A Girl's Guide to Vampires
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Narrated by:
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Karen White
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By:
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Katie MacAlister
About this listen
Joy Randall's Top-five tips for vampire hunters:
- Location, location, location. Vampires won't be caught dead (ha!) in places like discos, 10-minute lube shops, or Switzerland. Remember, if you wouldn't be there, neither would a bloodsucker.
- Trust your eyes. You know the handsome, annoyingly arrogant, self-assured man in the shadows with long hair and a cleft in his chin? He's your vampire.
- No matter how tempting it might be, do not "accidentally" acquire a paper cut on your finger and suggest your vampire kiss it to make it better.
- Play it cool. Don't offer to accompany your prince of the night on the talk-show circuit, and whatever you do, don't offer him your heart!
- Most of all, remember: being a vampire is nothing to laugh about.
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Lissianna has been spending her centuries pining for Mr. Right, not just a quick snack, and this sexy guy she finds in her bed looks like he might be a candidate. But there's another, more pressing issue: her tendency to faint at the sight of blood . . . an especially annoying quirk for a vampire. Of course it doesn't hurt that this man has a delicious-looking neck. What kind of cold-blooded vampire woman could resist a bite of that?
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AVOID THIS NARRATOR ! ! !
- By Karen on 04-28-10
By: Lynsay Sands
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The Accidental Werewolf
- Accidentally Friends, Book 1
- By: Dakota Cassidy
- Narrated by: Meredith Mitchell
- Length: 10 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
When Marty Andrews gets bitten by a mangy mutt while walking her teacup poodle, her blond hair darkens, the hair on her legs starts growing at an alarming rate, and her mood swings put her dream job as a sales rep for Bobbie-Sue Cosmetics in serious jeopardy. Then a drool-worthy man shows up at her door claiming that he accidentally bit Marty. And since he's a werewolf, she is now, too. Thinking Keegan Flaherty is clearly insane, Marty refuses to believe a word until a kidnapping makes her realize there's more at stake than just her highlights.
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Too much sex
- By CrunchySocks on 03-17-15
By: Dakota Cassidy
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Knight of a Trillion Stars
- Matrix of Destiny, Book 1
- By: Dara Joy
- Narrated by: Rebecca Cook
- Length: 11 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Fired from her job and exhausted from her miserable commute, the last thing Deana Jones needs when she gets home is to find an alien in her living room. But how else to explain the man who claims he is from beyond the stars? He says his name is Lorgin and that she is part of his celestial destiny. Deana thinks his reasoning is ridiculous, and she knows he's making an error of cosmic proportions. But his touch is electric, and Deana starts to wonder if maybe their passion isn't written in the stars....
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Don't judge it by the cover!
- By bluebelle on 04-22-11
By: Dara Joy
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Possessive Alpha Wolf
- A Paranormal Shifter Romance (Demon Hollowers Motorcycle Club, Book 1)
- By: Skye Wilson, Lindsey Devin
- Narrated by: Allie Martina, Jack Calihan
- Length: 7 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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I’m the guy you don’t want to meet in a dark alley. And that’s just my human side - my wolf is so untamed and dangerous even supernaturals fear me. I’m known for my ability to hunt and kill. It doesn’t matter to me that my next assignment is a small-town schoolteacher. I don’t ask questions. Then I see Serene for the first time. The wolf in me knows immediately she’s my mate, and I’m not going to let anyone else touch her. Except with a contract out on her life, if I don’t kill her, someone else will.
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Great Series Start and I Want More!
- By Gigi on 02-02-22
By: Skye Wilson, and others
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Hell on Wheels
- Black Knights Inc., Book 1
- By: Julie Ann Walker
- Narrated by: Abby Craden
- Length: 9 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance
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Story
Ex-Marine Nate "Ghost" Weller is an expert at keeping his cool - and his distance - which makes him one hell of a sniper. It's also how he keeps his feelings for Ali Morgan in check. Sweet, sexy Ali has always revved his engine, but she's his best friend's baby sister ... and totally off limits. Ali's never seen anything sexier than Nate Weller straddling his custom Harley - or the flash of danger in his eyes when she tells him she's in trouble. First, something happened to her brother, and now she's become the target of a nasty organization.
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Bad Narrator-Good Story.
- By Kindle Customer on 10-05-12
By: Julie Ann Walker
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Blood Ties Book One
- The Turning
- By: Jennifer Armintrout
- Narrated by: Elenna Stauffer
- Length: 10 hrs and 2 mins
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I'm no coward. I want to make that perfectly clear. But after my life turned into a horror movie, I take fear a lot more seriously now. I finally became Dr. Carrie Ames just eight months ago. Then I was attacked in the hospital morgue by a vampire. Just my luck.
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if you love 'bodice ripper novels'...
