We Are Never Meeting in Real Life
Essays
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Narrated by:
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Samantha Irby
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By:
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Samantha Irby
About this listen
A New York Times Best Seller
This essay collection from the “bitches gotta eat” blogger, writer on Hulu’s Shrill, and “one of our country’s most fierce and foulmouthed authors” (Amber Tamblyn, Vulture) is sure to make you alternately cackle with glee and cry real tears.
Whether Samantha Irby is talking about how her difficult childhood has led to a problem in making “adult” budgets; explaining why she should be the new Bachelorette (she’s “35-ish, but could easily pass for 60-something”); detailing a disastrous pilgrimage-slash-romantic-vacation to Nashville to scatter her estranged father’s ashes; sharing awkward sexual encounters; or dispensing advice on how to navigate friendships with former drinking buddies who are now suburban moms (hang in there for the Costco loot!); she’s as deft at poking fun at the ghosts of her past self as she is at capturing powerful emotional truths.
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Everything about 15-year-old Cat's new town in rural Michigan is lonely and off-kilter until she meets her neighbor, the manic, beautiful, pill-popping Marlena. Cat, inexperienced and desperate for connection, is quickly lured into Marlena's orbit by little more than an arched eyebrow and a shake of white-blond hair. As the two girls turn the untamed landscape of their desolate small town into a kind of playground, Cat catalogues a litany of firsts - first drink, first cigarette, first kiss - while Marlena's habits harden and calcify.
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A Brilliant, Agonizing Portrait of a Young Woman
- By Sudi on 06-06-17
By: Julie Buntin
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She's Come Undone
- By: Wally Lamb
- Narrated by: Linda Stephens
- Length: 18 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Meet Dolores Price. She's 13, wise-mouthed but wounded, having bid her childhood goodbye. Beached like a whale in front of her bedroom TV, she spends the next few years nourishing herself with the Mallomars, potato chips, and Pepsi her anxious mother supplies. When she finally rolls into young womanhood at 257 pounds, Dolores is no stronger and life is no kinder. But this time she's determined to rise to the occasion and give herself one more chance before really going belly-up.
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Really disappointing narrator!
- By Jessica Williams on 01-21-12
By: Wally Lamb
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Goodbye, Vitamin
- A Novel
- By: Rachel Khong
- Narrated by: Therese Plummer
- Length: 4 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Freshly disengaged from her fiancé and feeling that life has not turned out quite the way she planned, 30-year-old Ruth quits her job, leaves town, and arrives at her parents' home to find that situation more complicated than she'd realized. Her father, a prominent history professor, is losing his memory and is only erratically lucid. Ruth's mother, meanwhile, is lucidly erratic.
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Hello Sweet Sweet Book
- By Syd Young on 08-06-17
By: Rachel Khong
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I Hate Everyone, Except You
- By: Clinton Kelly
- Narrated by: Clinton Kelly
- Length: 4 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Clinton Kelly is probably best known for teaching women how to make their butts look smaller. But in I Hate Everyone, Except You, he reveals some heretofore unknown secrets about himself, like that he's a finicky connoisseur of 1980s pornography, a disillusioned critic of New Jersey's premier water parks, and perhaps the world's least enthused high school commencement speaker.
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Filthy language overshadowed stories
- By Doris on 04-29-17
By: Clinton Kelly
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Fat Girl Walking
- Sex, Food, Love, and Being Comfortable in Your Skin...Every Inch of It
- By: Brittany Gibbons
- Narrated by: Lauren Fortgang
- Length: 6 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Fat Girl Walking is a collection of stories from my life, my thoughts about the issues that I have faced as a woman, wife, mom, daughter, daughter-in-law, and Internet personality in regards to my weight. I have tried to be as honest as I possibly could - apologies in advance to my husband and parents, but hopefully any discomfort you feel is quickly replaced by laughter.
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One Woman's Body; One Woman's Story
- By Meghan Matt on 06-03-15
By: Brittany Gibbons
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Agorafabulous!
- Dispatches From My Bedroom
- By: Sara Benincasa
- Narrated by: Sara Benincasa
- Length: 7 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
One of the funniest and most poignant books ever written about a mental illness, Agorafabulous! is a hilarious, raw, and unforgettable account of how a terrified young woman, literally trapped by her own imagination, evolved into a (relatively) high-functioning professional smartass. Down to earth and seriously funny, Benincasa's no-holds-barred revelations offer listeners the politically incorrect hilarity they heartily crave, yet is so often missing from your typical, weepy, and redemptive personal memoir.
