
All Down Darkness Wide
A Memoir
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Narrated by:
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Seán Hewitt
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By:
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Seán Hewitt
About this listen
Winner of the Rooney Prize for Irish Literature • Named a Best Book of 2022 by Kirkus, Booklist, and Shelf Awareness • Named a Best Book of July by Buzzfeed • A Publishers Weekly Best Nonfiction 2022 Summer Read • Observer Book of the Week • Lammy Finalist
“The most beautiful prose I’ve read in years.”—Alexander Chee, The Atlantic • "Rapturous...Hewitt beautifully illuminates his own darknesses so that we might also see our own."—Melissa Febos, The New York Times Book Review • “Exquisitely written.”—Claire Messud, Harper’s Magazine
When Seán Hewitt meets Elias, the two fall headlong into a love story. But as Elias struggles with severe mental illness, they soon come face-to-face with crisis.
All Down Darkness Wide is a perceptive and unflinching meditation on the burden of living in a world that too often sets happiness and queer life at odds, and a tender and honest portrayal of what it’s like to be caught in the undertow of a loved one’s deep depression. As lives are made and unmade, this memoir asks what love can endure and what it cannot.
Delving into his own history, enlisting the ghosts of queer figures before him, Hewitt plumbs the darkness in search of answers. From a nineteenth-century cemetery in Liverpool to a sacred grotto in the Pyrenees, it is a journey of lonely discovery followed by the light of community. Haunted by the rites of Catholicism and spectres of shame, it is nevertheless marked by an insistent search for beauty.
Hewitt captures transcendent moments in nature with exquisite lyricism, honours the power of reciprocated desire and provides a master class in the incredible force of unsparing specificity. All Down Darkness Wide illuminates a path ahead for queer literature and for the literature of heartbreak, striking a piercing and resonant chord for all who trace Hewitt’s dauntless footsteps.
©2022 Seán Hewitt (P)2022 Penguin AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
"Rapturous . . . even his depictions of cruising have a holy aura. As a dedicated nonfiction writer, I sometimes meet poets’ memoirs with a caginess that is utterly disgraced by a book like this, whose structure is nearly as immaculate as its sentences . . . Writing is always an act of translation, and Hewitt beautifully illuminates his own darknesses so that we might also see our own.”—Melissa Febos, The New York Times Book Review
“Exquisitely written . . . In both the rhythms of his sentences and what he relays, Hewitt places himself firmly in an established British literary tradition . . . Though a study of despair, the memoir is not despairing . . . His call, framed by the poets to whom he feels so profoundly connected, as well as by his own family, is radical, a fervent appeal for presence and belonging.”—Claire Messud, Harper’s Magazine
“Some of the most beautiful prose I’ve read in years . . . intensely original.”—Alexander Chee, The Atlantic
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Overall
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For centuries, evidence of queer love in the ancient world has either been ignored or suppressed. Even today, only a few narratives are widely known: the wild romance of Achilles and Patroclus; the yearning love of Sappho's lyrics; and the three genders introduced in Plato's Symposium. Yet there is a rich literary tradition of queer Greek and Roman love that extends far beyond the prudish translations of these familiar handful of stories. In 300,000 Kisses, award-winning poet Seán Hewitt and renowned designer Luke Edward Hall collect these stories and bring them to vivid life.
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Reclamation of queer history
- By MP on 03-10-25
By: Seán Hewitt, and others
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The Warrior Within
- Own Your Power to Serve, Fight, Protect, and Heal
- By: D.J. Vanas
- Narrated by: D.J. Vanas, Kevin Basik
- Length: 7 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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More than an empowerment manual, The Warrior Within is a call to accomplish the world-changing work you were meant for by tapping into the power of the warrior spirit.
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Boring could of been an email
- By Self taught on 10-24-23
By: D.J. Vanas
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Thirty Million Words
- Building a Child's Brain
- By: Dana Suskind
- Narrated by: Kathleen McInerney
- Length: 8 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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The most important thing we can do for our children is to have conversations with them. Parent-child talk is a fundamental, critical factor in building grit, self-control, leadership skills, and generosity. This landmark account of a new scientific perspective by the founder and director of the Thirty Million Words Initiative, Professor Dana Suskind, describes what works and what doesn't. Discover how to create the best "language environments" for children by following the simple structure of the Three Ts: Tune In, Talk More, Take Turns.
