
How to Kill Your Family
A Novel
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Narrated by:
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Charly Clive
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Paul Panting
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By:
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Bella Mackie
About this listen
A darkly humorous debut novel that follows a cunning antihero as she gets her revenge
When I think about what I actually did, I feel somewhat sad that nobody will ever know about the complex operation that I undertook. Getting away with it is highly preferable, of course, but perhaps when I’m long gone, someone will open an old safe and find this confession. The public would reel. After all, almost nobody else in the world can possibly understand how someone, by the tender age of twenty-eight, can have calmly killed six members of her family. And then happily got on with the rest of her life, never to regret a thing.
When Grace Bernard discovers her absentee millionaire father has rejected her dying mother’s pleas for help, she vows revenge and coldly sets out to get her retribution—by killing them all, one by one. Compulsively thrilling, Bella Mackie’s debut novel is driven by a captivating first-person narrator who talks of “self-care” and social media while calmly walking the listener through her increasingly baroque acts of murder. But then, Grace is imprisoned for a murder she didn’t commit.
Outrageously funny, compulsive, and subversive, How to Kill Your Family is a wickedly dark romp about class, family, love … and murder.
©2022 Bella Mackie, published by arrangement with HarperCollins Publishers Limited. Published in 2022 by The Overlook Press, an imprint of ABRAMS, New York. All rights reserved (P)2022 by HarperCollins PublishersListeners also enjoyed...
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- Unabridged
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The Cows is a powerful novel about three women. In all the noise of modern life, each needs to find her own voice. It's about friendship and being female. It's bold and brilliant. It's searingly perceptive. It's about never following the herd. And everyone is going to be talking about it.
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Smart, funny, feminist
- By Mark on 11-05-17
By: Dawn O'Porter, and others
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I Predict a Riot
- Murder, Extortion & Carrot Cake
- By: Colin Bateman
- Narrated by: Adam Moore
- Length: 21 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Walter has a rubbish job, so has Margaret. But when they meet through a dating agency, neither is who they seem. Margaret's married for a start, and Walter's encounter with her husband, Billy, leaves him black and blue. Billy's a dodgy accountant for politician and racketeer Pink Harrison, who is about to come unstuck.
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PICK ME PLEASE PICK ME WE'LL HAVE LOTS OF FUN
- By Louise on 10-19-08
By: Colin Bateman
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Here's Looking at You
- By: Mhairi McFarlane
- Narrated by: Cassandra Harwood
- Length: 10 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance
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The new novel from the bestselling author of You Had Me At Hello. Anna Alessi - history expert, possessor of a lot of hair and an occasionally filthy mouth - seeks nice man for intelligent conversation and Mills & Boon moments. Despite the oddballs that keep turning up on her dates, Anna couldn't be happier. As a 30-something with a job she loves, life has turned out better than she dared dream.
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It Grows On You
- By Sharlotte on 05-24-16
By: Mhairi McFarlane
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Her Name Was Rose
- By: Claire Allan
- Narrated by: Melanie MacHugh
- Length: 10 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance
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Rose Grahame had everything Alex D’Arcy dreams of. A handsome husband, a stunning home and a baby boy with twinkling blue eyes and a smile that would brighten the darkest of days. It’s a stark contrast to Alex’s life - her dead-end job, her borderline addiction to drink and pills, her failed engagement and her cluttered flat. But the women’s lives are about to collide - and nothing will ever be the same again.
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Tense Page-Turner
- By MarisaReads on 07-05-18
By: Claire Allan
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The Heart's Invisible Furies
- A Novel
- By: John Boyne
- Narrated by: Stephen Hogan
- Length: 21 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Cyril Avery is not a real Avery - or at least that's what his adoptive parents tell him. And he never will be. But if he isn't a real Avery, then who is he? Born out of wedlock to a teenage girl cast out from her rural Irish community and adopted by a well-to-do if eccentric Dublin couple via the intervention of a hunchbacked Redemptorist nun, Cyril is adrift in the world, anchored only tenuously by his heartfelt friendship with the infinitely more glamourous and dangerous Julian Woodbead.
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Outstanding. A Must listen.
- By Keith G on 09-04-17
By: John Boyne
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Are You Watching Me?
