Fear Gone Wild
A Story of Mental Illness, Suicide, and Hope Through Loss
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Narrated by:
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Kayla Stoeklein
About this listen
Light in the Darkness. Hope in the Wilderness.
Despite his deep desire to overcome mental illness and lead others out of their own pain, pastor Andrew Stoecklein died by suicide at the age of 30. In the wake of the tragedy, his widow, Kayla, embarked on a journey to better understand Andrew’s harrowing battle, come alongside those with similar struggles, and help the church overcome the stigma of suicide.
Fear Gone Wild is Kayla’s intimate account of all that led to the heartbreaking day of Andrew’s death and the insights she has gleaned since then about the wilderness experience. From her own hard-won understanding, Kayla offers:
- Hope for those facing a mental health diagnosis, wisdom for family and friends, and companionship for anyone who has lost a loved one to suicide
- An exploration of Jesus’ wilderness experience and what it means for our own journeys
- Helpful information about panic attacks, anxiety, depression, and living with fear
- Truth in the face of myths and misconceptions about suicide
- And practical guidance for the church in handling mental health challenges
This heartfelt, hope-filled book equips us to walk alongside someone on their journey with mental illness, offers strength for those of us struggling with depression or anxiety, and turns each of us again and again to the comfort of a God who never leaves.
Discussion questions and additional resources are available in the audiobook companion PDF download.
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
©2020 Kayla Stoecklein (P)2020 Thomas NelsonListeners also enjoyed...
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- A Hope-Filled Anthem for the Woman Who Feels She Is Both Too Much and Never Enough
- By: Hayley Morgan, Jess Connolly
- Narrated by: Amy Melissa Bentley, Rachel Dulude
- Length: 7 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Wild and Free is in equal parts an anthem and an invitation to find freedom from the cultural captivity that holds us back, and freedom to step into the wild and holy call of God in our lives. With fresh biblical insight tracing all the way back to Eve and a treasury of practical application, Jess and Hayley reveal how women today can walk in the true liberty we already have in Jesus.
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Every women needs to read!!
- By Brenda on 04-04-17
By: Hayley Morgan, and others
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When I Lay My Isaac Down
- Unshakable Faith in Unthinkable Circumstances
- By: Carol Kent
- Narrated by: Carol Kent
- Length: 5 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Sometimes we make sacrifices to help us get ahead, to allow us more time with family, or because we believe in the cause. And then there are sacrifices in which we have no say, "Isaac experiences" as in Genesis 22, thrust upon us without warning or survival instructions.
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AWEFUL
- By Sonny on 10-31-05
By: Carol Kent
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Defiant Joy
- By: Stasi Eldredge
- Narrated by: Stasi Eldredge
- Length: 5 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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In her new book, Stasi Eldredge meets listeners in their painful realities and offers an invitation to a joy that is defiant in the face of this broken world. This joy does not Pollyannaish-ly ignore life's heartache; rather, it insists that sorrow and loss do not have the final say. This kind of joy is present to both goodness and grief and interprets them in the light of heaven.
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A Christian Tract
- By Anonymous User on 03-23-20
By: Stasi Eldredge
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When God Doesn't Fix It
- Lessons You Never Wanted to Learn, Truths You Can't Live Without
- By: Laura Story
- Narrated by: Dara Rosenberg
- Length: 9 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Worship leader and recording artist Laura Story's life took an unexpected turn when her husband, Martin, was diagnosed with a brain tumor. Their lives would never be the same. Yes, with God all things are possible. But the devastating news was that no cure existed to restore Martin's short-term memory, eyesight, and other complications. The fairy-tale life Laura had dreamed of was no longer possible. And yet in struggling with God about how to live with broken dreams, Laura has found joy and a deeper intimacy with Jesus.
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Right on the Mark!
- By Susan Belanger on 08-30-17
By: Laura Story
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Pray Big Things
- The Surprising Life God Has for You When You're Bold Enough to Ask
- By: Julia Jeffress Sadler
- Narrated by: Julia Jeffress Sadler
- Length: 4 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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God wants to do more in our lives than we can possibly imagine. So why do we settle for less? Many times, it's because we are afraid to ask. Whether we feel selfish or silly doing so, or we want to let God off the hook in case He doesn't answer, we rarely pray for our deepest desires--not realizing that our desires are often dreams conceived by God that He wants to fulfill. It's time to discover the exciting adventure you were created to live!
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Love It!
