
Apocrypha Now
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Narrated by:
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James Urbaniak
About this listen
Mark Russell & Shannon Wheeler's faithful yet irreverent approach to the Bible made their book God Is Disappointed in You a modern cult classic. Now, by popular demand, they turn their attention to the best parts left out of the canonical Bible, including the Midrash, the Apocrypha, Gnostic Gospels, and more! And if you thought the Bible had some weird stuff in it....
Download the accompanying reference guide.©2016 Mark Russell and Shannon Wheeler (P)2016 Audible, Inc.Listeners also enjoyed...
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God Is Disappointed in You
- By: Mark Russell, Shannon Wheeler
- Narrated by: James Urbaniak
- Length: 5 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
God Is Disappointed in You is for people who would like to read the Bible...if it would just cut to the chase. Stripped of its arcane language and interminable passages, every book of the Bible is condensed down to its core message, in no more than a few pages each. Written by Mark Russell with cartoons by New Yorker cartoonist Shannon Wheeler, God Is Disappointed in You is a frequently hilarious, often shocking, but always accurate retelling of the Bible, including the parts selectively left out by Sunday School teachers.
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IT'S BETTER TO BE A LIVING DOG, THAN A DEAD LION
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 08-18-17
By: Mark Russell, and others
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A Brief History of Everyone Who Ever Lived
- The Human Story Retold Through Our Genes
- By: Adam Rutherford
- Narrated by: Adam Rutherford
- Length: 12 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In our unique genomes, every one of us carries the story of our species - births, deaths, disease, war, famine, migration, and a lot of sex. But those stories have always been locked away - until now. Who are our ancestors? Where did they come from? Geneticists have suddenly become historians, and the hard evidence in our DNA has completely upended what we thought we knew about ourselves. Acclaimed science writer Adam Rutherford explains exactly how genomics is completely rewriting the human story - from 100,000 years ago to the present.
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I wish this book was in American high schools.
- By melody sheldon on 03-31-19
By: Adam Rutherford
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The Story of God
- A Biblical Comedy about Love (and Hate)
- By: Chris Matheson
- Narrated by: Chris Matheson
- Length: 3 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance
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Story
The Bible offers some clues to God's personality - he's alternately been called vindictive and just, bloodthirsty and caring, all-powerful and impotent, capricious and foresighted, and loving and hateful. But no one has ever fully explored why God might be such a figure of contrasts. Nor has anyone ever satisfactorily explained what guides his relationship not just with angels, the devil, and his son, but also with all of creation.
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Ever Wonder What God Was Thinking?
- By Dave A on 11-20-15
By: Chris Matheson
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Canada
- By: Mike Myers
- Narrated by: Mike Myers
- Length: 5 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance
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Story
Comedy superstar Mike Myers writes from the (true patriot) heart about his 53-year relationship with his beloved Canada. Mike Myers is a world-renowned actor, director and writer and the man behind some of the most memorable comic characters of our time. But, as he says, "No description of me is truly complete without saying I'm a Canadian". He has often winked and nodded to Canada in his outrageously accomplished body of work, but now he turns the spotlight full-beam on his homeland.
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Thoughtful and perfect for any X-Pat from Canada
- By Hugh Burnham on 05-02-17
By: Mike Myers
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We Are What We Pretend to Be
- The First and Last Works
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- Length: 4 hrs and 29 mins
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Called “our finest black-humorist” by The Atlantic Monthly, Kurt Vonnegut was one of the most influential writers of the 20th century. Now his first and last works come together for the first time in print, in a collection aptly titled after his famous phrase, We Are What We Pretend To Be.
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Not a place to start.
- By Robert on 11-02-12
By: Kurt Vonnegut
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Billions & Billions
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- Length: 9 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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In the final book of his astonishing career, Carl Sagan brilliantly examines the burning questions of our lives, our world, and the universe around us. These luminous, entertaining essays travel both the vastness of the cosmos and the intimacy of the human mind, posing such fascinating questions as how did the universe originate and how will it end, and how can we meld science and compassion to meet the challenges of the coming century?
