The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant (Dramatized Adaptation)
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By:
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Drew Hayes
About this listen
Some people are born boring. Some live boring. Some even die boring. Fred managed to do all three, and when he woke up as a vampire, he did so as a boring one. Timid, socially awkward, and plagued by self-esteem issues, Fred has never been the adventurous sort.
One fateful night - different from the night he died, which was more inconvenient than fateful - Fred reconnects with an old friend at his high school reunion. This rekindled relationship sets off a chain of events thrusting him right into the chaos that is the parahuman world, a world with chipper zombies, truck driver wereponies, maniacal necromancers, ancient dragons, and now one undead accountant trying his best to “survive”.
Because even after it’s over, life can still be a downright bloody mess!
Performed by Christopher Walker, Nora Achrati, Scott McCormick, Alejandro Ruiz, Bradley Smith, Carolyn Kashner, Ken Jackson, Terence Aselford, Richard Rohan, Rose Elizabeth Supan, Mort Shelby, Colleen Delany, Zeke Alton, Henry Kramer, Nanette Savard, and David Zitney.
©2014 Drew Hayes (P)2020 GraphicAudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Sabina Kane doesn't really fit in. And being an assassin doesn't help matters. But she's never brought her work home. Until now. Sabina's latest mission is uncomfortably complex and threatens the fragile peace between the vampire and mage races. As she scrambles to figure out which side she's on, she uncovers a tangled political web, some nasty facts about her family, and some unexpected new talents. Any of these things could be worryingly life changing, but together they could be lethal.
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One of the Worst Books I've "Read"
- By BestBooksBestPrice on 09-12-12
By: Jaye Wells
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The Book of Levi
- The Demon Accords, Book 0.5
- By: John Conroe
- Narrated by: James Patrick Cronin
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Overall
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How do you raise a boy who can bend reality with his mind? How do you keep him levelheaded, sane, and good? Raising any child is a tremendous undertaking, let alone one blessed by the goddess herself. Levi Guildersleeve, retired soldier and successful collector of rare books, finds himself as the only male role model of the most powerful witch ever born.
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This could have been amazing, went on too long.
- By Justin on 11-22-22
By: John Conroe
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Kitty and The Midnight Hour
- Kitty Norville, Book 1
- By: Carrie Vaughn
- Narrated by: Marguerite Gavin
- Length: 7 hrs and 1 min
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Overall
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Kitty Norville is a midnight-shift DJ for a Denver radio station---and a werewolf in the closet. Sick of lame song requests, she accidentally starts "The Midnight Hour," a late-night advice show for the supernaturally disadvantaged. After desperate vampires, werewolves, and witches across the country begin calling in to share their woes, her new show is a raging success.
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BILL CLINTON WAS A WEREWOLF
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 09-27-17
By: Carrie Vaughn
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Graveyard Shift
- By: Michael F. Haspil
- Narrated by: Michael Kramer
- Length: 10 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Alex Menkaure, former pharaoh and mummy, and his vampire partner, Marcus, born in ancient Rome, are vice cops in a special Miami police unit. They fight to keep the streets safe from criminal vampires, shape-shifters, bootleg blood dealers, and anti-vampire vigilantes. When poisoned artificial blood drives vampires to murder, the city threatens to tear itself apart. Only an unlikely alliance with former opponents can give Alex and Marcus a fighting chance against an ancient vampire conspiracy.
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Vampires and humans living in harmony?
- By Anne on 03-23-18
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Vampire Academy
- By: Richelle Mead
- Narrated by: Stephanie Wolf
- Length: 8 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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St. Vladimir’s Academy isn’t just any boarding school—it’s a hidden place where vampires are educated in the ways of magic, and half-human teens train to protect them. Rose Hathaway is a Dhampir, a bodyguard for her best friend Lissa, a Moroi Vampire Princess. They’ve been on the run, but now, they’re being dragged back to St. Vladimir’s—the very place where they’re most in danger....
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Narrator is awful. They should re-record this book!
- By Amazon Customer on 12-18-18
By: Richelle Mead
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Way of the Wolf: Shifter Legacies 1
- By: Mark E. Cooper
- Narrated by: Mikael Naramore
- Length: 18 hrs and 21 mins
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Doctor David Lephmann wants nothing more than to learn about and help the less fortunate, and his new post at Mercy Hospital is the perfect place to do both. His mentor is desperate for the help, and welcomes him to a world of nonhuman customs and strange magics. One night after a long day at the hospital, David is confronted by the reality of life among monsters, when he intervenes in a fight he knows nothing about. He takes a side, and his life is changed forever.
