A Dude's Guide to Baby Size Audiobook By Taylor Calmus cover art

A Dude's Guide to Baby Size

What to Expect and How to Prep for Dads-to-Be

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A Dude's Guide to Baby Size

By: Taylor Calmus
Narrated by: Taylor Calmus
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About this listen

The viral video star behind Dude Dad offers a humorous and heartfelt guide to helping expectant fathers survive and thrive during the wild ride that is 40 weeks of pregnancy.

Numerous apps and books exist to help expectant parents understand their baby’s development by comparing their unborn child to a raspberry or a stalk of broccoli, but Taylor Calmus takes issue with that. First off, your baby is not some wimpy little vegetable. Your baby is like a hardcore little lug nut who is straight-up growing organs on a weekly basis. Second, how big is a stalk of broccoli? And what the heck even is a kumquat? Clearly this situation calls for a better approach. Enter . . . A Dude’s Guide to Baby Size.

  • At week nine, your little shredder resembles the circumference of a guitar pick.
  • At week 24, your budding jalapeño is the size of some concession-stand nachos.
  • By week 34, your little lopper is now the size of a 16-inch largemouth bass that weighs four to five pounds!

This book is full of fun facts about your growing baby, advice on how to help Mom-to-be, as well as ideas and encouragement for you on your journey from Dude to Dude Dad.

Buckle up for a wild ride full of maternity metaphors, gnarly playlists for all the special occasions, new parenting tales, dos and don’ts for expecting dads, and even an entire chapter dedicated to beef brisket!

©2022 Taylor Calmus (P)2022 Random House Audio
Comedy & Humor Fatherhood Relationships Witty
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Critic reviews

"As a dad, I find the biggest gift another dad can give me is their honesty. The assignment of caring for another human being can be insanely daunting, and knowing that other dads, like Taylor, are dealing with the same stuff and able to encourage and joke about it is all I want to hear.” (Tony Hale, actor and comedian)

“Your partner is pregnant? This book will guide you through the dos and don’ts, which will really cut down the number of times you hear, ‘Remember when I was pregnant and you thought it was a good idea to…?’ A Dude’s Guide to Baby Size will give you the perspective of a dad who’s been there, done that—and his wife still loves him. Through his down-to-earth tone filled with humor, great anecdotes, and heartfelt advice, Taylor Calmus will help you make the most of what’s guaranteed to be the most crazy, nerve-racking, and beautiful adventure of your entire life.” (Kristina Kuzmič, speaker and author of Hold On, But Don’t Hold Still)

“This is the book I needed 15 years ago. New parenthood books scared the crap out of me, but Taylor’s book gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling and helps me realize everything will be okay. It makes me want to have another baby, except there’s nothing in the book about how to reverse a vasectomy.” (Penn Holderness, chief creative officer of Holderness Family Productions and coauthor of Everybody Fights: So Why Not Get Better at It?)

What listeners say about A Dude's Guide to Baby Size

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Perfect Listen

Amazing listen! DudeDad really made me feel better about our upcoming little one! Great role model for us everyday guys.

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Relatable and hilarious

The book is relatable in many ways and the humor injected within is Dude Dad perfection. Definitely worth a listen.

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