Checkered Scissors
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Narrated by:
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Gary Roelofs
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By:
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Douglas Schwartz
About this listen
When Edwin Black dreams of a pair of scissors that can cut into the fabric of worlds, four lost souls find themselves stuck in unlikely places: a young entrepreneur, a swimming pool salesman, a collector, and a mad scientist. Their lives intertwine in an adventure extending between worlds. In order to find where they would rather be, they search for the one thing that might take them there: The Checkered Scissors.
Checkered Scissors is a novel that explores a world based on dreams and life experiences, and what happens when people from the dream world stumble into the real world, and vice versa. One person stumbles into another world and struggles to find his way back. The next also wants to find his way back after he is taken from his world too soon. A third person got stuck in between worlds, and longs to get back to work. While the last despises his creator, and fights to escape the world he hates.
©2015 Douglas Schwartz (P)2016 Douglas SchwartzListeners also enjoyed...
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Not long after Isabel "Izzy" Chambers opens up a knitting shop in the sleepy fishing town of Sea Harbor, Massachusetts, a diverse group of women begins congregating each week to form the Seaside Knitters. Izzy raises some eyebrows when she rents the apartment above her shop to Angie Archer, whose reputation for loose behavior and a quick temper has made her unpopular with many locals. But could any of them have wanted her dead? Angie's body is discovered drowned in the harbor, her long red hair tangled like seaweed in a lobster trap.
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Great first book in a new series
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Prelude to Mayhem
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- Length: 10 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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In the ruins of his world, Harrison Cody follows a mysterious voice on the radio as he and his pixie sidekick travel on foot across a terrifyingly random landscape. They discover Dorothy O'Neill, who has had to survive among monsters when her greatest worry used to be how to navigate high school. Together they search for what remains of Chicago, and the hope that civilization can be rebuilt.
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Fun and unique post-apocalyptic fiction
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Last Wool and Testament
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- Unabridged
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Thank Goodness It's Fiber: That's the name of the spunky group of fiber and needlework artists founded by Ivy McClellan, Kath's beloved grandmother. Though Ivy has recently passed on, the members still meet regularly at her fiber and fabric shop, The Weaver's Cat, which Kath has now inherited. But that's only the first in a series of surprises when Kath returns to the small town of Blue Plum, Tennessee, to settle her grandmother's affairs
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Not even light reading
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The Hollow
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- Unabridged
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When Abbey’s best friend, Kristen, vanishes at the bridge near Sleepy Hollow Cemetery, everyone else is all too quick to accept that Kristen is dead, and rumors fly that her death was no accident. Abbey goes through the motions of mourning her best friend, but privately, she refuses to believe that Kristen is really gone. Then she meets Caspian, the gorgeous and mysterious boy who shows up out of nowhere at Kristen’s funeral, and who keeps reappearing in Abbey’s life. Caspian clearly has secrets of his own, but he’s the only person who makes Abbey feel normal again.
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Slow
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The Syndrome
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When Amanda travels east to Orlando on a hunch, she's met with the worst news possible. Kingdom Keeper Finn Whitman is missing. Calling on her own gift (she's telekinetic), her sister Jess' ability to dream the future, and their fellow Fairlie Mattie Weaver's unexplained ability to read minds through physical contact, the three gifted girls must navigate treachery, deception, and the stubborn, unwilling parents of the missing Keepers if they're to save their friends.
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Loved it!
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As the Tide Comes In
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After losing two loved ones in a devastating tornado and suffering a head injury, Tara Abbott flees to St. Simons Island, where her disorientation causes the lines between imagination and reality, past and present to blur. There she encounters island residents Julep Burnside, Luella Ward, Sue Beth Manning, and Dell Calhoun - The Glynn Girls - who have been friends since Bible camp, 40 years earlier. When Julep's son Gavin identifies a troubled soul in need of help, can the Glynn Girls guide Tara back to herself?