- By Victoria on 11-03-08
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A Hidden Fire
- Elemental Mysteries, Book 1
- By: Elizabeth Hunter
- Narrated by: Dina Pearlman
- Length: 11 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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No secret stays hidden forever. A phone call from an old friend sets mysterious book researcher Giovanni Vecchio back on the path of a mystery that has eluded him for centuries. Little does he suspect a young librarian holds the key to an ancient secret, nor could he expect the danger Beatrice De Novo would attract. Now both will follow a twisted maze leading from the archives of a university library, through the fires of Renaissance Florence, and toward a passion that could destroy them both.
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What's happened to Dina Pearlman?
- By bluestatereader on 04-03-14
By: Elizabeth Hunter
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Building from Ashes
- Elemental World, Book 1
- By: Elizabeth Hunter
- Narrated by: Dina Pearlman
- Length: 14 hrs and 8 mins
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Overall
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In a world teetering on the edge of change, two beings struggle to find their purpose. Will their paths lead them closer together or tear their worlds apart? For a thousand years, powerful earth vampire Carwyn ap Bryn has served others. God. His family. His friends. But tragedy and loss disrupt his peaceful existence, causing him to question everything he has committed his eternity to.
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G-rated, Christian paranormal suspense
- By tina on 02-01-14
By: Elizabeth Hunter
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Deep Desire
- Deep, Book 1
- By: Z. A. Maxfield
- Narrated by: Caleb Dickenson
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As the Indiana Jones of historical erotica, there is no document existing - or just rumored to exist - Adin Tredeger can't unearth. Why he would risk the biggest coup of his career to join the mile-high club is beyond him. But the disarming, dark-eyed man who somehow enters Adin's locked airplane washroom has him completely nude and coming apart. All without a whimper of protest.
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Better in audio format
- By Kathleen on 10-07-15
By: Z. A. Maxfield
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Secrets
- The Guardian Trilogy, Book 1
- By: Liz Schulte
- Narrated by: Gabriel Vaughan, Piper Goodeve
- Length: 10 hrs and 27 mins
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While Olivia Martin observed life through her camera, the Abyss gazed back at her. She discovers mysterious men follow her around, people close to her are dying, and her dreams are no longer her own as she falls head over heels for a perfect stranger. A chance encounter leads to an obsession that could destroy everything she has ever known or loved. Olivia is about to find out there is a lot she doesn't know and sometimes what you don't know can kill you.
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This is an odd duck.
- By bluestatereader on 07-19-14
By: Liz Schulte
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Great seeing Drake’s Side!
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Very good series start
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AVOID THIS NARRATOR ! ! !
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Porn
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One moment, I was a normal (if somewhat germaphobic) math teacher getting ready for summer vacation. Then my sister died, leaving me with a sword...and her destiny as dragon hunter. It turns out there's a whole other world out there filled with demons, dragons, and spirits. Now my job is to protect mortals - and I haven't got a clue what I'm doing. Then there's tattooed hotness Ian Iskander. Part dragon hunter and part demon, Ian's got some seriously creepy business associates and keeps trying to steal my sword. So why do we keep getting lost in hungry, crazy-hot kisses?
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I don't recall ever submitting a review for any book but...
- By Patricia Quillin on 10-17-18
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The Accidental Werewolf
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When Marty Andrews gets bitten by a mangy mutt while walking her teacup poodle, her blond hair darkens, the hair on her legs starts growing at an alarming rate, and her mood swings put her dream job as a sales rep for Bobbie-Sue Cosmetics in serious jeopardy. Then a drool-worthy man shows up at her door claiming that he accidentally bit Marty. And since he's a werewolf, she is now, too. Thinking Keegan Flaherty is clearly insane, Marty refuses to believe a word until a kidnapping makes her realize there's more at stake than just her highlights.
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Too much sex
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Supernatural Bounty Hunter isn't the sort of thing you see on LinkedIn. But with a rare type of magic like mine, I don't have many options. Dangerous or not, the job is mine. And it was going fine, until an old-as-sin vampire stole my mark, and with it, my pay day. Knowing I'm poor and desperate, he has offered me a job. I'll have to work by his side to help solve a top secret case. Everyone knows not to trust vampires. Especially a hot elder vampire.
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Entertaining New Series
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Don't get me wrong, waking up to discover my ex-husband finally killed me wasn't fun. Finding out I had to get a job and pay Afterlife taxes about 10 minutes later? Let's just say, this wasn't exactly the eternal reward I was hoping for. But beggars can't be choosers, and being a demon sure as hell beats my last occupation. I’m well on my way to retirement behind the pearly gates when the impossible happens. The Risk Witches have a vision.
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Very unexpected
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What listeners say about A Girl's Guide to Vampires
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- ICU1313
- 07-02-19
I'm surprised I enjoyed it.
The book was surprisingly steamy, I really enjoyed it. Usually i don't like these books but I really liked it. I even laughed.
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- customer1966
- 04-15-24
So funny and romantic
Chapter 1 had me roaring, consistently into Chapter 2. I’m so glad someone else has the same sense of humor & gets those jokes other people look at me like I’m crazy.
I’ve read hotter, sexier & more descriptive Vampire romances but this is a true, romance & good comedy thrown in for great measure.
