Elena Vanishing
A Memoir
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Narrated by:
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Lauren Fortgang
About this listen
Seventeen-year-old Elena is vanishing. Every day means renewed determination, so every day means fewer calories. This is the story of a girl whose armor against anxiety becomes artillery against herself as she battles on both sides of a lose-lose war in a struggle with anorexia.
Told entirely from Elena's perspective over a five-year period and cowritten with her mother, award-winning author Clare B. Dunkle, Elena's memoir is a fascinating and intimate look at a deadly disease and a must-listen for anyone who knows someone suffering from an eating disorder.
©2015 Elena and Clare B. Dunkle (P)2015 Audible, Inc.Listeners also enjoyed...
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Story
Lucille seems to have nothing going for her. With the bills piling in, the house falling apart around her, and her sister's growing distress, it is precisely the worst possible moment for Lucille to fall recklessly in love with her best friend's twin brother, Digby, who is practically engaged.
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Amazing Loving and Sexy
- By Princess Lucy on 12-28-17
By: Estelle Laure
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Breaking Night
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- By: Liz Murray
- Narrated by: Liz Murray
- Length: 14 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Liz Murray was born to loving but drug-addicted parents in the Bronx. In school she was taunted for her dirty clothing and lice-infested hair, eventually skipping so many classes that she was put into a girls' home. At age 15, Liz found herself on the streets when her family finally unraveled. She learned to scrape by, foraging for food and riding subways all night to have a warm place to sleep. Then, when Liz's mother died of AIDS, she decided to take control of her own destiny.
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unbelievably inspiring
- By Amazon Customer on 03-17-12
By: Liz Murray
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The Smallest Part
- By: Amy Harmon
- Narrated by: Almarie Guerra
- Length: 12 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
It was a big lie. The biggest lie she’d ever told. It reverberated through her head as she said it, ringing eerily. “Are you in love with Noah, Mercedes?” Cora asked. “I mean...I know you love him. You’ve been friends forever. We all have. But are you in love with him?” If it had been anyone else - anyone - Mercedes would have stuck out her chest, folded her skinny arms, and let her feelings be known. She would have claimed him. But it was Cora. Brave, beautiful, broken Cora, and Cora loved Noah too. So Mercedes lied. And with that lie, she lost him.
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✫✫ 4 Stars ✫✫
- By ❤️Cyndi Marie❤️🎧Audiobook Addicts🎧 on 09-03-18
By: Amy Harmon
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Too Bright to Hear Too Loud to See
- By: Juliann Garey
- Narrated by: Dan Butler
- Length: 11 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Story
In her tour-de-force first novel, Juliann Garey takes us inside the restless mind, ravaged heart, and anguished soul of Greyson Todd, a successful Hollywood studio executive who leaves his wife and young daughter and for a decade travels the world giving free reign to the bipolar disorder he's been forced to keep hidden for almost 20 years.
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Psychosis or Syphilis?
- By Vira on 04-02-13
By: Juliann Garey
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Stranger Here
- How Weight-Loss Surgery Transformed My Body and Messed with My Head
- By: Jen Larsen
- Narrated by: Dani Cervone
- Length: 8 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
Stranger Here is the brutally honest, surprisingly hilarious story of one woman's journey from one extreme of the weight spectrum to the other, and of the unexpected emotional chaos it created. Insightful and unsparing in her self-examination, Larsen depicts the exhilarating highs and devastating lows she experienced as a result of her weight loss, the incredible joy of finally beginning to look like the image of herself she's always carried inside her head, and the crushing pain and confusion of feeling like a stranger in her own body after losing the weight that has always defined her.
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Good book with some disappointments
- By Ina Landry on 04-22-18
By: Jen Larsen
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The Last Time We Say Goodbye
- By: Cynthia Hand
- Narrated by: Julia Whelan
- Length: 9 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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The last time Lex was happy, it was before. When she had a family that was whole. A boyfriend she loved. Friends who didn't look at her like she might break down at any moment. Now she's just the girl whose brother killed himself. And it feels like that's all she'll ever be. As Lex starts to put her life back together, she tries to block out what happened the night Tyler died. But there's a secret she hasn't told anyone--a text Tyler sent that could have changed everything.
