Having Sex, Wanting Intimacy
Why Women Settle for One-Sided Relationships
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Narrated by:
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Barbara Colvin
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By:
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Jill P. Weber
About this listen
Finding lasting love and intimacy can be difficult for many women. Some end up agreeing to sexual relationships hoping that they may lead to longer, more fulfilling relationships, only to be let down when they don't.
Here, Jill Weber explains why women feel forced into a male model of dating that barters sex for the unrealistic hope that it will lead to emotional intimacy. What it leads to for the woman, most often, is disappointment, despair, and impaired self-esteem. "Sextimacy", as Weber terms it, traps women in relationships that are one-sided and lack emotional intimacy. When this happens, women routinely blame themselves instead of realizing they should blame their romantic strategy.
This audiobook, in a step-by-step progression, shows a better way to break the cycle and cultivating better relationships. It teaches women how to recognize when they are in a Sextimacy event as opposed to the beginning of a mutually fulfilling relationship that won't leave them racked with morning-after regrets. And it gives clear direction about what women can do to find warm romantic partnerships that serve their needs.
Using real stories from women of various ages and stages of life, Weber shows how patterns of behavior may develop that produce a vulnerability to being used. Starting in childhood and proceeding through the crucial teen years, she illustrates the factors that may go into this limited approach to cultivating romantic relationships, and provides clear tips on how to stop. Including a series of self-assessments, the audiobook offers women insight into the patterns that rob them of the opportunities to grow and to fulfill their emotional needs. Anyone struggling to break the cycle of having sex without the attendant intimacy they crave will find in this audio a warm and ready approach to finding love and fulfillment.
©2013 Rowman & Littlefield Publishers, Inc. (P)2014 Redwood AudiobooksListeners also enjoyed...
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Is it just a phase, a fad, or a real issue with your teen? This comprehensive guidebook explores the unique challenges that thousands of families face every day raising a teenager who may be transgender, gender-variant, or gender-fluid. Covering extensive research and with many personal interviews, as well as years of experience working in the field, the author covers pressing concerns relating to physical and emotional development, social and school pressures, medical options, and family communications.
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Good information at its core
- By Jeff on 05-22-19
By: Stephanie A. Brill, and others
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The Undervalued Self
- By: Elaine N. Aron
- Narrated by: Marguerite Gavin
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Elaine Aron follows up her best sellers on the highly sensitive person with a groundbreaking new book on the undervalued self. She explains that self-esteem results from having a healthy balance of love and power in our lives. Readers will learn to incorporate love into situations that seem to require power and deal with power struggles that mask themselves as issues of love.
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Life Changing!
- By Salon Finished Dawn on 09-20-15
By: Elaine N. Aron
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Life Unlocked
- 7 Revolutionary Lessons to Overcome Fear
- By: Srinivasan S. Pillay MD
- Narrated by: Bronson Pinchot
- Length: 8 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Both our conscious and more deeply embedded fears act as saboteurs in our lives, influencing us to make "safe" choices and limiting our ability to live happy, fulfilling lives. But imagine if you could learn how to take control of your brain’s instinctive response to danger. In Life Unlocked, Harvard-trained psychiatrist Dr. Srinivasan Pillay draws from cutting-edge research in neuroscience to show you how to do just this: to move past fear and unlock the potential of your life.
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Fascinating science in brain biology
- By Lesley Quick on 09-23-15
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How to Raise a Boy
- The Power of Connection to Build Good Men
- By: Michael C. Reichert
- Narrated by: Adam Grupper
- Length: 11 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Michael C. Reichert draws on his 30 years of experience researching the process by which boys become men to provide a road map for parents and educators who hope to help the boys they love and care about grow into strong, emotionally intelligent, and compassionate men.
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Good overall information, but a but lacking how-to
- By Dima on 01-12-21
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Relationship Breakthrough
- How to Create Outstanding Relationships in Every Area of Your Life
- By: Cloe Madanes, Anthony Robbins
- Narrated by: Aimee Jolson
- Length: 6 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Everyone faces the challenges of making relationships work. Whether with spouses, family members, friends, lovers, or colleagues, relationships have the power to make one feel happy, frustrated, or miserable. In Relationship Breakthrough, Cloe Madanes - an expert in creating healing, empowering relationships - gives listeners vital tools to transform their relationships and their lives. Madanes's cutting-edge methods produce real results and create rewarding, sustainable relationships.
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Disappointed
- By Dee on 01-10-16
By: Cloe Madanes, and others
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Why Good Sex Matters
- Understanding the Neuroscience of Pleasure for a Smarter, Happier, and More Purpose-Filled Life
- By: Nan Wise
- Narrated by: Nan Wise PhD
- Length: 8 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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In Why Good Sex Matters, Wise not only reveals the fundamental problem in how we think about sex and pleasure but also how we arrived at this problematic relationship to begin with. This fascinating book helps us reclaim our innate capacity for joy, fun, exuberance, curiosity, and humor, while showing how reaching our sexual potential makes us smarter, happier, and more productive people. Ultimately, it reveals how a new understanding of sex can lead to a more expansive experience of pleasure in all aspects of our lives.
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An Excellent Read/Listen for Everyone
- By Anastasia L. on 09-06-20
By: Nan Wise
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The Breakup Bible
- The Smart Woman's Guide to Healing from a Breakup or Divorce
- By: Rachel Sussman
- Narrated by: Susan Boyce
- Length: 12 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Psychotherapist and breakup expert Rachel A. Sussman, LCSW, reveals the secrets every woman needs to get her life back on track. Drawing on hundreds of counseling sessions she's conducted with women at all stages of recovery, Sussman developed a proven three-phase process for healing from a breakup.
