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When Darkness Falls, He Doesn't Catch It
- Narrated by: Ross Patterson
- Length: 6 hrs and 14 mins
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Publisher's summary
You’re goddamn right. I’m still sitting at the same weathered wooden table in the back of Manhattan’s oldest bar where I just finished my first masterpiece, At Night She Cries, While He Rides His Steed. The second I finished it, I started writing this one.
I’m now 14 beers deep, and I’ve polished off an entire eight ball of yay. The phrase “everything in moderation” applies to everything except cocaine, booze, and prostitutes. If you haven’t read my last book then you probably won’t f--cking understand anything in this book, so you should probably go buy that first and stop being poor. It’s f--cking gross.
Let’s get something straight, my life is so important that you should be grateful I’m even doing this. Seriously, do you know another motherf--cker like me? Me, neither. So let’s get down to brass.
In the last book, I told you that I was going to off myself after completing my life story. That still holds true. My trusty handgun is still loaded next to my Remington Rand typewriter that Hemingway pissed on, and you know the f--cking bartender isn’t going to cut me off, so I’m going to sit here and keep writing my memoirs until I finish. To answer your question: No, I haven’t gotten up for bathroom breaks. I just piss on the floor.
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What do you get when you mix a couple of immortals, a snotty archangel, the Father of Lies, a redneck street preacher and a couple of wiseass waitresses from Texas?
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Good Story Bad Ending
- By Mario on 05-13-15
By: John G. Hartness
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Art in America
- By: Ron McLarty
- Narrated by: Ron McLarty
- Length: 14 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Art in America tells the story of unknown writer Steven Kearney, an aging man whose lifelong commitment to his art finally brings him to homelessness in NYC. Then miraculously he receives an invitation to become playwright in residence of a troubled Rocky Mountain town.
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Another great tale from Ron McLarty
- By TypicalConsumer on 08-18-09
By: Ron McLarty
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The Drop
- By: Dennis Lehane
- Narrated by: Jim Frangione
- Length: 5 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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Three days after Christmas, a lonely bartender looking for a reason to live rescues an abused puppy from a trash can and meets a damaged woman looking for something to believe in. As their relationship grows, they cross paths with the Chechen mafia; a man grown dangerous with age and thwarted hopes; two hapless stick-up artists; a very curious cop; and the original owner of the puppy, who wants his dog bac.k…
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THAT IS LIFE,
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 12-06-14
By: Dennis Lehane
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No Angel
- My Harrowing Undercover Journey to the Inner Circle of the Hells Angels
- By: Jay Dobyns, Nils Johnson-Shelton
- Narrated by: Mel Foster
- Length: 12 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Getting shot in the chest as a rookie ATF agent, bartering for machine guns, throttling down the highway at 100 miles per hour, and responding to a full-scale, bloody riot between the Hells Angels and their rivals, the Mongols - these are just a few of the high-adrenaline experiences Jay Dobyns recounts in this action-packed, hard to imagine, but true story of how he infiltrated the legendary Hells Angels.
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"I would avoid this one..."
- By Chris on 12-27-12
By: Jay Dobyns, and others
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Go-Go Girls of the Apocalypse
- By: Victor Gischler
- Narrated by: Scott Sowers
- Length: 8 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Edgar Award nominee Victor Gischler “specializes in morbid humor, dark sarcasm, and comic noir, complete with violence and mayhem” ( Library Journal). Go-Go Girls of the Apocalypse picks up 10 years after the end of the world. Former insurance salesman Mortimer Tate leaves his secluded cabin and discovers a desolate landscape complete with cowboys, bandits, and cannibals, where the only traces of civilization are found at Joey Armageddon’s Sassy-a-Go-Go club.
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Post-apocalypse with a touch of old west thrown in
- By Michelle on 04-17-12
By: Victor Gischler
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The Mother Road
- By: Meghan Quinn
- Narrated by: Greyson Ash, J.F. Harding
- Length: 10 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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It all started when my brother, Paul, convinced me to go on one last family road trip across the Mother Road with him and my dad. Just like old times, right? Wrong. What Paul fails to mention is his best man, Porter, will be joining us, who just so happens to be my childhood crush and the man who broke my heart four years ago. What is supposed to be a fun family bonding experience across Route 66 turns into a war of pranks, awkward moments and bathrooms full of dirty flannel shirts and day-old beard clippings.
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A little juvenile for my tastes.
- By Daniele on 08-18-17
By: Meghan Quinn
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From Here to Eternity
- By: James Jones
- Narrated by: Elijah Alexander
- Length: 36 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Diamond Head, Hawaii, 1941. Pvt. Robert E. Lee Prewitt is a champion welterweight and a fine bugler. But when he refuses to join the company's boxing team, he gets "the treatment" that may break him or kill him. First Sgt. Milton Anthony Warden knows how to soldier better than almost anyone, yet he's risking his career to have an affair with the commanding officer's wife. Both Warden and Prewitt are bound by a common bond: the Army is their heart and blood...and, possibly, their death.
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Genius on Every Level
- By aaron on 06-13-13
By: James Jones
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Gun Church
- By: Reed Farrel Coleman
- Narrated by: Joe Barrett, John Keating
- Length: 10 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Kip Weiler is a self-destructive, washed-up, middle-aged professor. Once a superstar of the literary set, he has bottomed out after years of drinking and not writing anything worth a damn. As the novel begins, he’s teaching classes at a small, rural community college. Kip's talent, money, and chances have just about run out, when he rescues a classroom full of his students from a deranged student gunman who opens fire and takes the class hostage. Things then begin to change for Kip - seemingly for the better....