- By justjane on 07-07-23
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The Mystery
- Finding True Love in a World of Broken Lovers
- By: Lacey Sturm
- Narrated by: Lacey Sturm
- Length: 6 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Rock princess Lacey Sturm wants to share her journey from heartbreak to wholeness with young women. In The Mystery, Sturm helps listeners understand that any loving relationship begins with knowing your own identity in Christ. And yet, so many people have learned to define love through their own dysfunctional family, unhealthy relationships, the romances and wrecked relationships of mainstream pop culture, or, sadly, through pornography. Is it any wonder so many people end up brokenhearted, divorced, abused, abusive, or even suicidal?
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Wow! Incredibly moving.
- By Mae on 12-30-19
By: Lacey Sturm
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Unreasonable Hope
- Finding Faith in the God Who Brings Purpose to Your Pain
- By: Chad Veach
- Narrated by: Chad Veach
- Length: 6 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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When things go horribly wrong and the world seems to be unraveling, how do you believe in God's goodness? How do you cling to hope? Chad Veach directs listeners away from clichéd Sunday school answers that fail to offer real comfort or provide faith-building insights. Instead he draws from God's promises in the Bible and from the story of his own daughter's diagnosis of a devastating and debilitating disease to reveal simple, purposeful steps for dealing with pain.
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So Passionate!
- By Trevor Tyson on 09-28-16
By: Chad Veach
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Courage, Dear Heart
- By: Rebecca K. Reynolds
- Narrated by: Rebecca K. Reynolds
- Length: 6 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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Our world is chaotic and often feels dark and devoid of hope. And it’s not just the headlines we see every day. Our relationships are broken. A loved one’s health is failing. We’re disoriented and restless and wrestling with fear. These things are the reality of living in a fallen world. But our God is over that world. He is present in the midst of the daily ache of life. He loves us in the midst of that ache. In a series of 11 letters, Rebecca Reynolds writes to the lonely, the weary, the restless, and afraid and provides perspective and hope to find where God is in the midst of it.
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Words for every heart
- By Adam Morrison on 05-25-23
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Resilient
- Restoring Your Weary Soul in These Turbulent Times
- By: John Eldredge
- Narrated by: John Eldredge
- Length: 6 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Reclaim your joy and thrive through the storms of life when you find your strength in God. The human soul has a built-in yearning for joy and beauty and all good things. But that craving for life is so easily lost in the pace and demands of modern life. Join New York Times bestselling author John Eldredge as he gives you the tools you need to follow Jesus' path of supernatural resilience. Between false promises of ease and comfort on one side and the sheer busyness and stress of daily life on the other, people today are facing a shortage of peace, happiness, and strength.
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Good for my soul
- By Anonymous User on 09-29-22
By: John Eldredge
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More Beautiful Than Before
- How Suffering Transforms Us
- By: Steve Leder
- Narrated by: Steve Leder
- Length: 4 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Every one of us sooner or later walks through hell. The hell of being hurt, the hell of hurting another. The hell of cancer, the hell of a reluctant, thunking shovel full of earth upon the casket of someone we deeply loved, the hell of betrayal, the hell of betraying, the hell of divorce, the hell of a kid in trouble...the hell of knowing that this year, like any year, may be our last. We all walk through hell. The point is not to come out empty-handed.... There is real and profound power in the suffering we endure if we transform that suffering into a more authentic, meaningful life.
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Learning from Pain
- By Dave on 02-20-19
By: Steve Leder
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I Give Up
- The Secret Joy of a Surrendered Life
- By: Laura Story, Leigh McLeroy - contributor
- Narrated by: Jill Blackwood
- Length: 5 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Newlywed Laura Story thought she had control over the great life ahead of her. After all, she followed Jesus and had a promising new job as a worship leader. Why would God not want to fulfill her dreams? But when Laura and her husband, Martin, faced a brain tumor, infertility, and a son’s birth defect, she realized she’d been looking for a happiness that comes from circumstances, rather than a deeper joy that comes from God. Again and again, Laura had to surrender her vision for her life so she could embrace God’s vision.
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1st book was better
- By Scott D. Christiansen on 06-18-20
By: Laura Story, and others
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Standing Strong
- A Woman's Guide to Overcoming Adversity and Living with Confidence
- By: Alli Worthington
- Narrated by: Alli Worthington
- Length: 5 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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We live in a culture that constantly tells you who you should be as a modern woman. You're told that you aren't enough and that you don't have what it takes to chase your dreams. But it doesn't have to be that way. For the woman who longs to break free from what holds her back, Standing Strong offers a no-nonsense, guilt-free guide to take back your life from self-doubt.