- DS Claire Boyle, Book 2
- By: Sinead Crowley
- Narrated by: Aoife McMahon
- Length: 8 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Dear Elizabeth, I've been watching you. I hope to see you...soon. Liz Cafferky is on the up. Rescued from her dark past by the owner of a drop-in centre for older men, Liz soon finds herself as the charity's face - and the unwilling darling of the Dublin media. Amidst her claustrophobic fame, Liz barely notices a letter from a new fan. But then one of the centre's clients is brutally murdered, and Elizabeth receives another, more sinister note. Running from her own ghosts, Liz is too scared to go to the police.
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Fantastic!!
- By Brett McAteer on 03-06-19
By: Sinead Crowley
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Perfect Remains
- DI Callanach, Book 1
- By: Helen Fields
- Narrated by: Robin Laing
- Length: 12 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
On a remote Highland mountain, the body of Elaine Buxton is burning. All that will be left to identify the respected lawyer are her teeth and a fragment of clothing. In the concealed back room of a house in Edinburgh, the real Elaine Buxton screams into the darkness…. Detective Inspector Luc Callanach has barely set foot in his new office when Elaine’s missing persons case is escalated to a murder investigation. Having left behind a promising career at Interpol, he’s eager to prove himself to his new team.
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A great disappointment
- By Amazon Customer on 12-20-19
By: Helen Fields
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The Perfect Lie
- By: Emily Barr
- Narrated by: Jilly Bond, Penelope Rawlins, Julia Franklin, and others
- Length: 11 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
For Lucy Riddick, Venice has always been the dream destination, the ideal place to lose herself. And now she needs to do just that. The secret she's been keeping has finally caught up with her and Lucy needs to disappear - fast. But what if, when she sets foot in Venice, Lucy finds the one thing she has been running from?
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Fun and Absorbing
- By Jen Fabbri on 10-15-15
By: Emily Barr
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Murder at the Mill
- A Mystery (Iris Grey Mysteries, Book 1)
- By: M. B. Shaw
- Narrated by: Penelope Rawlins
- Length: 13 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Iris Grey rents a quaint cottage in a picture-perfect Hampshire village, looking to escape from her crumbling marriage. She is drawn to the neighboring Wetherby family and is commissioned to paint a portrait of Dominic Wetherby, a celebrated crime writer. At the Wetherby's Christmas Eve party, the mulled wine is in full flow - but so are tensions and rivalries among the guests. On Christmas Day, the youngest member of the Wetherby family, Lorcan, finds a body in the water. A tragic accident? Or a deadly crime?
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Iris Grey Mysteries
- By Beatrice on 12-09-18
By: M. B. Shaw
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Things We Never Said
- By: Nick Alexander
- Narrated by: Imogen Church
- Length: 11 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
When Catherine learns that she is dying, she remembers the words her husband once jokingly uttered and decides to leave him the ultimate posthumous gift: a time capsule containing photographs of their life together along with tape recordings in which she recounts every secret she ever kept, every unspoken thought whether loving or treacherous - the things they never said.
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Boring couple, Boring Book
- By Shell on 12-23-18
By: Nick Alexander
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Those Who Lie
- By: Diane Jeffrey
- Narrated by: Karen Cass
- Length: 9 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Emily Klein doesn’t know she has killed her husband until the day of his funeral. At first, signs point to a tragic accident. Yet, as Emily pieces together the events before his death - events which led to her own memory loss - she begins to suspect that her husband’s death may have been the result of more than a terrible twist of fate.... But the accident is only the beginning. Because while Emily’s physical scars will heal, the trauma of the accident has awakened old ghosts. She hears strange sounds, catches things that can’t possibly be there in the corner of her eye.
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A page turner indeed
- By Mystical Lady on 12-07-18
By: Diane Jeffrey
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Red Ribbons
- Dr. Kate Pearson, Book 1
- By: Louise Phillips
- Narrated by: Caroline Morahan
- Length: 12 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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A missing schoolgirl is found buried in the Dublin Mountains, hands clasped together in prayer, two red ribbons in her hair. Twenty-four hours later, a second schoolgirl is found in a shallow grave - her body identically arranged. The hunt for the killer is on. The police call in criminal psychologist Kate Pearson to get inside the mind of the murderer before he strikes again. But the more Kate discovers about the killings, the more it all feels terrifyingly familiar.
