Before We Were Blue Audiobook By E.J. Schwartz cover art

Before We Were Blue

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Before We Were Blue

By: E.J. Schwartz
Narrated by: Chloe Dolandis, Gail Shalan
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About this listen

Get healthy on their own — or stay sick together?

At Recovery and Relief, a treatment center for girls with eating disorders, the first thing Shoshana Winnick does is attach herself to vibrant but troubled Rowan Parish. Shoshana — a cheerleader on a hit reality TV show — was admitted for starving herself to ensure her growth spurt didn’t ruin her infamous tumbling skills. Rowan, on the other hand, has known anorexia her entire life, thanks to her mother’s “chew and spit” guidance. Through the drudgery and drama of treatment life, Shoshana and Rowan develop a fierce intimacy — and for Rowan, a budding infatuation, that neither girl expects.

As “Gray Girls”, patients in the center’s Gray plan, Shoshana and Rowan are constantly under the nurses’ watchful eyes. They dream of being Blue, when they will enjoy more freedom and the knowledge that their days at the center are numbered. But going home means separating and returning to all the challenges they left behind. The closer Shoshana and Rowan become, the more they cling to each other — and their destructive patterns. Ultimately, the girls will have to choose: their recovery or their relationship.

©2021 North Star Editions (P)2021 Vibrance Press
Body Image & Eating Disorders LGBTQ+ Young Adult Mental Health

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Loved it.

i cant think of anything i didnt like about this book. i liked that there are two narrators and i thought they were both good.

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Before We Were Blue

Glad I got around to finally listening to, and finishing, this book. It was good.

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Lyrical. Beautiful. Raw.

I’m normally wary of ED books, as they are often filled with stereotypes and read like a how-to manual. This is NOT like that. It’s a beautifully written story that those who have ever been lost in the darkness of an ED can relate to. It’s also hopeful and honest, it’s just good.

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Meh

2.5 STARS

Soshana, a cast member on a cheerleading reality show and Rowan, reeling from sexual trauma meet at an eating disorder treatment center, both invested in remaining thin (sick). In order to recover, each must choose to embrace treatment, even if it means leaving the other behind.

I identified more with Soshana, the “good” patient, who was nice, more likable and initially braver. Her mom pressuring her to cheer and disregard treatment advice felt realistic. Rowan’s defense mechanisms and desire to escape also felt authentic. The multidimensional characters were the strongest part of BEFORE WE WERE BLUE.

Debut writer E J Schwartz’s powerful word-building was consistent throughout the book, though at times the pacing was uneven and the story became bogged down with detail not central to character or plot. I loved the backdrop of competitive cheerleading.

The treatment center bears no resemblance to anything in the United States, without insurances companies limiting treatment and unlimited months of inpatient treatment.

I was uncomfortable with Schwartz’s use of several phrases that readers could interpret as antisemetic, though Schwartz is Jewish and her intent obviously wasn’t anti Jewish. In one case the Christian atheist Rowan referee to Shoshana’s “Jew curls” and a Christian adult nicknamed her Bagel and Lox. I would have been devastated if either happened to me and I’m concerned about a non Jewish reader thinking the cute phrases would be appropriate to use with Jewish friends. Again, I’m 100% positive Schwartz meant no harm and that she and I approach Judaism from opposite ends of the spectrum. I checked with another Jewish atheist friend who had the same cringeworthy response as me. I respect Schwartz’s #OwnVoices different experience and also prefer to err on the side of not using phrases that could be fine between two like-minded Jewish people yet otherwise cringeworthy.

I would have rated BEFORE WE WERE BLUE another star if not for the two phrases or if those phrases had been addressed as anti Semitic or at least inappropriate. The phrases are enough to make me unsure about whether I’d recommend this otherwise above average book.

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