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Honest work of art!
- By Paige Prevatt on 04-30-24
By: Alli Worthington
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You Are More Than You Know
- Face Your Fears, Grow Stronger
- By: Patsy Clairmont
- Narrated by: Patsy Clairmont
- Length: 3 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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In You Are More Than You Know, Patsy's trademark humor spills out as she answers the question she is most often asked: How did you overcome your own debilitating fears? Along the way she helps listeners face their own anxieties, dismay, worries, and despair. Through honest and intimate glimpses into a heart changed by the power of hope, this audiobook is a guide for the journey to find more of you...and much more of what God has for you.
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Fantastic
- By D. Boetscher on 06-15-18
By: Patsy Clairmont
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Total obedience to Christ can transform an ordinary life into a remarkable journey. This is the hope found in the liberating message of Lysa TerKeurst - president of Proverbs 31 Ministries. In What Happens When Women Say Yes to God, Lysa shares inspiring stories from her own life along with compelling biblical insights as she describes what it means to partner with God in all decisions and actions. Readers will learn to: discern the voice of God and truly say yes to His call see what wholehearted obedience looks like on a daily basis give themselves to God and let Him affect lives around them.
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The reality is we were made to crave. Craving isn’t a bad thing. But we must realize God created us to crave more of him. Many of us have misplaced that craving by overindulging in physical pleasures instead of lasting spiritual satisfaction. New York Times best-selling author of It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way, Uninvited, and The Best Yes, Lysa TerKeurst, invites you to find the missing link between a woman’s desire to be healthy and the spiritual empowerment necessary to make that happen.
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Really good book, TERRIBLE NARRATOR
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When a state trooper appeared at Rachel Zimmerman’s door to report that her husband had jumped to his death off a nearby bridge, she fell to her knees, unable to fully absorb the news. How could the man she’d married, a devoted father and robotics professor at MIT, have committed such a violent act? How would she explain this to her young daughters? And could she have stopped him? A longtime journalist, she probed obsessively, believing answers would help her survive. She interviewed doctors, suicide researchers, and a man who jumped off the same bridge and lived.
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Beautiful memoir of grief and life
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Throughout Surviving My Husband's Suicide, you will find advice on grieving, tips on how to process your pain, awareness of mental health and its impact on family, and how to heal after losing a loved one to suicide. You can find comfort in this book, knowing you are not alone. From the smashing of your hopes and dreams to the transformation of a new you. There is light in the days to come following this life-changing moment.
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The pain of suicide loss is indescribable. It seems beyond survival. Yet with faith, perseverance, and the tools of brain science, there is a way through. It will take time. It will take struggle. But hope is real, for there are things you can do to make it to the other side. If you are struggling with suicide loss or you need to come alongside someone who is, Rita Schulte wants to help you move forward.
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not helpful
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Best Book by Lyra Terkeurst that I've read!
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The reality is we were made to crave. Craving isn’t a bad thing. But we must realize God created us to crave more of him. Many of us have misplaced that craving by overindulging in physical pleasures instead of lasting spiritual satisfaction. New York Times best-selling author of It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way, Uninvited, and The Best Yes, Lysa TerKeurst, invites you to find the missing link between a woman’s desire to be healthy and the spiritual empowerment necessary to make that happen.
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Really good book, TERRIBLE NARRATOR
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Unglued
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Do you ever feel like your emotions are working against you? Though we may find ourselves stuffing down emotions, exploding with emotions, or reacting somewhere in between, Lysa TerKeurst assures us it’s possible to make our emotions work for us. Lysa admits that she, like most women, has had experiences where others bump into her happy and she comes emotionally unglued.
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Not for Me
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Women's lives are more hectic today than ever; the demands of child-rearing, work, ministry, and marriage can drain women of energy and enthusiasm. What they need is order; they need a plan for prioritizing what's important and sticking to it. Lysa TerKeurst has created Living Life on Purpose to answer this obvious need. It is a Bible study that helps women design a life plan based on seven main principles of the Proverbs 31 woman.
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Wonderful Book to Help Guide a Life Plan
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By: Lysa TerKeurst
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Twelve Women of the Bible: Audio Bible Studies
- Life-Changing Stories for Women Today
- By: Lysa TerKeurst, Elisa Morgan, Amena Brown, and others
- Narrated by: Lysa TerKeurst, full cast
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In this Audio Bible Study, Twelve Women of the Bible, Lysa TerKuerst, Elisa Morgan, Jeanne Stevens, and others look at the spiritual lessons learned from 12 biblical women and their implications in life today.
