
A Beauty Queen's Guide to Murder and Mayhem
A Dakota Green Mystery, Book 1
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wishlist failed.
Adding to library failed
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
3 months free
Buy for $27.30
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
-
Narrated by:
-
Katie Beudert
-
By:
-
Kristen Bird
About this listen
Stable hand Dakota Green would rather compete in the Hunger Games than Aubergine’s annual beauty pageant. But her late mother's last wish is about to see her trading her muck boots for Jimmy Choos—and uncover a decades-old mystery of a missing beauty queen.
Welcome to Aubergine, Virginia, where the mountains are blue, the air is sweet, and the beauty queens have secrets darker than last year's spray tan.
Armed with more sarcasm than sequins, Dakota reluctantly enters the cutthroat world of sashes and smiles to save her family home. But when the pageant owner vanishes faster than she can shimmy into an evening gown, suspicion lands on Dakota's beloved Aunt DeeDee.
Now Dakota must navigate a minefield of catty contestants, skeptical judges, the infuriatingly handsome new sheriff and a decades-old mystery of a missing beauty queen—all while mastering the art of walking in heels without looking like a newborn foal. Can this reluctant pageant star unmask a killer, clear her aunt's name, and claim the crown? Or will she be the next to disappear?
Hilarious and heartfelt, A Beauty Queen's Guide to Murder & Mayhem is perfect for fans of small-town mysteries with big laughs. If you love the wit of Janet Evanovich and Elle Cosimano, the charm of Only Murders in the Building, and beauty queens with a penchant for trouble, this book is a must-read.
©2025 Kristen Bird (P)2025 Storm PublishingListeners also enjoyed...
-
Coming in Hot
- A Piper Harris Mystery, Volume 1
- By: Deany Ray
- Narrated by: Jenn Lee
- Length: 7 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Starting a new life in Florida means year-round sunshine, beautiful beaches, and balmy breezes. For most people, anyway. But not for thirtysomething Piper and her grandmother, former members of a motorcycle gang in Oregon. For them, it means entering the witness protection program and moving to Bitter End in the Sunshine State. Yes, to Bitter End. It doesn’t get much more ironic than this.
-
-
cute
- By kwbedsaul on 05-19-25
By: Deany Ray
-
Flipped for Murder
- Country Store Mystery Series #1
- By: Maddie Day
- Narrated by: Laural Merlington
- Length: 8 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Nursing a broken heart, Robbie Jordan is trading in her life on the West Coast for the rolling hills of Southern Indiana. After paying a visit to her Aunt Adele, she fell in love with the tiny town of South Lick. And when she spots a "for sale" sign on a rundown country store, she decides to snap it up and put her skills as a cook and a carpenter to use. Everyone in town shows up for the grand reopening of Pans 'n Pancakes, but when the mayor's disagreeable assistant is found dead, Robbie realizes that not all press is good press.
-
-
Distracting
- By Lola on 04-18-16
By: Maddie Day
-
The Sublet
- A Short Story
- By: Greer Hendricks
- Narrated by: Karissa Vacker
- Length: 1 hr and 29 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Anne is barely keeping it together. A frazzled ghostwriter and aspiring novelist, she juggles nine-year-old twins and a listless marriage from an overcrowded Manhattan apartment, spreading herself thinner each day. Just as Anne is about to give up on her dreams, she lands her biggest client yet: Melody Wells. Melody paints a picture of serenity and empowerment in the lavender haze of her visualization workshops—however, the one thing she can’t manifest are the pages her publisher is demanding for her new motivational book. Enter Anne.
-
-
A crammed mess
- By ALR on 04-02-25
By: Greer Hendricks
-
Meet Your Baker
- By: Ellie Alexander
- Narrated by: Dina Pearlman
- Length: 8 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
After graduating from culinary school, Juliet Capshaw returns to her quaint hometown of Ashland, Oregon, to heal a broken heart and help her mom at the family bakery. The Oregon Shakespeare Festival is bringing in lots of tourists looking for some crumpets to go with their heroic couplets. But when one of Torte's customers turns up dead, there's much ado about murder.