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Vamps Wolves and more
- By Pat on 02-01-15
By: Mark E. Cooper
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Blood Song
- Blood Singer, Book 1
- By: Cat Adams
- Narrated by: Arika Escalona
- Length: 9 hrs and 48 mins
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Overall
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Bodyguard Celia Graves has definitely accepted her share of weird assignments, both human and supernatural. But her newest job takes the cake. Guarding a prince from terrorists and religious fundamentalists is hard enough, but it seems like the entire supernatural world is after this guy too. When she is betrayed by those she is employed to help, and everything goes horribly wrong, Celia wakes to find herself transformed. Neither human nor vampire, Celia has become an abomination-something that should not exist-and now both human and supernatural alike want her dead.
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Blood Song
- By Andrew on 05-15-12
By: Cat Adams
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Discount Armageddon
- InCryptid, Book 1
- By: Seanan McGuire
- Narrated by: Emily Bauer
- Length: 11 hrs and 20 mins
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The Price family has spent generations studying the monsters of the world, working to protect them from humanity - and humanity from them. Enter Verity Price. Despite being trained from birth as a cryptozoologist, she'd rather dance a tango than tangle with a demon, and is spending a year in Manhattan while she pursues her career in professional ballroom dance. Sounds pretty simple, right?
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I love this book!
- By a on 11-21-12
By: Seanan McGuire
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Storm Front
- The Dresden Files, Book 1
- By: Jim Butcher
- Narrated by: James Marsters
- Length: 8 hrs and 1 min
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Story
A call from a distraught wife, and another from Lt. Murphy of the Chicago PD Special Investigation Unit makes Harry believe things are looking up, but they are about to get worse, much worse. Someone is harnessing immense supernatural forces to commit a series of grisly murders. Someone has violated the first law of magic: Thou Shalt Not Kill. Tracking that someone takes Harry into the dangerous underbelly of Chicago, from mobsters to vampires....
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Excellent Story, Distracting Sound Engineering
- By Tom on 05-20-10
By: Jim Butcher
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An Unattractive Vampire
- By: Jim McDoniel
- Narrated by: Drew Campbell
- Length: 9 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
After three centuries trapped underground, thousand-year-old Yulric Bile, also known as The Cursed One, The Devil's Apprentice, He Who Worships the Slumbering Horrors, awakens only to find that no one believes he is a vampire. Apparently he's just too ugly. Modern vampires, he soon discovers, are pretty, weak, and, most disturbing of all, good.
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Blood, Guts and lots of laughs!
- By Aaron on 08-27-16
By: Jim McDoniel
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Wild Hunger
- Heirs of Chicagoland Series, Book 1
- By: Chloe Neill
- Narrated by: Suzanne Elise Freeman
- Length: 11 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Story
In the first thrilling installment of Chloe Neill's spinoff to the New York Times best-selling Chicagoland Vampires series, a new vampire will find out just how deep blood ties run. As the only vampire child ever born, some believed Elisa Sullivan had all the luck. But the magic that helped bring her into the world left her with a dark secret. Shifter Connor Keene, the only son of North American Central Pack Apex Gabriel Keene, is the only one she trusts with it. But she's a vampire and the daughter of a Master and a Sentinel, and he's prince of the Pack and its future king.
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Rated PG 13 for violence; no intimacy!
- By V from Kansas on 03-05-19
By: Chloe Neill
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Dead to Me
- Simon Canderous, Book 1
- By: Anton Strout
- Narrated by: David DeVries
- Length: 9 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
A new urban fantasy featuring a man working on the right side of the law - with talents that come from left field. Psychometry - the power to touch an object and divine information about its history - has meant a life of petty crime for Simon Canderous, but now he's gone over to the good side. At New York's underfunded and (mostly) secret Department of Extraordinary Affairs, he's learning about red tape, office politics, and the basics of paranormal investigation. But it's not the paperwork that has him breathless.