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THE MAN WHO BELIEVES HE'S SEEN IT ALL IS A BLIND F
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 08-07-15
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The Beast of Barcroft
- By: Bill Schweigart
- Narrated by: Will Damron
- Length: 7 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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Ben McKelvie believes he's moving up in the world when he and his fiancée buy a house in the cushy Washington, DC, suburb of Barcroft. Instead he's moving down - way down - thanks to Madeleine Roux, the crazy neighbor whose vermin-infested property is a permanent eyesore and looming hazard to public health. First Ben's fiancée leaves him; then his dog dies, apparently killed by a predator drawn into Barcroft by Madeleine's noxious menagerie. But the worst is yet to come for Ben.
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Just Bearable
- By Nancy Chilton-Kendrick on 06-18-17
By: Bill Schweigart
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The Last Kings
- The Last Kings Series, Book 1
- By: C. N. Phillips
- Narrated by: Mishi LaChappelle
- Length: 7 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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A city full of lies, deceit, and cold-blooded murder, Detroit plays widow to drug cartel after drug cartel, and the Last Kings are the latest to take over the throne. It seems that nothing can crumble their empire, but when an unexpected series of events take place and blood is shed, everything spirals out of control. Can Sadie and Mocha survive the game as the head women in charge, or will disloyalty and treachery threaten to end them for good?
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Loved it! Can't wait until the next Sequel.
- By Amazon Customer on 03-29-19
By: C. N. Phillips
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A Horse Walks into a Bar
- By: David Grossman, Jessica Cohen
- Narrated by: Joe Barrett
- Length: 5 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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In a little dive in a small Israeli city, Dov Greenstein, a comedian a bit past his prime, is doing a night of stand-up. In the audience is a district court justice, Avishai Lazar, whom Dov knew as a boy, along with a few others who remember Dov as the awkward, scrawny kid who walked on his hands to confound the neighborhood bullies. Gradually, teetering between hilarity and hysteria, Dov's patter becomes a kind of memoir, taking us back into the terrors of his childhood.
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An extraordinary experience
- By Judith on 07-28-17
By: David Grossman, and others
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Sawbones
- By: Melissa Lenhardt
- Narrated by: Suehyla El-Attar
- Length: 12 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Wrongfully accused of murder, Dr. Catherine Bennett is destined to hang...unless she can disappear. With the untamed territory of Colorado as her most likely refuge, she packs her physician's kit and heads West. But even with a new life and name, a female doctor with a bounty on her head can hide for only so long.
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Oh Yeah!
- By Syd Young on 05-04-17
By: Melissa Lenhardt
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Caverns and Creatures: Volume I (Books 1-4)
- By: Robert Bevan
- Narrated by: Jonathan Sleep
- Length: 32 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Swords. Sorcery. Dick Jokes. Truly do the gods smile upon you, dear listener, for the first four books in the hilarious Caverns and Creatures series are now available in one audiobook set. Join Tim, Dave, Julian, and Cooper as they are thrown into a hostile fantasy world filled with magic and monsters, and ruled over by a cruel and sadistic game master who taunts and harasses them while he sits back and eats their fried chicken.
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A great listen, but don't listen while in public!
- By Jonathan on 06-26-19
By: Robert Bevan
What listeners say about When Darkness Falls, He Doesn't Catch It
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Coolbreeze4
- 10-27-18
Funniest Audiobook ever recorded
This book just stole the top spot away from At Night She Cries, While He Rides His Steed. Which makes sense, both books were written by the same author, the amazingly talented Ross Patterson. Cant wait for #3, but Ill listen to both again until then.
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1 person found this helpful
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- paul
- 06-10-19
I wish this book was my son instead of my real son
This book cured my cancer. it's like two nukes and a Corvette having sex. incredible.
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- Naode
- 10-10-18
fucking awesome
another amazing chapter in the tale of the incredibly humble and courteous St James St James. just buy the damn book, you won't regret it.
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- Brent
- 07-15-19
best damn series
Ross really knows how to capture an audience. I couldn't stop listening, and finished it in a day.
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- Patrick burns
- 02-27-21
just buy it!!
what a ride! many twist's and turns..not for the faint of heart. can't wait for the next one.
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- Anonymous User
- 09-23-18
The new viagra
I went from six to midnight from the moment St James St James began talking and didnt go flaccid til the last word was spoken. which sounds impressive, but it's really hard to focus on driving with all the blood rushing down like Niagara falls.
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- Amazon Customer
- 10-04-18
Ohhh My God....
This is fucking amazing! I cant describe this book... The performances where amazing! Ross delivers another killer book! I listened straight threw no breaks it was that good!
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- hi-im-rob
- 02-14-23
Romance for Men
It’s pretty good. Author/Narrator is a genius. Me wife and I both love this audio book.
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- Joseph
- 09-29-18
Amazing
The greatest book ever written because it was written my our generations greatest author. If you don’t like this book than your obviously deaf!
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6 people found this helpful
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- Graham Oakley
- 12-12-18
Ross Patterson is a genius. That is all.
The greatest author of all time returns with yet another masterpiece. I don't know how he does it. I'm just glad he does.
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3 people found this helpful