Would You Rather?
A Memoir of Growing Up and Coming Out
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Narrated by:
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Katie Heaney
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By:
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Katie Heaney
About this listen
A collection of poignant, relatable essays from the author of Never Have I Ever about coming out in her late 20s, entering into her first relationship, and figuring out what it means to be an adult.
When Katie Heaney published her first book of essays, chronicling her singledom up to age 25, she was still waiting to meet the right guy. Three years later, a lot changed. For one thing, she met the right girl.
Here, for the first time, Katie opens up about realizing at the age of 28 that she is gay. In these poignant, funny essays, she wrestles with her shifting sexuality and identity, and describes what it was like coming out to everyone she knows (and everyone she doesn’t). As she revisits her past, looking for any "clues" that might have predicted this outcome, Katie reveals that life doesn’t always move directly from point A to point B - no matter how much we would like it to.
In a warm and relatable voice, Katie tackles everything from the trials of dating in New York City to the growing pains of her first relationship, from obsessing over Harry Styles (because, actually, he does look a bit like a lesbian) to learning to accept herself all over again. Exploring love and sexuality with her neurotic wit and endearing intimacy, Katie Heaney shares the message that it’s never too late to find love - or yourself.
Illustration © 2018 Neil Webb c/o the ispot
©2018 Katie Heaney (P)2018 Random House AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
"Would You Rather? is an extraordinarily generous and affecting book. Katie Heaney has written something with a remarkable amount of room in it - enough for anyone to spread out and connect with. It’s deeply felt, clear-eyed, joyful, and illuminating." (Mallory Ortberg, author of Texts from Jane Eyre: And Other Conversations with Your Favorite Literary Characters)
"Whether you’re single or in a relationship, whether you’re queer, straight, or questioning, whether or not you’re partial to Harry Styles - you will discover something relatable and self-affirming in this honest, heartfelt, hilarious memoir.” (Camille Perri, author of The Assistants)
"What does it mean to find yourself, to know who you are and walk boldly in that truth? Would You Rather? takes readers on that journey along with Katie, reveling in the relief and glee of finding your tribe and frolicking in the exquisite joy of being a woman who loves women." (Jenna Wortham, staff writer at The New York Times Magazine and co-host of the podcast Still Processing)
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I didn't come here to make friends
- By Carolyn on 06-10-15
By: Courtney Robertson, and others
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Love, InshAllah
- The Secret Love Lives of American Muslim Women
- By: Ayesha Mattu, Nura Maznavi
- Narrated by: Lameece Issaq, Piper Goodeve, Lauren Fortgang, and others
- Length: 9 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Romance, dating, sex and - Muslim women? In this groundbreaking collection, 25 American Muslim writers sweep aside stereotypes to share their search for love openly for the first time, showing just how varied the search for love can be - from singles' events and online dating, to college flirtations and arranged marriages, all with a uniquely Muslim twist. These compelling stories of love and romance create an irresistible balance of heart-warming and tantalizing, always revealing and deeply relatable.
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Sex, Love, & Feminism, in the Muslim Women's World
- By Susie on 03-06-13
By: Ayesha Mattu, and others
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The Todd Glass Situation
- A Bunch of Lies about My Personal Life and a Bunch of True Stories about My 30-Year Career in Standup Comedy
- By: Todd Glass, Jonathan Grotenstein
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman
- Length: 6 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Growing up in a Philadelphia suburb in the 1970s was an easy life. Well, easy as long as you didn't have dyslexia or ADD, or were a Jew. And once you added gay into the mix, life became more difficult. So Todd Glass decided to hide the gay part, no matter how comic, tragic, or comically tragic the results. Now, Todd has written an open, honest, and hilarious memoir in an effort to help everyone - young and old, gay and straight - breathe a little more freely.
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Worth It
- By Heather on 11-17-14
By: Todd Glass, and others
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Small Admissions
- A Novel
- By: Amy Poeppel
- Narrated by: Carly Robins
- Length: 9 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Despite her innate ambition and summa cum laude smarts, Kate Pearson has turned into a major slacker. After being dumped by her handsome French "almost fiancé", she abandons her grad school plans and spends her days lolling on the couch, leaving her apartment only when a dog-walking gig demands it. Her friends don't know what to do other than pass tissues and hope for a comeback while her practical sister, Angela, pushes every remedy she can think of, from trapeze class to therapy to job interviews.
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For fans of "Where'd You Go, Bernadette ?"
- By RueRue on 01-16-17
By: Amy Poeppel
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Has Anyone Seen My Pants?
- By: Sarah Colonna
- Narrated by: Sarah Colonna
- Length: 6 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Has Anyone Seen My Pants? is a laugh-out-loud trip around America (and Mexico!) with Sarah as she braves crying in nail salons, mother-daughter road trips, Iowan casinos, and single-shaming resorts. From a fling-gone-wrong to friend breakups and a new romance, Sarah's signature wit and sharp observations take you on a journey at once so deviously funny and surprisingly compassionate that it might just steal your heart - not to mention your pants.
