Confessions of a Scary Mommy
An Honest and Irreverent Look at Motherhood - The Good, The Bad, and the Scary
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wishlist failed.
Adding to library failed
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
Get 2 free audiobooks during trial.
Buy for $16.00
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
-
Narrated by:
-
Jill Smokler
-
By:
-
Jill Smokler
About this listen
Sometimes I just let my children fall asleep in front of the TV.
In a culture that idealizes motherhood, it’s scary to confess that, in your house, being a mother is beautiful and dirty and joyful and frustrating all at once. Admitting that it’s not easy doesn’t make you a bad mom; at least, it shouldn’t.
If I can’t survive my daughter as a toddler, how the hell am I going to get through the teenage years?
When Jill Smokler was first home with her small children, she thought her blog would be something to keep friends and family updated. To her surprise, she hit a chord in the hearts of mothers everywhere.
I end up doing my son’s homework. It’s wrong, but so much easier.
Total strangers were contributing their views on that strange reality called motherhood. As other women shared their stories, Jill realized she wasn’t alone in her feelings of exhaustion and imperfection.
My eighteen month old still can’t say “Mommy” but used the word “shit” in perfect context.
But she sensed her readers were still holding back, so decided to start an anonymous confessional, a place where real moms could leave their most honest thoughts without fearing condemnation.
I pretend to be happy but I cry every night in the shower.
The reactions were amazing: some sad, some pee-in-your-pants funny, some brutally honest. But they were real, not a commercial glamorization.
I clock out of motherhood at 8 P.M. and hide in the basement with my laptop and a beer.
If you’re already a fan, lock the bathroom door on your whining kids, run a bubble bath, and settle in. If you’ve not encountered Scary Mommy before, break out a glass of champagne as well, because you’ll be toasting your initiation into a select club.
I know why some animals eat their young.
In chapters that cover husbands ("The Biggest Baby of Them All") to homework ("Didn’t I Already Graduate?"), Confessions of a Scary Mommy combines all-new essays from Jill with the best of the anonymous confessions.
Sometimes I wish my son was still little - then I hear kids screaming at the store.
As Jill says, “We like to paint motherhood as picture perfect. A newborn peacefully resting on his mother’s chest. A toddler taking tentative first steps into his mother’s loving arms. A mother fluffing her daughter’s prom dress. These moments are indeed miraculous and joyful; they can also be few and far between.”
©2012 Jill Smokler (P)2012 Brilliance Audio, Inc.Listeners also enjoyed...
-
#IMomSoHard
- By: Kristin Hensley, Jen Smedley
- Narrated by: Kristin Hensley, Jen Smedley
- Length: 7 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In their highly anticipated first audiobook, the hilarious mom duo with millions of followers explores all the ridiculous shit you’re expected to do to keep multiple humans alive and happy-ish and celebrates the love for the friends who get you through it.
-
-
IRelateSoHard
- By Peekablue on 04-20-19
By: Kristin Hensley, and others
-
Good Morning, Monster
- A Therapist Shares Five Heroic Stories of Emotional Recovery
- By: Catherine Gildiner
- Narrated by: Deborah Burgess
- Length: 13 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In this fascinating narrative, therapist Catherine Gildiner presents five of what she calls her most heroic and memorable patients. Among them: A successful, first-generation Chinese immigrant musician suffering sexual dysfunction; a young woman whose father abandoned her at age nine with her younger siblings in an isolated cottage in the depth of winter; and a glamorous workaholic whose narcissistic, negligent mother greeted her each morning of her childhood with "Good morning, Monster". Each patient presents a mystery, one that will only be unpacked over years.
-
-
some things shouldn't be consumed
- By Jess on 12-28-22
-
Sh*tty Mom
- The Parenting Guide for the Rest of Us
- By: Karen Moline, Mary Ann Zoellner, Alicia Ybarbo, and others
- Narrated by: Laurie Kilmartin
- Length: 3 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Sh*tty Mom is the ultimate parenting guide, written by four moms who have seen it all. As hilarious as it is universal, each chapter presents a common parenting scenario with advice on how to get through it in the easiest and most efficient way possible. With chapters such as "How to Sleep Until 9 A.M. Every Weekend" and "When Seeing an Infant Triggers a Mental Illness That Makes You Want to Have Another Baby," as well as a Sh*tty Mom quiz, this is a must-have, laugh-out-loud funny audiobook for the sh*tty parent in all of us.
-
-
Would not recommend this book to anyone
- By Anonymous User on 09-14-18
By: Karen Moline, and others
-
To Have and to Hold
- Motherhood, Marriage, and the Modern Dilemma
- By: Molly Millwood
- Narrated by: Molly Millwood
- Length: 9 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A clinical psychologist’s exploration of the modern dilemmas women face in the wake of new motherhood. When Molly Millwood became a mother, she was fully prepared for what she would gain: an adorable baby boy; hard-won mothering skills; and a messy, chaotic, beautiful life. But what she did not expect was what she would lose: aspects of her identity, a baseline level of happiness, a general sense of well-being.