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Fun - worth the credit
- By BikeVON on 08-03-12
By: Anton Strout
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When bizarre magical disappearances disrupt shows around the city, Esther receives a mysterious warning not to go on with her off-Broadway show. Desperate to stay on stage rather than resort to waiting tables, Esther turns to her new BFF, Dr. Maximillian Zadok, a 350-year-old mage whose day job is protecting New York from Evil. Determined to get to the bottom of this mystery without losing her job, Esther and Max team up with a conjuring cowboy, a banker with stage aspirations, and a flock of fearless drag queens.
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A mostly cozy, slightly magical mystery
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Clean Sweep
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On the outside, Dina Demille is the epitome of normal. She runs a quaint Victorian Bed and Breakfast in a small Texas town, owns a Shih Tzu named Beast, and is a perfect neighbor, whose biggest problem should be what to serve her guests for breakfast.
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Story was good, narrator did not fit.
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Caim makes his living on the edge of a blade, but when a routine job goes south, he is thrust into the middle of an insidious plot. Pitted against crooked lawmen, rival killers, and sorcery from the Other Side, his only allies are Josephine, the socialite daughter of his last victim, and Kit, a guardian spirit no one else can see. But in this fight for his life, Caim only trusts his knives and his instincts, but they won't be enough when his quest for justice leads him from Othir's hazardous back alleys to its shining corridors of power.
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a classic
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Encounter [Dramatized Adaptation]
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Stories of the Trader and his convoy of war wagons endure in the badlands of post-holocaust America. A dealer in Deathlands' most precious commodities - weapons and fuel - Trader takes note of a young Ryan Cawdor. Surrounded in myth and rumor, Trader sets into motion the beginnings of legend at a place called Virtue Lake...At Spearpoint, the ultimate redoubt housing a valuable cache of predark technology, two opposing wills clash. Levi Shabazz intends to carve his own empire out of the vast wastelands, but the Trader intends to thwart him and end his bloody siege of power.
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Disappointing
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What listeners say about The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant (Dramatized Adaptation)
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- jess
- 08-04-24
Cute and funny ( dry humor)
I could see this as a tv series. Not my usual listen but I enjoyed it and it kept me entertained. I really liked the full cast and sound effects. Love the different scenarios of trouble Fred finds himself in. I’m definitely listening to the second book.
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- Danny Moody
- 06-20-24
Nice start
Fun book. I usually don’t like books that feel like they are short story compilations. It is pretty well done here. I think it helps that all of the stories are good.
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- Anonymous User
- 09-29-24
LOVE THIS SERIES!
Great lighthearted fantasy series. Fun adventures and lovable characters. The "Graphic Audio" version is absolutely the best!
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- R. MCRACKAN
- 07-22-22
Every inch as good as the original unabridged
After hearing lovely 7 books with the same narrator, it's quite unsettling at first to hear the full cast.
I was disappointed when it first began. What's the point of full cast if it's just one guy monologuing with a few extra sound effects? That gets fixed pretty quickly. This series accumulates characters one at a time and lets you get to know one before meeting another. It doesn't take long before it has rich dialog and it's no longer just Fred's monologue.
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- J. Strain
- 06-24-24
So happy I happened upon this gem of a series!
Absolutely loved the dramatized adaptation of this book! The entire cast is excellent; I could listen to Christopher Walker narrate just about anything. I truly can’t say enough good things about this book, and I’m thrilled there are quite a few more books in the series.
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- Stephan
- 07-02-23
great listen. looking forward to the series
this would make for a great movie or series adaptation. the voice acting in this was superb.
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- Anonymous User
- 07-24-23
Love it
I heard the 2nd book then this. Now I am addicted with this series.
The story is light and fun, while the performances are superb. It really feels like a movie in your mind.
I hope the really make a series or movie from this
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- alan scarlett
- 05-15-24
Love the supernatural.
I love this story I hope there's more they're only seems to be five chapters I love it I want more Fred
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- Chris
- 08-30-24
Humorous Adventures
The title definitely doesn't match the events - which was obvious but also appreciated. The cast does a great job at bringing all the characters to life. I do feel like it was mostly a handful of short stories bunched together in a novel but the storylines were enjoyable.
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- RJ
- 08-23-21
totally entertaining
I really enjoy this format, it's like a play but for your ears. I like the Fred series. The premise of a boring vampire is super entertaining. I don't think I'd read this as a book, but as a play/radio show format, it's great.
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3 people found this helpful