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clearance shelf material
- By lisa martinez on 04-28-15
By: Sarah Colonna
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Ginger Kid
- Mostly True Tales from a Former Nerd
- By: Steve Hofstetter
- Narrated by: Steve Hofstetter
- Length: 5 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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In Ginger Kid, popular comedian Steve Hofstetter grapples with life after seventh grade...when his world fell apart. Formatted as a series of personal essays, Steve walks his listeners through awkward early dating, family turbulence, and the revenge of the bullied nerds. This YA nonfiction is sure to be the beloved next volume for the first generation of Wimpy Kid fans who are all grown up and ready for a new misfit hero.
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Loved it.
- By Justin on 06-28-18
By: Steve Hofstetter
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The Unspeakable
- And Other Subjects of Discussion
- By: Meghan Daum
- Narrated by: Meghan Daum
- Length: 6 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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It's a report tempered by hard times. In "Matricide", Daum unflinchingly describes a parent's death and the uncomfortable emotions it provokes; and in "Diary of a Coma" she relates her own journey to the twilight of the mind. But Daum also operates in a comic register. With perfect precision, she reveals the absurdities of the marriage-industrial complex, of the New Age dating market, and of the peculiar habits of the young and digital.
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Complaining about her dead mom.
- By Erik Hermansen on 11-23-14
By: Meghan Daum
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Unhooked
- How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Love, and Lose at Both
- By: Laura Sessions Stepp
- Narrated by: Ellen Archer
- Length: 9 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Here's an eye-opening examination of the "hookup" culture, seen through the experiences of high-school- and college-age women who confront the hard lessons of dating, love, and sex. Stepp follows three groups of young women and comes away with some disturbing insights. Relationships and romance are seen as messy and time-consuming, and love is postponed or, worse, seen as impossible. Many young women can't handle this, and they're being battered physically and emotionally by the new dating landscape.
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Essential Reading for Parents
- By Elton on 04-19-07
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30 Before 30
- How I Made a Mess of 20s, and You Can Too
- By: Marina Shifrin
- Narrated by: Marina Shifrin
- Length: 6 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Something was nagging Marina Shifrin. As a freshly minted adult with student loan payments and a “real” job she hated that paid her enough to get by if she also worked two other jobs, something needed to change. Marina and her friend each made lists of 30 things they’d do before the age of 30. The first thing on Marina’s list was, “Quit My Shitty Job”. So she did, and just like that the List powered her through her twenties. Told with humor and heart, 30 Before 30 will entertain, motivate, and challenge listeners to get out of their comfort zones and live their best lives.
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Inspiring read
- By Chris Gledhill on 12-18-18
By: Marina Shifrin
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You Lost Him at Hello
- From Dating to 'I Do': Secret Strategies from One of America’s Top Dating Coaches
- By: Jess McCann
- Narrated by: Julia Farhat
- Length: 7 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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She used to make the same mistakes we've all made with men - until she realized that the winning formula to attracting the right guy lay in skills she already had. As a successful saleswoman, Jess has practiced the techniques in promoting a product, finding the right approach, making the pitch, and closing deal after deal. Once she started to apply these same techniques to the dating scene, her love life made a complete 180, and she found herself with more interested men than she knew what to do with.
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great book
- By Barbara on 04-24-13
By: Jess McCann
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Single State of Mind
- By: Andi Dorfman
- Narrated by: Andi Dorfman
- Length: 8 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Andi Dorfman, breakout star of ABC's The Bachelorette and New York Times best-selling author of It's Not Okay, returns with this new collection of her adventures as a still-single gal surviving and thriving in New York City.
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Shallow
- By c63989 on 01-10-18
By: Andi Dorfman
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Separated @ Birth
- A True Love Story of Twin Sisters Reunited
- By: Anais Bordier, Samantha Futerman
- Narrated by: Emily Woo Zeller
- Length: 8 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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It all began when design student Anaïs Bordier viewed a YouTube video and saw her own face staring back. After some research, Anaïs found that the Los Angeles actress Samantha Futerman was born in a South Korean port city called Busan on November 19, 1987 - the exact same location and day that Anaïs was born. This propelled her to make contact - via Facebook. One message later, both girls wondered: Could they be twins?
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Touching, heartwarming
- By Kelvin L. Reed on 11-01-22
By: Anais Bordier, and others
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In the Water They Can't See You Cry
- A Memoir
- By: Amanda Beard, Rebecca Paley
- Narrated by: Tavia Gilbert
- Length: 8 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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At the tender age of 14, Amanda Beard walked onto the pool deck at the Atlanta Olympics carrying her teddy bear, Harold, and left with two silvers and a gold medal. She competed in three more Olympic games, winning a total of seven medals, and enjoyed a lucrative modeling career on the side. At one point, she was the most downloaded female athlete on the Internet. Yet despite her astonishing career and sex-symbol status, Amanda felt unworthy of all her success. Unaware that she was suffering from clinical depression, she hid the pain beneath a megawatt smile.