-
-
Pretty good
- By C Sandell on 03-07-21
By: Molly Millwood
-
How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids
- By: Jancee Dunn
- Narrated by: Jancee Dunn
- Length: 7 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A hilariously candid account of one woman's quest to bring her post-baby marriage back from the brink, with life-changing, real-world advice.
-
-
Not quite what I was hoping for.
- By Oldschoolreasons on 04-25-19
By: Jancee Dunn
-
Everybody Fights
- So Why Not Get Better at It?
- By: Kim Holderness, Penn Holderness
- Narrated by: Kim Holderness, Penn Holderness
- Length: 6 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
For the last several years, Penn and Kim Holderness of The Holderness Family have done the hard maintenance and the research to learn how to fight better. With the help of their marriage coach Dr. Christopher Edmonston, they break down their biggest (and in some cases, funniest) fights. How did a question about chicken wings turn into a bra fight (no, not a bar fight; a bra fight)? How did a roll of toilet paper lead to tears, resentment, and a stint in the guest bedroom?
-
-
if I had known...
- By Corrales Reader on 04-09-21
By: Kim Holderness, and others
-
#IMomSoHard
- By: Kristin Hensley, Jen Smedley
- Narrated by: Kristin Hensley, Jen Smedley
- Length: 7 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In their highly anticipated first audiobook, the hilarious mom duo with millions of followers explores all the ridiculous shit you’re expected to do to keep multiple humans alive and happy-ish and celebrates the love for the friends who get you through it.
-
-
IRelateSoHard
- By Peekablue on 04-20-19
By: Kristin Hensley, and others
-
Good Morning, Monster
- A Therapist Shares Five Heroic Stories of Emotional Recovery
- By: Catherine Gildiner
- Narrated by: Deborah Burgess
- Length: 13 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In this fascinating narrative, therapist Catherine Gildiner presents five of what she calls her most heroic and memorable patients. Among them: A successful, first-generation Chinese immigrant musician suffering sexual dysfunction; a young woman whose father abandoned her at age nine with her younger siblings in an isolated cottage in the depth of winter; and a glamorous workaholic whose narcissistic, negligent mother greeted her each morning of her childhood with "Good morning, Monster". Each patient presents a mystery, one that will only be unpacked over years.
-
-
some things shouldn't be consumed
- By Jess on 12-28-22
-
Sh*tty Mom
- The Parenting Guide for the Rest of Us
- By: Karen Moline, Mary Ann Zoellner, Alicia Ybarbo, and others
- Narrated by: Laurie Kilmartin
- Length: 3 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Sh*tty Mom is the ultimate parenting guide, written by four moms who have seen it all. As hilarious as it is universal, each chapter presents a common parenting scenario with advice on how to get through it in the easiest and most efficient way possible. With chapters such as "How to Sleep Until 9 A.M. Every Weekend" and "When Seeing an Infant Triggers a Mental Illness That Makes You Want to Have Another Baby," as well as a Sh*tty Mom quiz, this is a must-have, laugh-out-loud funny audiobook for the sh*tty parent in all of us.
-
-
Would not recommend this book to anyone
- By Anonymous User on 09-14-18
By: Karen Moline, and others
-
To Have and to Hold
- Motherhood, Marriage, and the Modern Dilemma
- By: Molly Millwood
- Narrated by: Molly Millwood
- Length: 9 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A clinical psychologist’s exploration of the modern dilemmas women face in the wake of new motherhood. When Molly Millwood became a mother, she was fully prepared for what she would gain: an adorable baby boy; hard-won mothering skills; and a messy, chaotic, beautiful life. But what she did not expect was what she would lose: aspects of her identity, a baseline level of happiness, a general sense of well-being.
-
-
Pretty good
- By C Sandell on 03-07-21
By: Molly Millwood
-
How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids
- By: Jancee Dunn
- Narrated by: Jancee Dunn
- Length: 7 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A hilariously candid account of one woman's quest to bring her post-baby marriage back from the brink, with life-changing, real-world advice.
-
-
Not quite what I was hoping for.
- By Oldschoolreasons on 04-25-19
By: Jancee Dunn
-
Everybody Fights
- So Why Not Get Better at It?
- By: Kim Holderness, Penn Holderness
- Narrated by: Kim Holderness, Penn Holderness
- Length: 6 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
For the last several years, Penn and Kim Holderness of The Holderness Family have done the hard maintenance and the research to learn how to fight better. With the help of their marriage coach Dr. Christopher Edmonston, they break down their biggest (and in some cases, funniest) fights. How did a question about chicken wings turn into a bra fight (no, not a bar fight; a bra fight)? How did a roll of toilet paper lead to tears, resentment, and a stint in the guest bedroom?
