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Narrated by:
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Matthew Josdal
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By:
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Piers Anthony
About this listen
Be careful what you wish for... "I'm actually a smart girl who would make any man an excellent wife. But no man sees that. No man is interested in my mind or personality, just my whatevers. So here is my wish: I'm board stiff. I want Adventure, Excitement, and Romance."
So begins Piers Anthony's 38th Xanth novel, in which Irrelevant Candy looks at her reflection in the water of the shallow well and sees luxuriant midnight-black hair reaching down to her breathtakingly slender waist, matching the dark eyes in her lovely face. A torso that comes close to absolute perfection. She is man's desire. That is part of the problem. In the shallow magic of the well, she asks that her wish be granted. Something happens. A sudden whirlwind surrounds her, lifting her up and ripping off her clothing. She is changing somehow. Then she falls flat on the ground. Literally. She has been transformed into a flat, stiff board with two knotholes for eyes.
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- Narrated by: George Guidall
- Length: 12 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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In this, the first novel of the best-selling Incarnations of Immortality series, Piers Anthony combines a deeply moving examination of the meaning of life and death with a gripping story of romance and loyalty, all set in a world of magic and technical wizardry.
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Full Series Review: 5 Stars
- By Jake on 04-06-08
By: Piers Anthony
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To Be a Woman
- The Metal Maiden Series, Book 1
- By: Piers Anthony
- Narrated by: Shannon Condon
- Length: 3 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Humanoid robots are surely in our future, but their uses are likely to be limited to body guarding, childcare, companionship, and sex. Other chores can better be done by smart non-humanoid machines designed for those specific tasks. But for these limited purposes, the best robots must be so realistic that they are indistinguishable from live people. Elasa is such a robot. You can't tell her nature if she doesn't reveal it. You can talk with her, embrace her, kiss her, and she is the perfect woman. Until she becomes the first conscious robot.
By: Piers Anthony
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Belgarath the Sorcerer
- By: David Eddings, Leigh Eddings
- Narrated by: Cameron Beierle
- Length: 32 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Best-selling authors David and Leigh Eddings welcome fans back to the time before The Belgariad and The Malloreon series. Join them as they chronicle that fateful conflict between two mortally opposed Destinies, in a monumental war of men and kings and gods.
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My Fav
- By Viv on 08-04-17
By: David Eddings, and others
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Star Trek: Strange New Worlds: The High Country
- By: John Jackson Miller
- Narrated by: Robert Petkoff
- Length: 16 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
When an experimental shuttlecraft fails, Captain Christopher Pike suspects a mechanical malfunction—only to discover the very principles on which Starfleet bases its technology have simply stopped functioning. He and his crewmates are forced to abandon ship in a dangerous maneuver that scatters their party across the strangest new world they’ve ever encountered.
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Just like watching an episode!
- By Matthew on 08-27-23
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Demons Don't Dream
- Xanth, Book 16
- By: Piers Anthony
- Narrated by: James Fouhey
- Length: 11 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Sixteen-year-old Dug has yet to be impressed by a computer game, but that's before he gets hooked by Companions of Xanth-and the beguilingly beautiful princess-serpent he's chosen to guide him. Nada Naga has her work cut out for her keeping Dug's eyes on the magical prize . . . and off of her human form.
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Meh.
- By Conan Fortunato on 05-19-24
By: Piers Anthony
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Split Infinity
- Apprentice Adept Series, Book 1
- By: Piers Anthony
- Narrated by: Traber Burns
- Length: 13 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
On the technological, decadent world of Proton, someone was trying to destroy Stile, serf and master Gamesman. His only escape lay in Phaze, a world totally ruled by magic. Soon he learned that his alternate self had already been murdered, and that he was next. On Proton, his fate depended on winning the great Games. On Phaze, he must master magic to survive. And if he used any magic at all, his friends were determined to kill him at once!
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Favorite Piers Anthony Series
- By Jerry Jones on 08-20-10
By: Piers Anthony
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On a Pale Horse
- Incarnations of Immortality, Book One
- By: Piers Anthony
- Narrated by: George Guidall
- Length: 12 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In this, the first novel of the best-selling Incarnations of Immortality series, Piers Anthony combines a deeply moving examination of the meaning of life and death with a gripping story of romance and loyalty, all set in a world of magic and technical wizardry.
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Full Series Review: 5 Stars
- By Jake on 04-06-08
By: Piers Anthony
-
To Be a Woman
- The Metal Maiden Series, Book 1
- By: Piers Anthony
- Narrated by: Shannon Condon
- Length: 3 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Humanoid robots are surely in our future, but their uses are likely to be limited to body guarding, childcare, companionship, and sex. Other chores can better be done by smart non-humanoid machines designed for those specific tasks. But for these limited purposes, the best robots must be so realistic that they are indistinguishable from live people. Elasa is such a robot. You can't tell her nature if she doesn't reveal it. You can talk with her, embrace her, kiss her, and she is the perfect woman. Until she becomes the first conscious robot.