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More Fun than a Good Cry in a Bathroom Stall
- By Susie on 03-05-15
By: Sara Benincasa
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Too Bright to Hear Too Loud to See
- By: Juliann Garey
- Narrated by: Dan Butler
- Length: 11 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In her tour-de-force first novel, Juliann Garey takes us inside the restless mind, ravaged heart, and anguished soul of Greyson Todd, a successful Hollywood studio executive who leaves his wife and young daughter and for a decade travels the world giving free reign to the bipolar disorder he's been forced to keep hidden for almost 20 years.
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Psychosis or Syphilis?
- By Vira on 04-02-13
By: Juliann Garey
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God-Shaped Hole
- A Novel
- By: Tiffanie DeBartolo
- Narrated by: Rachael Warren
- Length: 10 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
When Beatrice Trixie Jordan replies to a personal ad, she meets Jacob Grace, a charming, effervescent 30-something free-spirit writer passionately seeking life. He possesses his own turns of phrase and ways of thinking and feeling that dissonantly harmonize with Trixie's off-center vision. As they rollercoaster through the joys and furies of their wrenching romance, they try to come to terms with the hurt brought about by both of their distant fathers who, in different ways, forsook them.
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To see a fortune teller or not to see one...
- By Renee on 08-08-18
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The Opposite of Loneliness
- Essays and Stories
- By: Marina Keegan
- Narrated by: Emily Woo Zeller
- Length: 5 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Marina Keegan's star was on the rise when she graduated magna cum laude from Yale in May 2012. She had a play that was to be produced at the New York International Fringe Festival and a job waiting for her at the New Yorker. Tragically, five days after graduation, Marina died in a car crash. Even though she was just 22 when she died, Marina left behind a rich, expansive trove of prose that, like her title essay, captures the hope, uncertainty, and possibility of her generation.
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Probably buy the book too.
- By Soupergirl on 09-14-15
By: Marina Keegan
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Private Citizens
- By: Tony Tulathimutte
- Narrated by: Pete Cross
- Length: 12 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
The story's four whip-smart narrators - idealistic Cory, Internet-lurking Will, awkward Henrik, and vicious Linda - are torn between fixing the world and cannibalizing it. In boisterous prose that ricochets between humor and pain, the four estranged friends stagger through the Bay Area's maze of tech startups, protestors, gentrifiers, karaoke bars, house parties, and cultish self-help seminars, washing up in each other's lives once again.
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Too dour and cynical.
- By Zanriel on 01-18-17
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Darling Days
- A Memoir
- By: iO Tillett Wright
- Narrated by: iO Tillett Wright
- Length: 10 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Born into the beautiful bedlam of downtown New York in the eighties, iO Tillett Wright came of age at the intersection of punk, poverty, heroin, and art. This was a world of self-invented characters, glamorous superstars, and strung-out sufferers, ground zero of drag and performance art. Still, no personality was more vibrant and formidable than iO's mother's. Rhonna, a showgirl and young widow, was a mercurial, erratic glamazon. She was iO's fiercest defender and only authority in a world with few boundaries and even fewer indicators of normal life.
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Can’t wait for more from this Author!
- By Team Hobson on 07-24-19
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I Like You Just the Way I Am
- Stories About Me and Some Other People
- By: Jenny Mollen
- Narrated by: Jenny Mollen
- Length: 7 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Jenny Mollen is an actress and writer living in Los Angeles. She is also a wife, married to a famous guy (which is annoying only because he gets free shit and she doesn't). She doesn't want much from life. Just to be loved - by everybody: her parents, her dogs, her ex-boyfriends, her ex-boyfriends' dogs, her husband, her husband's ex-girlfriends, her husband's ex-girlfriend's new boyfriends, etc.
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Hmm...Why am I listening to a bio of Jenny Mollen?
- By Elisabeth W. on 09-16-15
By: Jenny Mollen
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I Heart My Little A-Holes
- A Bunch of Holy-Crap Moments No One Ever Told You About Parenting
- By: Karen Alpert
- Narrated by: Karen Alpert
- Length: 3 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Popular blogger Karen Alpert shares her hysterical take on the many "joys" of parenting - I Heart My Little A-Holes is full of hilarious stories, lists, thoughts and pictures that will make you laugh so hard you'll wish you were wearing a diaper.
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Hilarious
- By Stephanie on 04-29-14
By: Karen Alpert
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Bookclub or no bookclub?
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Audiobook Treat, Delightful, Short Listen. Laughed out loud and smiled!
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Eighty percent of all businesses fail in their first five years! When you are facing down those kind of odds, you'd better know exactly what you are doing before you take the plunge. Success lies in the system! Gerber knows that for a business to be prosperous it must function like a powerful machine. The type of business is irrelevant - a precise system of dynamic interplay between the connected parts should be in place.
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Like E-myth but sick of Sarah and the pie shop?
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A Good Friend I Never Met
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self absorbed
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How to Get a Man to Cherish You...If You're His Wife
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Narration is the best!
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Upgrade Yourself
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Turbocharge your life.
