Baby's First Book of Socialist Propaganda
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Narrated by:
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David Winograd
About this listen
There are no pretty pictures in this book. Pretty pictures are for soft minds. Do you want your children to be soft-minded? No. You do not. Soft minds are for liberals, and they are the weaklings we are fighting in the east. You want your children to be strong, liberty-loving, free-thinking patriots who will do as we say. You will begin listening to chapters from this audiobook when the precious little fetus being carried by one of your wives is in the first trimester of its life, which began the moment you, the father, soaked her woman parts with your sinful fluids. These stories will be read directly to the precious, darling angel growing in one of your wives' belly so at the moment of birth, the "child" (as we will call it) will be fully educated into the proper way of thinking.
Under no circumstances should the child be allowed to listen to this audiobook itself. It will require your careful supervision as the parent to ensure that the proper lessons are learned from the words contained herein. When the child is removed from your home for mandatory public indoctrination at your own expense, the child will be tested for its knowledge of these principles. Children who do not pass a written test will be sent to the Pain Mines of Wyoming for further processing and the parents of that child will be processed for whatever byproducts can be produced in the rendering process. This audiobook should be listened in a sneering, sarcastic manner so the child will be aware of the foolishness of Socialist thinking. When the child is old enough to have it done without killing it, the child should be spanked on the naked buttocks, with the book, if the child laughs at any part herein.
©2014 William M. Schmalfeldt, Sr. (P)2014 William M. Schmalfeld, Sr.Listeners also enjoyed...
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Wrapped in the Flag chronicles the radical right-wing world of the 1960s, when conspiracy ruled and the John Birch Society made national headlines. The daughter of a John Birch Society leader, Claire Connor introduces us to the extreme ideas of a powerful political fringe group dispensing radical solutions to America's problems. Following in the footsteps of its hero, Senator Joseph McCarthy, the John Birch Society believed that an international Communist conspiracy was on the verge of taking over the government of the United States.
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Where the Tea Party got their crazy ideas
- By James Dew on 08-23-14
By: Claire Conner
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Rick Mercer Final Report
- By: Rick Mercer
- Narrated by: Rick Mercer
- Length: 6 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Rick Mercer can always be relied on to provoke a strong reaction - but what he said one fall day in 2017 truly shocked Canada. In a rant posted on social media, the great Canadian satirist announced loud and clear that the 15th season of the Rick Mercer Report - the nation's best-watched and best-loved comedy show - would be the last. This volume brings together never-before-published rants from the last five seasons of the show, plus a selection of the very best rants from earlier years.
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Mercer Hits It Out Of The Ballpark
- By Wade Lancaster on 11-11-19
By: Rick Mercer
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Dave Barry Hits Below the Beltway
- By: Dave Barry
- Narrated by: Dick Hill
- Length: 4 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Understanding the urgent need for a deeply thoughtful, balanced book to explain our national political process, Dave Barry has not even come close. Though he himself has covered many campaigns, run for president several times, and run for cover at the rainy inauguration of George W. Bush (the man will spare nothing for his art), Barry has instead outdone himself.
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I Love everything Dave Barry, BUT...
- By As my Wimsey takes me on 03-04-13
By: Dave Barry
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F.U.B.A.R.
- America's Right-Wing Nightmare
- By: Sam Seder, Stephen Sherrill
- Narrated by: Sam Seder
- Length: 5 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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The United States has survived clueless presidential administrations before. But no matter how enormous the crisis, the Great Depression, Vietnam, Watergate, or Monica Lewinsky's thong, America always comes out looking like, well, America.
