
Cloistered
My Years as a Nun
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Narrated by:
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Catherine Coldstream
About this listen
Long-listed, NPR Best Book of the Year, 2024
This program is read by the author.
"A profoundly moving memoir which gripped me . . . It’s about spirituality and asceticism and silence and sisterhood, but also about how flawed human beings can abuse power and how hermetically sealed communities, which should care for and protect their members, can be dangerously vulnerable to threats from inside their walls.”—Mark Haddon, author of The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime, The Porpoise and others
An astonishing memoir of twelve years as a contemplative nun in a silent monastery.
Cloistered takes the listener deep into the hidden world of a traditional Carmelite monastery as it approaches the third Millennium and tells the story of an intense personal journey into and out of an enclosed life of poverty, chastity, and obedience. Finding an apparently perfect world at Akenside Priory, in Northumberland, Catherine trusts herself to a group of twenty silent women, believing she is trusting herself to God. As the beauty and mystery of an ancient way of life enfold her, she surrenders herself wholly to its power, quite unaware of the complexity and dangers that lie ahead.
Cut off from the wider world for decades, the community has managed to evade accountability to any authority beyond itself. When Sister Catherine realises that a mesmerising cult of the personality, with the distortions it entails, has replaced the ancient ideal of religious obedience, she is faced with a dilemma. Will she submit to this, or will she be forced to speak out?
An exploration of the limits of trust, Cloistered shows us how far youthful idealism can take us along the road of self-surrender, and of how much harm is done when institutional flaws go unacknowledged. Catherine’s honest account of her time in the monastery–and her dramatic flight from it–is both a love song to a lost community and an exploration of what is most compelling, yet most potentially destructive when closed human groups become laws unto themselves.
A Macmillan Audio production from St. Martin’s Press.
©2024 Catherine Coldstream (P)2024 Macmillan AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
"This is a memoir of emotions felt viscerally. But there are also remarkable spiritual insights, intellectual reflections on life and death and, of course, plenty about the intense relationships that developed between Catherine, and the other sisters. Engrossing and moving.” - Belinda Jack, Author of George Sand: A Woman's Life Writ Large and The Woman Reader
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Get the Picture
- A Mind-Bending Journey Among the Inspired Artists and Obsessive Art Fiends Who Taught Me How to See
- By: Bianca Bosker
- Narrated by: Bianca Bosker
- Length: 10 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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An award-winning journalist obsessed with obsession, Bianca Bosker’s existence was upended when she wandered into the art world—and couldn’t look away. Intrigued by artists who hyperventilate around their favorite colors and art fiends who max out credit cards to show hunks of metal they think can change the world, Bosker grew fixated on understanding why art matters and how she—or any of us—could engage with it more deeply.
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I Don’t think I Got the Picture
- By Emily J. on 03-23-24
By: Bianca Bosker
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By the Fire We Carry
- The Generations-Long Fight for Justice on Native Land
- By: Rebecca Nagle
- Narrated by: Rebecca Nagle
- Length: 8 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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A powerful work of reportage and American history that braids the story of the forced removal of Native Americans onto treaty lands in the nation’s earliest days, and a small-town murder in the 1990s that led to a Supreme Court ruling reaffirming Native rights to that land more than a century later.
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So great to see the full story after This Land pod
- By S. Armor on 04-12-25
By: Rebecca Nagle
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Not the End of the World
- How We Can Be the First Generation to Build a Sustainable Planet
- By: Hannah Ritchie
- Narrated by: Hannah Ritchie PhD
- Length: 9 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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It’s become common to tell kids that they’re going to die from climate change. We are constantly bombarded by doomsday headlines that tell us the soil won’t be able to support crops, fish will vanish from our oceans, and that we should reconsider having children.
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Environmental Sustainability Analysis
- By RM on 04-16-24
By: Hannah Ritchie
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Come and Get It
- By: Kiley Reid
- Narrated by: Nicole Lewis
- Length: 12 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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It's 2017 at the University of Arkansas. Millie Cousins, a senior resident assistant, wants to graduate, get a job, and buy a house. So when Agatha Paul, a visiting professor and writer, offers Millie an easy yet unusual opportunity, she jumps at the chance. But Millie's starry-eyed hustle becomes jeopardized by odd new friends, vengeful dorm pranks, and illicit intrigue.