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So self-involved
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How to Lead Smart People
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Using over 40 simple lessons, How to Lead Smart People shows you how to manage a team of equals with intelligence and diplomacy. Traditional skills are re-evaluated for the leader of a smart team. Split into three sections: leading yourself, leading your team and leading your organisation, the book offers advice for 360-degree management. How to Lead Smart People teaches core skills such as decision-making and delegating but also soft skills such as delivering good and bad news to team members and how to realise longer-term aims such as building trust and growing your team.
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Useless - waste of time
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Furiously Happy
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Audie Award, Humor, 2016. In Furiously Happy, number-one New York Times best-selling author Jenny Lawson explores her lifelong battle with mental illness. A hysterical, ridiculous book about crippling depression and anxiety? That sounds like a terrible idea. But terrible ideas are what Jenny does best.
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Review by a Social Worker
- By dudley1125 on 10-21-15
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Hunger Makes Me a Modern Girl
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From the guitarist of the pioneering band Sleater-Kinney, the book Kim Gordon says "everyone has been waiting for" and a New York Times Notable Book of 2015 - a candid, funny, and deeply personal look at making a life - and finding yourself - in music. Before Carrie Brownstein became a music icon, she was a young girl growing up in the Pacific Northwest just as it was becoming the setting for one the most important movements in rock history.
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fussy
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Matters of Vital Interest
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A memoir of the author's decades-long friendship and spiritual journey with the late singer, songwriter, novelist, and poet Leonard Cohen. Funny, revealing, self-aware, and deeply moving, Matters of Vital Interest is an insightful memoir about Eric Lerner's relationship with his friend, whose idiosyncratic style and dignified life was deeply informed by his spiritual practices.
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Great intimate book about an amazing all time poet
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What listeners say about We Are Never Meeting in Real Life
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
- RRG
- 10-19-17
Author's Narration Really Elevates This Book!
I bought this book after seeing a friend had read and liked it on Goodreads. I didn't know anything about Samantha Irby and I rarely read essays.
tldr; This book was great. Probably better for you if you don't mind narsty talk and have struggled with a mental health issue at some point in life.
Pros:
- Samantha did a great job narrating. I think her humor and openness might have come across differently to me if I hadn't heard her tone of voice.
- This book made me feel things. Better about some rough times in my life. Made my heart hurt something fierce. Made me genuinely happy. Kinda grossed me out.
- Samantha touches on some topics that aren't covered often. Being in a relationship that isn't abusive but isn't not - and the powerlessness of it when you're young and haven't fully accepted yourself - was one thing that I really connected to. But there was a lot in there.
Cons:
- I mean, I had to put headphones on a lot cause there's some narsty stuff in here.
- I didn't really 'get' a lot of the Helen Keller essay.
- I'm not sure if this book will be good for someone who hasn't struggled with mental health issues. I read a negative review by someone who said 'this lady describes herself as lazy so I couldn't like her'. I think that's fair, but that's not how it made me feel.
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- LRose
- 03-18-19
Found my spirit animal
She’s me x100. Hilarious and entertaining, and sometimes uncomfortable, but unapologetic about it. She’s real and everything she relates is identifiable on some level. Her no-bullshit air is her coping mechanism and it’s downright funny as hell. I’m definitely purchasing her other works.
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- V. Hamer
- 01-01-18
Hilarious
Funny, dark, warm, and very smart. Now I want to be Samantha Irby’s friend so much.
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- fenario
- 05-12-21
LOVED THIS BOOK!
Samantha is a funny and relatable author who I wish I could be friends with! I am going to definitely read everything she's ever written :)
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- Eweeezy
- 12-14-21
Love this author
Samantha has easily become one of my favorite comedy authors. She is self-depreciating, crude, and brutally honest. If that describes your sense of humor, you will easily love her.
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- andrea555
- 11-28-21
So very relatable.
Listening to Samantha reminds me the conversations had with my girlfriends on a road trip to a Shreveport casino to play nickel slots.
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- Kate's_Reviews
- 07-20-22
Too funny!!
I thoroughly enjoyed this reading! Samantha is so relatable and honest, and in my saddest moments, her voice lifted me up and made me laugh. On to her next book! :)
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- Amazon Customer
- 02-12-22
Samantha Irby is my favorite person
i just so happen to find myself to be a late 30-something female.
I am single, unmarried, no kids....and I LOVE IRBY (yet im still straight....for now)!
I was sold on the first chapter about tacos, IBS and bridesmaids dresses.
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- Antoinette
- 03-01-18
funny and engaging
I heard about this book because Roxane Gay said it was good. She was right.
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- Elyse S.
- 08-29-18
Funny!
I had never heard of this author before and enjoyed her collection of essays. I did have to speed up the narration, ‘cause girl talks way slow.
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