Dying to Be Thin
The True Story of My Lifelong Battle Against Anorexia
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Narrated by:
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Yaz Shah
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By:
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Nikki Grahame
About this listen
”The figure looking back at me was little more than a skeleton with just a thin layer of tissue paper for skin, drawn over the stick-like bones. I stood staring for a good couple of minutes, considering what I'd become. And my verdict? Brilliant, I thought. It's been worth every moment of all that hard work.”
Say the name Nikki Grahame and most people will remember the bubbly, highly strung and hugely entertaining Big Brother 7 contestant. Since leaving the Big Brother house, she has forged a successful career for herself in presenting and writing. Yet Nikki isn't just another reality television contestant and her life story is not like any other you will ever read.
From the age of eight until she was nineteen, Nikki battled anorexia nervosa but few cases have been quite as extreme as hers. Aged just eight and weighing just under three stone, Nikki was diagnosed as anorexic.
For the next eight years, she was in and out of institutions - seven in total - during which time she attempted suicide twice and had to be sedated up to four times a day so that she could be force-fed. At one point, she was sedated for fourteen days while doctors sewed a tube into her stomach, through which she was fed in order to get her weight out of the critical range. The lengths that she went to avoid eating and find ways to exercise excessively shocked doctors who have worked in the field for years. As Nikki says, “I've always wanted to be the best at everything I do, so I had to be the best anorexic - and I was.”
This compelling book tells the story of an incredible journey.
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The year 1972 saw the beginning of a five-year span in which Stevie Wonder released five groundbreaking, critically acclaimed albums, garnering him more than half a dozen Grammys and more than 10 million albums sold, securing his place as one of the most important American musicians and songwriters in history. For the first time, uncover the untold story of an extraordinary artistic journey that shaped the greatest creative era in popular music history.
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Good but not great
- By Anonymous User on 09-14-24
By: Wesley Morris
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Maybe You Should Talk to Someone
- A Therapist, HER Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed
- By: Lori Gottlieb
- Narrated by: Brittany Pressley
- Length: 14 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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One day, Lori Gottlieb is a therapist who helps patients in her Los Angeles practice. The next, a crisis causes her world to come crashing down. Enter Wendell, the quirky but seasoned therapist in whose office she suddenly lands. With his balding head, cardigan, and khakis, he seems to have come straight from Therapist Central Casting. Yet he will turn out to be anything but.
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It was like a hallmark movie being waterboarded into my ears for 15 hours
- By Amazon Customer on 10-01-19
By: Lori Gottlieb
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The Parole Room
- By: Ben Austen
- Narrated by: Ben Austen
- Length: 4 hrs and 25 mins
- Original Recording
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Will Johnnie Veal—convicted of the murder of two police officers in 1970—be granted parole after 50 years in prison? How can he convince the parole board he’s reformed when he insists he’s innocent? What is prison time even supposed to accomplish? These are the questions that propel The Parole Room forward as it builds toward Johnnie’s 20th parole hearing—after 19 rejections.
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Enlightening story & a must read
- By Patsy on 10-07-24
By: Ben Austen
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Genghis Khan and the Making of the Modern World
- By: Jack Weatherford
- Narrated by: Jonathan Davis, Jack Weatherford
- Length: 14 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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The Mongol army led by Genghis Khan subjugated more lands and people in 25 years than the Romans did in 400. In nearly every country the Mongols conquered, they brought an unprecedented rise in cultural communication, expanded trade, and a blossoming of civilization.
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Golden Horde/Platinum Listen
- By Cynthia on 12-11-13
By: Jack Weatherford
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Flannery O'Connor and the Scandal of Faith
- By: Jessica Hooten Wilson, The Great Courses
- Narrated by: Jessica Hooten Wilson
- Length: 3 hrs and 5 mins
- Original Recording
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Across six revealing lectures, Professor Jessica Hooten Wilson will introduce you to one of the 20th century’s most fascinating and divisive writers in Flannery O’Connor and the Scandal of Faith. Beginning with an overview of her brief but remarkable life, Professor Wilson will then take you through an exploration of themes in O’Connor’s work and the hallmarks of her literary style. You’ll get a clearer picture of O’Connor’s historical and geographical context while digging into how her stories can transcend time and place.
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Fascinating life cut short
- By KRoss on 11-21-24
By: Jessica Hooten Wilson, and others
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Episodes
- The True Story of Two Friends & One Diagnosis
- By: Mara Altman, Kat Alexander
- Narrated by: Mara Altman, Kat Alexander
- Length: 7 hrs and 5 mins
- Original Recording
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In Episodes, lifelong best friends Kat and Mara take listeners on an unfiltered journey through friendship, mental illness, and survival. Kat, a successful professional, is preparing for marriage and motherhood. On her fourth round of IVF, it happened—a frantic call to Mara. Mara comes over to find Kat, her friend of 25 years—the one who'd always been levelheaded, hilarious, and over-the-top thoughtful—trying to jump through a window.
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Just listen!
