How to Raise a Feminist Son
Motherhood, Masculinity, and the Making of My Family
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Narrated by:
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Sonora Jha
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By:
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Sonora Jha
About this listen
A compelling story that will resonate with feminists who hope to change the world, one kind boy at a time
This book is a true love letter, not only to Jha's own son but also to all of our sons and to the parents - especially mothers - who raise them.” (Ijeoma Oluo, author of So You Want to Talk About Race and Mediocre)
A beautifully written and deeply personal story of struggling, failing, and eventually succeeding at raising a feminist son, this empowering book offers much-needed insight and actionable advice. From teaching consent to counteracting problematic messages from the media, well-meaning family, and the culture at large, we have big work to do when it comes to our boys.
Informed by the author's work as a professor of journalism specializing in social justice movements and social media, as well as by conversations with psychologists, experts, and other parents and boys, this book follows one mother's journey to raise a feminist son as a single immigrant woman of color in America. Through stories from her own life and wide-ranging research, Sonora Jha shows us all how to be better feminists and better teachers of the next generation of men in this electrifying tour de force.
* This audiobook edition includes a downloadable PDF of the Resources section of the book.
"A beautiful hybrid of memoir, manifesto, instruction manual, and rumination on the power of story and possibilities of family." (Rebecca Solnit, author of The Mother of All Questions)
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
©2021 Sonora Jha (P)2021 Random House AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
“In How to Raise a Feminist Son, Jha weaves her own fascinating, sometimes heartbreaking, and always beautiful story of raising her own feminist son with careful research, insightful interviews, and helpful advice. There were countless times in reading this book where I found myself reevaluating things I had told my own sons and setting new goals for things I would teach them in the future. True love sees you for who you are, and true love holds you to account when you fall short of who you can be, because true love knows what you are capable of. This book is a true love letter, not only to Jha's own son but also to all of our sons and to the parents - especially mothers - who raise them.” (Ijeoma Oluo, author of So You Want to Talk About Race and Mediocre)
“You can’t punish your way to a more feminist world, I’ve long believed; you have to create, encourage, invent that world, especially in how you raise kids, but that’s only one reason Sonora Jha’s book is exhilarating and inspiring. It’s a beautiful hybrid of memoir, manifesto, instruction manual, and rumination on the power of story and possibilities of family. I can’t wait to put it in the hands of everyone raising kids or thinking about how we do it and how it could be different.” (Rebecca Solnit, author of The Mother of All Questions)
“Essential reading for any parent, loved one, or teacher seeking to raise feminist boys in these times. A strong case for how teaching our boys to show vulnerability, empathy, and remorse can be the path to freedom. Sonora Jha asks, ‘Can boys be feminists?’ The answer is a resounding YES.” (V, formerly Eve Ensler, author of The Vagina Monologues and The Apology)
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Story
One of the main topics of cultural conversation during the last decade was the supposed "fertility crisis" and whether modern women could figure out a way to have it all - a successful, demanding career and the required 2.3 children - before their biological clocks stopped ticking. Now, however, conversation has turned to whether it's necessary to have it all (see Anne-Marie Slaughter) or, perhaps more controversial, whether children are really a requirement for a fulfilling life.
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Am I the only sane childfree woman in here?
- By J. Malouin on 09-29-15
By: Meghan Daum
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Shanda
- A Memoir of Shame and Secrecy
- By: Letty Cottin Pogrebin
- Narrated by: Dina Pearlman
- Length: 14 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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The word "shanda" is defined as shame or disgrace in Yiddish. This book, Shanda, tells the story of three generations of complicated, intense twentieth-century Jews for whom the desire to fit in and the fear of public humiliation either drove their aspirations or crushed their spirit. In her deeply engaging, astonishingly candid memoir, author and activist Letty Cottin Pogrebin exposes the fiercely-guarded lies and intricate cover-ups woven by dozens of members of her extended family.
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Beautifully Written!
- By Adele Aron Greenspun on 01-12-23
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Cunt (20th Anniversary Edition)
- By: Inga Muscio
- Narrated by: Inga Muscio
- Length: 8 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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In this fully revised anniversary edition of the classic testament to women's empowerment, Muscio explores with candidness and humor such traditional feminist issues as birth control, sexuality, jealousy between women, and prostitution with a fresh attitude for a new generation of women. Sending out a call for every woman to be the "Cuntlovin' Ruler of Her Sexual Universe", Muscio stands convention on its head by embracing the provocative and celebrating womanhood.
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Best book ever
- By Paula Daniels on 07-28-19
By: Inga Muscio
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Modern Loss
- Candid Conversation About Grief. Beginners Welcome.