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LGBT Propaganda on Overdrive
- By Gretchen on 02-16-24
By: Kiley Reid
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In My Time of Dying
- How I Came Face to Face with the Idea of an Afterlife
- By: Sebastian Junger
- Narrated by: Sebastian Junger
- Length: 4 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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For years as an award-winning war reporter, Sebastian Junger traveled to many front lines and frequently put his life at risk. And yet, the closest he ever came to death was the summer of 2020 while spending a quiet afternoon at the New England home he shared with his wife and two young children. Crippled by abdominal pain, Junger was rushed to the hospital by ambulance. Once there, he began slipping away. As blackness encroached, he was visited by his dead father, inviting Junger to join him.
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Profound
- By Anonymous User on 06-16-24
By: Sebastian Junger
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My Beloved Monster
- Masha, the Half-Wild Rescue Cat Who Rescued Me
- By: Caleb Carr
- Narrated by: James Lurie
- Length: 13 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Caleb Carr has had special relationships with cats since he was a young boy in a turbulent household, famously peopled by the founding members of the Beat Generation, where his steadiest companions were the adopted cats that lived with him both in the city and the country. As an adult, he has had many close feline companions, with relationships that have outlasted most of his human ones. But only after building a three-story home in rural, upstate New York did he enter into the most extraordinary of all of his cat pairings: Masha, a Siberian Forest cat who had been abandoned as a kitten.
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True love
- By Lucy M Norris on 06-29-24
By: Caleb Carr
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Grief Is for People
- By: Sloane Crosley
- Narrated by: Sloane Crosley
- Length: 5 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Grief Is for People is a deeply moving and surprisingly suspenseful portrait of friendship, and a book about loss packed with verve for life. Sloane Crosley is one of our most renowned observers of contemporary behavior, and now the pathos that has been ever present in her trademark wit is on full display. After the pain and confusion of losing her closest friend to suicide, Crosley looks for answers in friends, philosophy, and art, hoping for a framework more useful than the unavoidable stages of grief.
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Beautiful
- By MS on 03-03-24
By: Sloane Crosley
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Sociopath
- A Memoir
- By: Patric Gagne Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Patric Gagne Ph.D.
- Length: 11 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Patric Gagne realized she made others uncomfortable before she started kindergarten. Something about her caused people to react in a way she didn’t understand. She suspected it was because she didn’t feel things the way other kids did. Emotions like fear, guilt, and empathy eluded her. For the most part, she felt nothing. And she didn’t like the way that “nothing” felt.
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Fascinating and Perfect Performance!
- By ScoobaRubio on 04-05-24
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Real Americans
- A Novel
- By: Rachel Khong
- Narrated by: Louisa Zhu, Eric Yang, Eunice Wong
- Length: 14 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Real Americans begins on the precipice of Y2K in New York City, when twenty-two-year-old Lily Chen, an unpaid intern at a slick media company, meets Matthew. Matthew is everything Lily is not: easygoing and effortlessly attractive, a native East Coaster and, most notably, heir to a vast pharmaceutical empire. Lily couldn't be more different: flat-broke, raised in Tampa, the only child of scientists who fled Mao’s Cultural Revolution. Despite all this, Lily and Matthew fall in love.
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STELLAR STORYTELLING
- By Brenda C. on 05-02-24
By: Rachel Khong
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Soldiers and Kings
- Survival and Hope in the World of Human Smuggling
- By: Jason De León
- Narrated by: Jason De León
- Length: 9 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Political instability, poverty, climate change, and the insatiable appetite for cheap labor all fuel clandestine movement across borders. As those borders harden, the demand for smugglers who aid migrants across them increases every year. Yet the real lives and work of smugglers—or coyotes, or guides, as they are often known by the migrants who hire their services—are only ever reported on from a distance, using tired tropes and stereotypes, often depicted as boogie men and violent warlords.
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Honest and enlightening
- By Amazon Customer on 04-17-24
By: Jason De León
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The Lost Story
- A Novel
- By: Meg Shaffer
- Narrated by: Jorjeana Marie
- Length: 10 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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As boys, best friends Jeremy Cox and Rafe Howell went missing in a vast West Virginia state forest, only to mysteriously reappear six months later with no explanation for where they’d gone or how they’d survived. Fifteen years after their miraculous homecoming, Rafe is a reclusive artist who still bears scars inside and out but has no memory of what happened during those months. Meanwhile, Jeremy has become a famed missing persons’ investigator. With his uncanny abilities, he is the one person who can help Emilie Wendell find her sister, who vanished in the very same forest as Rafe and Jeremy.