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Such sweet sorrow
- By Lesaly on 04-26-15
By: Cynthia Hand
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Accidents of Marriage
- By: Randy Susan Meyers
- Narrated by: Susan Bennett
- Length: 12 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Maddy is a social worker trying to balance her career and three children. Years ago, she fell in love with Ben, a public defender, drawn to his fiery passion, but now he's lashing out at her during his periodic verbal furies. She vacillates between tiptoeing around him and asserting herself for the sake of their kids - which works to keep a fragile peace - until the rainy day when they're together in the car and Ben's volatile temper gets the best of him, leaving Maddy in the hospital fighting for her life.
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Love Is Not Always Enough
- By Pamela Dale Foster on 11-08-14
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Bad Girls Don't Die
- Bad Girls Don't Die Series, Book 1
- By: Katie Alender
- Narrated by: Johanna Parker
- Length: 7 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
When Alexis's little sister Kasey becomes obsessed with an antique doll, Alexis thinks she is just being her usual weird self. Things get weirder, though, when their house starts changing. Doors open and close by themselves; water boils on the unlit stove; and an unplugged air conditioner blasts cold air.
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Great for Halloween
- By The Owl on 10-03-18
By: Katie Alender
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Scarred
- By: Joanne Macgregor
- Narrated by: Kelsey Egan, Richard Lothian
- Length: 6 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Sloane Munster had the perfect life - until she didn't. Now 17-year-old Sloane is trying to reboot her life after a serious accident left her badly scarred and emotionally traumatized. Starting her senior year at a different school, she recognizes Luke Naughton, a swimmer whom she once had a crush on, in her new class. But when she smiles at him, he glares back with revulsion, and she's sure he's disgusted by her ugly scar.
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The ending is just STUPID
- By Effie on 02-05-19
By: Joanne Macgregor
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Side Effects May Vary
- By: Julie Murphy
- Narrated by: Cassandra Campbell, Kirby Heyborne
- Length: 9 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
When 16-year-old Alice is diagnosed with leukemia, her prognosis is grim. To maximize the time she does have, she vows to spend her final months righting wrongs - however she sees fit. She convinces her friend Harvey, who she knows has always had feelings for her, to help her with a crazy bucket list that's as much about revenge (humiliating her ex-boyfriend and getting back at her archnemesis) as it is about hope (doing something unexpectedly kind for a stranger).
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Listening Experiences May Vary
- By The Reading Date on 05-18-14
By: Julie Murphy
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Future Home of the Living God
- A Novel
- By: Louise Erdrich
- Narrated by: Louise Erdrich
- Length: 10 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
The world as we know it is ending. Evolution has reversed itself, affecting every living creature on earth. Science cannot stop the world from running backward, as woman after woman gives birth to infants that appear to be primitive species of humans. Thirty-two-year-old Cedar Hawk Songmaker, adopted daughter of a pair of big-hearted, open-minded Minneapolis liberals, is as disturbed and uncertain as the rest of America around her. But for Cedar, this change is profound and deeply personal. She is four months pregnant.