- By: Rebecca Soffer, Gabrielle Birkner
- Narrated by: Meredith Mitchell, Josh Bloomberg
- Length: 7 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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At a time when we mourn public figures and national tragedies with hashtags, where intimate posts about loss go viral and we receive automated birthday reminders for dead friends, it's clear we are navigating new terrain without a road map. Let's face it: Most of us have always had a difficult time talking about death and sharing our grief. We're awkward and uncertain; we avoid, ignore, or even deny feelings of sadness; we offer platitudes; we send sympathy bouquets whittled out of fruit.
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Not What I Was Expecting
- By Bessie Mae on 03-01-23
By: Rebecca Soffer, and others
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Transitions of the Heart
- Stories of Love, Struggle and Acceptance by Mothers of Transgender and Gender Variant Children
- By: Rachel Pepper - editor
- Narrated by: Elisabeth Rodgers
- Length: 5 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Transitions of the Heart is the first collection to ever invite mothers of transgender and gender variant children of all ages to tell their own stories about their child’s gender transition. Often transitioning socially and emotionally alongside their child but rarely given a voice in the experience, mothers hold the key to familial and societal understanding of gender difference.
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Heartfelt, Well-Written, and Moving
- By Susie on 01-04-13
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A Mind Spread Out on the Ground
- By: Alicia Elliott
- Narrated by: Kyla Garcia
- Length: 7 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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The Mohawk phrase for depression can be roughly translated as a mind spread out on the ground. In this urgent, visceral work, Alicia Elliott explores how apt a description that is for the ongoing effects of the personal, intergenerational, and colonial traumas experienced by her so many Native people. Elliott's deeply personal writing details a life spent between Indigenous and White communities - a divide reflected in her own family - and engages with such wide-ranging topics as race, parenthood, love, art, mental illness, poverty, sexual assault, gentrification, and representation.
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Well written, heartfelt, revealing
- By KWK on 07-15-24
By: Alicia Elliott
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One and Only
- The Freedom of Having an Only Child, and the Joy of Being One
- By: Lauren Sandler
- Narrated by: Lauren Sandler
- Length: 6 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Journalist Lauren Sandler is an only child and the mother of one. After investigating what only children are really like and whether stopping at one child is an answer to reconciling motherhood and modernity, she learned a lot about herself - and a lot about our culture's assumptions. In this heartfelt work, Sandler legitimizes a discussion about the larger societal costs of having more than one.
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Data Driven
- By Meghan B on 01-11-22
By: Lauren Sandler
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Committed
- A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage
- By: Elizabeth Gilbert
- Narrated by: Elizabeth Gilbert
- Length: 8 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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At the end of her best-selling memoir Eat, Pray, Love, Elizabeth Gilbert fell in love with Felipe, a Brazilian-born man of Australian citizenship who'd been living in Indonesia when they met. Resettling in America, the couple swore eternal fidelity to each other, but also swore to never, ever, under any circumstances get legally married. But providence intervened one day in the form of the United States government....
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Perfect timing
- By Nancy on 01-15-10
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The Survivors
- A Story of War, Inheritance, and Healing
- By: Adam Frankel
- Narrated by: Adam Frankel, Rob Shapiro
- Length: 8 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Adam Frankel’s maternal grandparents survived the Holocaust and built new lives, with new names, in Connecticut. Though they tried to leave the horrors of their past behind, the pain they suffered crossed generational lines - a fact most apparent in the mental health of Adam’s mother. When Adam sat down with her to examine their family history in detail, he learned another shocking secret, this time one that unraveled Adam’s entire understanding of who he is.
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Amazing story
- By Alissa on 12-26-19
By: Adam Frankel
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The Girls Who Went Away
- The Hidden History of Women Who Surrendered Children for Adoption in the Decades Before Roe v. Wade
- By: Ann Fessler
- Narrated by: Coleen Marlo
- Length: 12 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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In this deeply moving and myth-shattering work, Ann Fessler brings out into the open for the first time the astonishing untold history of the million and a half women who surrendered children for adoption due to enormous family and social pressure in the decades before Roe v. Wade.
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Sad but True ... and Helpful
- By Kim Kavanagh on 01-05-17
By: Ann Fessler
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Pure
- Inside the Evangelical Movement That Shamed a Generation of Young Women and How I Broke Free
- By: Linda Kay Klein
- Narrated by: Linda Kay Klein
- Length: 8 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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In the 1990s, a “purity industry” emerged out of the white evangelical Christian culture. Purity rings, purity pledges, and purity balls came with a dangerous message: girls are potential sexual “stumbling blocks” for boys and men, and any expression of a girl’s sexuality could reflect the corruption of her character. This message traumatized many girls - resulting in anxiety, fear, and experiences that mimicked the symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder - and trapped them in a cycle of shame.