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enjoyed
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Grace Under Pressure
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Everyone wants a piece of millionaire Bennett Marshfield, owner of Marshfield Manor, but now it's up to new curator Grace Wheaton and handsome groundskeeper Jack Embers to protect dear old Marshfield. But to do this, they'll have to investigate a botched Ponzi scheme, some torrid Wheaton family secrets-and sour grapes out for revenge.
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Loved it!!!
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Off to Be the Wizard
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- Length: 10 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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It's a simple story. Boy finds proof that reality is a computer program. Boy uses program to manipulate time and space. Boy gets in trouble. Boy flees back in time to Medieval England to live as a wizard while he tries to think of a way to fix things. Boy gets in more trouble. Oh, and boy meets girl at some point.
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Hang in there
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The Year's Top Short SF Novels 5
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- Unabridged
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Short novels are movie-length narratives that may well be the perfect length for science fiction stories. This audio collection presents the best-of-the-best short science fiction novels published in 2014 by current and emerging masters of this vibrant form of storytelling.
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Narrator sounds like Tony Danza
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The Candy Shop War
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- Length: 10 hrs and 26 mins
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Welcome to the Sweet Tooth Ice Cream & Candy Shoppe, where the confections are a bit on the... unusual side. Rock candy that makes you weightless. Jawbreakers that make you unbreakable. Chocolate balls that make you a master of disguise. Four young friends - Nate, Summer, Trevor, and Pigeon - meet the grandmotherly Mrs. White, owner of the Sweet Tooth, and soon learn about the magical side effects of her candies.
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Entertaining for grade schoolers and their parents
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By: Brandon Mull
What listeners say about Checkered Scissors
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Matthew
- 01-10-17
Mark this one as Incomplete
What did you like best about Checkered Scissors? What did you like least?
I honestly did not finish this book.The chapters I did listen to were very creative, but extraordinarily scattered and in need of editing. I am confident that this book is better than what I understood, but I couldn't.
Would you ever listen to anything by Douglas Schwartz again?
I would try.
Which character – as performed by Gary Roelofs – was your favorite?
Incomplete.
If this book were a movie would you go see it?
Can't speak to this, as it is incomplete.
Any additional comments?
I received this book from Audioblast free of charge in exchange for this review. I could not finish this book personally, so it is not fair for me to provide a judgment.
I will say this book was very interesting, creative and unique. I found it difficult to follow, and it didn't align with my style, as it is. That said, it may work well for other folks.
Mark this one as incomplete.
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- Nomi
- 12-07-16
To slow for me
I just couldn't get into this book. I got halfway through and finally just ditched. The idea of the story was interesting but it was just to slow for me. Just couldn't hold my interest.
The narrator did a great job. He gave a good performance.
I was voluntarily provided this free review copy audiobook by the author, narrator, or publisher.
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- Norma Miles
- 01-21-17
"To be lost and abandoned ...."
Was Checkered Scissors worth the listening time?
To be honest, I have struggled to finish this book, with several restarts, over a considerable period of time. This is not to say that it is a bad story, simply one which was unable to either fire my imagination or hold my interest. And in this I might well be out of step with other readers; after all, I a not a fan of either Harry Potter or Tolkien's Lord of the Rings, either (I know, heresy - but I am trying to be fully up front here).
The book has several merits; the story is magically creative, shifting between dream states and 'reality' , all peopled with creative characters and some clever concepts, in particular the idea of a pool which can be cut to shape and where water can run perpendicularly and be folded is deliciously intriguing. The writing itself is simple, short sentences belying the complexity of the iconntent, and I enjoyed the waking life excerpts about Ed, his friend and partner in the cleverly named company Hammond Eggs. But the fairy tale overall, for me, became too long and infinitely tedious.
Gary Roelof's narration cannot be faulted. His calm and steady reading of the work was well paced and sympathetically performed, adding, after a while, to the dream like quality. Unfortunately, it also had the effect of drifting me away into my own dream world ...
