The Weight of Beautiful
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Narrated by:
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Jackie Goldschneider
About this listen
Jackie Goldschneider, star of The Real Housewives of New Jersey, bravely chronicles her decades-long battle with anorexia and public journey to recovery in this “courageously candid” (Kirkus Reviews) memoir.
All Jackie Goldschneider ever wanted was to be thin. As a child, she’d stand in front of the mirror, sucking in her stomach and arching her back to feel her ribs, praying to see a model-like figure looking back. As an obese teen, lonely and tormented by her weight, her doctor encouraged her to start dieting, ultimately leading to a prolonged battle with anorexia that nearly took her life.
After decades of hiding her eating disorder from friends, family, and the world, Jackie is ready to expose the realities of her devastating struggle, including the harrowing day-to-day tactics she employed to count calories and restrict meals, her struggles with fertility and pregnancy, the effects of her eating disorder on her relationships with her husband and children, and ultimately how, in a twist of fate, becoming a reality TV star saved her life.
The Weight of Beautiful is Jackie’s personal story, but within it are also the stories of millions like her, striving to lead healthy, happy lives despite their eating disorders. In the vein of Unbearable Lightness, Hiding from Reality, and What Remains, The Weight of Beautiful is a moving testament of strength, honesty, and recovery.
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-
Story
"The figure looking back at me was little more than a skeleton with just a thin layer of tissue paper for skin, drawn over the stick-like bones. I stood staring for a good couple of minutes, considering what I'd become. And my verdict? Brilliant, I thought. It's been worth every moment of all that hard work". Say the name Nikki Grahame and most people will remember the bubbly, highly strung and hugely entertaining Big Brother 7 contestant.
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Not What You Might Think
- By ro_runner on 11-07-15
By: Nikki Grahame
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Good Girls
- A Study and Story of Anorexia
- By: Hadley Freeman
- Narrated by: Hadley Freeman
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In 1995, Hadley Freeman wrote in her diary: “I just spent three years of my life in mental hospitals. So why am I crazier than I was before????” From the ages of 14 to 17, Freeman lived in psychiatric wards after developing anorexia nervosa. Her doctors informed her that her body was cannibalizing her muscles and heart for nutrition, but they could tell her little else: why she had it, what it felt like, what recovery looked like. For the next twenty years, Freeman lived as a “functioning anorexic,” grappling with new forms of self-destructive behavior as the anorexia mutated and persisted.
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Has potential, but missed the mark.
- By Ian N. on 02-11-24
By: Hadley Freeman
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Unbearable Lightness
- A Story of Loss and Gain
- By: Portia de Rossi
- Narrated by: Portia de Rossi
- Length: 9 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In this searing, unflinchingly honest book, Portia de Rossi captures the complex emotional truth of what it is like when food, weight, and body image take priority over every other human impulse or action. She recounts the elaborate rituals around eating that came to dominate hours of every day, from keeping her daily calorie intake below 300 to eating precisely measured amounts of food out of specific bowls and only with certain utensils. When this wasn’t enough, she resorted to purging and compulsive physical exercise, driving her body and spirit to the breaking point.
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For All Dieters, not just Anorexic Girls
- By Coghan on 02-20-13
By: Portia de Rossi
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Empty
- A Memoir
- By: Susan Burton
- Narrated by: Susan Burton
- Length: 9 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
For almost 30 years, Susan Burton hid her obsession with food and the secret life of compulsive eating and starving that dominated her adolescence. This is the relentlessly honest, fiercely intelligent story of living with both anorexia and binge-eating disorder, moving past her shame, and learning to tell her secret.
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Pick another book
- By A. I. Keller on 07-18-20
By: Susan Burton
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The Skinny
- My Messy, Hopeful Fight for Full Recovery from Anorexia
- By: Sheri Segal Glick
- Narrated by: Sheri Segal Glick
- Length: 6 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In this powerful memoir, Sheri Segal Glick explores her rough, rocky, rutted road to being in recovery. As a young teenager, Sheri developed anorexia, and has battled the illness for decades. The Skinny explores her journey, from her tumultuous time as a teenager to the disease rearing its ugly head as an adult, with her signature wit, wry humour, and absolute honesty.
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Loved the audible!! Great narration
- By ef on 05-18-24
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Brave Girl Eating
- A Family's Struggle with Anorexia
- By: Harriet Brown
- Narrated by: Harriet Brown
- Length: 8 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
-
Story
Millions of families are affected by eating disorders, which usually strike young women between the ages of fourteen and twenty. But current medical practice ties these families' hands when it comes to helping their children recover. Conventional medical wisdom dictates separating the patient from the family and insists that 'it's not about the food', even as a family watches a child waste away before their eyes.
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Very good but...