-
-
Fun Culinary Cozy
- By Bookishly on 04-18-18
By: Ellie Alexander
-
The Busy Body
- By: Kemper Donovan
- Narrated by: Eva Kaminsky
- Length: 10 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
It’s a dream assignment. Former Senator Dorothy Gibson, aka that woman, is the most talked-about person in the country right now, though largely for the wrong reasons. As an independent candidate for President of the United States, Dorothy split the vote and is being blamed for the shocking result. After her very public defeat, she’s retreated to her home in rural Maine, inviting her ghostwriter to join her.
-
-
Disappointed
- By Anita on 03-08-24
By: Kemper Donovan
-
Dead to Rights
- Mackenzie Owens Mysteries, Book 1
- By: Jasmine Webb
- Narrated by: Brittany Pressley
- Length: 5 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Mackenzie—Mack—Owens was supposed to live out every millennial’s dream, but instead it turned into a nightmare. Inheriting a house and bookstore, she was going to leave the New York City rat race after getting fired from her job and start a new life on the coast of Cornwall in England. No more 14-hour work days and rats the size of small toddlers. Hello turquoise waters, white sand beaches, and cobblestone streets. Unfortunately, things don’t exactly go as planned.
-
-
too much millennial for me
- By KANDY on 07-05-25
By: Jasmine Webb
-
Coming in Hot
- A Piper Harris Mystery, Volume 1
- By: Deany Ray
- Narrated by: Jenn Lee
- Length: 7 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Starting a new life in Florida means year-round sunshine, beautiful beaches, and balmy breezes. For most people, anyway. But not for thirtysomething Piper and her grandmother, former members of a motorcycle gang in Oregon. For them, it means entering the witness protection program and moving to Bitter End in the Sunshine State. Yes, to Bitter End. It doesn’t get much more ironic than this.
-
-
cute
- By kwbedsaul on 05-19-25
By: Deany Ray
-
Flipped for Murder
- Country Store Mystery Series #1
- By: Maddie Day
- Narrated by: Laural Merlington
- Length: 8 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Nursing a broken heart, Robbie Jordan is trading in her life on the West Coast for the rolling hills of Southern Indiana. After paying a visit to her Aunt Adele, she fell in love with the tiny town of South Lick. And when she spots a "for sale" sign on a rundown country store, she decides to snap it up and put her skills as a cook and a carpenter to use. Everyone in town shows up for the grand reopening of Pans 'n Pancakes, but when the mayor's disagreeable assistant is found dead, Robbie realizes that not all press is good press.
-
-
Distracting
- By Lola on 04-18-16
By: Maddie Day
-
The Sublet
- A Short Story
- By: Greer Hendricks
- Narrated by: Karissa Vacker
- Length: 1 hr and 29 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Anne is barely keeping it together. A frazzled ghostwriter and aspiring novelist, she juggles nine-year-old twins and a listless marriage from an overcrowded Manhattan apartment, spreading herself thinner each day. Just as Anne is about to give up on her dreams, she lands her biggest client yet: Melody Wells. Melody paints a picture of serenity and empowerment in the lavender haze of her visualization workshops—however, the one thing she can’t manifest are the pages her publisher is demanding for her new motivational book. Enter Anne.
-
-
A crammed mess
- By ALR on 04-02-25
By: Greer Hendricks
-
Meet Your Baker
- By: Ellie Alexander
- Narrated by: Dina Pearlman
- Length: 8 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
After graduating from culinary school, Juliet Capshaw returns to her quaint hometown of Ashland, Oregon, to heal a broken heart and help her mom at the family bakery. The Oregon Shakespeare Festival is bringing in lots of tourists looking for some crumpets to go with their heroic couplets. But when one of Torte's customers turns up dead, there's much ado about murder.
-
-
Fun Culinary Cozy
- By Bookishly on 04-18-18
By: Ellie Alexander
-
The Busy Body
- By: Kemper Donovan
- Narrated by: Eva Kaminsky
- Length: 10 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
It’s a dream assignment. Former Senator Dorothy Gibson, aka that woman, is the most talked-about person in the country right now, though largely for the wrong reasons. As an independent candidate for President of the United States, Dorothy split the vote and is being blamed for the shocking result. After her very public defeat, she’s retreated to her home in rural Maine, inviting her ghostwriter to join her.
