
Murder Your Employer
The McMasters Guide to Homicide
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Narrated by:
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Neil Patrick Harris
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Simon Vance
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By:
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Rupert Holmes
About this listen
A New York Times bestseller! From Edgar Award-winning novelist, playwright, and story-songwriter Rupert Holmes comes a diabolical thriller with a killer concept: The McMasters Conservatory for the Applied Arts, “a fantasy academy laid out like a combination of Hogwarts, Downton Abbey, and a White Lotus-style resort” (Los Angeles Times) dedicated to the art of murder where students study how best to “delete” their most deserving victim.
Who hasn’t wondered for a split second what the world would be like if a person who is the object of your affliction ceased to exist? But then you’ve probably never heard of The McMasters Conservatory, dedicated to the consummate execution of the homicidal arts. To gain admission, a student must have an ethical reason for erasing someone who deeply deserves a fate no worse (nor better) than death. The campus of this “Poison Ivy League” college—its location unknown to even those who study there—is where you might find yourself the practice target of a classmate…and where one’s mandatory graduation thesis is getting away with the perfect murder of someone whose death will make the world a much better place to live.
Prepare for an education you’ll never forget. A “fiendishly funny” (Booklist) mix of witty wordplay, breathtaking twists and genuine intrigue, Murder Your Employer will gain you admission into a wholly original world, cocooned within the most entertaining book about well-intentioned would-be murderers you’ll ever read.
©2023 Rupert Holmes (P)2023 Simon & Schuster, Inc.Listeners also enjoyed...
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Story
In 1965, Frances Adams is at an English country fair where a fortune-teller makes a bone-chilling prediction: One day, Frances will be murdered. It is a prediction that sparks her life’s work—trying to solve a crime that hasn’t happened yet. Nearly sixty years later, Annie Adams is summoned to a meeting at the sprawling country estate of her wealthy and reclusive great-aunt Frances. But by the time Annie arrives in the quaint English village of Castle Knoll, Frances is found murdered, just like she always said she would be.
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An interesting twist
- By Russell on 04-02-24
By: Kristen Perrin
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Win Lose Kill Die
- By: Cynthia Murphy
- Narrated by: Rachel Atkins
- Length: 7 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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At the historic Morton Academy, a school for high-achievers, everyone wants to be Head Girl and gain all the prestige and success that comes with the title. But when bodies start piling up, the students begin to worry that someone is too determined to take that crown. Liz, Taylor, Kat, Marcus and Cole all set out to discover what exactly is going on. Is it the secret society that they have sworn allegiance too? The history of a cult that plagues Morton Academy? Or even a greedy teacher? They need to find the truth...and quickly.
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Good! Not bad but not amazing either.
- By Bethany on 04-10-24
By: Cynthia Murphy
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Bad Men
- By: Julie Mae Cohen
- Narrated by: Nathalie Buscombe
- Length: 9 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Saffy Huntley-Oliver is an intelligent and glamorous socialite; she also happens to be a proficient serial killer. For the past fifteen years, she’s hunted down and dispatched rapists, murderers, domestic abusers—bad men all. But leading a double life has left her lonely—dating’s tough when your boyfriend might turn out to be your next victim. Saffy thinks she’s finally found a truly good man in Jonathan Desrosiers, a true-crime podcaster who’s amassed legions of diehard fans for cracking cold cases and bringing justice to victims.
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Witty, biting, enjoyable
- By Rose Rodriguez on 11-13-24
By: Julie Mae Cohen
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The Antique Hunter's Guide to Murder
- A Novel
- By: C.L. Miller
- Narrated by: Emilia Fox
- Length: 11 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Freya Lockwood is shocked when she learns that Arthur Crockleford, antiques dealer and her estranged mentor, has died under mysterious circumstances. She has spent the last twenty years avoiding her quaint English hometown, but when she receives a letter from Arthur asking her to investigate—sent just days before his death—Freya has no choice but to return to a life she had sworn to leave behind.
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So disappointing
- By Kelly Garland on 03-19-24
By: C.L. Miller
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The Golden Spoon
- A Novel
- By: Jessa Maxwell
- Narrated by: Andrea Emmes, Andy Garcia-Ruse, Graham Halstead, and others
- Length: 8 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Every summer for the past ten years, six awe-struck bakers have descended on the grounds of Grafton, the leafy and imposing Vermont estate that is not only the filming site for “Bake Week” but also the childhood home of the show’s famous host, celebrated baker Betsy Martin.
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Terrible Narration
- By Laura Casey on 03-12-23
By: Jessa Maxwell
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The Cartographer: Complete Series
- By: AC Cobble
- Narrated by: Simon Vance
- Length: 44 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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This set includes all three books in AC Cobble's Cartographer Series. A pair of unlikely investigators walk a dangerous path into the past, uncovering secrets best left alone in this dark, fantasy thriller. The fate of empire is to crumble from within. A heinous murder in a small village reveals a terrible truth. Sorcery, once thought dead in Enhover, is not. Evidence of an occult ritual and human sacrifice proves that dark power has been called upon again. Twisting threads of clues lead across the known world to the end of a vast empire, and then, the trail returns home.
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Kind of a cluttered story
- By Gwendolyn on 12-14-20
By: AC Cobble
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The Last Murder at the End of the World
- A Novel
- By: Stuart Turton
- Narrated by: James Cameron Stewart
- Length: 11 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Outside the island there is nothing: the world was destroyed by a fog that swept the planet, killing anyone it touched. On the island: it is idyllic. One hundred and twenty-two villagers and three scientists, living in peaceful harmony. The villagers are content to fish, farm and feast, to obey their nightly curfew, to do what they're told by the scientists. Until, to the horror of the islanders, one of their beloved scientists is found brutally stabbed to death.