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To The Stars
- By Judy on 12-31-19
By: Carl Sagan
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God Is Disappointed in You
- By: Mark Russell, Shannon Wheeler
- Narrated by: James Urbaniak
- Length: 5 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
God Is Disappointed in You is for people who would like to read the Bible...if it would just cut to the chase. Stripped of its arcane language and interminable passages, every book of the Bible is condensed down to its core message, in no more than a few pages each. Written by Mark Russell with cartoons by New Yorker cartoonist Shannon Wheeler, God Is Disappointed in You is a frequently hilarious, often shocking, but always accurate retelling of the Bible, including the parts selectively left out by Sunday School teachers.
-
-
IT'S BETTER TO BE A LIVING DOG, THAN A DEAD LION
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 08-18-17
By: Mark Russell, and others
-
A Brief History of Everyone Who Ever Lived
- The Human Story Retold Through Our Genes
- By: Adam Rutherford
- Narrated by: Adam Rutherford
- Length: 12 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In our unique genomes, every one of us carries the story of our species - births, deaths, disease, war, famine, migration, and a lot of sex. But those stories have always been locked away - until now. Who are our ancestors? Where did they come from? Geneticists have suddenly become historians, and the hard evidence in our DNA has completely upended what we thought we knew about ourselves. Acclaimed science writer Adam Rutherford explains exactly how genomics is completely rewriting the human story - from 100,000 years ago to the present.
-
-
I wish this book was in American high schools.
- By melody sheldon on 03-31-19
By: Adam Rutherford
-
The Story of God
- A Biblical Comedy about Love (and Hate)
- By: Chris Matheson
- Narrated by: Chris Matheson
- Length: 3 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The Bible offers some clues to God's personality - he's alternately been called vindictive and just, bloodthirsty and caring, all-powerful and impotent, capricious and foresighted, and loving and hateful. But no one has ever fully explored why God might be such a figure of contrasts. Nor has anyone ever satisfactorily explained what guides his relationship not just with angels, the devil, and his son, but also with all of creation.
-
-
Ever Wonder What God Was Thinking?
- By Dave A on 11-20-15
By: Chris Matheson
-
Canada
- By: Mike Myers
- Narrated by: Mike Myers
- Length: 5 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Comedy superstar Mike Myers writes from the (true patriot) heart about his 53-year relationship with his beloved Canada. Mike Myers is a world-renowned actor, director and writer and the man behind some of the most memorable comic characters of our time. But, as he says, "No description of me is truly complete without saying I'm a Canadian". He has often winked and nodded to Canada in his outrageously accomplished body of work, but now he turns the spotlight full-beam on his homeland.
-
-
Thoughtful and perfect for any X-Pat from Canada
- By Hugh Burnham on 05-02-17
By: Mike Myers
-
We Are What We Pretend to Be
- The First and Last Works
- By: Kurt Vonnegut
- Narrated by: Colin Hanks, Oliver Wyman, Suzanne Toren
- Length: 4 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Called “our finest black-humorist” by The Atlantic Monthly, Kurt Vonnegut was one of the most influential writers of the 20th century. Now his first and last works come together for the first time in print, in a collection aptly titled after his famous phrase, We Are What We Pretend To Be.
-
-
Not a place to start.
- By Robert on 11-02-12
By: Kurt Vonnegut
-
Billions & Billions
- Thoughts on Life and Death at the Brink of the Millennium
- By: Carl Sagan
- Narrated by: Adenrele Ojo, Ann Druyan
- Length: 9 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In the final book of his astonishing career, Carl Sagan brilliantly examines the burning questions of our lives, our world, and the universe around us. These luminous, entertaining essays travel both the vastness of the cosmos and the intimacy of the human mind, posing such fascinating questions as how did the universe originate and how will it end, and how can we meld science and compassion to meet the challenges of the coming century?
-
-
To The Stars
- By Judy on 12-31-19
By: Carl Sagan
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Lamb
- The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal
- By: Christopher Moore
- Narrated by: Fisher Stevens
- Length: 15 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
Verily, the story Biff has to tell is a miraculous one, filled with remarkable journeys, magic, healings, kung fu, corpse reanimations, demons, and hot babes. Even the considerable wiles and devotion of the Savior's pal may not be enough to divert Joshua from his tragic destiny. But there's no one who loves Josh more (except maybe "Maggie," Mary of Magdalan) and Biff isn't about to let his extraordinary pal suffer and ascend without a fight.