-
-
Disappointed
- By Anita on 03-08-24
By: Kemper Donovan
-
Dead to Rights
- Mackenzie Owens Mysteries, Book 1
- By: Jasmine Webb
- Narrated by: Brittany Pressley
- Length: 5 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Mackenzie—Mack—Owens was supposed to live out every millennial’s dream, but instead it turned into a nightmare. Inheriting a house and bookstore, she was going to leave the New York City rat race after getting fired from her job and start a new life on the coast of Cornwall in England. No more 14-hour work days and rats the size of small toddlers. Hello turquoise waters, white sand beaches, and cobblestone streets. Unfortunately, things don’t exactly go as planned.
-
-
too much millennial for me
- By KANDY on 07-05-25
By: Jasmine Webb
-
Cruel Candy
- The Cozy Corgi Mysteries, Book 1
- By: Mildred Abbott
- Narrated by: Angie Hickman
- Length: 5 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Winifred Page and her corgi, Watson, move to Estes Park to hit the reset button on life. Fred is about to open her dream bookshop, and the only challenges she anticipates are adjusting to small-town life, tourists, and living close to her loveable mother, Phyllis, and hippy stepfather, Barry. When Fred steps into her soon-to-be-bookshop for the first time, she expects dust bunnies and spiders...not the dead body in the upstairs kitchen. The local police have an easy suspect - Barry.
-
-
Voice
- By Debbie Showalter on 06-27-22
By: Mildred Abbott
-
Guidebook to Murder
- Tourist Trap Mystery Series, Book 1
- By: Lynn Cahoon
- Narrated by: Susan Boyce
- Length: 8 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In the gentle coastal town of South Cove, California, all Jill Gardner wants is to keep her store - Coffee, Books, and More - open and running. So why is she caught up in the business of murder? When Jill's elderly friend Miss Emily calls in a fit of pique, she already knows that the city council is trying to force Emily to sell her dilapidated old house. But Emily's gumption goes for naught when she dies unexpectedly and leaves the house to Jill, along with all of her problems...and her enemies.
-
-
Very Whiny and Slow
- By Ruby on 03-25-15
By: Lynn Cahoon
-
The Diva Runs Out of Thyme
- A Domestic Diva Mystery, Book 1
- By: Krista Davis
- Narrated by: Hillary Huber
- Length: 8 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Few can compete with the Natasha Smith when it comes to entertaining, but her childhood rival, Sophie Winston, certainly tries. While Natasha is known for her intricate centerpieces and painstakingly prepared gourmet meals, Sophie likes to keep things simple...real simple.
-
-
The type of cozy I don't enjoy
- By Meep on 09-11-15
By: Krista Davis
-
Murder at the PTA
- Maya & Sandra Mystery Series, Book 1
- By: Lee Hollis
- Narrated by: Emily Durante
- Length: 8 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Someone is trying to turn Portland High into a school for scandal with a gossipy website called Dirty Laundry. The latest target of ruinous rumors is newly elected PTA President Sandra Wallage. After a heated meeting with outraged parents, Sandra runs into fellow school mom and Private Investigator Maya Kendrick, who's discovered the person behind the website. But when the women storm into the venomous gossip columnist's office they find a lifeless body - along with a confession.
-
-
More please.
- By Placeholder on 11-03-20
By: Lee Hollis
-
An Amateur Sleuth's Guide to Murder
- A Bainbridge Island Mystery, Book 1
- By: Lynn Cahoon
- Narrated by: Vanessa Daniels
- Length: 7 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Meg Gates could use a guidebook for life. Indeed, she's faced some challenges. She dropped out of college to work for a tech startup that failed—and her fiancé just took her bridesmaid to Italy on what was supposed to be Meg's honeymoon. Now, at twenty-six, Meg has taken the ferry ride of shame from Seattle back to Bainbridge Island to live with her family. At least she has her rescue cocker spaniel, Watson, by her side. But it's Meg who could use a rescue—and she's hoping it will come in the form of a part-time gig doing research for a bestselling mystery writer.
-
-
4 stars
- By Beatrice on 06-30-25
By: Lynn Cahoon
-
A High-End Finish
- By: Kate Carlisle
- Narrated by: Angela Starling
- Length: 8 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In the seaside town of Lighthouse Cove, everyone knows the best man for the job is actually a woman - contractor Shannon Hammer. But while Shannon can do wonders with a power drill and a little elbow grease, her love life needs work. On a blind date with real estate agent Jerry Saxton, she has to whip out a pair of pliers to keep Jerry from getting too hands on.Shannon is happy to put her rotten date behind her, but when Jerry's found dead in a run-down Victorian home that she's been hired to restore, the town's attractive new police chief suspects that her threats may have laid the foundation for murder.