- By Michael on 02-22-20
By: Harriet Brown
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Dying to Be Thin
- The True Story of My Lifelong Battle Against Anorexia
- By: Nikki Grahame
- Narrated by: Yaz Shah
- Length: 9 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
"The figure looking back at me was little more than a skeleton with just a thin layer of tissue paper for skin, drawn over the stick-like bones. I stood staring for a good couple of minutes, considering what I'd become. And my verdict? Brilliant, I thought. It's been worth every moment of all that hard work". Say the name Nikki Grahame and most people will remember the bubbly, highly strung and hugely entertaining Big Brother 7 contestant.
-
-
Not What You Might Think
- By ro_runner on 11-07-15
By: Nikki Grahame
-
Good Girls
- A Study and Story of Anorexia
- By: Hadley Freeman
- Narrated by: Hadley Freeman
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In 1995, Hadley Freeman wrote in her diary: “I just spent three years of my life in mental hospitals. So why am I crazier than I was before????” From the ages of 14 to 17, Freeman lived in psychiatric wards after developing anorexia nervosa. Her doctors informed her that her body was cannibalizing her muscles and heart for nutrition, but they could tell her little else: why she had it, what it felt like, what recovery looked like. For the next twenty years, Freeman lived as a “functioning anorexic,” grappling with new forms of self-destructive behavior as the anorexia mutated and persisted.
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Has potential, but missed the mark.
- By Ian N. on 02-11-24
By: Hadley Freeman
-
Unbearable Lightness
- A Story of Loss and Gain
- By: Portia de Rossi
- Narrated by: Portia de Rossi
- Length: 9 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In this searing, unflinchingly honest book, Portia de Rossi captures the complex emotional truth of what it is like when food, weight, and body image take priority over every other human impulse or action. She recounts the elaborate rituals around eating that came to dominate hours of every day, from keeping her daily calorie intake below 300 to eating precisely measured amounts of food out of specific bowls and only with certain utensils. When this wasn’t enough, she resorted to purging and compulsive physical exercise, driving her body and spirit to the breaking point.
-
-
For All Dieters, not just Anorexic Girls
- By Coghan on 02-20-13
By: Portia de Rossi
-
Empty
- A Memoir
- By: Susan Burton
- Narrated by: Susan Burton
- Length: 9 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
For almost 30 years, Susan Burton hid her obsession with food and the secret life of compulsive eating and starving that dominated her adolescence. This is the relentlessly honest, fiercely intelligent story of living with both anorexia and binge-eating disorder, moving past her shame, and learning to tell her secret.
-
-
Pick another book
- By A. I. Keller on 07-18-20
By: Susan Burton
-
The Skinny
- My Messy, Hopeful Fight for Full Recovery from Anorexia
- By: Sheri Segal Glick
- Narrated by: Sheri Segal Glick
- Length: 6 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In this powerful memoir, Sheri Segal Glick explores her rough, rocky, rutted road to being in recovery. As a young teenager, Sheri developed anorexia, and has battled the illness for decades. The Skinny explores her journey, from her tumultuous time as a teenager to the disease rearing its ugly head as an adult, with her signature wit, wry humour, and absolute honesty.
-
-
Loved the audible!! Great narration
- By ef on 05-18-24
-
Brave Girl Eating
- A Family's Struggle with Anorexia
- By: Harriet Brown
- Narrated by: Harriet Brown
- Length: 8 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Millions of families are affected by eating disorders, which usually strike young women between the ages of fourteen and twenty. But current medical practice ties these families' hands when it comes to helping their children recover. Conventional medical wisdom dictates separating the patient from the family and insists that 'it's not about the food', even as a family watches a child waste away before their eyes.
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Very good but...
- By Michael on 02-22-20
By: Harriet Brown
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Bones
- Anorexia, Anxiety and My Path to Self-Love
- By: Robyn Shumer, Natasha Stoynoff
- Narrated by: Robyn Shumer
- Length: 8 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Bones is the tragicomic, roller coaster story of Robyn Shumer’s lifelong battle with—and triumph over—a crippling eating disorder. It’s an honest, first-person account that takes the listener inside the emotional, mental, physical, and social world of an anorexic from childhood to adulthood, through four decades of a changing society whose message to girls and women remained stubbornly the same: “thinner is the winner.”
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Not the next “Wasted”
- By Nik on 10-13-24
By: Robyn Shumer, and others
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Size Zero
- My Life as a Disappearing Model
- By: Victoire Dauxerre
- Narrated by: Emily Lucienne
- Length: 6 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Story
memoir of a brief career as a top model - and a brutally honest account of what goes on behind the scenes in a fascinating closed industry. Scouted in the street when she was 17, Victoire Dauxerre's story started like a teenager's dream: within months she was on the catwalks of New York's major fashion shows and part of the most select circle of in-demand supermodels in the world.
