Breathers
A Zombie's Lament
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Narrated by:
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Kirby Heyborne
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By:
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S. G. Browne
About this listen
Meet Andy Warner, a recently deceased everyman and newly minted zombie. Resented by his parents, abandoned by his friends, and reviled by a society that no longer considers him human, Andy is having a bit of trouble adjusting to his new existence. But all that changes when he goes to an Undead Anonymous meeting and finds kindred souls in Rita, an impossibly sexy recent suicide with a taste for the formaldehyde in cosmetic products, and Jerry, a 21-year-old car-crash victim with an exposed brain and a penchant for Renaissance pornography. When the group meets a rogue zombie who teaches them the joys of human flesh, things start to get messy, and Andy embarks on a journey of self-discovery that will take him from his casket to the SPCA to a media-driven class-action lawsuit on behalf of the rights of zombies everywhere.
Darkly funny, surprisingly touching, and gory enough to satisfy even the most discerning reader, Breathers is a romantic zombie comedy (rom-zom-com, for short) that will leave you laughing, squirming, and clamoring for more.
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Max doesn't remember his mother, who was murdered by burglars before they emigrated from Beirut to New Jersey. He lives with his father, Rasheed, who is enamored of his concept of American culture - baseball and barbeques - and tries to shed his Lebanese heritage completely.
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Excellent
- By Cheyenne on 06-13-15
By: Karim Dimechkie
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I'll Be There
- By: Holly Goldberg Sloan
- Narrated by: Laura Jennings
- Length: 9 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Emily Bell believes in destiny. To her, being forced to sing a solo in the church choir - despite her average voice - is fate: because it's while she's singing that she first sees Sam. At first sight they are connected. Sam Border wishes he could escape, but there's nowhere for him to run. He and his little brother, Riddle, have spent their entire lives constantly uprooted by their unstable father. As Sam and Riddle are welcomed into the Bells' lives, they witness the warmth and protection of a family for the first time.
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Needs to be a film!
- By TreasureHunter on 06-25-16
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The Funhouse
- By: Dean Koontz
- Narrated by: Karen Peakes
- Length: 8 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Once there was a girl who ran away and joined a traveling carnival. She married a man she grew to hate - and gave birth to a child she could never love. A child so monstrous that she killed it with her own hands.… Twenty-five years later, Ellen Harper has a new life, a new husband, and two normal children - Joey loves monster movies, and Amy is about to graduate from high school. But their mother drowns her secret guilt in alcohol and prayer.
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Early, not so good, Koontz
- By Michael on 02-15-15
By: Dean Koontz
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The Portable Veblen
- By: Elizabeth Mckenzie
- Narrated by: Julia Gibson
- Length: 12 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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An exuberant, one-of-a-kind novel about love and family, war and nature, new money and old values by a brilliant New Yorker contributor. The Portable Veblen is a dazzlingly original novel that's as big-hearted as it is laugh-out-loud funny. Set in and around Palo Alto amid the culture clash of new money and old (antiestablishment) values, and with the specter of our current wars looming across its words, The Portable Veblen is an unforgettable look at the way we live now.
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Not what it was cracked up to be
- By Linda on 02-03-16
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Crimes by Moonlight
- Mysteries from the Dark Side
- By: Charlaine Harris - author/editor
- Narrated by: Natalie Ross
- Length: 12 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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In number-one New York Times best-selling author Charlaine Harris’s "Dahlia Underground,” venerable vampire Dahlia Lynley-Chivers survives an attack by an anti-vampire terrorist group, only to show them they tried to blow up the wrong bloodsucker. Bailey Ruth Raeburn, a ghost assigned to assist humans in trouble, steps into the middle of a marital dispute with surprising twists in Carolyn Hart’s “Riding High”....
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Pleasantly surprised
- By Bonnie on 08-06-11
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Too Bright to Hear Too Loud to See
- By: Juliann Garey
- Narrated by: Dan Butler
- Length: 11 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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In her tour-de-force first novel, Juliann Garey takes us inside the restless mind, ravaged heart, and anguished soul of Greyson Todd, a successful Hollywood studio executive who leaves his wife and young daughter and for a decade travels the world giving free reign to the bipolar disorder he's been forced to keep hidden for almost 20 years.
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Psychosis or Syphilis?
- By Vira on 04-02-13
By: Juliann Garey
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Stories
- All-New Tales
- By: Neil Gaiman - author/editor, Al Sarrantonio - editor, Joe Hill, and others
- Narrated by: Anne Bobby, Jonathan Davis, Katherine Kellgren, and others
- Length: 18 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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The best stories pull readers in and keep them turning the pages, eager to discover more—to find the answer to the question: "And then what happened?" The true hallmark of great literature is great imagination, and as Neil Gaiman and Al Sarrantonio prove with this outstanding collection, when it comes to great fiction, all genres are equal.
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Something for Everyone
- By Nicole on 05-24-17
By: Neil Gaiman - author/editor, and others
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Notes on a Banana
- A Memoir of Food, Love, and Manic Depression
- By: David Leite
- Narrated by: David Leite
- Length: 11 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Reminiscing about the people and events that shaped him, David looks back at the highs and lows of his life, from his rejection of being gay and his attempt to "turn straight" through Aesthetic Realism, a cult in downtown Manhattan, to becoming a writer, cookbook author, and web publisher, to his 23-year relationship with Alan, known to millions of David's readers and listeners as "The One", which began with (what else?) food.