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Narrator - why?
- By Deb on 06-25-24
By: Stuart Turton
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Death and Croissants
- A Follet Valley Mystery, Book 1
- By: Ian Moore
- Narrated by: Ian Moore
- Length: 6 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Richard is a middle-aged Englishman who runs a B&B in the fictional Val de Follet in the Loire Valley. Nothing ever happens to Richard, and really that’s the way he likes it. One day, however, one of his older guests disappears, leaving behind a bloody handprint on the wallpaper. Another guest, the exotic Valérie, persuades a reluctant Richard to join her in investigating the disappearance. Richard remains a dazed passenger in the case until things become really serious and someone murders Ava Gardner, one of his beloved hen...and you don’t mess with a fellow’s hens!
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Ridiculous and enormously fun
- By Rani on 07-17-21
By: Ian Moore
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You'd Look Better as a Ghost
- A Novel
- By: Joanna Wallace
- Narrated by: Fiona Hardingham
- Length: 9 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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The night after her father's funeral, Claire meets Lucas in a bar. Lucas doesn't know it, but it's not a chance meeting. One thoughtless mistyped email has put him in the crosshairs of an extremely put-out serial killer. But before they make eye contact, before Claire lets him buy her a drink—even before she takes him home and carves him up into little pieces—something about that night is very wrong. Because someone is watching Claire. Someone who is about to discover her murderous little hobby.
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Terrible story and read
- By L. Bock on 10-06-24
By: Joanna Wallace
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A House with Good Bones
- By: T. Kingfisher
- Narrated by: Mary Robinette Kowal
- Length: 6 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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"Mom seems off." Her brother's words echo in Sam Montgomery's ear as she turns onto the quiet North Carolina street where their mother lives alone. She brushes the thought away as she climbs the front steps. Sam's excited for this rare extended visit, and looking forward to nights with just the two of them, drinking boxed wine, watching murder mystery shows, and guessing who the killer is long before the characters figure it out. But stepping inside, she quickly realizes home isn’t what it used to be.
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Narrator Kills It
- By Lucinda Perregil on 04-04-23
By: T. Kingfisher
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Pay the Piper
- A Novel
- By: George A. Romero, Daniel Kraus
- Narrated by: Sophie Amoss
- Length: 11 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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In 2019, while sifting through University of Pittsburgh Library’s System’s George A. Romero Archival Collection, novelist Daniel Kraus turned up a surprise: a half-finished novel called Pay the Piper, a project few had ever heard of. In the years since, Kraus has worked with Romero’s estate to bring this unfinished masterwork to light.
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couldn't stop listening
- By Amazon Customer on 11-26-24
By: George A. Romero, and others
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Dragonfall
- Dragon Scales, Book 1
- By: L. R. Lam
- Narrated by: Philip Ishak Arditti, Rebecca Hayes
- Length: 13 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Long ago, humans betrayed dragons, stealing their magic and banishing them to a dying world. Centuries later, their descendants worship dragons as gods—but the gods remember, and they do not forgive. Thief Arcady scrapes a living on the streets of Vatra. Desperate, Arcady steals a powerful artifact from the bones of the Plaguebringer, the most hated person in Lumet history. Only Arcady knows that the artifact's magic holds the key to a new life among the nobles at court and a chance for revenge.
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Absolutely Fantastic
- By Emily on 12-23-23
By: L. R. Lam
What listeners say about Murder Your Employer
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- Raven
- 03-09-23
Love. This.
Genuinely hope this becomes a series. It was kind of like an adult version of a series of unfortunate events.
Subtle and well done-was a decadent listen that I dreaded nearing the end because I wanted more.
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- jewelofthecrowne
- 03-09-23
fun listen!
creative fun story, with excellent performances by NPH and Simon Vance. I think I would have enjoyed a print version of this novel ad well, but the performances of these two are not to be missed.
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- C.K. JACKSON
- 04-03-23
Loved this!
The perfect back story for any assassin. I couldn’t stop listening and actually rooted for my favorite characters.
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- Rachael
- 04-09-23
Charming and Clever
This was a fun listen! The book was cleverly written and full of whimsy. Highly recommend!
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- Juanny O.
- 04-19-23
Very entertaining and creative
I know—how could I give 4-stars for performance? I am a huge fan of NPH. But he can’t really do an accent, and his comedic timing is not as strong on in narration…at least with this novel. But even if not among my favorite he’s still NPH and enjoyed much of his narration.
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- yo
- 05-24-23
The ending was worth it
Like some of the other reviewer‘s, I was about to give up partway through. I’m glad I didn’t, though. The ending was clever. Well done.
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- hagit alon
- 05-13-23
Such an enjoyable listen
Very entertaining indeed! I loved the plots and details and narrating, can definitely see this book adapted to a
sophisticated comedy series.
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- Michael Wichterich
- 06-24-23
What a treasure!
This is my first review for audible despite having listened to numerous stories. And this is by far my favorite! Neil Patrick Harris and Simon Vance are superb! And Rupert Holmes should definitely write more books!
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- Anonymous User
- 07-24-23
Ready for the next one!
Mr. Holmes, we need more! Narration. story line, all of it, so very good!
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- Sheri
- 09-23-23
Loved this story
Really enjoyed the practical, and philisophical discusion of justifed murder. An old friend used to say "ya, Person X needs nothing more than a good killing" Maybe i was just mad at my work but it was such a distraction I forgot to be mad at work And, if follwing the McMasters rules -- then I could without malice stop daydreaming of a workplace homicide.
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