-
-
if I had known...
- By Corrales Reader on 04-09-21
By: Kim Holderness, and others
-
I'll Show Myself Out
- Essays on Midlife and Motherhood
- By: Jessi Klein
- Narrated by: Jessi Klein
- Length: 6 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
An instant New York Times bestseller, I'll Show Myself Out is the eagerly anticipated second essay collection from Jessi Klein, author of the acclaimed debut You’ll Grow Out of It.
-
-
Complete sanctimommy navel gaze
- By NJVJ on 05-05-22
By: Jessi Klein
-
Midlife Bites
- Anyone Else Falling Apart, or Is It Just Me?
- By: Jen Mann
- Narrated by: Jen Mann
- Length: 7 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A smart, personal, darkly funny examination of what it’s like to be a woman at the crossroads of a midlife crisis, from the New York Times best-selling author of People I Want to Punch in the Throat.
-
-
Leave Your Political Views Out of Your Books
- By JFP on 06-05-23
By: Jen Mann
-
Ask Me What's for Dinner One More Time
- Inappropriate Thoughts on Motherhood
- By: Meredith Masony
- Narrated by: Meredith Masony
- Length: 6 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
From the founder of That’s Inappropriate - one of the most popular parenting blogs on the web - comes a hilarious, genuine, and relatable essay collection on the ups and downs of motherhood. Now, Meredith shares her collection of witty essays on the universal frustrations of being a mom in today’s world, presenting her laugh-out-loud perspective on sex, aging, anxiety, friendship, and much more.
-
-
Having Trouble Getting Over the F*** Word
- By Maria Wilson on 09-11-20
By: Meredith Masony
-
The State of Affairs
- Rethinking Infidelity
- By: Esther Perel
- Narrated by: Esther Perel
- Length: 11 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
An affair: It can rob a couple of their relationship, their happiness, their very identity. And yet this extremely common human experience is so poorly understood. Adultery has existed since marriage was invented, and so, too, the prohibition against it - in fact it has a tenacity that marriage can only envy. Iconic couples' therapist and best-selling author of Mating in Captivity Esther Perel returns with a groundbreaking and provocative look at infidelity, arguing for a more nuanced and less judgmental conversation about our transgressions.
-
-
A compassionate approach
- By Anonymous User on 10-16-17
By: Esther Perel
-
You Are a F*cking Awesome Mom
- So Embrace the Chaos, Get over the Guilt, and Be True to You
- By: Leslie Anne Bruce
- Narrated by: Leslie Anne Bruce
- Length: 8 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In You Are a F*cking Awesome Mom, award-winning journalist and Instagram star Leslie Anne Bruce acknowledges that, yes, motherhood is a total mind f*ck—but then she offers the self-empowerment lessons new mothers need to get through the psychic upheaval and emerge stronger than ever. After childbirth, a woman's body, her relationships, and her very sense of self are tested like never before. Bruce encourages listeners to look past the sugarcoated truisms about the miracles of child-rearing in order to embrace the real joys of motherhood, spit-up stains and all.
-
-
Overwhelmed mom caused by absentee husband
- By Margaret Hope Allen on 09-22-20
-
Go the F--k to Sleep
- By: Adam Mansbach, Ricardo Cortes - illustrator
- Narrated by: Samuel L. Jackson
- Length: 6 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Academy Award nominee Samuel L. Jackson ( Pulp Fiction) rocks this mock bedtime story, capturing a hilarious range of emotions as the voice of a father struggling to get his child to sleep. Go the F**k to Sleep is a bedtime book for parents who live in the real world, where a few snoozing kitties and cutesy rhymes don’t always send a toddler sailing blissfully off to dreamland.
-
-
Read the F--king REVIEW!
- By Darwin8u on 05-21-12
By: Adam Mansbach, and others
-
Dad Is Fat
- By: Jim Gaffigan
- Narrated by: Jim Gaffigan
- Length: 5 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In Dad is Fat, stand-up comedian Jim Gaffigan, who’s best known for his legendary riffs on Hot Pockets, bacon, manatees, and McDonald's, expresses all the joys and horrors of life with five young children - everything from cousins ("celebrities for little kids") to toddlers’ communication skills ("they always sound like they have traveled by horseback for hours to deliver important news"), to the eating habits of four-year-olds ("there is no difference between a four-year-old eating a taco and throwing a taco on the floor").
