Making the difficult decision to leave a relationship is one of life's most challenging crossroads, especially when betrayal, chronic disrespect, or ongoing harmful behaviors are involved.

• Seven key indicators that it might be time to consider leaving: persistent harm/abuse, unrepentant behavior without accountability, fundamental incompatibility, stagnation/loss of self, one-sided effort, violation of non-negotiable boundaries, and enabling harm
• Forgiveness doesn't equal reconciliation - they are separate choices that deserve individual consideration
• Before leaving, ensure you've exhausted all reasonable efforts through communication, counseling, and seeking wisdom
• In dangerous situations, prioritize safety above all else and plan carefully with professional guidance
• The biblical perspective offers balance: while God values relationships, Scripture acknowledges situations where distance becomes necessary
• Leaving is necessary when a relationship consistently undermines your safety, dignity or ability to live out your purpose
• The next episode will specifically address when leaving a marriage after sexual betrayal might be necessary

If you're struggling with these difficult decisions, we'd love to connect with you and provide support. Reach out to us at www.hurtmeetshealer.com.

Thank you for listening! For more information about us and the services we offer, visit www.hurtmeetshealer.com.

Intro & Outro music written, performed, and produced by Kim Capps.

This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal, medical, or professional advice. The views expressed by the Host or any Guest(s) are strictly their own and in no way constitute legal, medical, or professional advice.
Copyright ©️ 2025, Hurt Meets Healer, LLC. All rights reserved.

Assumptions can silently erode even the strongest relationships. In this eye-opening continuation of our "Million Dollar Three-Letter Word" series, we dive deep into the personality traits that lead people to assume rather than ask.

Have you ever wondered why some people seem hardwired to make assumptions? We reveal eight distinct personality profiles that struggle with asking direct questions. From the overconfident person who trusts their intuition over seeking input, to the conflict-avoider who assumes to keep the peace, to the emotionally unaware individual who misses crucial cues – each profile offers profound insights into human connection patterns.

The episode takes a particularly fascinating turn when we explore how seemingly opposite traits – like controlling behavior and insecurity – are actually deeply interconnected. Drawing from personal experiences, we share how arrogance often masks vulnerability, and how past childhood experiences shape adult communication patterns. This isn't about labeling or judging; it's about recognizing patterns that might be sabotaging your relationships.

Most compelling is our discussion about how asking questions serves as an "emotional 3D scan" for relationships. Just as Kim's experience with a physical body scan provided clarity and motivation for health changes, asking direct questions offers the same transformative potential for relationships. Standing side-by-side with your partner to address problems creates an entirely different dynamic than confrontation across a divide.

Ready to transform your communication patterns and deepen your connections? This episode provides practical wisdom for recognizing when you're assuming instead of asking, and how to shift toward healthier patterns of interaction. Join us next time as we tackle the challenging question: "Should I Stay or Should I Go?"

Thank you for listening! For more information about us and the services we offer, visit www.hurtmeetshealer.com.

Intro & Outro music written, performed, and produced by Kim Capps.

This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal, medical, or professional advice. The views expressed by the Host or any Guest(s) are strictly their own and in no way constitute legal, medical, or professional advice.
Copyright ©️ 2025, Hurt Meets Healer, LLC. All rights reserved.

The Ask vs. Assume Dilemma: How Your Communication Style Affects Trust

Could your communication style be silently eroding the foundation of your relationships? Dive into the fascinating world of asking versus assuming with us as we explore this deceptively simple yet profound dichotomy that shapes how we connect with others.

The fundamental difference between asking and assuming reveals itself in powerful ways: asking serves as an invitation, welcoming others into meaningful dialogue and shared experiences. It signals respect, consideration, and a genuine desire to understand. Assuming, however, operates from an entitlement mentality that bypasses authentic connection and often creates false narratives about others' thoughts, feelings, and intentions.

We unpack the surprising undercurrent of fear that often drives assumptions – not necessarily fear of the answer, but fear of challenging our own internal narratives about situations and relationships. This becomes particularly significant in contexts of addiction recovery and relationship healing, where assumptions can perpetuate harmful patterns while questions can pave pathways to growth.

