How We Change
(And Ten Reasons Why We Don't)
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Narrated by:
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Nathan Agin
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By:
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Ross Ellenhorn
About this listen
A paradigm-shifting instant classic in the making that challenges our assumptions about change by encouraging us to understand and embrace our resistance to it.
We all have something we want to change about ourselves. But whether it's quitting smoking, losing weight, or breaking some common bad habit or negative behavior pattern, we feel a sense of failure when we don’t succeed. This often sets off a cascade of negative feelings and discouragement, making it even harder to change. The voice in our head tells us: Why bother.
Successful change depends far more on understanding why we don’t change, psychotherapist and sociologist Ross Ellenhorn insists. His decades-long career as a pioneer in helping people overcome extreme psychiatric experiences and problematic substance-use issues - especially those whom the behavioral healthcare system has failed - especially those whom the mental healthcare system has failed - has lead him to develop an effective, long-term method to achieve transformation, from the simplest shifts to the most profound.
In How We Change, Ellenhorn looks to the evolutionary imperatives driving us. We are wired to double down on the familiar because of what he calls the "Fear of Hope" - the act of protecting ourselves from further disappointment. He identifies the “10 Reasons Not to Change” to help us see why we behave the way we do, making it clear that there is nothing broken inside us - it’s how we’re built. By addressing this little known reality, he gives us hope and helps us work toward the change we seek. Ellenhorn speaks to the core of our insecurities and fears about ourselves, with a humor and kindness. By turning our judgments about self-destructive behaviors into curious questions about them, he teaches us to think about our actions to discover what we truly want - even if we’re going about getting it in the wrong way. How We Change is a brilliant approach that will forever alter our perspective - and help us achieve the transformation we truly seek.
Supplemental enhancement PDF accompanies the audiobook.
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
©2020 Ross Ellenhorn (P)2020 HarperAudioListeners also enjoyed...
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You already have the key to unlocking your real personality and fearlessly creating your authentic life free of labels and comparisons–you just need to be shown how. Whether you’re a nerd or a jock, an overachiever or an underachiever, a loner or an outcast, that is not your entire identity. It’s just one tiny part of the vast you.
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Packed with helpful information for teens
- By Janet Garcia on 04-24-23
By: Derek T Freeman
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Stop Saying You're Fine
- Discover a More Powerful You
- By: Mel Robbins
- Narrated by: Joyce Bean
- Length: 7 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Right now, over 100 million Americans secretly feel frustrated and bored with their lives. If you've come to regard yourself as your own worst enemy; if you constantly daydream and wonder, "Is this all there is?"; if you have a tendency, when asked how you're doing, to just say "Fine," you may be one of them. If this sounds familiar, there's clearly something missing from your life. This book will help you discover what it is, and how to win it back.
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STOP and buy The Five Second Rule instead.
- By Ryan Healey on 07-19-17
By: Mel Robbins
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Unlocking Greatness
- The Unexpected Journey from the Life You Have to the Life You Want
- By: Charlie Harary, Mark Dagostino
- Narrated by: Charlie Harary
- Length: 7 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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More often than not, our own mental obstacles are holding us back from the joy, fulfillment, and meaning that we all crave, but by retooling our perspectives, we gain the ability to see the path toward the life we truly desire. Charlie Harary, business executive, professor, speaker, and radio host, combines the wisdom of science, spirituality, and personal growth in practical and understandable terms so you can take the life you have and make it the life you want.
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A great reminder of what's important
- By Amazon Customer on 07-25-21
By: Charlie Harary, and others
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Taming Your Outer Child
- Overcoming Self-Sabotage and Healing from Abandonment
- By: Susan Anderson
- Narrated by: Randye Kaye
- Length: 9 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Chances are, you've already had run-ins with your Outer Child - the self-sabotaging, bungling, and impulsive part of your personality. This misguided, hidden nemesis blows your diet, overspends, and ruins your love life. Your Outer Child acts out and fulfills your legitimate childlike needs and wants in the wrong place, at the wrong time, and in counterproductive ways: It goes for immediate gratification and the quick fix in spite of your best-laid plans.
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Her voice made me cringe.
- By zoe on 02-15-21
By: Susan Anderson
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How Am I Doing?