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Great start - finished poorly
- By JD on 11-13-15
By: Dana Suskind
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Travelers to Unimaginable Lands
- Stories of Dementia, the Caregiver, and the Human Brain
- By: Dasha Kiper, Norman Doidge - foreword
- Narrated by: Holly Linneman
- Length: 5 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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After getting a master’s degree in clinical psychology, Dasha Kiper became the live-in caregiver for a Holocaust survivor with Alzheimer’s disease. For a year, she endured the emotional strain of looking after a person whose condition disrupts the rules of time, order, and continuity. Inspired by her own experience and her work counseling caregivers in the subsequent decade, Kiper offers an entirely new way to understand the symbiotic relationship between patients and those tending to them.
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So relevant and helpful for my situation
- By AmazonCustomer on 03-22-23
By: Dasha Kiper, and others
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Her Rites
- A Sacred Journey for the Mind, Body, and Soul
- By: Christy Angelle Bauman
- Narrated by: Christy Angelle Bauman
- Length: 5 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Author, teacher, and therapist Dr. Christy Angelle Bauman has dedicated her life to guiding women on this path to meaning and profound joy. In Her Rites, Dr. Bauman takes you into her office and through six transformative exercises: a deep dive into the most common rites of passage in every woman’s life, when she sometimes loses hold of herself but also has a unique opportunity to reclaim herself.
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A must listen for women of all ages!
- By Tom Williams on 10-30-24
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Friend-ish
- Reclaiming Real Friendship in a Culture of Confusion
- By: Kelly Needham
- Narrated by: Kelly Needham
- Length: 5 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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For many, friends now play the role of family, but often our friendships don't turn out quite as we envisioned or hoped. Bible teacher Kelly Needham debunks our world's constricted, small view of friendship and casts a richer, more life-giving, biblical vision for friendship. In Friend-ish, Kelly Needham takes a close look at what scripture says about friendship. She reveals the distorted view most of us have of it and recasts a glorious vision for a Christian understanding.
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Christian drivel
- By Alison on 10-27-20
By: Kelly Needham
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The Confidence Map
- Charting a Path from Chaos to Clarity
- By: Peter Atwater
- Narrated by: Peter Atwater
- Length: 9 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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What does our desire for certainty and control have to do with our decision-making? According to behavioral economics pioneer Peter Atwater, the answer is simple: everything. In The Confidence Map, Atwater explores the hidden role of confidence in the choices we make, and why events described as being unprecedented are often entirely predictable—if we know what to look for. Using compelling stories from the past and present, Atwater shows listeners how to apply the same tools he teaches to help them make sense of complex situations and optimize strategy.
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Excellent book
- By steve on 08-27-23
By: Peter Atwater
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Let's Make Things Better
- A Holocaust Survivor's Message of Hope and Celebration of Life
- By: Gidon Lev, Julie Gray - contributor
- Narrated by: Yuval Dor, Julie Gray, Gidon Lev
- Length: 7 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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On May 8, 1945, when he was just ten years old, Gidon Lev was liberated from a Nazi concentration camp after four nightmarish years. Twenty-six family members, including Gidon’s beloved father and grandparents, were murdered in the Holocaust. Only Gidon and his mother survived. From the depths of despair, a little boy who had lost so much was determined to build a life filled with adventure and love. And that is exactly what he did.
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Incredible content :) beautifully read!
- By PaulaQK on 03-17-25
By: Gidon Lev, and others
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Wild Trail
- By: A. M. Arthur
- Narrated by: Greg Boudreaux
- Length: 9 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Mack Garrett loves the rolling hills surrounding his Northern California dude ranch. Leading vacationers on horse trails with his two best friends is enough - romance is definitely not in the cards. When a sexy tourist shows up at Clean Slate, he's as far from Mack's type as can be. So why is the handsome city slicker so far under his skin in less than a day?