The consequences of persistent assuming in relationships prove devastating: eroded trust, accumulated misunderstandings, and partners who feel systematically devalued and ignored. Most poignantly, being constantly assumed about rather than asked can strike at someone's very sense of worth, leaving them questioning their value in the relationship. By contrast, asking fosters openness, demonstrates care, and creates space for genuine connection.

For relationships healing from betrayal, the shift from assuming to asking represents a crucial element in rebuilding trust. The process requires vulnerability, humility, and consistent effort to challenge ingrained communication habits. Yet the potential rewards – deeper understanding, authentic connection, and renewed trust – make this journey essential for relationship healing.

Ready to examine your own communication patterns more closely? Subscribe now and join us next episode as we explore the common characteristics of people who tend toward assuming rather than asking in their relationships.

Thank you for listening! For more information about us and the services we offer, visit www.hurtmeetshealer.com.

Intro & Outro music written, performed, and produced by Kim Capps.

This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal, medical, or professional advice. The views expressed by the Host or any Guest(s) are strictly their own and in no way constitute legal, medical, or professional advice.
Copyright ©️ 2025, Hurt Meets Healer, LLC. All rights reserved.

Follow-through turns the theory of solving problems into practical reality in relationships, serving as the critical component that transforms intentions into actions and maintains trust. We explore why consistent follow-through demonstrates reliability and respect—two essential elements for any relationship to thrive, especially those recovering from betrayal trauma.

• Understanding follow-through as "pressing on in an activity to a conclusion" rather than just making promises
• Examining how betrayal changes brain chemistry, creating trauma responses similar to substance withdrawal
• Recognizing that childhood experiences influence our ability to follow through as adults
• Learning the six steps of effective follow-through: clarity on commitments, planning, taking action, checking progress, consistency, and owning mistakes
• Prioritizing small, consistent steps over grand, one-time gestures when rebuilding trust
• Accepting that healing is a process requiring grace for ourselves and others when we inevitably make mistakes

We root for your healing journey and encourage you to take what's useful from these ideas while discarding what doesn't resonate with your situation. Connect with us at www.hurtmeetshealer.com

Thank you for listening! For more information about us and the services we offer, visit www.hurtmeetshealer.com.

Intro & Outro music written, performed, and produced by Kim Capps.

This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal, medical, or professional advice. The views expressed by the Host or any Guest(s) are strictly their own and in no way constitute legal, medical, or professional advice.
Copyright ©️ 2025, Hurt Meets Healer, LLC. All rights reserved.

The journey from betrayal to healing isn't about quick fixes—it's about deep, transformative solutions that address root causes. In this heartfelt conversation, John and Kim continue their exploration of "solving versus fixing" by presenting six biblical principles that can guide couples through the aftermath of infidelity and betrayal trauma.

Through personal anecdotes, biblical wisdom, and practical application, John and Kim demonstrate that solving relationship problems requires more than surface-level fixes. The work is harder but infinitely more rewarding, as it builds relationships with "good, solid roots" rather than patching over fundamental issues that will inevitably resurface.

Whether you're navigating betrayal trauma or simply seeking healthier ways to resolve conflict in any relationship, this episode offers both compassionate understanding and concrete guidance for moving forward with integrity, wisdom, and hope.

Thank you for listening! For more information about us and the services we offer, visit www.hurtmeetshealer.com.

Intro & Outro music written, performed, and produced by Kim Capps.

This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal, medical, or professional advice. The views expressed by the Host or any Guest(s) are strictly their own and in no way constitute legal, medical, or professional advice.
Copyright ©️ 2025, Hurt Meets Healer, LLC. All rights reserved.

Perhaps most powerfully, we challenge the notion that broken relationships should be "restored" to their previous state. Instead, we advocate for building something entirely new - a relationship founded on honesty, transparency and authentic connection rather than attempting to recreate what was fundamentally flawed.

This episode offers hope through realism - acknowledging the difficulty of relationship repair while providing practical insights on working together through issues that may never completely disappear. Whether you're navigating infidelity, addiction, or simply feeling disconnected, these principles apply to anyone seeking deeper, more authentic connection.