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I thought the audio was good.
- By Cynthia on 03-18-21
By: Lysa TerKeurst, and others
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Clear Mind, Peaceful Heart
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- Unabridged
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What lies heaviest on your heart as you lay your head on your pillow? Are paralyzing fear and anxiety stealing tomorrow's peace? Listen to this invitation from Jesus: "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest" (Matthew 11:28 NIV). Experiencing this kind of rest won't come from escapism, more vacation days, or stuffing our feelings. Jesus Himself provides rest to our weary souls. While He may not always fix everything right away, we can fix our thoughts on His Word.
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Daily Encouragement
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Far from Ordinary
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If you have a desire deep inside your heart to be sold out to the Lord and do amazing things for Him, you are not alone. Lysa TerKeurst and her daughter Hope have felt that passion too, and they've learned that only God can satisfy the craving to go beyond just making it through the day. Why? Because God is the one who created that need inside of you and He's using it to draw you closer to Him!
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Great book about how to Say Yes to God!
- By Ciara Gonzalez on 01-04-23
By: Lysa TerKeurst, and others
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Seeing Beautiful Again
- 50 Devotions to Find Redemption in Every Part of Your Story
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In the middle of the pain you didn't cause, the change you didn't want, the reality you didn't know was coming...your life can still be beautiful. We all have stories full of sorrow and celebration. But with God, there's always more going on than what we see. New York Times best-selling author Lysa TerKeurst encourages you to hope again through 50 devotions that will help you find redemption in every part of your story.
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One of the best devotionals
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What listeners say about Fear Gone Wild
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Maditat22
- 09-11-20
EXCELLENT! A beautiful book of tragedy and redemption, with invaluable lessons
Such an intimate and tragic story told with a perfect balance of raw honesty and grace, all while putting everything in perspective of how tragedy and life fit into the overall ecos of humanity. The style is heartfelt writing while also insightful and informative. This book is perfect and of inmensurable value for anyone dealing with depression and suicidal thoughts, those with loved ones or friends growing through depression and struggles, and simply anyone wanting insight on how mental illness, loss, hope and faith can all work together.
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- Shasta C Garcia
- 09-16-20
kind
incredible, well written from a compassionate and honest point of view. its a breath of fresh air to see someone so vulnerable and open to sharing the tragedy they lived then to pull you in with integrity, kindness and a raw emotional devotion to God. your heart will break along the story.
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- Mom of 2
- 10-05-20
A jewel in the mist of Pain
Thank you Kayla for writing this book, I don’t know you but now I do, thank you for being a voice to so many.
I’m so sorry for your loss.
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- Amanda Hunter
- 09-21-20
Will bring tears to your eyes, truly eye-opening, definitely a must-read!
I have followed her story from the beginning but got an in-depth look into her and Andrew’s life. If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health, this is a great read for guidance. She is so raw and transparent, I love it. It is also a great read for those struggling with grief. Highly recommend this book!
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- Wendy Kowalski
- 12-01-20
Must read!!!
Although this is a sad story, it is so uplifting to read about how Kayla desires to bring glory to the name of the Lord through her actions! I would Recommend this book to anyone!
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- Colette Mora
- 07-09-21
heartfelt
I loved her honesty about her feelings going through the years with her Andrew. What a brutally honest example of mental illness and depression.
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- Jennifer
- 09-15-20
An incredible book
For those who are struggling with mental illness, for those who’ve lost someone or anyone who would like some insight as to how to see beautiful on the other side of a dark time. It’s a very good read. And so well written. I highly recommend for everyone to read this book.
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- Eileena L
- 01-01-23
Incredible book
Kayla is incredible and so full of the Holy Spirit! She has a beautiful way of writing and I’m so grateful she read her own audiobook! Thank you Kayla for sharing yours and Andrew’s story and reminding us that GODS GOT THIS!
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- Natjo
- 02-04-23
Be prepared to cry
I was crying 5 minutes in. This hit very close to home. I did not lose my husband but I lost my ex husband, best friend and father of my child to suicide 7 months ago. I am a new believer and follower of Christ so it was extremely touching to hear this story from a woman of faith. I will be purchasing her other book as well.
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- Tony Mundy
- 02-11-21
MUST READ
The heart wrenching truth that is told in this story connects the reader immediately to the book. Kayla's voice is one of a kind. Her voice is so sweet it captivates the reader. This book will bring comfort and show people that God is always with us. He comforts and heals His children. God bless Kayla and her boys. Thank you Kayla for sharing your story.
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1 person found this helpful