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Blasphemus or righteous?
- By Timothy on 08-19-08
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The Trouble with God
- A Divine Comedy About Judgment (and Misjudgment)
- By: Chris Matheson
- Narrated by: Chris Matheson
- Length: 3 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In this riotous, globetrotting sequel to The Story of God, the universe’s premier antihero, God, returns, as lonely, misguided, angry, and troubled as ever. Regretting many of the decisions he made in his debut book, and wrestling with his continued ambivalence to both his son(s) Jesus and his frenemy Satan, God decides to set things right with creation - again. But this time, he asks, why stick around the dusty Land of Israel or a decaying heaven when there’s a much bigger world to explore - and countless others out there just waiting to love and praise him?
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Brilliant!
- By Carly alisa Russell on 01-24-19
By: Chris Matheson
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Naked Statues, Fat Gladiators, and War Elephants
- Frequently Asked Questions About the Ancient Greeks and Romans
- By: Garrett Ryan
- Narrated by: Stephen Graybill
- Length: 7 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Why didn't the ancient Greeks or Romans wear pants? How did they shave? How likely were they to drink fine wine, use birth control, or survive surgery? In a series of short and humorous essays, Naked Statues, Fat Gladiators, and War Elephants explores some of the questions about the Greeks and Romans that ancient historian Garrett Ryan has answered in the classroom and online. Unlike most books on the classical world, the focus is not on famous figures or events, but on the fascinating details of daily life.
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Garret Ryan delivers an accessible and thoroughly entertaining deep dive
- By Rafael on 11-03-21
By: Garrett Ryan
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The Apocrypha: The Complete Volume
- Including the Books of Enoch, Jubilees, and Jasher
- By: Joseph Lumpkin
- Narrated by: Mel Jackson
- Length: 44 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
The official editions of the King James contained the books of the Apocrypha until 1796. Most printers did not clear inventories and change to the 66-book version we know today until the mid 1800's. Ethymologically, the word "apocrypha" means "things that are hidden", but why they were hidden is not clear. Listen to find out more!
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Glad for this Title but Editor Needed
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By: Joseph Lumpkin
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The Listener
- By: Robert R. McCammon
- Narrated by: Marc Vietor
- Length: 10 hrs and 27 mins
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It's 1934. Businesses went under by the hundreds, debt and foreclosures boomed, and breadlines grew in many American cities. In the midst of this misery, some folks explored unscrupulous ways to make money. Angel-faced John Partlow and carnival huckster Ginger LaFrance are among the worst of this lot. Joining together they leave their small-time confidence scams behind to attempt an elaborate kidnapping-for-ransom scheme in New Orleans.
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Too much violence for me.
- By Kathy on 06-26-18
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Miniatures
- The Very Short Fiction of John Scalzi
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Khristine Hvam, Peter Ganim, Luke Daniels, and others
- Length: 2 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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The ex-planet Pluto has a few choice words about being thrown out of the solar system. A listing of alternate histories tells you all the various ways Hitler has died. A lawyer sues an interplanetary union for dangerous working conditions. And four artificial intelligences explain, in increasingly worrying detail, how they plan not to destroy humanity. Welcome to Miniatures: The Very Short Fiction of John Scalzi.
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Small doses of "Scalzian" humor
- By Andre Wallace Simonsen on 01-05-17
By: John Scalzi
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The Word of Promise Audio Bible—New King James Version, NKJV: Complete Bible
- By: Thomas Nelson Inc.
- Narrated by: Jason Alexander, Joan Allen, Richard Dreyfuss, and others
- Length: 98 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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With an original music score by composer Stefano Mainetti (Abba Pater), feature-film quality sound effects, and compelling narration by Michael York and the work of over 500 actors, the The Word of Promise Audio Bible will immerse listeners in the dramatic reality of the scriptures as never before. Each beloved book of the Bible comes to life with outstanding performances by Jim Caviezel as Jesus, Richard Dreyfuss as Moses, Gary Sinise as David, Jason Alexander as Joseph, Marisa Tomei as Mary Magdalene, Stacy Keach as Paul, Louis Gossett, Jr. as John...