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Self-indulgent twaddle
- By Adeliese Baumann on 05-19-17
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Wasted
- A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia
- By: Marya Hornbacher
- Narrated by: Marya Hornbacher
- Length: 5 hrs and 25 mins
- Abridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Precociously intelligent, imaginative, energetic, and ambitious, Marya Hornbacher grew up in a comfortable middle-class American home. At the age of 5, she returned home from ballet class one day, put on an enormous sweater, curled up on her bed, and cried because she thought she was fat. By age 9, she was secretly bulimic, throwing up at home after school, while watching Brady Bunch reruns on television and munching Fritos. She added anorexia to her repertoire a few years later and took great pride in her ability to starve. Marya's story gathers intensity with each passing year. By the time she is in college and working for a wire news service in Washington D.C., she is in the grip of a bout of anorexia so horrifying that it will forever put to rest the romance of wasting away. Down to 52 pounds and counting, Marya becomes a battlefield: her powerful death instinct at war with the will to live. Why would a talented young girl go through the looking glass and slip into a netherworld where up is down, food is greed, and death is honor? Why enter into a love affair with hunger, drugs, sex, and death? Marya Hornbacher sustained both anorexia and bulimia through 5 lengthy hospitalizations, endless therapy, the loss of family, friends, jobs, and ultimately, any sense of what it means to be "normal." In this vivid, emotionally wrenching memoir, she recreates the experience and illuminates the tangle of personal, family, and cultural causes underlying eating disorders.
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Abridged=Horrible
- By Kelly on 05-05-13
By: Marya Hornbacher
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Pretty Mess
- By: Erika Jayne
- Narrated by: Erika Jayne
- Length: 5 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Erika Jayne didn't make it this far by holding back. Now, in her first-ever memoir, the fan favorite star of Bravo's The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills bares her heart, mind, and soul. In Pretty Mess, Erika spills on every aspect of her life: from her rise to fame as a daring and fiery pop/dance performer and singer; to her decision to accept a role on reality television; to the ups and downs of family life (including her marriage to famed lawyer Tom Girardi, 33 years her senior). There's much more to Erika Jayne than fans see on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.
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I wanted to like this so bad.
- By shelly arp on 03-21-18
By: Erika Jayne
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All the Women in My Brain
- And Other Concerns
- By: Betty Gilpin
- Narrated by: Betty Gilpin
- Length: 8 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
My name is Betty. I have depression. I have passion. I have tits the size of printers. And also: I have a brain full of women. There’s Blanche VonF--kery, Ingrid St. Rash, and a host of others—some cowering in sweatpants, some howling plans for revolution, and one, oh God, and one . . . slowly vomiting up a crow? Worried for her. These women take turns at the wheel. That’s why I feel like a million selves. With a raised eyebrow and a soul-scalpel, I’d like to tell you how I got this way. Because maybe you feel this way too.
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[idk what to put here, but I love this book]
- By Brit Ledger on 09-07-22
By: Betty Gilpin
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Paperweight
- By: Meg Haston
- Narrated by: Mandy Siegfried
- Length: 8 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Seventeen-year-old Stevie is trapped. In her life. And now in an eating-disorder treatment center on the dusty outskirts of the New Mexico desert. Life in the center is regimented and intrusive, a nightmare come true. Nurses and therapists watch Stevie at mealtime, accompany her to the bathroom, and challenge her to eat the foods she's worked so hard to avoid.
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The Fake Southern Accent? Yeeeeesh!
- By Daryl on 06-30-17
By: Meg Haston
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Wintergirls
- By: Laurie Halse Anderson
- Narrated by: Phoebe Strole
- Length: 7 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Lia and Cassie are best friends, wintergirls frozen in fragile bodies, competitors in a deadly contest to see who can be the thinnest. But then Cassie suffers the ultimate loss - her life - and Lia is left behind, haunted by her friend's memory and racked with guilt for not being able to help save her.
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entertaining
- By Mora Barrientos on 11-03-19
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Bad Mormon
- By: Heather Gay
- Narrated by: Heather Gay
- Length: 7 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Straight off the slopes and into the spotlight, Heather Gay is famous for speaking the gospel truth. Whether as a businesswoman, mother, or television personality, she is unafraid to blaze a new trail, even if it means losing family, friends, and her community.
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Not my favorite-too disrespectful
- By E. Davies on 02-15-23
By: Heather Gay
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You Could Make This Place Beautiful
- A Memoir
- By: Maggie Smith
- Narrated by: Maggie Smith
- Length: 7 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In her memoir You Could Make This Place Beautiful, poet Maggie Smith explores the disintegration of her marriage and her renewed commitment to herself in lyrical vignettes that shine, hard and clear as jewels. The book begins with one woman’s personal, particular heartbreak, but its circles widen into a reckoning with contemporary womanhood, traditional gender roles, and the power dynamics that persist even in many progressive homes.
