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Confessions of a Scary Mommy
- An Honest and Irreverent Look at Motherhood - The Good, The Bad, and the Scary
- Narrated by: Jill Smokler
- Length: 4 hrs and 4 mins
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Publisher's summary
Sometimes I just let my children fall asleep in front of the TV.
In a culture that idealizes motherhood, it’s scary to confess that, in your house, being a mother is beautiful and dirty and joyful and frustrating all at once. Admitting that it’s not easy doesn’t make you a bad mom; at least, it shouldn’t.
If I can’t survive my daughter as a toddler, how the hell am I going to get through the teenage years?
When Jill Smokler was first home with her small children, she thought her blog would be something to keep friends and family updated. To her surprise, she hit a chord in the hearts of mothers everywhere.
I end up doing my son’s homework. It’s wrong, but so much easier.
Total strangers were contributing their views on that strange reality called motherhood. As other women shared their stories, Jill realized she wasn’t alone in her feelings of exhaustion and imperfection.
My eighteen month old still can’t say “Mommy” but used the word “shit” in perfect context.
But she sensed her readers were still holding back, so decided to start an anonymous confessional, a place where real moms could leave their most honest thoughts without fearing condemnation.
I pretend to be happy but I cry every night in the shower.
The reactions were amazing: some sad, some pee-in-your-pants funny, some brutally honest. But they were real, not a commercial glamorization.
I clock out of motherhood at 8 P.M. and hide in the basement with my laptop and a beer.
If you’re already a fan, lock the bathroom door on your whining kids, run a bubble bath, and settle in. If you’ve not encountered Scary Mommy before, break out a glass of champagne as well, because you’ll be toasting your initiation into a select club.
I know why some animals eat their young.
In chapters that cover husbands ("The Biggest Baby of Them All") to homework ("Didn’t I Already Graduate?"), Confessions of a Scary Mommy combines all-new essays from Jill with the best of the anonymous confessions.
Sometimes I wish my son was still little - then I hear kids screaming at the store.
As Jill says, “We like to paint motherhood as picture perfect. A newborn peacefully resting on his mother’s chest. A toddler taking tentative first steps into his mother’s loving arms. A mother fluffing her daughter’s prom dress. These moments are indeed miraculous and joyful; they can also be few and far between.”
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As a woman used to traveling and living the high life in Bangkok, Leanne Shirtliffe recognized the constant fodder for humor while pregnant with twins in Asia's sin city. But in spite of deep-fried bug cuisine and nurses who cover newborn bassinets with plastic wrap, Shirtliffe manages to keep her babies alive for a year with help from a Coca-Cola deliveryman, several waitresses, and a bra factory. Then she and her husband return home to the isolation of North American suburbia.
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I Guess You Had to Be There?
- By Sara on 09-08-14
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Everything Is Awful
- And Other Observations
- By: Matt Bellassai
- Narrated by: Matt Bellassai
- Length: 6 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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From the break-out star of BuzzFeed and the People's Choice Award-winning comedian comes a collection of hilariously anguished essays chronicling awful moments from his life so far, the humiliations of being an adult, and other little indignities. Matt Bellassai has no idea what he's doing. Well, to be fair, he did become semi-Internet famous by getting drunk at work, making him a socially-acceptable - nay - professional alcoholic. He's got some things figured out. But the rest is all just a terrible, disgusting mess.
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Best Audio Book I’ve heard ever.
- By M on 11-23-17
By: Matt Bellassai
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My Inappropriate Life
- Some Material Not Suitable for Small Children, Nuns, or Mature Adults
- By: Heather McDonald
- Narrated by: Heather McDonald
- Length: 5 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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In her hilarious New York Times best seller You’ll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again, Heather McDonald recounted her adventures as an unwilling virgin in Hollywood. Now happily married with three wonderful kids, she shows that life as a grown-up - even a pretend grown-up - has its challenges. Heather’s a working mom with parents who live next door, a sister who keeps asking for one of her still-fertile eggs, and friends who are up to more hijinks than even Heather can handle.
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Irritating
- By TrishS on 04-23-13
By: Heather McDonald
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My Foot Is Too Big for the Glass Slipper
- A Guide to the Less Than Perfect Life
- By: Gabrielle Reece, Karen Karbo
- Narrated by: Gabrielle Reece, Karen Karbo
- Length: 4 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Much has happened to Gabrielle Reece since her 1997 best seller Big Girl in the Middle. She’s still gorgeous, still 6’3”, and a dominant force on and off the beach, but in the last 15 years, she’s settled down with world-class surfer Laird Hamilton and raised three stunning blonde girls. Her life might seem like a fairy tale from afar, but four years after her picture-perfect Hawaiian marriage to Laird, Gabrielle filed for divorce. In the end, the couple worked it out, but My Foot Is Too Big for the Glass Slipper tells the unvarnished and often hilarious tale of the turbulent ups and downs that beset every wife and mother - even the women like Gabrielle who seem to have it all.