-
-
Good for Gaffigan fans - better for expecting dads
- By Sean on 05-17-13
By: Jim Gaffigan
-
Bossypants
- By: Tina Fey
- Narrated by: Tina Fey
- Length: 5 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Before Liz Lemon, before Weekend Update, before Sarah Palin, Tina Fey was just a young girl with a dream: A recurring stress dream that she was being chased through a local airport by her middle-school gym teacher. She also had a dream that one day she would be a comedian on TV. She has seen both these dreams come true. At last, Tina Fey's story can be told. From her youthful days as a vicious nerd to her tour of duty on Saturday Night Live. Tina Fey reveals all, and proves what we've always suspected: You're no one until someone calls you bossy.
-
-
Tina Fey broke my new SUV
- By Warren on 04-07-11
By: Tina Fey
-
The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo
- By: Amy Schumer
- Narrated by: Amy Schumer
- Length: 8 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo, Amy mines her past for stories about her teenage years, her family, relationships, and sex and shares the experiences that have shaped who she is - a woman with the courage to bare her soul to stand up for what she believes in, all while making us laugh. Down to earth and relatable, frank and unapologetic, Amy Schumer is one of us: She relies on her sister for advice, still hangs out with her high school pals, and continues to navigate the ever-changing boundaries in love, work, and life.
-
-
mind numbing
- By katrina on 09-17-16
By: Amy Schumer
-
Regretting You
- By: Colleen Hoover
- Narrated by: Tanya Eby, Lauren Ezzo
- Length: 11 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Morgan is determined to prevent her daughter from making the same mistakes she did. By getting pregnant and married way too young, Morgan put her own dreams on hold. Clara doesn’t want to follow in her mother’s footsteps. Her predictable mother doesn’t have a spontaneous bone in her body.
-
-
Great book, terrible narration
- By LaurenV2003 on 01-17-20
By: Colleen Hoover
-
This Is How It Always Is
- A Novel
- By: Laurie Frankel
- Narrated by: Gabra Zackman
- Length: 11 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When Rosie and Penn and their four boys welcome the newest member of their family, no one is surprised it's another baby boy. At least their large, loving, chaotic family knows what to expect. But Claude is not like his brothers. One day he puts on a dress and refuses to take it off. He wants to bring a purse to kindergarten. He wants hair long enough to sit on. When he grows up, Claude says, he wants to be a girl.
-
-
Story mirrors our life -- to a point -- spoilers
- By 1mom3kids on 11-14-17
By: Laurie Frankel
-
Sparkly Green Earrings
- Catching the Light at Every Turn
- By: Melanie Shankle
- Narrated by: Melanie Shankle
- Length: 4 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
"There is really no better indicator you're a mother than acquiring the ability to catch throw-up in a plastic bag, disinfect your hands, and immediately ask your friend to pass the beef jerky as you put on another Taylor Swift song and act as if nothing has happened." This is the type of insight Melanie Shankle offers in this quirky memoir of motherhood.
-
-
When I loosen my hold God tightens His.
- By Megan smith on 03-09-24
By: Melanie Shankle
Related to this topic
-
#IMomSoHard
- By: Kristin Hensley, Jen Smedley
- Narrated by: Kristin Hensley, Jen Smedley
- Length: 7 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In their highly anticipated first audiobook, the hilarious mom duo with millions of followers explores all the ridiculous shit you’re expected to do to keep multiple humans alive and happy-ish and celebrates the love for the friends who get you through it.
-
-
IRelateSoHard
- By Peekablue on 04-20-19
By: Kristin Hensley, and others
-
Does This Baby Make Me Look Straight?
- Confessions of a Gay Dad
- By: Dan Bucatinsky
- Narrated by: Dan Bucatinsky
- Length: 5 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In 2005, Dan Bucatinsky and his partner, Don Roos, found themselves in an L.A. delivery room, decked out in disposable scrubs from shower cap to booties, to welcome their adopted baby girl - launching their frantic yet memorable adventures into fatherhood. Two and a half years later, the same birth mother - a heroically generous, pack-a-day teen with a passion for Bridezilla marathons and Mountain Dew - delivered a son into the couple’s arms.
-
-
A Parenting Book with Humor and Heart
- By The Reading Date on 02-05-14
By: Dan Bucatinsky
-
I Can Barely Take Care of Myself
- Tales from a Happy Life Without Kids
- By: Jen Kirkman
- Narrated by: Jen Kirkman
- Length: 6 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
"You'll change your mind." That's what everyone says to Jen Kirkman - and countless women like her - when she confesses she doesn't plan to have children. But you know what? It's hard enough to be an adult. You have to dress yourself and pay bills and remember to buy birthday gifts. You have to drive and get annual physicals and tip for good service. Some adults take on the added burden of caring for a tiny human being with no language skills or bladder control.