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Beautiful, relatable, profound
- By Betty Blue on 04-16-23
By: Maggie Smith
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Survival of the Thickest
- Essays
- By: Michelle Buteau
- Narrated by: Michelle Buteau
- Length: 6 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Stand-up comedian, actress, and host Michelle Buteau reflects on growing up Caribbean, Catholic, and thick in New Jersey, going to college in Miami (where everyone smells like pineapple), her many friendship and dating disasters, working as a newsroom editor during 9/11, getting started in stand-up opening for male strippers, marrying into her husband’s Dutch family, IVF and surrogacy, motherhood, chosen family, and what it feels like to have a full heart, tight jeans, and stardom finally in her grasp.
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Enjoyable listen, unexpected moments
- By Jessica on 12-28-20
By: Michelle Buteau
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The Definition of Beautiful
- A Memoir
- By: Charlotte Bellows
- Narrated by: Charlotte Bellows
- Length: 4 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Charlotte Bellows wrote The Definition of Beautiful between the ages of 15 and 17, in the wake of lockdown and in recovery from anorexia. In the tradition of Sylvia Plath in The Bell Jar and Françoise Sagan in Bonjour Tristesse, Bellows writes with deceptively straightforward urgency, pushing through society's constraints on the bodies and minds of girls and women to offer a story both achingly familiar and devastatingly new.
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Honest, beautiful body of work
- By Andrea Harrington on 10-08-24
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Stash
- My Life in Hiding
- By: Laura Cathcart Robbins
- Narrated by: Laura Cathcart Robbins
- Length: 9 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
After years of hiding her addiction from everyone—stockpiling pills in her Louboutins and elaborately scheduling her withdrawals between PTA meetings, baby showers, and tennis matches—Laura Cathcart Robbins is running out of places to hide. She has learned the hard way that even her high-profile marriage and Hollywood lifestyle can’t protect her from the pain she’s keeping bottled up inside. Facing divorce, the possibility of a custody battle, and the insistent voice of internalized racism that nags at her as a Black woman in a white world, Laura wonders just how much more she can take.
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Best Mom/wife alcoholism memoir I’ve read
- By Allison M. Billet on 04-06-23
What listeners say about The Weight of Beautiful
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Performance
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- Amazon Customer
- 11-16-23
Excellent!
A really great listen! You can hear the anguish in Jackie’s narration of her journey with anorexia. At points it’s hard to listen to the torture she put herself through. I congratulate her for her recovery! She’s a beautiful person inside and out.
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- Catherine G.
- 10-27-24
Vulnerability
Jackie...thank you for your exceptional transparency. This book shines a light on a disease that I believe has continued to be overlooked. The emotion behind your words is palpable. I highly recommend this book not only to see what's behind the wall anorexia but to see through to the heart of a character we see week after week. What we learn through the personal words of an incredible journey is that you are not a character at all. You are a person who has silently lived the trauma of food, a basic need that no one should ever fear. What a tremendous journey! Thank you for sharing this with us. May you continue to walk in strength. You are worthy of a healthy life of love, success and triumph. My only recommendation would be to please put a warning about the level of transparency as you take us through your journey given the level of detail.
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- Jane T.
- 09-30-23
A heartfelt beautifully written book that will help many
Thank you Jackie for sharing your story. You are a very courageous and gutsy lady. I could relate to so many things you experienced. I have no doubt that you will help many people who read your story. I could not put this book down. It is beautifully written and narrated. Jackie’s voice conveyed so much emotion and sincerity. A wonderful read!
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- Amazon Customer
- 10-06-23
Vulnerable, full of personal truth, brutal and beautiful
I hope Jackie knows how much she is helping and loaning out grace from her own experience to the listener.
Brutal and beautiful, Jackie. Well done!
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- larry twyford
- 09-27-23
Informative and intriguing
Jackie have a voice to so many of us that have food issues. This is a deep dive into anorexia. Trigger warnings.
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- Maureen Dwyer
- 10-25-23
Great read
I too suffered with a eating disorder. Her courage to write about it moved me.
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- VicG
- 03-04-24
Love the honesty!
I loved how honest, open and vulnerable she was, and you could hear it in her voice. ED are so scary and the public, in general, are very unaware of this disease .

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- Rich c
- 01-08-24
Great book!
Every woman should read this book. So relatable it made me cry and laugh. Beautifully written and so vulnerable. Chapter 9 and ten made me sob.
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- Jasper Sanfilippo
- 10-05-23
Very interesting story
Jackie does a great job providing a glimpse into her world and her struggles with anorexia
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- Vanessa N Gonzales
- 10-10-23
Thank you
Powerful and honest. I love that this was sugar coated and didn’t pull any punches.
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