- 40 Conversations to Have with Yourself
- By: Dr. Corey Yeager, Cade Cunningham - foreword
- Narrated by: Corey Yeager, Cade Cunningham
- Length: 4 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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Every strong relationship is rooted in good conversation, and that's true for your relationship with yourself, too. In How Am I Doing?, Dr. Corey Yeager guides you through a series of reflective questions to help you gain the self-compassion, personal awareness, and healing you seek. So let's check in: How are you doing?
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Great book!
- By Wink on 11-13-22
By: Dr. Corey Yeager, and others
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Finding Your Own North Star
- Claiming the Life You Were Meant to Live
- By: Martha Beck
- Narrated by: Karen White
- Length: 14 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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As the creator of Life Designs, Inc., Martha Beck has helped hundreds of clients find their own North Stars and figure out how to fulfill their potential and create joyful lives through her lectures, seminars, and one-on-one counseling. In this book she shares her step-by-step program that will guide you to fulfill your own potential.
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Narration not for me
- By MARYANN ORDONEZ on 10-02-17
By: Martha Beck
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Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful
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In her groundbreaking 1996 book The Highly Sensitive Person, Dr. Elaine Aron first brought the trait to light, validating the unique lives of one-fifth of the population. With this in-depth audio learning program - taught by Elaine herself, a fellow HSP - she invites us to learn the full scope of what we now know about high sensitivity, including many new research findings and life strategies.
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This Is Life Changing
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From much-admired meditation expert Sebene Selassie, You Belong is a call to action, exploring our tangled relationship with belonging, connection, and each other.
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Too much autobiography and bad assumptions
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In this empowering guide for women who are tired of being told “just be yourself,” host of the chart-topping The Influencer Podcast and business coach Julie Solomon teaches you how to shake off outdated ideas of what is possible and use your newfound confidence to make anything you want happen. In this book, you will learn how to overcome self-loathing, feel good about yourself, and gain the confidence to accept and love yourself for who you are.
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it's good, it's real. time to level up
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What listeners say about How We Change
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Tamara K.
- 05-15-24
Loved it
Very thoughtful, well-rounded, and compassionate approach to personal growth and change. Really enjoyed this work.
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- J'aime Rothbard
- 06-14-21
Embracing the tension
A refreshing guide to examine and perceive the forces that co-exist as we contemplate change.
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4 people found this helpful
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- Erin
- 02-14-23
Comprehensive
This book took ideas I was familiar with and spun them on their head. It was incredibly relatable and exciting to hear my own issues explained in a new way. My only complaint would be that it is low on action items but that’s my preference only. Definitely worth listening to!
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4 people found this helpful
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- Neal
- 10-19-21
love to read
it was good some really great thoughts that are life changing stuck in between some political views that should have been kept personal.
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6 people found this helpful
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- VFP
- 10-11-22
Good points but verbose
The author has some good points but I am afraid it gets lost because he goes on and on. Stories are too long and he doesn’t get to the point. I wish he would summarize better because it was hard to listen and to and focus on his key messages.
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- debbie
- 06-18-21
It just doesn't get any better than this !
My words can not express how this book/author / narrator has touched my heart and mind. Push forward and change and when you just can't anymore, pick this book back up read/listen and press forward again. Although I would have to say change also has a partner and/both to it, and it would be grow. This book makes you feel better about how hard things can be and why in your particular case, and makes you feel strong and truly feel you can carry on with your change and growth.
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4 people found this helpful
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- Michael L. Uyyek
- 01-19-21
A Game-Changing Look at Change
Facilitates self-compassion with personal growth by illuminating the forces pulling at is as we change.
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3 people found this helpful
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- Eric Johnson
- 06-20-21
Breath of fresh air!
Great insights with meaningful anecdotes that aren’t insufferable, as most are in this genre. Change is possible, but thinking differently about the nuances of how is arguably imperative.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Amazon Customer
- 02-28-24
Wonderful insights
Some better and worse chapters. But the most relatable stories felt like I was in my own therapy sessions, hearing a detailed explanation about how my own thoughts and mind work
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- Jessie
- 11-11-20
So worthy!!! And refreshing
This book is a blast of fresh air and a welcome addition to many other excellent resources for making peace with oneself. for me, “the body keeps the score” and “how we change” are my “go to’s” to use when I need a little more self compassion and self-discipline
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8 people found this helpful