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Don't take this book seriously
- By Richard on 05-25-06
By: Sam Seder, and others
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To Obama
- A Diary of a Nation
- By: Jeanne Marie Laskas
- Narrated by: Jeanne Marie Laskas, Sullivan Jones, MacLeod Andrews, and others
- Length: 12 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Every evening for eight years, at his request, President Obama was given 10 handpicked letters written by ordinary American citizens - the unfiltered voice of a nation - from his Office of Presidential Correspondence. He was the first president to interact daily with constituent mail and to archive it in its entirety. In To Obama, Jeanne Marie Laskas interviews President Obama, the letter writers themselves, and the White House staff who sifted through the powerful, moving, and incredibly intimate narrative of America during the Obama years:
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a must have audible book or print, it will amaze u
- By 1mercedeb8 on 11-08-18
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Jonathan Pie
- Off the Record
- By: Jonathan Pie, Andrew Doyle, Tom Walker
- Narrated by: Jonathan Pie
- Length: 3 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Want to know more about history and politics? Then you should probably go and listen to a proper audiobook. Fancy a laugh at some smutty jokes? Then go and read Viz. But if you fancy a combination of the two, this is the audiobook for you. In Off the Record, bitter and twisted leftie news reporter Jonathan Pie picks 10 of the world's worst wankers and tears them apart. Here you'll find the answers to some difficult questions. With extra swearing.
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Jonathan Pie rocks!
- By vtindiegrrl on 08-05-24
By: Jonathan Pie, and others
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The Book of Joe
- The Life, Wit, and (Sometimes Accidental) Wisdom of Joe Biden
- By: Jeff Wilser
- Narrated by: Johnathan McClain
- Length: 5 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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The aviators. The Amtrak. The ice cream cones. The memes. Few politicians are as iconic, or as beloved, as Joe Biden. Now, in The Book of Joe, Biden fans will finally have the definitive look at America's favorite vice president - and what he can teach us. Structured around key moments in Biden's life and career - and filled with Biden-isms like "That's a bunch of malarkey" and "I may be Irish, but I'm not stupid" - this blend of biography, advice, and humor will reveal the experiences that forged Joe Biden, and the lessons we can use in our own lives.
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I LOVED it!!!
- By Leslie on 11-19-20
By: Jeff Wilser
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The Obama Diaries
- By: Laura Ingraham
- Narrated by: Laura Ingraham
- Length: 11 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Popular conservative radio host Laura Ingraham discusses President Obama's first year in office. Informative and hugely entertaining, The Obama Diaries will inspire both laughter and critical thinking about the future of the nation and the man currently at the helm.
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Almost Not Funny -- Almost!
- By Dan on 07-14-10
By: Laura Ingraham
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Black Man, White House
- An Oral History of the Obama Years
- By: D. L. Hughley
- Narrated by: Mia Barron, Cherise Boothe, Ron Butler, and others
- Length: 9 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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From legendary comedian D. L. Hughley comes a bitingly funny send-up of the Obama years, as "told" by the key political players on both sides of the aisle. What do the Clintons, Republicans, fellow Democrats, and Obama's own family really think of President Barack Obama? Finally, the truth is revealed in this raucously funny "oral history" parody.
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Clever and Hilarious!
- By Fylynne on 07-14-16
By: D. L. Hughley
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Mad Politics
- Keeping Your Sanity in a World Gone Crazy
- By: Dr. Gina Loudon, Sean Hannity - foreword
- Narrated by: Teri Schnaubelt
- Length: 7 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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If the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over but expecting a different result, America has been insane since the Reagan era. But the election of Donald Trump is certainly not like what America has done before. The media delights in diagnosing President Trump as “mad” - but what if he’s actually the cure for a country who’s been going mad for years?
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Fantastic book all the way threw.
- By Francis Cavanaugh on 08-30-20
By: Dr. Gina Loudon, and others
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Concussion (Movie Tie-in Edition)
- By: Jeanne Marie Laskas
- Narrated by: Hillary Huber
- Length: 9 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Jeanne Marie Laskas first met the young forensic pathologist Dr. Bennet Omalu in 2009, while reporting a story for GQ that would go on to inspire the movie Concussion. Omalu told her about a day in September 2002, when, in a dingy morgue in downtown Pittsburgh, he picked up a scalpel and made a discovery that would rattle America in ways he’d never intended. Omalu was new to America, chasing the dream, a deeply spiritual man escaping the wounds of civil war in Nigeria.