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“Nolite te bastardes carborundorum”
- By Mel on 11-27-17
By: Louise Erdrich
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Precociously intelligent, imaginative, energetic, and ambitious, Marya Hornbacher grew up in a comfortable middle-class American home. At the age of 5, she returned home from ballet class one day, put on an enormous sweater, curled up on her bed, and cried because she thought she was fat. By age 9, she was secretly bulimic, throwing up at home after school, while watching Brady Bunch reruns on television and munching Fritos. She added anorexia to her repertoire a few years later and took great pride in her ability to starve. Marya's story gathers intensity with each passing year. By the time she is in college and working for a wire news service in Washington D.C., she is in the grip of a bout of anorexia so horrifying that it will forever put to rest the romance of wasting away. Down to 52 pounds and counting, Marya becomes a battlefield: her powerful death instinct at war with the will to live. Why would a talented young girl go through the looking glass and slip into a netherworld where up is down, food is greed, and death is honor? Why enter into a love affair with hunger, drugs, sex, and death? Marya Hornbacher sustained both anorexia and bulimia through 5 lengthy hospitalizations, endless therapy, the loss of family, friends, jobs, and ultimately, any sense of what it means to be "normal." In this vivid, emotionally wrenching memoir, she recreates the experience and illuminates the tangle of personal, family, and cultural causes underlying eating disorders.
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In 1995, Hadley Freeman wrote in her diary: “I just spent three years of my life in mental hospitals. So why am I crazier than I was before????” From the ages of 14 to 17, Freeman lived in psychiatric wards after developing anorexia nervosa. Her doctors informed her that her body was cannibalizing her muscles and heart for nutrition, but they could tell her little else: why she had it, what it felt like, what recovery looked like. For the next twenty years, Freeman lived as a “functioning anorexic,” grappling with new forms of self-destructive behavior as the anorexia mutated and persisted.
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Matt hasn't eaten in days. His stomach stabs and twists inside, pleading for a meal, but Matt won't give in. The hunger clears his mind, keeps him sharp - and he needs to be as sharp as possible if he's going to find out just how Tariq and his band of high school bullies drove his sister, Maya, away. Matt's hardworking mom keeps the kitchen crammed with food, but Matt can resist the siren call of casseroles and cookies because he has discovered something: the less he eats the more he seems to have...powers.
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When Gracie Gold stepped onto center stage (or ice, rather) as America’s sweetheart at the 2014 Sochi Olympics, she instantly became the face of America’s most beloved winter sport. Beautiful, blonde, Midwestern, and media-trained, she was suddenly being written up everywhere from The New Yorker to Teen Vogue to People and baking cookies with Taylor Swift.
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Millions of families are affected by eating disorders, which usually strike young women between the ages of fourteen and twenty. But current medical practice ties these families' hands when it comes to helping their children recover. Conventional medical wisdom dictates separating the patient from the family and insists that 'it's not about the food', even as a family watches a child waste away before their eyes.
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Very good but...
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memoir of a brief career as a top model - and a brutally honest account of what goes on behind the scenes in a fascinating closed industry. Scouted in the street when she was 17, Victoire Dauxerre's story started like a teenager's dream: within months she was on the catwalks of New York's major fashion shows and part of the most select circle of in-demand supermodels in the world.
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Self-indulgent twaddle
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In this painfully moving memoir, take a firsthand look at anorexia through the eyes of a young girl. Even in kindergarten, Rachel Richards knows something isn't right. By leading us through her distorted thoughts, she shines a light on the experience and mystery of mental illness. As she grows up, unable to comprehend or communicate her inner trauma, Rachel lashes out, hurting herself, running away from home, and fighting her family. Restricting food gives her the control she craves. But after being hospitalized and force-fed, Rachel only retreats further into herself.
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A Gripping Account of Anorexia and Recovery
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Madness
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When Marya Hornbacher published her first book, Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia, she did not yet have the piece of shattering knowledge that would finally make sense of the chaos of her life. At age 24, Hornbacher was diagnosed with type I rapid-cycle bipolar, the most severe form of bipolar disorder. In Madness, in her trademark wry and utterly self-revealing voice, Hornbacher tells her new story.
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THANK YOU!!!!!
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Before We Were Blue
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At Recovery and Relief, a treatment center for girls with eating disorders, the first thing Shoshana Winnick does is attach herself to vibrant but troubled Rowan Parish. Shoshana — a cheerleader on a hit reality TV show — was admitted for starving herself to ensure her growth spurt didn’t ruin her infamous tumbling skills. Rowan, on the other hand, has known anorexia her entire life, thanks to her mother’s “chew and spit” guidance.