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I expected a different ending I suppose
- By Military Dad on 12-12-18
By: Linda Kay Klein
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Walking on Eggshells
- Navigating the Delicate Relationship Between Adult Children and Parents
- By: Jane Isay
- Narrated by: Ann Marie Lee
- Length: 7 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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We raise our children to be independent and lead fulfilling lives, but when they finally do, staying close becomes more complicated than ever. And for every bewildered mother who wonders why her children don't call, there is a frustrated son or daughter who just wants to be treated like a grownup. Now, renowned editor Jane Isay delivers the perfect gift to both parents and their adult children-real-life wisdom and advice on how to stay together without falling apart.
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Disappointed
- By tammy alvarez on 01-13-19
By: Jane Isay
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Between Two Worlds
- Growing Up in the Shadow of Saddam
- By: Zainab Salbi, Laurie Becklund
- Narrated by: Josephine Bailey
- Length: 10 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Zainab Salbi was 11-years-old when her father was chosen to serve as Saddam Hussein's personal pilot, her family often forced to spend weekends with Saddam where he watched their every move. As a palace insider, Zainab offers a singular glimpse of what it is like to come of age under a dictator and provides an intimate portrait of the man she was taught to call "uncle". She watched as Saddam pitted friends, spouses, and even children against each other to compete for his approval.
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An excellent history lesson
- By Ella on 12-01-09
By: Zainab Salbi, and others
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Love That Boy
- What Two Presidents, Eight Road Trips, and My Son Taught Me About a Parent's Expectations
- By: Ron Fournier
- Narrated by: Jonathan Yen
- Length: 6 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Love That Boy is a uniquely personal story about the causes and costs of outsized parental expectations. What we want for our children - popularity, normalcy, achievement, genius - and what they truly need - grit, empathy, character - are explored by National Journal's Ron Fournier, who weaves his extraordinary journey to acceptance around the latest research on childhood development and stories of other loving-but-struggling parents.
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Very enjoyable. Listened to it twice.
- By howharryisharry on 09-05-17
By: Ron Fournier
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The Ungrateful Refugee
- What Immigrants Never Tell You
- By: Dina Nayeri
- Narrated by: Dina Nayeri
- Length: 10 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Aged eight, Dina Nayeri fled Iran along with her mother and brother and lived in the crumbling shell of an Italian hotel-turned-refugee camp. Eventually, she was granted asylum in America. She settled in Oklahoma, then made her way to Princeton University. In this book, Nayeri weaves together her own vivid story with the stories of other refugees and asylum seekers in recent years, bringing us inside their daily lives and taking us through the different stages of their journeys, from escape to asylum to resettlement.
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Amazing story of resilience and compassion
- By PAH on 09-06-19
By: Dina Nayeri
What listeners say about How to Raise a Feminist Son
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Amazon Customer
- 02-06-23
important
Jha tells a compelling story and provides some great resources along the way. One of the best aspects of this book is how current it is.
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- Amazon Customer
- 08-20-21
A book for the times!
This was an easy read for me, but I was delighted to hear it in Sonora's voice! She delivers a poignant message with humor and charm. By the end of the book, it is certain that we should all be feminists and how we can guide everyone to be such.
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1 person found this helpful
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- serena naramore
- 05-17-21
Beautiful and inspiring!
Feminism is about love. Learning to respect and love the other half of the population allows boys to dismantle toxic masculinity and lead more for lives with honesty and compassion. I would recommend this book to anyone who would like to be an ally, or teach children to be allies, of women. I have loved hearing the author’s words in her own voice —definitely glad I decided to listen to the audiobook.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Amazon Customer
- 11-22-22
Pregnant with a boy
After growing up & realizing I had been being used, abused, groomed and belittled by almost every man I had loved, trusted and respected, I was distraught to find out I was going to be raising a white boy in yet another heteronormative, nuclear family. I cried at night more times than I would like to admit. While this will be no easy task, this book provided a lot of hope that I can do this, and not only that but the realization of just how important this opportunity really is.
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- Sammy
- 06-15-21
For anyone raising sons!
Sonora Jha's book is poignant, funny and makes you think on a really deep level. Her approach to motherhood and her raw vulnerability make this book a must read for anyone involved in shaping the lives of young men and boys. This book is timely, and incredibly well written. I highly, highly recommend it.
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- michele
- 05-04-23
Audible was excellent!
Really enjoyed this we researched and ask very heart warming book.
With so many examples of how to raise a feminist son, and also help them in this world, navigate being a boy and a man. Wish I had this as a resource book when I was raising my son. Highly recommend.
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