- By AJ on 11-17-24
By: Mara Altman, and others
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Heroes Behind Headlines
- Only the Brave
- By: Ralph Pezzullo
- Narrated by: Ralph Pezzullo
- Length: 6 hrs and 33 mins
- Original Recording
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How did DEA agents orchestrate the capture of one of the world’s most wanted weapons dealers? How does an all-female, unarmed group of rangers stop poachers from killing South Africa’s most majestic wild animals? And how did a scrappy crew of soldiers help desperate Afghans escape Kabul during the Taliban’s rapid takeover? Welcome to Heroes Behind Headlines: Only the Brave, where host Ralph Pezzullo takes you on deep dives into extraordinary true stories, told to you by the experts and the brave men and women who lived them.
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Great interview format
- By Ronald Gauvin on 11-21-24
By: Ralph Pezzullo
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Evil Has a Name
- The Untold Story of the Golden State Killer Investigation
- By: Paul Holes, Jim Clemente, Peter McDonnell
- Narrated by: Paul Holes, Jim Clemente
- Length: 6 hrs and 13 mins
- Original Recording
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For his victims, for their families and for the investigators tasked with finding him, the senselessness and brutality of the Golden State Killer's acts were matched only by the powerlessness they felt at failing to uncover his identity. Then, on April 24, 2018, authorities arrested 72-year-old Joseph James DeAngelo at his home in Citrus Heights, Calif., based on DNA evidence linked to the crimes. Amazingly, it seemed, evil finally had a name. Please note: This work contains descriptions of violent crime and sexual assault and may not be suitable for all listeners.
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Audible Raises The Bar On True Crime Genre
- By R. Squyres on 11-16-18
By: Paul Holes, and others
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The Last Days of Cabrini-Green
- By: Ben Austen, Harrison David Rivers
- Narrated by: Ben Austen, Patina Miller, Harry Lennix, and others
- Length: 3 hrs and 32 mins
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Story
In 1992, the deadliest year in Chicago’s history, seven-year-old Dantrell Davis was shot and killed in front of his elementary school inside the public housing complex Cabrini-Green. What happened to Dantrell led to a truce among Chicago’s gangs, but it also ignited a national panic about poverty and violence in America’s cities. Dantrell’s name would soon be used to demolish all of Chicago’s high-rise public housing, displacing tens of thousands of low-income families.
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Chicago Housibg
- By Ruby on 11-21-24
By: Ben Austen, and others
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The Demon Next Door
- By: Bryan Burrough
- Narrated by: Steve White
- Length: 2 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Best-selling author Bryan Burrough recently made a shocking discovery: The small town of Temple, Texas, where he had grown up, had harbored a dark secret. One of his high school classmates, Danny Corwin, was a vicious serial killer. In this chilling tale, Burrough raises important questions of whether serial killers can be recognized before they kill or rehabilitated after they do. It is also a story of Texas politics and power that led the good citizens of the town of Temple to enable a demon who was their worst nightmare.
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Odd narration choice
- By Amanda Fredericks on 03-08-19
By: Bryan Burrough
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Dear Cousin: The Stalking of Susan Fensten
- By: Ventureland
- Narrated by: Susan Fensten
- Length: 4 hrs and 24 mins
- Original Recording
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Dear Cousin: The Stalking of Susan Fensten is the gripping true story of one woman's quest for long lost family. After the deaths of her sister and estranged father, Susan searches for relatives on an early online genealogy forum. When she meets cousins from her grandfather's other family, they're everything she'd hoped for—until it all goes to hell.
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Harrowing Case, Excellent Production
- By C Lopez on 07-12-24
By: Ventureland
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The Autobiography of Malcolm X
- As Told to Alex Haley
- By: Malcolm X, Alex Haley
- Narrated by: Laurence Fishburne
- Length: 16 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Experience a bold take on this classic autobiography as it’s performed by Oscar-nominated Laurence Fishburne. In this searing classic autobiography, originally published in 1965, Malcolm X, the Muslim leader, firebrand, and Black empowerment activist, tells the extraordinary story of his life and the growth of the Human Rights movement. His fascinating perspective on the lies and limitations of the American dream and the inherent racism in a society that denies its non-White citizens the opportunity to dream, gives extraordinary insight into the most urgent issues of our own time.
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it's Nearly perfect
- By Kerry on 09-16-20
By: Malcolm X, and others
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Elvis and Me
- By: Priscilla Beaulieu Presley
- Narrated by: Priscilla Beaulieu Presley
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The inspiration for the major motion picture Priscilla directed by Sofia Coppola, this New York Times best seller reveals the intimate story of Elvis Presley and Priscilla Presley, told by the woman who lived it.
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What a story!
- By Pen Name on 08-28-22
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How I Get It Done
- By: Shereen Marisol Meraji
- Narrated by: Shereen Marisol Meraji
- Length: 9 hrs and 53 mins
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In a series of deeply moving and inspiring conversations, host Shereen Marisol Meraji connects with successful women from all walks of life to reveal how they manage their careers and every aspect of their lives. Based on the long-running column from The Cut and New York Magazine.
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Relatable, helpful, and beautifully produced.