I received Checkered Scissors as a complimentary gift from the rights owner, via Audiobook Boom. My thanks for this: it was an experience unlike most others For many I think this would be a great story, firing new ideas. Especially, perhaps, as a book for children caught in that magical age which precedes the launch into full adulthood. But personally I found the characters peopling the dream worlds not to my taste, with too much fantasy and fairytale.
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- Quella
- 12-18-16
An original journey tale
“Checkered Scissors” by Douglas Schwartz, narrated by Gary Roelofs, is a goofy, whacky, and quite unique tale of one man’s journey to recover his lost magical scissors. We meet some quite different characters along the way such as Glick who is over a thousand years old and he possesses people’s bodies. A salesman who uses scissors to craft his wonderfully creative and very popular pools. A mad scientist looking to find ways of travel between worlds so he can take over and rule them. And Max whose dreams have created much of what was brought to life in the book. Along with a host of other odd characters such as an ex-wrestler who was attacked by a shark.
The book takes the reader to many different otherly worlds (no space travel) where plants digest not only insects but large animals, pool water stays put in a horizontal position even though there is gravity, and entire cities with malls float around the skies; avoiding aircraft routes for obvious reasons. We come across some longtime warring factions and so much more as the book winds its way from start to finish. If this all sounds like quite a distinct journey, you would be right. At times, I found myself having to stop and take time to digest all that was happening. If this all sounds like something that would interest you, I would recommend you listen to the book or pick up a different edition. I do have a few caveats listed below in my review.
Let me start by saying that I did not go into this book understanding it was intended to be read and enjoyed by grade levels 4-12 (10-18-year-olds) until I did some research on the book’s Amazon Kindle edition page. Had I known this, I may not have been as interested in listening to the audiobook version. However, knowing this I want my review to reflect the book’s intended audience.
I found the writing style geared towards a younger audience along with more slapstick style humor. I do not remember any potty or immature humor, it was wittier to the age group. At times, I found it difficult knowing the audience because some topics or discussions would clearly only be understood by an adult reader. I’m unsure if the author was attempting to write like a Disney movie where something is funny to a child but also funny to an adult in a different way. A few referenced items in the book would only be known to an adult. I do not remember the book containing any innuendoes but there were a couple scenes discussing more adult subject matter; relationships, gender, etc. Overall the book’s sentences were simpler and shorter than I would expect when listening/reading adult aged books; so, it is more appropriate for the targeted audience.
This review is not saying that the book was unenjoyable, but once I understood it was directed towards a younger audience I could more freely appreciate it. The book reminds me more of a blending of steampunk, fantasy, and modern worlds all combined to create this very complex world where Max and his friends travel to find his magic scissors.
Let me turn my attention to the audiobook narration. Overall I think Mr. Roelofs did a good job narrating the book. His reading was consistent and well-paced. He appears to be a veteran in audiobook narration with over one hundred other titles to his name; crossing various genres. At times, I felt he was reading as I would to my child in the way he emphasized some sentences or voiced the different characters. Again, the book’s target audience is younger so I’m assuming the narration was read with this idea in mind. I have not listened to any other books by this narrator, so I’m unable to make any judgements apart from this book.
I do want to call out a few production issues with the audiobook version. First, there were a few places where I could make out some background noise, swallows, or it was clear the author was running out of air before completing the sentences he was reading. These were subtle items and did not take away from the overall story. The bigger issues for me was that an entire chapter (#26), containing nearly 20minutes of audio, was silent when I listened to the audiobook. After finishing the book, I deleted the copy I had downloaded from Audible, re-downloaded it and tried to listen to this one chapter again, but it too was blank. I’m sure this is something that Audible can address if it is not a production issue.
Disclaimer: I was voluntarily provided this review copy audiobook at no charge by the author, publisher and/or narrator.
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