-
-
Funny. Not fall down laughing funny, but funny
- By david on 05-22-13
By: Jen Kirkman
-
I Heart My Little A-Holes
- A Bunch of Holy-Crap Moments No One Ever Told You About Parenting
- By: Karen Alpert
- Narrated by: Karen Alpert
- Length: 3 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Popular blogger Karen Alpert shares her hysterical take on the many "joys" of parenting - I Heart My Little A-Holes is full of hilarious stories, lists, thoughts and pictures that will make you laugh so hard you'll wish you were wearing a diaper.
-
-
Hilarious
- By Stephanie on 04-29-14
By: Karen Alpert
-
Gummi Bears Should Not Be Organic
- And Other Opinions I Can't Back Up with Facts
- By: Stefanie Wilder-Taylor
- Narrated by: Stefanie Wilder-Taylor
- Length: 4 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In this latest mommy audiobook from the popular blogger, author, and TV personality, Stefanie will share her secrets for achieving a balance in motherhood between being protective and caring and downright bats--t crazy. She'll debunk some of the looniest parenting myths and reinforce others; she'll describe how, through as simple a process as good old trial and error, she's learned to pick and choose what works for her and her family, and tune out the rest.
-
-
You’re A Parent Now...Don't Mess It Up
- By Tim on 04-16-15
-
Sippy Cups Are Not for Chardonnay
- And Other Things I Had to Learn as a New Mom
- By: Stefanie Wilder-Taylor
- Narrated by: Stefanie Wilder-Taylor
- Length: 5 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In busy-mom-friendly short essays, Sippy Cups Are Not for Chardonnay delivers the empathetic straight dirt on parenting, tackling everything from Mommy & Me classes ("Your baby doesn't need to be making friends at three months old - you do! But not with people you'll meet at Mommy & Me") to attachment parenting ("If you're holding your baby 24/7, that's not a baby, that's a tumor").
-
-
Ok, nothing amazing
- By Lklns on 03-14-19
-
#IMomSoHard
- By: Kristin Hensley, Jen Smedley
- Narrated by: Kristin Hensley, Jen Smedley
- Length: 7 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In their highly anticipated first audiobook, the hilarious mom duo with millions of followers explores all the ridiculous shit you’re expected to do to keep multiple humans alive and happy-ish and celebrates the love for the friends who get you through it.
-
-
IRelateSoHard
- By Peekablue on 04-20-19
By: Kristin Hensley, and others
-
Does This Baby Make Me Look Straight?
- Confessions of a Gay Dad
- By: Dan Bucatinsky
- Narrated by: Dan Bucatinsky
- Length: 5 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In 2005, Dan Bucatinsky and his partner, Don Roos, found themselves in an L.A. delivery room, decked out in disposable scrubs from shower cap to booties, to welcome their adopted baby girl - launching their frantic yet memorable adventures into fatherhood. Two and a half years later, the same birth mother - a heroically generous, pack-a-day teen with a passion for Bridezilla marathons and Mountain Dew - delivered a son into the couple’s arms.
-
-
A Parenting Book with Humor and Heart
- By The Reading Date on 02-05-14
By: Dan Bucatinsky
-
I Can Barely Take Care of Myself
- Tales from a Happy Life Without Kids
- By: Jen Kirkman
- Narrated by: Jen Kirkman
- Length: 6 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
"You'll change your mind." That's what everyone says to Jen Kirkman - and countless women like her - when she confesses she doesn't plan to have children. But you know what? It's hard enough to be an adult. You have to dress yourself and pay bills and remember to buy birthday gifts. You have to drive and get annual physicals and tip for good service. Some adults take on the added burden of caring for a tiny human being with no language skills or bladder control.
-
-
Funny. Not fall down laughing funny, but funny
- By david on 05-22-13
By: Jen Kirkman
-
I Heart My Little A-Holes
- A Bunch of Holy-Crap Moments No One Ever Told You About Parenting
- By: Karen Alpert
- Narrated by: Karen Alpert
- Length: 3 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Popular blogger Karen Alpert shares her hysterical take on the many "joys" of parenting - I Heart My Little A-Holes is full of hilarious stories, lists, thoughts and pictures that will make you laugh so hard you'll wish you were wearing a diaper.
-
-
Hilarious
- By Stephanie on 04-29-14
By: Karen Alpert
-
Gummi Bears Should Not Be Organic
- And Other Opinions I Can't Back Up with Facts
- By: Stefanie Wilder-Taylor
- Narrated by: Stefanie Wilder-Taylor
- Length: 4 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In this latest mommy audiobook from the popular blogger, author, and TV personality, Stefanie will share her secrets for achieving a balance in motherhood between being protective and caring and downright bats--t crazy. She'll debunk some of the looniest parenting myths and reinforce others; she'll describe how, through as simple a process as good old trial and error, she's learned to pick and choose what works for her and her family, and tune out the rest.