Join us at www.hurtmeetshealer.com to continue your healing journey. Remember, transformation happens gradually as we submit to growth and change - not through quick fixes, but through the patient work of becoming.

Thank you for listening! For more information about us and the services we offer, visit www.hurtmeetshealer.com.

Intro & Outro music written, performed, and produced by Kim Capps.

This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal, medical, or professional advice. The views expressed by the Host or any Guest(s) are strictly their own and in no way constitute legal, medical, or professional advice.
Copyright ©️ 2025, Hurt Meets Healer, LLC. All rights reserved.

When it comes to healing from betrayal trauma and addiction, are you trying to fix a problem or solve it? There's a profound difference, and it could determine whether your recovery lasts or fails.

Fixing applies a temporary patch to immediate symptoms. Like vacuuming only the visible parts of a room while ignoring what's under the furniture, it creates an illusion of completeness when crucial work remains undone. Solving, however, addresses root causes and creates sustainable change through an ongoing process of growth and healing.

This distinction shapes our recovery. True repentance isn't just saying "sorry" when caught, but repeatedly allowing your heart to be softened until change becomes natural. Healing requires individual work alongside couple's work—you can't "fix" another person, but you can partner to clean up the mess together, each taking responsibility for your own healing journey.

Trust issues exist on both sides. The betrayed partner wonders if they're getting the complete truth, watching for "uncleaned corners" that signal continued deception. Meanwhile, the betraying partner must overcome shame to share vulnerably, learning that missing something doesn't define their character but offers an opportunity to grow.

Like a caterpillar becoming a butterfly, transformation happens through a God-designed process that can't be rushed. We grow incrementally through repeated choices to respond differently, fight through shame, and practice vulnerability when hiding feels safer. These small changes compound to create lasting transformation.

What part of your recovery journey are you trying to fix when you should be solving? Share your experience or ask questions about process-oriented healing approaches. Your story matters, and we're here to listen.

Thank you for listening! For more information about us and the services we offer, visit www.hurtmeetshealer.com.

Intro & Outro music written, performed, and produced by Kim Capps.

This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal, medical, or professional advice. The views expressed by the Host or any Guest(s) are strictly their own and in no way constitute legal, medical, or professional advice.
Copyright ©️ 2025, Hurt Meets Healer, LLC. All rights reserved.

When does a negative thought pattern cross the line from protection to poison? Kim and John Capps tackle the thorny subject of resentment after betrayal, exploring the subtle difference between setting boundaries and harboring bitterness.

Drawing from both research and raw personal experience, they break down the eight key factors that transform everyday hurts into hardened resentment: unresolved conflict, fixating on others' faults, communication breakdowns, feeling overlooked, repeated deception, unmet expectations, neglected needs, and harmful comparison. As Kim vulnerably shares, "I had pretty much silently divorced you in my heart," listeners gain a window into the devastating impact of years of addiction and deception on a relationship.

What makes this episode particularly valuable is the practical spiritual wisdom about distinguishing between having difficult thoughts (which is normal) and allowing those thoughts to become sin through rumination and indulgence. Their honest exchange about forgiveness presents it not as erasing consequences but as "canceling the debt" that releases the wounded person from carrying the burden.

Whether you're recovering from betrayal or simply struggling with everyday resentments, this conversation offers both validation and challenge – acknowledging the legitimacy of pain while pointing toward the freedom that comes through releasing resentment's grip. Ready to examine what's really behind your "bad days"? This episode provides the roadmap.

Quotes/Resources:
“What you pay attention to, is what you will remember, and what you remember is what you will anticipate in the future.” - Curt Thompson, Anatomy of the Soul

Article “Your Brain on Resentment” - link Psychology Today

Thank you for listening! For more information about us and the services we offer, visit www.hurtmeetshealer.com.

Intro & Outro music written, performed, and produced by Kim Capps.

This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal, medical, or professional advice. The views expressed by the Host or any Guest(s) are strictly their own and in no way constitute legal, medical, or professional advice.
Copyright ©️ 2025, Hurt Meets Healer, LLC. All rights reserved.