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Seriously disappointing gay/bisexual nonsense
- By Ashley Allen on 07-21-24
By: Meg Shaffer
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The Many Lives of Mama Love
- A Memoir of Lying, Stealing, Writing, and Healing
- By: Lara Love Hardin
- Narrated by: Lara Love Hardin
- Length: 9 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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No one expects the police to knock on the door of the million-dollar two-story home of the perfect cul-de-sac housewife. But soccer mom Lara Love Hardin has been hiding a shady secret: she is funding her heroin addiction by stealing her neighbors’ credit cards. Lara is convicted of thirty-two felonies and becomes inmate S32179. She finds that jail is a class system with a power structure that is somewhere between an adolescent sleepover party and Lord of the Flies. But Lara quickly learns the rules and brings love and healing to her fellow inmates.
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Well written and great story
- By A. Champ on 09-02-23
By: Lara Love Hardin
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Nuclear War
- A Scenario
- By: Annie Jacobsen
- Narrated by: Annie Jacobsen
- Length: 11 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Every generation, a journalist has looked deep into the heart of the nuclear military establishment: the technologies, the safeguards, the plans, and the risks. These investigations are vital to how we understand the world we really live in—where one nuclear missile will beget one in return, and where the choreography of the world’s end requires massive decisions made on seconds’ notice with information that is only as good as the intelligence we have. Pulitzer Prize finalist Annie Jacobsen’s Nuclear War: A Scenario explores this ticking-clock scenario.
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Apocalyptic
- By Anonymous User on 04-12-24
By: Annie Jacobsen
What listeners say about Cloistered
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- Julianne Buenting
- 03-21-24
Fasinating and thoughtful
This book is beautifully written and performed. It provides a detailed story of cloisterd life and of a vocstional journey that evolves and changes much within a deep trusting faith and love of God.
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- Amazon Customer
- 04-06-24
Fascinating memoir
First of all, the author gave a wonderful performance in reading her book. Very well done!
Being a spiritual seeker myself, I so related to the author’s life and search for her life meaning. The description of the religious community and relationships was very interesting. Yes, dysfunctional but sadly, not all that unique. I’ve been a part of and have read of many such organizations. As the author observed……it’s human nature.
Thank you, Catherine, for sharing your amazing story!!
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- Walt Trachim
- 04-26-24
Amazing story
The author provided the narration for this story. It started off a little bit slowly but it picked up the pace in the second half of the narrative. Her experience, to say the least, was shocking, especially her description of the beating she took at the hands of the now deceased prioress.
Overall, the narrative was quite captivating. I would strongly recommend it
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- Amazon Customer
- 05-02-24
The book I needed at this time
As a 70 year old woman who spent her whole life working for the Catholic Church (but not a nun!) this book gave an honest picture of the struggles so many of us faced. It was the final personal victory and sense of peace and forgiveness delivered by the author that can give us hope.
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- We R Dust
- 06-04-24
Interesting, but so long-winded!
The book was interesting, but it just dragged on and on. The tone became semi-“whiney” as well. I was just annoyed by the end.
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- KBW
- 04-07-24
An Exquisite Memoir
Once upon a time I seriously considered the cloister. If I had entered it would have been about the same era as the author’s experience. Through the audiobook I heard her tell the story of her initial years as I had imagined them for myself. I visited monasteries frequently while traveling to be transported by the chanting, by the stone corridors, the humble accommodations. Her story was a vicarious living of what might have been, including similar challenges, if I’d chosen a different path. Many years later, as a health professional, I had the opportunity to make visits to care for some aging cloistered nuns. While advanced in years they struck me as quite childlike emotionally and intellectually. Surely they had developed in similarly protected and sheltered conditions. I hope that reforms in monasticism have evolved and gotten through to healthier models of community and spiritual development. I’m very grateful for the authors courage and vulnerability in excavating and telling this story.
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- iggynut
- 04-23-24
Beautiful book
Catherine Cold stream has written Cloistered, a deeply personal and beautiful book about her years as a Carmelite nun. Her relationship with the God she believes in becomes a challenge, as does her relationship with the Order she has joined. This is a very human story where people, including nuns, act as people do. I highly recommend this book.
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- elaine
- 04-28-24
Unforgettable
Beautifully written and narrated on audio book . This genuine and compelling memoir of Catherine Coldstream's experience in the cloister will stay with me. Am grateful to have listened to this deeply spiritual work that incorporated both psychological and social dimensions to this moving story.
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- Kenneth J. Luurs
- 04-11-24
A wonderful memoir, enhanced via listening to the audio book
A great listen. The narrative is honest, engaging and thoughtfully told. I’ll likely revisit this audiobook in the future.
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- sensitivefern
- 05-16-24
Amazing, poetically told memoir
I learned about this book from an NPR interview between the author and Terry Gross. Terry noted the poetic way that Catherine tells her story. She has such a way with words and has a beautiful speaking voice as well. I have always been curious what life as a nun might look like and while it seems most communities are much healthier than this one, it was quite interesting.
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