-
-
You’re A Parent Now...Don't Mess It Up
- By Tim on 04-16-15
-
Sippy Cups Are Not for Chardonnay
- And Other Things I Had to Learn as a New Mom
- By: Stefanie Wilder-Taylor
- Narrated by: Stefanie Wilder-Taylor
- Length: 5 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In busy-mom-friendly short essays, Sippy Cups Are Not for Chardonnay delivers the empathetic straight dirt on parenting, tackling everything from Mommy & Me classes ("Your baby doesn't need to be making friends at three months old - you do! But not with people you'll meet at Mommy & Me") to attachment parenting ("If you're holding your baby 24/7, that's not a baby, that's a tumor").
-
-
Ok, nothing amazing
- By Lklns on 03-14-19
-
Don't Lick the Minivan
- And Other Things I Never Thought I'd Say to My Kids
- By: Leanne Shirtliffe
- Narrated by: Trudie Kessler
- Length: 7 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
As a woman used to traveling and living the high life in Bangkok, Leanne Shirtliffe recognized the constant fodder for humor while pregnant with twins in Asia's sin city. But in spite of deep-fried bug cuisine and nurses who cover newborn bassinets with plastic wrap, Shirtliffe manages to keep her babies alive for a year with help from a Coca-Cola deliveryman, several waitresses, and a bra factory. Then she and her husband return home to the isolation of North American suburbia.
-
-
I Guess You Had to Be There?
- By Sara on 09-08-14
-
Everything Is Awful
- And Other Observations
- By: Matt Bellassai
- Narrated by: Matt Bellassai
- Length: 6 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
From the break-out star of BuzzFeed and the People's Choice Award-winning comedian comes a collection of hilariously anguished essays chronicling awful moments from his life so far, the humiliations of being an adult, and other little indignities. Matt Bellassai has no idea what he's doing. Well, to be fair, he did become semi-Internet famous by getting drunk at work, making him a socially-acceptable - nay - professional alcoholic. He's got some things figured out. But the rest is all just a terrible, disgusting mess.
-
-
Best Audio Book I’ve heard ever.
- By M on 11-23-17
By: Matt Bellassai
-
My Inappropriate Life
- Some Material Not Suitable for Small Children, Nuns, or Mature Adults
- By: Heather McDonald
- Narrated by: Heather McDonald
- Length: 5 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In her hilarious New York Times best seller You’ll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again, Heather McDonald recounted her adventures as an unwilling virgin in Hollywood. Now happily married with three wonderful kids, she shows that life as a grown-up - even a pretend grown-up - has its challenges. Heather’s a working mom with parents who live next door, a sister who keeps asking for one of her still-fertile eggs, and friends who are up to more hijinks than even Heather can handle.
-
-
Irritating
- By TrishS on 04-23-13
By: Heather McDonald
-
My Foot Is Too Big for the Glass Slipper
- A Guide to the Less Than Perfect Life
- By: Gabrielle Reece, Karen Karbo
- Narrated by: Gabrielle Reece, Karen Karbo
- Length: 4 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Much has happened to Gabrielle Reece since her 1997 best seller Big Girl in the Middle. She’s still gorgeous, still 6’3”, and a dominant force on and off the beach, but in the last 15 years, she’s settled down with world-class surfer Laird Hamilton and raised three stunning blonde girls. Her life might seem like a fairy tale from afar, but four years after her picture-perfect Hawaiian marriage to Laird, Gabrielle filed for divorce. In the end, the couple worked it out, but My Foot Is Too Big for the Glass Slipper tells the unvarnished and often hilarious tale of the turbulent ups and downs that beset every wife and mother - even the women like Gabrielle who seem to have it all.
-
-
Much more relevant than I imagined
- By Bookish420 on 04-24-13
By: Gabrielle Reece, and others
-
People I Want to Punch in the Throat
- Competitive Crafters, Drop-Off Despots, and Other Suburban Scourges
- By: Jen Mann
- Narrated by: Jen Mann
- Length: 5 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Jen Mann doesn't have a filter, which sometimes gets her in trouble with her neighbors, fellow PTA moms, and that one woman who tried to sell her sex toys at a home shopping party. Known for her hilariously acerbic observations on her blog, People I Want to Punch in the Throat, Mann now brings her sharp wit to bear on suburban life, marriage, and motherhood in this laugh-out-loud collection of essays. From the politics of joining a play group, to the thrill of moms' night out at the gun range, to the rewards of your most meaningful relationship, nothing's sacred or off-limits.