-
-
Straight from the halls of middle school
- By Donna on 12-02-15
By: Kate Carlisle
-
The Deep End
- The Country Club Murders, Book 1
- By: Julie Mulhern
- Narrated by: Callie Beaulieu
- Length: 9 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
It's 1974 and Ellison Russell's life revolves around her daughter and her art. She's long since stopped caring about her cheating husband, Henry, and the women with whom he entertains himself. That is, until she becomes a suspect in Madeline Harper's death. The murder forces Ellison to confront her husband's proclivities and his crimes - kinky sex, petty cruelties, and blackmail. As the body count approaches par on the seventh hole, Ellison knows she has to catch a killer.
-
-
Cultural references are outdated, still OK
- By Anita Lynne Holdren on 07-22-18
By: Julie Mulhern
-
Vinyl Resting Place
- Record Shop Mysteries, Book 1
- By: Olivia Blacke
- Narrated by: Nicol Zanzarella
- Length: 9 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When Juni Jessup and her sisters Tansy and Maggie put all their beans in one basket to open Sip & Spin Records, a record-slash-coffee shop in Cedar River, Texas, they knew there could be some scratches on the track, but no one was expecting to find a body deader than disco in the supply closet. Family is everything to the Jessups, so when their uncle is arrested by Juni's heartbreaking ex on suspicion of murder, the sisters don't skip a beat putting Sip & Spin up for bail collateral. But their tune changes abruptly when Uncle Calvin disappears, leaving them in a grind.
-
-
I really wanted to like this book
- By Heather McLeod on 06-16-24
By: Olivia Blacke
-
Booked for Murder
- Old Juniper Bookstore Mysteries, Book 1
- By: P.J. Nelson
- Narrated by: Hallie Bee Bard
- Length: 9 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Madeline Brimley left small-town Georgia many years ago to go to college and pursue her dreams on the stage. Her dramatic escapades are many, but success has eluded her, leaving her at loose ends. But then she gets word that not only has her beloved, eccentric Aunt Rose passed, but she's left Madeline her equally eccentric bookstore housed in an old Victorian mansion in the small college town of Enigma. But when she arrives in her beat-up Fiat to claim The Old Juniper Bookstore—and restart her life—Madeline is faced with unexpected challenges.
-
-
The protagonist
- By Avid series reader on 12-30-24
By: P.J. Nelson
-
Death at the Old Curiosity Shop
- The Cotswold Curiosity Shop Mysteries, Book 1
- By: Debbie Young
- Narrated by: Willow Nash
- Length: 6 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When Alice Carroll steps into Curiosity Cottage, a picture-perfect former bric-a-brac shop in the Cotswold Village of Little Pride, she thinks she’s found the perfect place to start the new phase of her life. Freshly separated from her collector long-term boyfriend, she’s excited to embrace her new, minimalist existence. All Alice needs to do is sell off the left-behind stock, and settle in. But the villagers of Little Pride have other ideas, and Alice quickly realises they won’t give up their beloved shop without a fight.
-
-
Curiosity shop
- By michael benson on 02-12-25
By: Debbie Young
-
Checked Out
- The Village Library Mysteries, Book 1
- By: Elizabeth Spann Craig
- Narrated by: Romy Nordlinger
- Length: 6 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When librarian Ann Beckett finally reluctantly agrees to being set-up on a blind date by one of her over-eager patrons, she figures the worst that could happen would be the two of them wouldn't hit it off. Little did she know that she'd be stood up . . . because her date was murdered. With help from her patrons, Ann tries to find out who might be responsible in the small town of Whitby before more residents are permanently checked out.
-
-
Good new series
- By KatSmith on 06-17-25
-
Parents Weekend
- A Novel
- By: Alex Finlay
- Narrated by: Brittany Pressley
- Length: 7 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In the glow of their children’s exciting first year of college at a small private school in Northern California, five families plan on a night of dinner and cocktails for the opening festivities of Parents Weekend. As the parents stay out way past their bedtimes, their kids—five residents of Campisi Hall—never show up at dinner.
-
-
Great read
- By Anonymous User on 06-29-25
By: Alex Finlay