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Lyrical. Beautiful. Raw.
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What listeners say about Elena Vanishing
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- J.B.
- 01-30-18
Well written, but repetitive.
A wonderful writer with strong visuals - however, when listening you will start to dread hearing either "said the voice in my head" or "stupid bitch." Otherwise, great book!
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- Susie
- 09-16-15
Eaten from Within
Elena Dunkle's memoir re-lives her struggle with anorexia, when it was a separate force consuming her, a demon working against her. This might be the truest portrait of this disorder out there.
She gives a vivid account of the state of mind that anyone with psychological problems, from depression to addiction, can recognize, highlighting the inner voice that constantly counteracts any acknowledgement, any progress toward a healthy mindset. It's a harrowing story that gives you a clear understanding of the disease eating up a victim.
When Elena finally starts to come around, she is again, so honest and so accurate, that you know that recovery is not a straightforward path, it will be a lifetime's work.
The extraordinary Lauren Fortgang does a bang-up job as narrator. She makes it nearly a dramatization, giving the memoir an extra layer of meaning.
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- E. Boyd
- 11-16-18
It's Real
It's a story unlike any other eating disorder related story that I've read. It not only comes from a person who genuinely understands the disorder, but also some who is artistic enough to portray those feelings in a writing style thats telling and heart-wrenching. It's a relatable book for all those who know that inner voice that constantly tells you you're not good enough. I especially appreciate the recovery process. A lot of books make it seem like recovery is easy and that all the problems go away once you realize the source and decide to change. This one is different. It tells that the voice is still there but shows how you can use it, shift it in a way, to encourage yourself to get better. I truly appreciate this author for putting herself out there like this. It's a very raw depiction of the recovery process that starts from the first chapter. Thank you, Elena.
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- jess
- 05-10-21
Amazing
this story is so well told. One of the best books about ED I have read since Marya Hornbachers 'wasted. ' also, the performance by Lauren Fortang is great.
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- aong
- 01-29-17
Compelling
Compelling story that opens our eyes and ears to what ED sufferers and their carers go through. While everyone has a different story, Elena's story certainly touched my heart and helped forged a deeper understanding of ED.
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- Samantha Kanabay
- 03-26-19
amazing
this is one of the best ED memoirs I've ever read. I recommend it! 10/10
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- Fluxis360
- 05-23-20
Good Story, Grating Narration
It could be my fault, since my brain reads most books with calmer, apathetic voices (it’s my preference), but I don’t feel like a teenager’s battle with anorexia is supposed to sound like a 1920’s thriller. She reads every line like an excited, overzealous flapper and it’s honestly hard to get through. I’m sure she’s a fine person, I don’t mean to be judgmental. It’s just grating and out of place.
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- Luis
- 10-16-18
The Story gets boring
I believe this book has a standard story which is disengaging with the reader. Lacks emotion.
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- Kathleen Bland
- 01-26-21
Awesome
I've personally read about 5 ED books in the past 2 months and this is by far my favorite so far. I loved the performance and I could really relate to Elena. She cares so much more for others than herself but in doing so she can no longer take care of others bc the condition she has left herself in. I can absolutely relate! Her mother as well reminds me a lot of my mother. it was just such a relatable book even though our storys are very different the book was written so well that it was like I was taking the journey with her. There were some Cons to the book though, the timeline was a little off. I didn't like how the author would skip months without explaining what happened in those months. that made it a little hard to follow. I also felt as though the author expected us to know more than she explained sometimes and I would have to go back and re-read to make sure I didn't miss anything. Last comment on the book would be that if you are currently struggling with an ED this book will probably Trigger you. Read it in recovery and you'll love it too. Other than those Cons the book was great! 10 out of 10 definitely would recommend if your in recovery for an ED.
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- Shamrock
- 08-22-21
Well written and performed.
Gripping, realistic, poignant, saga of a girl with an eating disorder. I couldn’t put it down. Must read
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