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I applaud Amanda - but her editor's were lame
- By Heather on 03-10-15
By: Amanda Beard, and others
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Here's the Story
- Surviving Marcia Brady and Finding My True Voice
- By: Maureen McCormick
- Narrated by: Maureen McCormick
- Length: 5 hrs and 58 mins
- Abridged
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Marcia Brady, eldest daughter on television's The Brady Bunch, had it all. But what viewers didn't know about the always sunny, perfect Marcia was that offscreen, her real-life counterpart, Maureen McCormick was living a very different - and not so wonderful - life. Maureen tells the shocking and inspirational true story of the beloved teen and the woman she became.
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Gripping
- By Chris on 08-12-14
What listeners say about Would You Rather?
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Molly
- 10-10-21
Insightful but drawn out
I feel like the author could have cut out at least 3 chapters in this book, more toward the end. The first half is interesting and I learn a lot of cool, quirky things well described. Then once we get to Lydia, it’s just extended extended extended with maybe one sentence that’s a lesson out of each chapter. Loved the first half. Second half I couldn’t wait to get to the end and just finish the book
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- Amazon Customer
- 04-16-19
we need more books like this !!
overall a coming out story that is super honest, relatable, and geared to a younger crowed. feels like the queer version of something straight kids have had multiple choices of for ages, and for that, thank you katie <3 just a little less whinny could be nice, let’s try not to be tina here!
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- Anonymous User
- 06-20-22
Interesting listen
I listened to this book from cover to cover in one day and must say - I enjoyed how she told her life's story. The work is structured well. Each chapter has specific topic and flashes from her life, whitch fall under that topic are told. Also, in bigger scope her life is told in progressive form and we learn about her problems and reasons why she's where she is.
The author a lot refers to a fact that she identifies now as queer. However, she never explains what she understands with that and how she defines that. I mention this because, there's no exact definiton of queer person and each one who defines under that label understands it differently.
After listening to this book, I can conclude that the main reason for her problems with men were due to her childhood and strict rules about having no dates until age of 16. All other problems grew out of this one.
I would encourage others to listen to the story carefully, because if you're listening to it in background while multitasking, you may miss some details and that could ruin your expiriance.
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- Christine Pellegrino
- 09-16-21
Fascinating and much understood. Even at my age.
I grew up believing that every relationship I had would one day lead to marriage. But of course was disappointed when it didn't happen. The author paints a beautiful story of honesty and truth. Even at my age, I still am hoping. Brilliant.
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- Thea Robertson
- 04-24-18
Related and Honest
I got this after listening to the author on a podcast; I found the book honest, reflective, and fun.
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- Erica Rix
- 05-22-19
eh
Great narrator, not the best story. I felt this book was well written but very boring.
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- Jessa Rowan
- 04-30-22
Worst book I’ve ever listened to or read.
I really wanted to like this book. As a queer woman who came out in my early 30’s, I was hoping to relate to this story. With the high reviews, it surely would be an interesting listen/read. Unfortunately, I couldn’t even finish it. I only have an hour left, and that one hour wouldn’t have been worth devoting to such a terrible account of nothing less. Did I want to hear about the complexities of queerness? Yes. Did I instead hear about the authors inexperience with giving hand jobs (yikes), or stalking a One Direction band member? Sadly, yes. The author veered into random side comments and stories that had no worthiness, yet skipped all the moments that had potential for true storytelling. Did I want to hear about the actual unfolding of self discovery, and stories that showed growth and awareness? Yes. Instead, was I shown stories of the author spending money on clothes to make her look more gay? Unfortunately, yes. Perhaps it was the poor editing job, and for that, I’m sorry for the author. In the end, she’s just not that great of a writer. The casual language, the hip phrases and coolness diminished any weight or potential this book actually had. Finally, I wanted to land with a sense of admiration for the author’s story, or connect it with my own. Instead her self deprecating and wining tone made me start to detest her shallowness and privilege. Her reading of her own story was also a poor choice, unfortunately, as her voice was increasingly hard to listen to; I was mentally fatigued and in pain by hour 4.
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- Jessica H.
- 12-31-20
Baby Gay
Would You Rather? is Katie Heaney's memoir of being a 27 year old woman who has never been on a date or been kissed and is still a virgin. Though all of her woe is me moments in the book she decides she has never been on a date with a man because she is a lesbian and has always suppressed her feelings. The book concludes with her recapping her coming out in NYC and not being ostracized by her family and trying to convince herself that she does love her partner even though all she thinks they do is argue.
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