- By Anonymous User on 09-07-24
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What listeners say about Dying to Be Thin
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Chris A
- 09-24-22
Sad story
Such a raw and honest account of her struggle. I felt so sad the whole time knowing that she did not make it. Definitely a cautionary tale for anyone struggling with this disease. RIP sweet girl.
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- Virginia
- 07-29-23
An eye opener about eating disorders.
Excellent book, tells you in detail about the life of a sweet child with a disfunctional home that became obsessed with keeping herself thing to the point of death. An eye opener for parents since I would have never thought that a 6 year old would actually have this kind of thoughts.
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- Liza Wolin
- 08-12-23
A sad but great story on Nikki’s struggle with Anorexia
This was a wonderful book but heartbreaking as Nikki passed years ago. I could relate to so much as I struggled with Anorexia on and off for many years. May she rest in peace.
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Overall
- sara
- 05-05-20
Respect
I have so much respect for Nikki after reading this. When I initially watched BB I just thought she was a spoiled brat that I still loved because she was so endearing. This explained so much and dispelled many of the doubts I had about her. It also helps other people who are struggling with an eating disorder of how bad it can get and what you miss out on when you do go down the rabbit whole.
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- ro_runner
- 11-07-15
Not What You Might Think
Would you recommend this book to a friend? Why or why not?
Not necessarily. I am more interested in the professional treatment & analysis of eating disorders. This book is a bit on the sensational side from that perspective, notwithstanding that I believe it to be an honest account from the author's viewpoint.
What was most disappointing about Nikki Grahame’s story?
There is a giant piece missing in this book that only Nikki's caregivers could possibly provide. It seems highly improbable to me that Nikki simply "woke up" one day & decided she'd had it with her anorexia & wanted to be better. Something psychologically was going on all those years that changed. What that might be is far more intriguing to me than the fact that this self-absorbed young lady wound up on Big Brother (a show I've never watched). While it is none of our business, my guess is problems at home were much deeper & Nikki's psychological problems more far more intense than even this dramatic book would reveal. From this account, it would seem that one can simply change her mind one day & go from the brink of death to stardom. That is not reality -- & certainly not for hundreds of young women suffering from eating disorders. Might they not now think that even though there will be pain along the way they might end up the same way? And what result when they do not?
What else would you have wanted to know about Nikki Grahame’s life?
Accounts directly from others -- mom, dad, sister, caregivers. Anorexia is not well understood & I don't think it can be understood simply from the point of view of the person affected. This is a disease with poor insight & the person affected is not the only one walking a hellish road. Perhaps this book is not the right forum, but I am interested in what approaches to Nikki's care were discussed with her parents.
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7 people found this helpful
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- Sandy Jeanne
- 06-24-23
Wow
Well all my sympathy for the family. What a hard life they had. I believe this girl was emotionally disturbed with anorexia being secondary. It seemed a way to control others.
I watched a clip of British big Brother and appears to be a lifelong condition. She was popular on the show ? Seemed to be always looking for attention.
The book is written as tho the author is very proud to have anorexia. It takes years until she “wants” to get better.
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- Ning Wiebmer
- 09-12-23
Such sadness
I'm glad I didn't know Nikki eventually died at a young age from her anorexia when I started the book. Her final passage is so hopeful. Her mother is an angel.
Listening to all the honesty and raw pain, I still don't understand this disease. It's poignant to hear Nikki's own voice recount her life...
It's an engaging book.
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- Robin
- 07-23-21
R.I.P Nikki
Very intense story. I googled her name and found she had relapsed during the pandemic and passed away on April 9, 2021. R.I.P.
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4 people found this helpful
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- Jessica
- 05-07-22
inspiring
Wow! This story was very close to my heart as I am someone that has struggled with anorexia and bulimia for many many years. Like the author I was hospitalized and put into treatment centers and when I would come home- I would go back to my old habits. I’m so glad that Nikki was able to find her way in this book. Her honesty and determination are striving force in recovery. My only wish for Nikki is that she would have been able to continue to fight her demons and the monster that is anorexia. I was so sad to learn when I googled her last night that did succumb to her anorexia. What an inspiring story with such a tragic ending.
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1 person found this helpful
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- CathyF.
- 10-03-22
Well …. What the heck ??????
This gal was sick …. This poor thing …. But the thing is how did she get this ill????? Her parents got divorced and then she quickly slipped into seriously debilitating hard core Eating disorder at the tender age of 8 ….. that’s like really young to become this mentally ill …. I wish she would have really let us in more on her real diagnosis. I think there was a lot more to this story that we were not really clued in about . How this child got this sick that fast at that young of age . There’s something not adding up …. You never really learn much about what really was bothering this person . Unfortunately she is gone now and with her death we will never know what made this girl really tick . She had a really rough childhood but not so much from the divorce of her parents but all the hospitals she was living in because she was in some kind of battle to win eating disorder person of the year … it’s crazy what she went through…. Im sorry she’s gone . Sad story really not a lot here to learn other than how severe an eating disorder can get . I wish there was more info about her real diagnosis and what compelled her to the edge especially at such a young age . RIp Nikki …
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