-
-
Boring, not funny, and kind of mean
- By Jess on 11-22-19
By: Jen Mann
-
Everything You Ever Wanted
- A Memoir
- By: Jillian Lauren
- Narrated by: Jillian Lauren
- Length: 8 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In her younger years, Jillian Lauren was a college dropout, a drug addict, and an international concubine in the Prince of Brunei's harem, an experience she immortalized in her best-selling memoir, Some Girls. In her 30s, Jillian's most radical act is learning the steadying power of love when she and her rock star husband adopt an Ethiopian child with special needs.
-
-
Great for adoptive families
- By berry bomb on 07-06-22
By: Jillian Lauren
-
I Just Want You to Know
- Letters to My Kids on Love, Faith, and Family
- By: Kate Gosselin
- Narrated by: Kate Gosselin
- Length: 3 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In I Just Want You to Know, New York Times best-selling author Kate Gosselin continues her story of faith and family, picking up where her first book, Multiple Blessings, ended. Using excerpts and written prayers from her actual journal, Kate offers an intimate look at the heart of a mother during the three years her family transitioned from obscurity into television fame.
-
-
This was a good book
- By lisa m schumann on 01-03-22
By: Kate Gosselin
-
Instant Mom
- By: Nia Vardalos
- Narrated by: Nia Vardalos
- Length: 7 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Some families are created in different ways but are still, in every way, a family. Writer and star of My Big Fat Greek Wedding Nia Vardalos firmly believed she was supposed to be a mom, but Mother Nature and modern medicine had put her in a headlock. So she made a choice that shocked friends, family, and even herself: with only 14 hours' notice, she adopted a preschooler.
-
-
Witty and Heartfelt
- By Beth M. Honeycutt on 07-03-24
By: Nia Vardalos
-
Fat Girl Walking
- Sex, Food, Love, and Being Comfortable in Your Skin...Every Inch of It
- By: Brittany Gibbons
- Narrated by: Lauren Fortgang
- Length: 6 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Fat Girl Walking is a collection of stories from my life, my thoughts about the issues that I have faced as a woman, wife, mom, daughter, daughter-in-law, and Internet personality in regards to my weight. I have tried to be as honest as I possibly could - apologies in advance to my husband and parents, but hopefully any discomfort you feel is quickly replaced by laughter.
-
-
One Woman's Body; One Woman's Story
- By Meghan Matt on 06-03-15
By: Brittany Gibbons
-
Miss Fortune
- Fresh Perspectives on Having It All from Someone Who Is Not Okay
- By: Lauren Weedman
- Narrated by: Lauren Weedman
- Length: 8 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Lauren Weedman is not okay. She's living what should be the good life in sunny Los Angeles. After a gig as a correspondent with The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, she scored parts in blockbuster movies, which led to memorable recurring roles on HBO's Hung and Looking. She had a loving husband and an adorable baby boy. In these comedic essays, she turns a piercingly observant, darkly funny lens on the ways her life is actually not okay.
-
-
Good
- By Ajules29 on 04-02-16
By: Lauren Weedman
-
Spelling It Like It Is
- By: Tori Spelling
- Narrated by: Tori Spelling
- Length: 6 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Tori Spelling is the first to admit that the "reality" behind her popular television show, Tori & Dean, isn't always real. Not even Star magazine could invent the true chaos that happens behind the scenes. Luckily, Tori is famously honest and self-deprecatingly funny when it comes to her personal life - she's always "Spelling it like it is". Tori here shares her stories, her biggest challenges, and more with the usual humor, candor, and down-to-earth charm that her fans love.
-
-
I Spell Opportunist: T O R I S P E L L I N G
- By Hilary on 07-22-14
By: Tori Spelling
-
Why I Hate Green Beans
- And Other Confessions About Relationships, Reality TV, and How We See Ourselves
- By: Lincee Ray
- Narrated by: Lincee Ray
- Length: 4 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
If there is one thing Lincee Ray has learned over the years, it's that the majority of women on the planet struggle with insecurities. Our skinny jeans mock us. Our just-trying-to-help mothers are just driving us crazy. Our social media feeds taunt us with everyone else's picture-perfect lives. It's enough to send you on a gummy-bear bender while binge-watching Friends reruns and not showering for a week. Lincee knows. She's been there. Right there, in fact. Gummy bears and all.
-
-
Perfect in every way!
- By Anonymous User on 10-19-22
By: Lincee Ray
What listeners say about Confessions of a Scary Mommy
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Fede
- 02-27-20
Awesome awesome awesome
Gave birth 4 weeks ago this book was just what I needed !!!
A real picture of being a real mom, real stories that made me feel not alone!
I wish it was endless!!!
Going to check other books from the author!!!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- penelope
- 08-06-12
how can you not love it?
What did you love best about Confessions of a Scary Mommy?