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Much more relevant than I imagined
- By Bookish420 on 04-24-13
By: Gabrielle Reece, and others
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People I Want to Punch in the Throat
- Competitive Crafters, Drop-Off Despots, and Other Suburban Scourges
- By: Jen Mann
- Narrated by: Jen Mann
- Length: 5 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Jen Mann doesn't have a filter, which sometimes gets her in trouble with her neighbors, fellow PTA moms, and that one woman who tried to sell her sex toys at a home shopping party. Known for her hilariously acerbic observations on her blog, People I Want to Punch in the Throat, Mann now brings her sharp wit to bear on suburban life, marriage, and motherhood in this laugh-out-loud collection of essays. From the politics of joining a play group, to the thrill of moms' night out at the gun range, to the rewards of your most meaningful relationship, nothing's sacred or off-limits.
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Boring, not funny, and kind of mean
- By Jess on 11-22-19
By: Jen Mann
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Everything You Ever Wanted
- A Memoir
- By: Jillian Lauren
- Narrated by: Jillian Lauren
- Length: 8 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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In her younger years, Jillian Lauren was a college dropout, a drug addict, and an international concubine in the Prince of Brunei's harem, an experience she immortalized in her best-selling memoir, Some Girls. In her 30s, Jillian's most radical act is learning the steadying power of love when she and her rock star husband adopt an Ethiopian child with special needs.
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Great for adoptive families
- By berry bomb on 07-06-22
By: Jillian Lauren
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I Just Want You to Know
- Letters to My Kids on Love, Faith, and Family
- By: Kate Gosselin
- Narrated by: Kate Gosselin
- Length: 3 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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In I Just Want You to Know, New York Times best-selling author Kate Gosselin continues her story of faith and family, picking up where her first book, Multiple Blessings, ended. Using excerpts and written prayers from her actual journal, Kate offers an intimate look at the heart of a mother during the three years her family transitioned from obscurity into television fame.
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This was a good book
- By lisa m schumann on 01-03-22
By: Kate Gosselin
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Instant Mom
- By: Nia Vardalos
- Narrated by: Nia Vardalos
- Length: 7 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Some families are created in different ways but are still, in every way, a family. Writer and star of My Big Fat Greek Wedding Nia Vardalos firmly believed she was supposed to be a mom, but Mother Nature and modern medicine had put her in a headlock. So she made a choice that shocked friends, family, and even herself: with only 14 hours' notice, she adopted a preschooler.
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Witty and Heartfelt
- By Beth M. Honeycutt on 07-03-24
By: Nia Vardalos
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Fat Girl Walking
- Sex, Food, Love, and Being Comfortable in Your Skin...Every Inch of It
- By: Brittany Gibbons
- Narrated by: Lauren Fortgang
- Length: 6 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Fat Girl Walking is a collection of stories from my life, my thoughts about the issues that I have faced as a woman, wife, mom, daughter, daughter-in-law, and Internet personality in regards to my weight. I have tried to be as honest as I possibly could - apologies in advance to my husband and parents, but hopefully any discomfort you feel is quickly replaced by laughter.
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One Woman's Body; One Woman's Story
- By Meghan Matt on 06-03-15
By: Brittany Gibbons
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Miss Fortune
- Fresh Perspectives on Having It All from Someone Who Is Not Okay
- By: Lauren Weedman
- Narrated by: Lauren Weedman
- Length: 8 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Lauren Weedman is not okay. She's living what should be the good life in sunny Los Angeles. After a gig as a correspondent with The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, she scored parts in blockbuster movies, which led to memorable recurring roles on HBO's Hung and Looking. She had a loving husband and an adorable baby boy. In these comedic essays, she turns a piercingly observant, darkly funny lens on the ways her life is actually not okay.
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Good
- By Ajules29 on 04-02-16
By: Lauren Weedman
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Spelling It Like It Is
- By: Tori Spelling
- Narrated by: Tori Spelling
- Length: 6 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Tori Spelling is the first to admit that the "reality" behind her popular television show, Tori & Dean, isn't always real. Not even Star magazine could invent the true chaos that happens behind the scenes. Luckily, Tori is famously honest and self-deprecatingly funny when it comes to her personal life - she's always "Spelling it like it is". Tori here shares her stories, her biggest challenges, and more with the usual humor, candor, and down-to-earth charm that her fans love.
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I Spell Opportunist: T O R I S P E L L I N G
- By Hilary on 07-22-14
By: Tori Spelling
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Why I Hate Green Beans
- And Other Confessions About Relationships, Reality TV, and How We See Ourselves
- By: Lincee Ray
- Narrated by: Lincee Ray
- Length: 4 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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If there is one thing Lincee Ray has learned over the years, it's that the majority of women on the planet struggle with insecurities. Our skinny jeans mock us. Our just-trying-to-help mothers are just driving us crazy. Our social media feeds taunt us with everyone else's picture-perfect lives. It's enough to send you on a gummy-bear bender while binge-watching Friends reruns and not showering for a week. Lincee knows. She's been there. Right there, in fact. Gummy bears and all.
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Perfect in every way!
- By Anonymous User on 10-19-22
By: Lincee Ray
What listeners say about Confessions of a Scary Mommy
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Fede
- 02-27-20
Awesome awesome awesome
Gave birth 4 weeks ago this book was just what I needed !!!