By: Piers Anthony
-
Belgarath the Sorcerer
- By: David Eddings, Leigh Eddings
- Narrated by: Cameron Beierle
- Length: 32 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Best-selling authors David and Leigh Eddings welcome fans back to the time before The Belgariad and The Malloreon series. Join them as they chronicle that fateful conflict between two mortally opposed Destinies, in a monumental war of men and kings and gods.
-
-
My Fav
- By Viv on 08-04-17
By: David Eddings, and others
-
Star Trek: Strange New Worlds: The High Country
- By: John Jackson Miller
- Narrated by: Robert Petkoff
- Length: 16 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When an experimental shuttlecraft fails, Captain Christopher Pike suspects a mechanical malfunction—only to discover the very principles on which Starfleet bases its technology have simply stopped functioning. He and his crewmates are forced to abandon ship in a dangerous maneuver that scatters their party across the strangest new world they’ve ever encountered.
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Just like watching an episode!
- By Matthew on 08-27-23
What listeners say about Board Stiff
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Bonny
- 05-25-21
Ghost Writer
I’ve been a fan of Piers Anthony since the mid 90s this doesn’t sound at all like him. I was deeply disappointed. The storyline was weak and underdeveloped. I pray this was a ghost writer!
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- Andrew
- 04-02-18
Great book
I haven't read a story in the Xanth Series in a long time but this one has made me want to catch up on all I've missed.
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5 people found this helpful
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- Mark Lux
- 11-18-24
Piers Anthony's creative world of Xanth is Exquisitely intriguing and humorous.
the story and characters are wondrous and easily draw you into their magical world. they become friends and make you wish for a satisfying end to their quest. I have enjoyed all the xanth series and this one stands out as one of the best so far.
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- Andy Wilkie
- 10-19-20
Good
A good book if you want something very light. I would recommend to teenagers or pre-teens to start them reading
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- Breezybealle
- 12-08-16
Takes me back to the good ole' days...
I stumbled upon Piers Anthony in my early teens when a PC game for Xanth was released with a full copy of a Xanth tale (back in the early 90's when anything digital was a thing of the future). I was immediately hooked and from that day on swooped up every Land of Xanth book I could get my hands on. So seeing these on audible brought up many a good memory.
Some of the puns get lost between the written word and audio versions simply because it's all in the spelling of things... (ie: "Isle of View" vs. "I Love You") but I would still gladly use a plethora of credits (there are around 40 novels altogether) if audible would produce more than just the 3 works they currently offer. Especially if done in the hands of expert narrators. Matthew Josdal was a decent narrator, reminding me a lot of Nick Podehl who is one of my favorites, however it may fare better to have someone with a broader range of voice acting for the wide array of characters.
In any event, I was rather pleased with this title overall and will continue with the other two books offered at the moment. If you've never read a Xanth novel before you may want to read a physical copy of one of the beginning novels to familiarize yourself with the fantastic world Anthony has created. Believe me, you won't be sorry.
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23 people found this helpful
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- Dale
- 11-18-16
great read
it was nice to get back into the Xanth stories. Up to usual quality.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Lisa Castle
- 03-24-17
Fool's day book club
Perfect for a Fool's day book club. Lots of twists and turns and full of puns, just as you would expect from Piers Anthony.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Netgnome
- 08-03-20
The book is great...the audio not so much
Piers Anthony's Xanth series is well known for humor and obscure funny refeences to those "who know". Board Stiff is both laugh out loud funny and an occasional "groaner" as he plays with words and imagery. Sadly, the audio fails the book...it's as if the person reading the book has no understanding of the English language. Many of the funniest parts are delivered completely flat, and the "dialog tags" (i.e. "he said", "she muttered", "they explained") were spoken in such "broken" English as to actually detract from the story. His Canadian accent was obvious in the first 2 minutes, and it should have enhanced the book...but the delivery was void of any of the hallmarks of good theater, with very little attempt at consistent (or even interesting) vocal characterization. I hate to say it, but it's almost as if the reader was himself "Bored Stiff".
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1 person found this helpful
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- george summer
- 06-15-16
not for kids
this was a good book.. I felt it ended a little quickly with a strange sort of shortness to it but it was easy listening. the subject is something I would or let kids listen to.. it is by no means adult just a little much for a child.
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3 people found this helpful
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- Chris Gassman
- 08-19-22
nice story, won't pickup the series
the premise is interesting the premise is interesting. the word play is entertaining. the setup is somewhat predictable. the teaser for the next book is not as entertaining as this book
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1 person found this helpful