I LOVED IT!
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- chevelle
- 07-05-17
Chevelle
every time I put it down I wanted to pick it back up. narrator was good.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Martha
- 06-30-14
Cute idea, but where's the vampire?
Would you recommend A Girl's Guide to Vampires to your friends? Why or why not?
No. The story is called A Girl's Guide to Vampires, but there is very little girl/vampire interaction. The only redeeming quality about this story was the sex.
Would you listen to another book narrated by Karen White?
As it turned out, I did. I don't really love her as a narrator.
Was A Girl's Guide to Vampires worth the listening time?
It helped the bumper to bumper traffic stress, but otherwise it was not the best few hours of my time.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Barbara
- 02-20-13
THIS is Not the Katie MacAlister we know!!!
I first started listening to Ms MacAlister with the "Dragon Series". I thirsted for each book as it came out. Always pleased with the product, I came back time and again for more. Those series (Green, Silver, Light, Black, etc.) were witty in dialogue, well characterized in number of distinct personalities, broad in storyline and worthy of the public acclaim that they achieved.
Then, having no more in that series to read, I started with some of her "other" Vampire books only a few of which were carried by Audible (Crouching Tiger, Hidden Fang, etc.) and found the surprisingly good as well.
When these 3 books came out in 2013, I was so eager to feed my habit that I did not even listen to a sample of the books, I just purchased them. These books, apparently all in the "Dark Ones" series (but neither labeled nor numbered that way except for this first book) are little more than formulaic with flat characters, shabby storylines and a blind of overly descriptive sex scenes that neither arouse nor deceive the listener into believing that this is up to the previous Ms MacAlister's writings. If these were her first works, I could allow that, as a beginner, she could in time grow to be the KM we all know. However, that is not the case and it appears that these works are merely trying to "cash in" on her previous legacy.
Needless to say I will not be following this series.
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4 people found this helpful
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- Liam T Bear
- 02-27-21
Sadly doesn't quite hold up
I enjoy a lot of Katie McAlister's books and recently finished the Audio versions of her Aisling Grey series. I figured the Dark Ones would be fun next, as I like that series as well.
Unfortunately, the audio performance didn't just detract from the book, it made it very frustrating and unpleasant to listen to. I didn't mind the performer's voices, but I minded very much that anyone who was not American spoke... very... broken... sentences. Even people stated as having an English accent, or the fact that the area they're visiting has people from all over the world visiting. As most of the main characters including both of the love interests are not from the US, it means even during hot and heavy scenes you listen to a character who sounds like Sesame Street's Count and the Swedish Chef had a kid.
Even speeding up the narration didn't help. There is no real characterization of voices -- instead of a voice, they just get stuck with broken, plodding English. Nevermind the main characters are all fluent in English and in text have actual personalities. This was incredibly disappointing, because it's constant, so any of the feelings I had for sections of the book (ridiculous, funny, romantic, sad) are gone and replaced with pure annoyance. I'm sad to lose all of the characters to this.
I forgot how much casual racism was in this book (a lot of g*psy and similar pejoratives), which also led to it not standing up well to nostalgia.
I will re-read this book but not re-listen to it; the whole thing feels whitewashed to the point of no one having any personality at all, which is a shame.
I won't be listening to more in this series if they have the same performer -- most take place in Europe, and I can't listen to every single line of dialogue coming like pulling teeth, word by word, simply because the speaker isn't American. Oof.
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3 people found this helpful
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- Kindle Customer
- 10-22-14
A Girl's Guide to Murder
The cover of the book is misleading.You THINK you will be reading a book on a"Vampires" romance but evidently that was just to tease you into getting the book with the"actual"Vampire in it(Christian Dante).Still,was a great story & the narrator did a great job doing the character's voices & giving them Life BUT it seemed to get hokey there towards the ending & it was dissapointing to me to find out that Raphiel's secret was that he was basically a spy & not a Vampire or some other paranormal creature.I kept hoping something odd would surface about him but it never did.But like I said,still a fun read,not what I expected though.
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- Liz Waddell
- 03-20-21
Ugh others were right
The book had some fun side characters; however, the other reviewers who dislike this heroine were correct. She is frustratingly dumb and annoying with the emotional iq of a rutabaga.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Linda
- 03-12-13
Witty, fun and entertaining
Would you consider the audio edition of A Girl's Guide to Vampires to be better than the print version?
I love to read - but it is a pleasure to listen to a story that has a good plot, romance, intrigue and makes you laugh out loud.
Who was your favorite character and why?
CJ Dante! Handsome 900 year old dark one with a conscious first and Roxy, the life long best friend who tells it like it is!
Which scene was your favorite?
When Joy and Rafael realize he didn't enter her mind or visit her early I the evening.
If you were to make a film of this book, what would be the tag line be?
Time weighs heavy for the Dark One....and then... beloved.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Jenny
- 05-04-17
Fun read
I was in the mood for something light and funny. This one hit the spot!
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1 person found this helpful