A real picture of being a real mom, real stories that made me feel not alone!
I wish it was endless!!!
Going to check other books from the author!!!
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- penelope
- 08-06-12
how can you not love it?
What did you love best about Confessions of a Scary Mommy?
Irreverent, honest, funny, touching - the stories of all the ups and downs of motherhood.. and for an adoptive parent in the "waiting" stage, this gives me solace. It is confirmed that all my worst fears are true, BUT I am not the only one that thinks this way. What if I try for so long to become a mom and day after day, I will hate it? Looks like I will and I will also love it! These women's stories crack me up and help me pass the interminable wait with a smile.
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3 people found this helpful
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- Todaisy
- 06-12-16
Great and Honest Book!
What a great feeling to know that you aren't the only one going through and feeling certain things! Love the honesty in this book!
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- kisa
- 04-23-13
Cracked Me Up!
Would you listen to Confessions of a Scary Mommy again? Why?
This book was great, it made me feel much better knowing that there are so many moms (or maybe all moms) that are so much like me in my struggles to be a good mom, keep a sense of self and juggle everything else life throws at us.
Caution: Do not listen to this while you're in the car with your kids ;)
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16 people found this helpful
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- Kim
- 07-19-16
A few laughs, but not recommended
While I did enjoy a few laughs, it really isn't a book I would recommend. I think what I enjoy about laughing with other moms about the craziness of parenthood is following that up with some form of encouragement and edification. This book is missing the positive spin; it is for those who love sarcasm and aren't easily offended by the F bomb.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Ann
- 06-09-16
LOL
This book made me laugh, made me cry, made me cringe, and most importantly, made me happy to know I'm not alone as "a bad mommy". Thank you for sharing your mom life with the world!
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- Elizabeth
- 05-31-15
Outstanding!
As a mom, I have days that I feel sub-par. I have days where I feel like everything I do is wrong, and that I'm the worst mother in the world. As I listened to this audiobook, I realized that there are so many women who feel the same way I do. Mrs. Jill Smokler is a genius! I laughed, I cried, and I learned to not be so hard on myself. Two thumbs WAY up!
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7 people found this helpful
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- Djvs
- 05-16-16
Frustrated
I admit I'm not a stay-at-home mom. So maybe I'm not getting the full parenting experience. I do, however, I have a one-year-old, and I thought this book would be funny. What I found is that it celebrates and blissfully condones not only bad parenting, but also bad spousing. I mean, I'm not a perfect parent---I let my 1 year old eat 3 whole Barbados cherries yesterday (with 3 spiney pits each) and didn't tell the babysitter that it might hurt to poop today---but I don't take pride in my oversight and knowing others have done the same or worse doesn't make me feel better about it. I've already promised myself I won't do it again. I strive to be a better parent and spouse. I think it's the tone of the book that irritates me, not the content because I recognize no parent is perfect. Bad parenting is not ok---it happens--as parents we all have our oblivious and knowingly devious moments--but let's not write a book, grow complacent, and act like this is acceptable.
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3 people found this helpful
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- Scuba Girl
- 12-10-14
Wonderful humorous look at real-life parenting
What made the experience of listening to Confessions of a Scary Mommy the most enjoyable?
This book includes many real-life accounts of parenting. As a mother of a 4 and 6 year old, I can totally relate. I especially loved the real mom confessions at the beginning of each chapter. They were hilarious and made me feel much better about my parenting skills!
What other book might you compare Confessions of a Scary Mommy to and why?
I know there are several other similar books out there, but I have not read any of those. This book is like reading a blog, which makes sense because it is based on her blog.
Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?
No. I enjoyed listening to this here and there- while walking the dog, while in the car going to pick up the kids, etc. It is broken up into chapters that can easily be listened to separately. I enjoyed having brief comic relief sprinkled through my week while listening to this.
Any additional comments?
This is a great book for any mom, but especially for a new mom. I think we mothers expect to be perfect (or at least really good) at being a mom and that's not possible. This book exposes the truth- that we are all just getting by doing the best we can and taking shortcuts when necessary. This should ease the mommy guilt of any reader and allows all of us to look at the trials of parenthood through the lens of comedy. It certainly helped me to relax and lighten up with my own children!
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1 person found this helpful
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- Jana
- 05-07-15
Best Parenting Book EVER!!!!!
While being pregnant as I hit the last few weeks of my pregnancy I started to worry about things like still loving my puppy, how my body would survive labor, how I would survive motherhood, I decided to read Scary Mommy after seeing someone post the Scary Mommy Manifesto on FB. This book has made me feel SO MUCH BETTER!!!! It's nice to know that other women out there felt/feel the same way I do. I didn't feel like I could talk to my friends or family with the way I was feeling I didn't think they would understand, but this book pretty much hit all of the anxieties and fears I had, made me laugh, and definitely made me feel like I would survive all the things motherhood would bring! I would recommend this to ANYONE who is pregnant, and as a laugh to any mommy out there. If you are gonna get something for the momma to be in addition to baby stuff for a baby shower GET THEM SCARY MOMMY, and don't forget to pick up a copy for yourself.
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4 people found this helpful