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Lovely...needs a section guide. I made one
- By A. Lee on 08-29-16
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The Apocrypha Audiobook
- By: Robert Bagley - editor
- Narrated by: Steve Cook
- Length: 16 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
This is the full, uninterrupted audiobook of the 14 books of The Apocrypha - listen with the passion this masterpiece deserves by number one best-selling voice talent Steve Cook. The word “Apocrypha” originates from the Greek word apókruphos, which means “hidden”, referencing to its selective state in different renditions of books - consequently, many have sought to discover why this is so.
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For Bible Readers
- By Michael Chambers on 11-21-17
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Being There
- By: Jerzy Kosinski
- Narrated by: Dustin Hoffman
- Length: 2 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Academy Award winner Dustin Hoffman gives an understated and exemplary performance of this satiric look at the unreality of American media culture. Chance, the enigmatic gardener, becomes Chauncey Gardiner after getting hit by a limo belonging to a Wall Street tycoon. The whirlwind that follows brings Chance to his new status of political policy advisor and possible vice presidential candidate. His garden-variety political responses, inspired by television, become heralded as visionary, and he is soon a media icon.
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Darkly Funny
- By Ilana on 07-15-12
By: Jerzy Kosinski
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The Fall
- By: Albert Camus
- Narrated by: Edoardo Ballerini
- Length: 3 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Elegantly styled, Camus' profoundly disturbing novel of a Parisian lawyer's confessions is a searing study of modern amorality.
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Wow Wow Wow
- By Lauren C on 07-14-21
By: Albert Camus
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Noah Primeval
- Chronicles of the Nephilim (Volume 1)
- By: Brian Godawa
- Narrated by: Brian Godawa
- Length: 12 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Noah Primeval is a speculative retelling of the beloved story of Noah for a new generation. In an ancient world submerged in darkness, fallen angels rule as gods, and breed giants and monsters. Mankind is enslaved to evil. Noah, a tribal leader, has been prophesied to bring an end to the rule of these "gods" and save humanity from coming destruction. But Noah's wife and son are captives of these dark forces.
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Does Noah really get on the ark?
- By BDubs on 01-13-18
By: Brian Godawa
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They Thirst
- By: Robert R. McCammon
- Narrated by: Ray Porter
- Length: 19 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
It looked like another ordinary day in Los Angeles. Then night came...Evil as old as the centuries has descended upon the City of Angels - it comes as a kiss from the terrifying but seductive immortals. Slowly at first, then by the legions, the ravenous undead choke Los Angeles with bloodthirsty determination - and the hordes of monstrous victims steadily mount each night.
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Better Then Zombies
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 03-30-15
wonderfully put
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I LOVE these people!
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What did you love best about Apocrypha Now?
Everything ,loved the narrator !What other book might you compare Apocrypha Now to and why?
I haven't read any other book but part of the original Apocrypha which is huge !Which scene was your favorite?
Adam and Eve ,Jacob, Joseph, Lol Abraham, all of them, sorry !Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?
Yes ,what moved me was the truth in the book and how it makes you think about what we have been taught from others, but if we really examine what we have been taught we will see the truth verses, the lie. In my opinion. .Any additional comments?
Thank you to the writer and thank you to the narrator you made the book come alive ! I had not read your book God is disappointed in you Soooo, I bought that too. Thanks againLove this book It's funny and makes you think !
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My only criticism is that it wasn't always clear which parts the author was embellishing for comedic effect and which were from the original story.
Interesting and Funny
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It's humor lies in the modern day relatable dialogue interpretations, not on mockery of the texts. It's amazing and insightful!
Wonderful, humorous, and respectful!
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funny and entertaining
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Shines a light on absurdity of it all
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Not usually a funny book fan …
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If you could sum up Apocrypha Now in three words, what would they be?
The inclusion (or follow-up) with the Gnostic texts is excellent.Very contemporary. Well written & performed.
To Authors / illustrator: Can you finish the trilogy, pretty please? Pick a date. Maybe 600 CE. It’s nice and round. Go from there.
It’s sad that I learned more about religion from your book than any other source. Feel “happy with yourselves”, you earned it. Could you please continue the trilogy. Pretty please.
Which character – as performed by James Urbaniak – was your favorite?
James has a great range of character voices. Also liked his use of "pause" to express the meaning, not just the letter, of the book.Awesome book. Finish trilogy...? Pretty please.
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a little different story for a baptist girl
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