would be attracted to him. I am not bashing the narrator. He does a fine job reading the book but acting it, not so much.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Laura
- 03-09-23
Absolute Fun!
I received this book for free and am voluntarily posting this review. Any opinions expressed here in are my own.
The title character is in book is absolutely the last person who anyone would pick to fight any paranormal creatures. Yet, a man who is more comfortable playing Xbox games at home than dealing with people and truly living his life has become the chosen one. This story has many comical moments as Brian grapples to find his way in his new role. Really lighthearted fun and I look forward to the next book in this series.
Hannibal Hills has quickly become one of my favorite narrators. His tongue firmly planted in his cheek as he narrates this one with particular voices for each character and joy in his voice for each strange and funny situation.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
1 person found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Deedra
- 11-10-23
The world’s unlikiest vampire
This was a funny and fun book to listen to!The newest Helsing has no clue what he has got himself into.Narration by Hannibal Hills was excellent! I was given this book free for an honest review.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Devourer of Books & Carbs
- 03-06-23
Enjoyed this funny, fast-paced tale
A friend recommended this title (she read the book and loved it) and I'm so glad I listened (to her and to the book!). I loved how the characters were brought to life and it was fun without seeming silly. It's hard to add comedy to this genre (generally speaking, books that include demons, vampires, and the whole lot of scary sci-fi creatures) in a way that isn't over the top or eye-rolly, but this author and performer did it well. No eye-rolling here - just a lot of fun!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
1 person found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Janalyn
- 07-29-24
This is what I call funny!
Trying to sell a used car to a hot female Brian gets in tangled in a war and wind up being the next vampire Hunter, due to lack of options… Of course. He is handed a ring but will eventually change everything in Brian‘s life from his income to his job which is now the 14th in line of the Helsing vampire hunters. His first battle is going to be up against a banshee and OMG is this book funny. From him arriving at the old vampire lair to learning how to fight to the other characters in the book you will be laughing out loud there is nothing I love better than British comedy and I do believe the author has taken it to the nth degree and made a funny story hilarious. Not to mention the great narrating of Hannibal Hill if you want some LOL moments with great comedic timing and an awesome narrator you’ll definitely enjoy this book. I absolutely 100% did! Please forgive any mistakes as I am blind and dictate my review.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Spiritwalker51
- 03-05-23
Not My Kind of Story
Disclaimer: "This Audiobook was given by the author, narrator, or publisher at no cost, in exchange for an unbiased honest review."
I always like to preface any reviews I give with this information.
I am a 72 year old female who has been an avid reader since I was around 10 or 11 years old.
I read primarily for pleasure and knowledge. I do a great amount of personal research in areas that interest me.
Writing, Music, Art, Reading, Ancient Civilizations and History, Rocks, Minerals, Crystals, Alternative Spiritual Beliefs, Conspiracy Theories, UFOs, Maps, Pretty much everything interests me.
I read everything I can get my hands on.
I have always been a seeker, and I am the kind of person who needs to have answers. So I read, research, question and learn.
This is the first audiobook I attempted to listen to by this author and it will be the last. Several issues for me. While I am not a prude and am used to hearing, (and saying) swear words, the 2nd word in this book is an F-bomb and is used more than once. The amount of swearing seemed too much.
I listened into Chapter 6 and had to force myself to listen to it that long.
The one thing that kept me listening was the fact that this author has a very cool and clever sense of humor that kept me laughing, but for me it wasn't quite enough to keep listening.
I really enjoy Hannibal Hills voice acting/narrations,( I have several audiobooks he has narrated), but I am not a fan of this one either. I felt like the narration was too over the top, for me personally.
Having said that, I point out that he is the professional, not I.
I think a listening audience of between 15-30 might be a good target audience for this audiobook. It just sadly wasn't something that kept my mind engaged.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!