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A true psychological thriller
- By BARBARA WAGONER on 12-24-16
By: Louise Phillips
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That’s it?!!!
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I'd like the 7.5h of my life just stolen returned
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A great tale of overcoming anxiety and running
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Korede is bitter. How could she not be? Her sister, Ayoola, is many things: the favorite child, the beautiful one, possibly sociopathic. And now Ayoola’s third boyfriend in a row is dead. Korede’s practicality is the sisters’ saving grace. She knows the best solutions for cleaning blood, the trunk of her car is big enough for a body, and she keeps Ayoola from posting pictures of her dinner to Instagram when she should be mourning her “missing” boyfriend. Not that she gets any credit. Korede has long been in love with a kind, handsome doctor at the hospital where she works.
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The worst thing to ever happen on Hemlock Circle occurred in Ethan Marsh’s backyard. One July night, ten-year-old Ethan and his best friend and neighbor, Billy, fell asleep in a tent set up on a manicured lawn in a quiet, quaint New Jersey cul-de-sac. In the morning, Ethan woke up alone. During the night, someone had sliced the tent open with a knife and taken Billy. He was never seen again. Thirty years later, Ethan has reluctantly returned to his childhood home. Plagued by bad dreams and insomnia, he begins to notice strange things happening in the middle of the night.
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Pip is not in the mood for her friend’s murder mystery party. Especially one that involves 1920’s fancy dress and pretending that their town is an island called Joy. But when the game begins, Pip finds herself drawn into the make-believe world of intrigue, deception and murder. But as Pip plays detective, teasing out the identity of the killer clue-by-clue, the murder of the fictional Reginald Remy isn’t the only case on her mind …
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Everyone thinks my husband is dead. Just like we planned. Eleven years ago, my husband disappeared. Eleven long hard years I waited, my heart breaking for our son, who didn’t know his father was coming back. Today, my hands shake as I try to understand what I’ve just learned: my husband has a new wife. This wasn’t part of our plan. Eleven years ago, my husband made a terrible mistake. I sacrificed everything to help him fix it. But now he’s put our son and me in danger again. We had a plan. He broke the rules. But who will pay the price?
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Lazy ending
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What listeners say about How to Kill Your Family
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- Kim Purcell
- 10-16-23
Love this book
Fabulous use of voice and great characterization throughout. It’s a riveting page-turner. Highly recommend.
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- R Schumann
- 08-25-24
Decent performance of a story where I wanted more
The performance was fine (although I had to listen much faster than I usually do, because the pacing is a little slow), but the story is overly long with too much commentary from the unreliable narrator.
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- Lisa
- 01-09-25
The ending
The ending sucked. It felt like a very long drawn out let down. The twists and turns were good but the ending ruined it for me
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- Anonymous User
- 09-02-22
Entertaining quick listen
Loved the witty, dark humor of this book! I would find myself actually laughing out loud at parts. The story was clever and unique. Grace was such an entertaining character who I found I was secretly rooting for, even though I’m not sure you’re supposed to.
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- Ann Beard
- 05-26-23
Twists and turns
This book had an unusual plot and I liked all the unexpected twists and turns in the story line.
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- Gabi Frederick
- 12-21-22
Interesting!
I enjoyed the main character as well as the narrator, perfect fit! I would have preferred the ending to include a bit more of Grace’s perspective but it was unexpected to say the least.
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- SuziQ
- 11-23-22
Hard to rate this one
Great performance for Grace. I enjoyed this one up until the ending which is why I struggled to give it a rating but I guess that's expected with the character!
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- Emily Davis
- 04-22-24
Why why why
I’m just so disappointed with the ending of this book. It could have been a legit five star contender if it didn’t turn into the car crash that it became at the end
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- T Berrio
- 07-01-24
Well done
A solid listen. Well written and interesting with a fairly unique take on murder thriller. Totally worth the credit.
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- cristina
- 01-17-23
Totally enjoyed it
There were parts that were a bit silly and some of the characters were underdeveloped, but I totally enjoyed it. Can’t wait for the author’s second novel. (The readers were absolutely great.)
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2 people found this helpful