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Finished it in a day!
- By Kathryn on 08-23-17
By: David Leite
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Double Feature
- A Novel
- By: Owen King
- Narrated by: Holter Graham
- Length: 16 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Unraveling the tumultuous, decades-spanning story of the Dolan family’s friends, lovers, and adversaries, Double Feature is about letting go of everything - regret, resentment, ambition, dignity, moving pictures, the dead - and taking it again from the top. Combining propulsive storytelling and mordant wit against the backdrop of indie filmmaking, Double Feature brims with a deep understanding of the trials of ambition and art, of relationships and life, and of our attempts to survive it all.
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Worst book ever! Well maybe.
- By Randall on 08-11-17
By: Owen King
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Aftertime
- An Aftertime Novel, Book 1
- By: Sophie Littlefield
- Narrated by: Ellen Archer
- Length: 10 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Awakening in a bleak landscape as scarred as her body, Cass Dollar vaguely recalls surviving something terrible. Having no idea how many weeks have passed, she slowly realizes the horrifying truth: Ruthie has vanished. And with her, nearly all of civilization. Where once-lush hills carried cars and commerce, the roads today see only cannibalistic Beaters - people turned hungry for human flesh by a government experiment gone wrong.
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False Advertisement!!
- By Dan on 05-31-12
What listeners say about Breathers
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Justin Upton
- 04-15-24
Hooked immediately
Words can't describe this epic tale 8 was sucked into. I was craving more by the end yet was fully satisfied
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- Twainy
- 07-12-15
First person zombie POV works
Fun zombie read. You definitely empathize with the zombie plight. UA, LOL! Adam defo had a better life as a zombie!
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall
- Leslie
- 05-10-10
Different, But Really Good!
I just finished listening to "Breathers", and I really liked it. The story is about "Zombies", so you can expect some gore. But, the story was really, really good.
Kirby Heyborne, was the narrator. He did a great job, of sounding like he was telling the story, instead of reading it.
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4 people found this helpful
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- Allen S.
- 07-19-17
fun quick listen!
my husband and I listened to this book on our way to VA beach. we laughed a ton. had to turn roll up our windows so people sitting in traffic wouldn't hear our zombie porn at certain points. totally a different way to look at zombies. so fun! highly suggest!
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- Jessi
- 12-18-20
Amazing!
Till this day one of my favorite books. If you have not picked up a S. G. Browne books, I highly recommend picking one up. As for Mr. Heyborne, what a perfect pick to read a book like this.
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Overall
- Jillian
- 04-08-10
Entertaining but with grating reader
During the first few hours of this book, something bothered me. At first I couldn't figure out if it was bad writing or a bad narrator but I eventually concluded that I couldn't take another minute of this guy's voice - its meter, its emphasis, the way that the end of most of his sentences go up, like everything is a question. It was like listening to an Intro to Theater class get through their first monologues. The twentieth or so time the guy said "Breeeeeeethers" my driving partner and I both lunged for the dial and listened to talk radio instead.
Which is sort of a shame, because the story itself was good. Not great - not moving or particularly resonant - but a good driving book: fun and quick. Or, as Kirby Heyborne might say, "Fun and quiiiiick?" Overall it deserved a better narrator, one that better suited the sardonic tone of the narrative itself.
sigh.
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4 people found this helpful
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Overall
- GC of Chicago
- 01-09-10
Funny, Cute, Grusome
I don't think the summary does enough to warn would-be readers about the intricately detailed gore in this book. There's plenty of it, and although the zombie sex isn't all that graphic, the zombie feasting is. So be warned that if you have a weak stomach, you should probably step far away from this audiobook.
But for those who can handle it, this book is a marvelous treat. There is a lot of quirky humor and the story itself is very engaging. It starts out well, takes you through a rewarding ride and the ending is one of the most satisfying I've read in a long time.
The characters are fun, although some can be a bit cliched (Jerry, for example), they are still lovable and you become attached to them.
Kirby Heyborne does a terrific job of reading so I highly recommend this book to most people, even if they're not into zombies that much. For those who are fans of the living dead, this is a must-read.
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2 people found this helpful
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Overall
- Cathie
- 09-24-09
I really liked this book!
I am pleasantly surprised that I liked this book as much as I did. Definitely dark humor and quite a bit of gore, but a fun listen. You will cheer for the zombies. The narrator is perfect for this story, and does a really good job.
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5 people found this helpful
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Overall
- K. Williamson
- 12-20-09
Entertaining..couldn't put it down.
Not Scary, but revealing...a twist on "Night of the living dead" in the fact that you wake up after your dead, find a group session of other Zombies (who smell bad to) and find out you are not alone, but hated, but kind of like the Homeless, ignored until you are out on the street, and then watch out for rotten fruit, the wipping toys of frat boys. But Zombie Romance is in the air and what..a magic exlir..
Lamet, for sure, but I found it a great read...very well done.
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2 people found this helpful
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Overall
- Charlene
- 11-12-10
the zombie of self-pity.
Like a lumbering zombie, this plot moves sloooooooowly. The main character whines a LOT - admittedly, he has reason to complain. Zombiedom in the world of the book is certainly unfortunate and all the "breathers" are jerks. However, listening to someone complain about the same stuff for a few hours is pretty boring. While some of the episodes in the book have the potential to be amusing, buried under the self-pity of the narrator, they don't really make it. Seriously, give it a pass.
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3 people found this helpful