Irreverent, honest, funny, touching - the stories of all the ups and downs of motherhood.. and for an adoptive parent in the "waiting" stage, this gives me solace. It is confirmed that all my worst fears are true, BUT I am not the only one that thinks this way. What if I try for so long to become a mom and day after day, I will hate it? Looks like I will and I will also love it! These women's stories crack me up and help me pass the interminable wait with a smile.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
3 people found this helpful
-
Overall
- Todaisy
- 06-12-16
Great and Honest Book!
What a great feeling to know that you aren't the only one going through and feeling certain things! Love the honesty in this book!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- kisa
- 04-23-13
Cracked Me Up!
Would you listen to Confessions of a Scary Mommy again? Why?
This book was great, it made me feel much better knowing that there are so many moms (or maybe all moms) that are so much like me in my struggles to be a good mom, keep a sense of self and juggle everything else life throws at us.
Caution: Do not listen to this while you're in the car with your kids ;)
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
16 people found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Kim
- 07-19-16
A few laughs, but not recommended
While I did enjoy a few laughs, it really isn't a book I would recommend. I think what I enjoy about laughing with other moms about the craziness of parenthood is following that up with some form of encouragement and edification. This book is missing the positive spin; it is for those who love sarcasm and aren't easily offended by the F bomb.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
1 person found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Ann
- 06-09-16
LOL
This book made me laugh, made me cry, made me cringe, and most importantly, made me happy to know I'm not alone as "a bad mommy". Thank you for sharing your mom life with the world!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Elizabeth
- 05-31-15
Outstanding!
As a mom, I have days that I feel sub-par. I have days where I feel like everything I do is wrong, and that I'm the worst mother in the world. As I listened to this audiobook, I realized that there are so many women who feel the same way I do. Mrs. Jill Smokler is a genius! I laughed, I cried, and I learned to not be so hard on myself. Two thumbs WAY up!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
7 people found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Djvs
- 05-16-16
Frustrated
I admit I'm not a stay-at-home mom. So maybe I'm not getting the full parenting experience. I do, however, I have a one-year-old, and I thought this book would be funny. What I found is that it celebrates and blissfully condones not only bad parenting, but also bad spousing. I mean, I'm not a perfect parent---I let my 1 year old eat 3 whole Barbados cherries yesterday (with 3 spiney pits each) and didn't tell the babysitter that it might hurt to poop today---but I don't take pride in my oversight and knowing others have done the same or worse doesn't make me feel better about it. I've already promised myself I won't do it again. I strive to be a better parent and spouse. I think it's the tone of the book that irritates me, not the content because I recognize no parent is perfect. Bad parenting is not ok---it happens--as parents we all have our oblivious and knowingly devious moments--but let's not write a book, grow complacent, and act like this is acceptable.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
3 people found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Scuba Girl
- 12-10-14
Wonderful humorous look at real-life parenting
What made the experience of listening to Confessions of a Scary Mommy the most enjoyable?
This book includes many real-life accounts of parenting. As a mother of a 4 and 6 year old, I can totally relate. I especially loved the real mom confessions at the beginning of each chapter. They were hilarious and made me feel much better about my parenting skills!
What other book might you compare Confessions of a Scary Mommy to and why?
I know there are several other similar books out there, but I have not read any of those. This book is like reading a blog, which makes sense because it is based on her blog.
Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?
No. I enjoyed listening to this here and there- while walking the dog, while in the car going to pick up the kids, etc. It is broken up into chapters that can easily be listened to separately. I enjoyed having brief comic relief sprinkled through my week while listening to this.
Any additional comments?
This is a great book for any mom, but especially for a new mom. I think we mothers expect to be perfect (or at least really good) at being a mom and that's not possible. This book exposes the truth- that we are all just getting by doing the best we can and taking shortcuts when necessary. This should ease the mommy guilt of any reader and allows all of us to look at the trials of parenthood through the lens of comedy. It certainly helped me to relax and lighten up with my own children!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
1 person found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Jana
- 05-07-15
Best Parenting Book EVER!!!!!
While being pregnant as I hit the last few weeks of my pregnancy I started to worry about things like still loving my puppy, how my body would survive labor, how I would survive motherhood, I decided to read Scary Mommy after seeing someone post the Scary Mommy Manifesto on FB. This book has made me feel SO MUCH BETTER!!!! It's nice to know that other women out there felt/feel the same way I do. I didn't feel like I could talk to my friends or family with the way I was feeling I didn't think they would understand, but this book pretty much hit all of the anxieties and fears I had, made me laugh, and definitely made me feel like I would survive all the things motherhood would bring! I would recommend this to ANYONE who is pregnant, and as a laugh to any mommy out there. If you are gonna get something for the momma to be in addition to baby stuff for a baby shower GET THEM SCARY MOMMY, and don't forget to pick up a copy for yourself.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
4 people found this helpful