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Yummy Sexy Cowboy and City Dude
- By Erryn Barratt on 12-26-17
By: A. M. Arthur
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Love Is a Burning Thing
- A Memoir
- By: Nina St. Pierre
- Narrated by: Nina St. Pierre
- Length: 8 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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In Love Is a Burning Thing, Nina interrogates what happens to those undiagnosed and unseen. This is a transfixing, moving portrait of a mother-daughter relationship that also examines mental health, stigma, poverty, and gender—and the role that spirituality plays within each. Nina’s writing skirts the mystical, untangles it, and ultimately illuminates it with brilliance.
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In depth expansive memour
- By Lynda Sheridan on 06-10-24
By: Nina St. Pierre
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Real Life
- A Novel
- By: Brandon Taylor
- Narrated by: Kevin R. Free
- Length: 9 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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Almost everything about Wallace is at odds with the Midwestern university town where he is working uneasily toward a biochem degree. An introverted young man from Alabama, black and queer, he has left behind his family without escaping the long shadows of his childhood. For reasons of self-preservation, Wallace has enforced a wary distance even within his own circle of friends—some dating each other, some dating women, some feigning straightness.
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Not My Gay Real Life
- By Haynes on 02-29-20
By: Brandon Taylor
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Losing Eden
- Our Fundamental Need for the Natural World and Its Ability to Heal Body and Soul
- By: Lucy Jones
- Narrated by: Lucy Jones
- Length: 6 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Today many of us live indoor lives, disconnected from the natural world as never before. And yet nature remains deeply ingrained in our language, culture, and consciousness. For centuries, we have acted on an intuitive sense that we need communion with the wild to feel well. Now, in our great migration away from the rest of nature, more and more scientific evidence is emerging to confirm its place at the heart of our psychological well-being. So what happens, asks acclaimed journalist Lucy Jones, as we lose our bond with the natural world - might we also be losing part of ourselves?
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Loved this Book
- By Cynthia M. Palm on 01-14-23
By: Lucy Jones
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Living in Flow
- The Science of Synchronicity and How Your Choices Shape Your World
- By: Sky Nelson-Isaacs, Joseph Jaworski - foreword
- Narrated by: John Mark Bowman
- Length: 8 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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When we align with circumstance, circumstance aligns with us. Using a cutting-edge scientific theory of synchronicity, Sky Nelson-Isaacs presents a model for living "in the flow" - a state of optimal functioning, creative thinking, and seemingly effortless productivity. Nelson-Isaacs explains how our choices create meaning, translating current and original ideas from theoretical physics and quantum mechanics into accessible, actionable steps that we can all take to live lives in better alignment with who we are and who we want to be.
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Excellent Narration, Heady Concept
- By Geoff Bowman on 08-11-20
By: Sky Nelson-Isaacs, and others
Stunning
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This is a wise book which should resonate with many gay men, but doubly so if you’re into hearing ultra fine nuances of language, meaning, and sound rendered in brilliant prose.
profound inner journey of a gay man, told in stunning poetic prose
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Layers of meaning
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But I would feel remiss not acknowledging the monumental work that this is, reveling in joyful times and unyieldingly direct about the times when darkness engulfed the lives of the author and the man with whom he had built a life together.
Throughout, I appreciated the way Mr. Hewitt searches for messages and context about what is happening to him in the experiences he's had, lessons he's been taught and literature he has read.
His narrative prowess is concise and poetic, and I loved his cross referencing to other cultural works, like the poetry of Gerard Manley Hopkins.
While the story is wrenching, it also opens the heart and mind to exploration of all the existential questions that so many repressed people (LGBT+, in this example) grapple with. Overlay those with the added pain and burdens brought on by depression and mental illness, and the weight seems unbearable.
Beyond my appreciation of the book's excellent writing quality, I also hope that relief and light - and love - are coming back to the lives of author and his loved ones.
Visceral
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I’m now ready to jump back into “All
Down Darkness” which, I discover, takes a lot more time and a lot more studied concentration to fully appreciate the immersive and emotionally gut wrenching moments
depicted by this gifted young man, young author, who dies for our sins to save the life of the man he loves.
I have never, ever, been more touched by anything read or listened too before. I didn’t know where to begin and quite frankly am averse to offering any glib summation beyond my personal opinion, that “All Down Darkness” is nothing short of a masterpiece.
The very deepest end of the pool
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