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lifesaver!
- By Dawson on 11-30-17
By: Rachel Sussman
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The Energies of Love
- Using Energy Medicine to Keep Your Relationship Thriving
- By: Donna Eden, David Feinstein
- Narrated by: Melissa Hurst
- Length: 16 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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In this groundbreaking audiobook, Donna Eden and David Feinstein (authors of Energy Medicine and Energy Medicine for Women) draw on the real-life experiences of couples who have attended their popular "Energies of Love" workshops, as well as their own relationship as husband and wife, to show how an understanding of your energy system and that of your partner can help you build a more harmonious and loving bond.
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If Only
- By Brenda on 07-14-15
By: Donna Eden, and others
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Finally Out
- Letting Go of Living Straight, A Psychiatrist's Own Story
- By: Loren A. Olson MD, Karen Levy - editor
- Narrated by: Loren A. Olson
- Length: 10 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Dr. Loren A. Olson has frequently been asked two questions: How could you not know that you were gay until the age of forty? Wasn't your marriage just a sham to protect yourself at your wife's expense? In Finally Out, Dr. Olson vigorously answers both questions by telling the inspiring story of his evolving sexuality, into which he intelligently weaves psychological concepts and gay history.
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Excellent!
- By Tim Rymel, M.Ed. on 01-29-15
By: Loren A. Olson MD, and others
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Taming Your Outer Child
- Overcoming Self-Sabotage and Healing from Abandonment
- By: Susan Anderson
- Narrated by: Randye Kaye
- Length: 9 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Chances are, you've already had run-ins with your Outer Child - the self-sabotaging, bungling, and impulsive part of your personality. This misguided, hidden nemesis blows your diet, overspends, and ruins your love life. Your Outer Child acts out and fulfills your legitimate childlike needs and wants in the wrong place, at the wrong time, and in counterproductive ways: It goes for immediate gratification and the quick fix in spite of your best-laid plans.
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Her voice made me cringe.
- By zoe on 02-15-21
By: Susan Anderson
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Conquering Shame and Codependency
- 8 Steps to Freeing the True You
- By: Darlene Lancer
- Narrated by: Carlotta Brentan
- Length: 6 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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In Conquering Shame and Codependency, Darlene Lancer sheds new light on shame: how codependents' feelings and beliefs about shame affect their identity, their behavior, and how shame can corrode relationships, destroying trust and love. She then provides eight steps to heal from shame, learn to love yourself, and develop healthy relationships.
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Life Changing
- By Michele Leigh Brown on 05-16-21
By: Darlene Lancer
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Brainstorm
- The Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain
- By: Daniel J. Siegel M.D.
- Narrated by: Daniel J. Siegel M.D.
- Length: 10 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Between the ages of twelve and twenty-four, the brain changes in important and, at times, challenging ways. In Brainstorm, the renowned psychiatrist and bestselling author of Parenting from the Inside Out, The Whole-Brain Child, and Mindsight, Daniel Siegel busts a number of commonly held myths about adolescence — for example, that it is merely a stage of “immaturity” filled with often “crazy” behavior — to reveal how it is in fact a vital time in our lives in terms of charting the course for the adults we ultimately become.
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Narration for kindergarteners...
- By Kalutha on 03-28-14
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Curious?
- By: Todd Kashdan
- Narrated by: Todd Kashdan
- Length: 6 hrs and 4 mins
- Abridged
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Dead cats. That's the image many people conjure up when you mention curiosity. An image perpetuated by a dusty old proverb that has long represented the extent of our understanding of the term. This book might not put the proverb to rest, but it will flip it upside down: far from killing anything, curiosity breathes new life into almost everything it touches.
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Transformative & Engaging
- By Hans on 04-29-09
By: Todd Kashdan
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Soar Above
- How to Use the Most Profound Part of Your Brain Under Any Kind of Stress
- By: Steven Stosny PhD
- Narrated by: Michael Quinlan
- Length: 5 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Success in work, love, and life depends on developing habits that activate the powerful prefrontal cortex when we need it most. Unfortunately, under stress, the human brain tends to revert to emotional habits we forged in toddlerhood: blame, denial, avoidance, reacting to a jerk like a jerk, and turning our connections into cold shoulders - or worse. In Soar Above, renowned relationship expert Dr. Steven Stosny offers a groundbreaking formula for building new, pressure-resistant habits.
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Life changing/planet changing!
- By rowing girl on 10-02-16
What listeners say about Having Sex, Wanting Intimacy
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Krunce
- 10-09-19
Really Helpful
Though this book relies on some at times essentializing views of what women versus men want, I still found this to be really really helpful. I've been reading a lot around this topic of casual sex culture and I think it's powerful to read someone pointing out that in many ways, casual sex culture serves the goals of men (read toxic masculinity). This book really helped me move beyond a casual sex phase into a more emotionally satisfying relational mode.
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1 person found this helpful
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- christina dePoitiers
- 05-02-24
References to points made in every chapter.
Very good narrator and easy to understand examples presented. A must read for all women who date.
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- Irini
- 06-10-20
Excellent eye opening book
I’m a counselor and I found this book to be incredibly useful and it was well written. The audible version was delightful and I now highly recommend it for counselors or heterosexual women who are having relationship difficulties and have sex but who deep down yearn for emotional intimacy with a man. I have referred this book to a few others who have since told me how much they enjoyed it. This is a wonderful book. I highly recommend it.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Jillian
- 10-04-18
Must read!
This book had helped in so many ways! I've actually met a great guy since adjusting some of my behaviors and letting things build slowly!
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