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If you know, come forth and speak.
- By Cynthia on 12-14-15
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The Fire This Time
- A New Generation Speaks About Race
- By: Jesmyn Ward
- Narrated by: Cherise Boothe, Michael Early, Kevin R. Free, and others
- Length: 5 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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National Book Award winner Jesmyn Ward takes James Baldwin's 1963 examination of race in America, The Fire Next Time, as a jumping-off point for this groundbreaking collection of essays and poems about race from the most important voices of her generation and our time.
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Delusion shattering
- By Matthew A. Burnett on 06-12-20
By: Jesmyn Ward
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An Inconvenient Book
- Real Solutions to the World's Biggest Problems (Unabridged)
- By: Glenn Beck
- Narrated by: Glenn Beck
- Length: 6 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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The world is a mess. It seems that everywhere listeners turn, there's another problem. What is needed now are solutions. If only there was a man who could simplify things, cut through the rhetoric, and fix everything. Then, if he was just able to put all of that insight into something that people could buy...in a store and online...man, that would great. Wait a minute!
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Waste of Time and Money
- By Crystal on 04-11-09
By: Glenn Beck
What listeners say about Baby's First Book of Socialist Propaganda
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Trish
- 11-21-14
Great sarcastic political book
Would you say that listening to this book was time well-spent? Why or why not?
This book is not for the faint at heart. Do not read it if you do not have a sarcastic bone in your body or if you are easily offended. In other words, this book pretends to be racist and xenophobic. It is cleverly disguised as a story to children while in gestation, so it becomes obvious a satire. The narrorator, David Winograd, has a terrific expressive voice, so it helps with the satirical feeling of the story.
Has Baby's First Book of Socialist Propaganda turned you off from other books in this genre?
To be honest, yes. It's super hard to look past the xenophobia. As sarcastic as it is, one worries that there is a shred of truth in the passionate dialog.
Which character – as performed by David Winograd – was your favorite?
It was hard to focus on characters.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Deedra
- 11-10-14
Baby's first book of socialst Propaganda
If you could sum up Baby's First Book of Socialist Propaganda in three words, what would they be?
I LOVE this!This guy has hit the nail on the head w/Americans attitudes toward our President and the jokers who are also opposing him.Great satire!
What other book might you compare Baby's First Book of Socialist Propaganda to and why?
I've read no other book like this.
What does David Winograd bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?
His sneering reading of the text is wonderful!
Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?
Yes,I laughed and laughed.
Any additional comments?
LOVED it!READ it!
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1 person found this helpful
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- Justin
- 11-29-14
Good writing, Great reading - blasphemous
Any additional comments?
This one vacillates between a 3 and a 4 for me, but that was because I probably wasn't expecting the language or the blasphemous scenario (I get that the author didn't mean it that way, exactly).
The narrator was great, and the humor was great. I found myself pretty engaged (between cringes...) It was shorter than I thought it would be. Take out the loose treatment of God, and I probably would have given it 5 stars. If the above doesn't bother you, you'll likely love it!
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1 person found this helpful
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- ola
- 12-11-14
a very good book
Is there anything you would change about this book?
yes actually , as a Muslim i think the first chapter in the the book was kind of offensive talking about God and Prophet Mohammed , so i skipped the whole chapter.so i would change or remove the first chapter
How would you have changed the story to make it more enjoyable?
well as a middle eastern person , i couldn't understand most of the situations and joke , because i have a very little knowledge in the Political situation in the USA and Europe .
so maybe more Global Politic jokes??
Which character – as performed by David Winograd – was your favorite?
the speaker ofcourese
Did Baby's First Book of Socialist Propaganda inspire you to do anything?
no , but it was really fun reading
Any additional comments?
i would like to thank David , his voice really gave the book more fun aspect .
so thanks David
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- Jonathan Jordan
- 09-11-15
I'm not so sure about this book.
All over the place. Poor execution. Title is amazing. Rest is subpar to awful. Don't get.
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