I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die
Finding Hope in the Darkness of Depression
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Narrated by:
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Holly Oxhandler
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Sarah J. Robinson
About this listen
A compassionate, shame-free guide for your darkest days
“A one-of-a-kind book...to read for yourself or give to a struggling friend or loved one without the fear that depression and suicidal thoughts will be minimized, medicalized or over-spiritualized.” (Kay Warren, cofounder of Saddleback Church)
What happens when loving Jesus doesn’t cure you of depression, anxiety, or suicidal thoughts? You might be crushed by shame over your mental illness, only to be told by well-meaning Christians to “choose joy” and “pray more”. So you beg God to take away the pain, but nothing eases the ache inside. As darkness lingers and color drains from your world, you’re left wondering if God has abandoned you.
You just want a way out.
But there’s hope.
In I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die, Sarah J. Robinson offers a healthy, practical, and shame-free guide for Christians struggling with mental illness. With unflinching honesty, Sarah shares her story of battling depression and fighting to stay alive despite toxic theology that made her afraid to seek help outside the church. Pairing her own story with scriptural insights, mental health research, and simple practices, Sarah helps you reconnect with the God who is present in our deepest anguish and discover that you are worth everything it takes to get better.
Beautifully written and full of hard-won wisdom, I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die offers a path toward a rich, hope-filled life in Christ, even when healing doesn’t look like what you expect.
This audiobook edition includes a downloadable PDF of appendices from the book.
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
©2021 Sarah J. Robinson (P)2021 Random House AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Despite his deep desire to overcome mental illness and lead others out of their own pain, pastor Andrew Stoecklein died by suicide at the age of 30. In the wake of the tragedy, his widow, Kayla, embarked on a journey to better understand Andrew’s harrowing battle, come alongside those with similar struggles, and help the church overcome the stigma of suicide.
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Too religious
- By Jennifer W. on 05-10-21
By: Kayla Stoecklein, and others
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Perfectly Hidden Depression
- How to Break Free from the Perfectionism That Masks Your Depression
- By: Margaret Robinson Rutherford PhD
- Narrated by: Eleanor Caudill
- Length: 5 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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If you were raised to believe that painful emotions are a sign of weakness, or if being vulnerable has always made you feel unsafe, then you may have survived by creating a perfect-looking life - a life where you appear to be successful, engaged, and always there for others. The problem? You're filled with self-criticism and shame, and you can't allow yourself to express fear, anger, loss, or grief. You recognize something is wrong, but you're not sure what exactly - only that you feel trapped and alone. If this sounds like you, you may have perfectly hidden depression (PHD).
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Amazing
- By Kimberly Davis on 10-27-20
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I enjoyed this experience
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Last Chapter First
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In her debut devotional, Fighting Words, you are invited to come alongside Ellie, as you ponder the power of God’s promises together and speak them into the darkest corners of your soul. Filled with encouraging and honest reflections, beautifully designed Scripture memory chapters, and wonderful questions to help you process, Fighting Words is a place where you can wrestle, respond to, and take hold of precious truths in God's Word to help you push back the lies that so often consume, distract, and destroy us. God's Word is alive.
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A great daily devotion
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Stay Here
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Every forty seconds, someone takes his or her life. Anxiety, depression, and suicide are at all-time highs—and they're stealing our sons, daughters, friends, and spouses. With tender passion and bold hope, Jacob Coyne, founder of Stay Here, infuses life into the dark corners of mental health. Giving hurting souls a reason to live, he shows not only how Jesus brings life to the full, but also how anyone—regardless of their past or pain—can find healing.
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the examples hit home
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Try Softer
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In Try Softer, you'll learn how to: know and set emotional and relational boundaries; make sense of the difficult experiences you've had; identify your attachment style-and how that affects your relationships today; move through emotions rather than get stuck by them; and grow in self-compassion and talk back to your inner critic. Trying softer is sacred work. And while it won't be perfect or easy, it will be worth it. Because this is what we were made for: a living, breathing, moving, feeling, connected, beautifully incarnational life.
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Trauma therapy simplified for us all!
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Depression, Anxiety, and Other Things We Don't Want to Talk About
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Mental illness loves to tell lies. One of those lies is that you really should be able to manage what you're struggling with. Pastor and psychotherapist Ryan Casey Waller says no. Mental health issues are not a symptom of a spiritual failing or insufficient faith; rather, suffering is the very thing our Savior seeks to heal as he leads us toward restoration. And yet, as Waller has experienced personally, the battle can be lonely and discouraging. But it doesn't have to be.
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So insightful, helpful, and comforting!
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I enjoyed this experience
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Last Chapter First
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A great daily devotion
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Stay Here
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Every forty seconds, someone takes his or her life. Anxiety, depression, and suicide are at all-time highs—and they're stealing our sons, daughters, friends, and spouses. With tender passion and bold hope, Jacob Coyne, founder of Stay Here, infuses life into the dark corners of mental health. Giving hurting souls a reason to live, he shows not only how Jesus brings life to the full, but also how anyone—regardless of their past or pain—can find healing.
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the examples hit home
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Depression is the number-one health issue in the world today, yet those who suffer are still sometimes stigmatized - especially followers of Jesus. Many assume God's peace, power, and protection should prevent us from ever feeling anxious, depressed, and afraid. But the Bible teaches otherwise, particularly in its depiction of the life of the Old Testament prophet Elijah. Chris Hodges uses Elijah's life to show us that everyone is susceptible to depression. Even when we're walking closely with God, we can still stumble and get lost in the wilderness of tangled emotions.
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Grace for the Afflicted
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Each day men and women diagnosed with mental disorders are told they need to pray more and turn from their sin. Mental illness is equated with demonic possession, weak faith, and generational sin. As both a church leader and a professor of psychology and behavioral sciences, Michael S. Stanford has seen far too many mentally ill brothers and sisters damaged by well-meaning believers who respond to them out of fear or misinformation rather than grace. Grace for the Afflicted educates Christians about mental illness from both biblical and scientific perspectives.
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Depression - whether circumstantial and fleeting or persistent and long term - impacts most people at some point in their lives. Puritan Pastor Richard Baxter spent most of his ministry caring for depressed and discouraged souls, and his timeless counsel still speaks to us today. In this book, psychiatrist Michael S. Lundy and theologian J. I. Packer present Baxter’s writings in order to comfort, instruct, and strengthen all who struggle with depression.
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some good points
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Life often looks so very different than we hoped or expected. Some events may simply catch us off guard for a season, but others shatter us completely. We feel disappointed and disillusioned at best and overwhelmed and hopeless at worst. We quietly start to wonder about the reality of God’s goodness and why he allows us to suffer and experience grief and loss. Lysa TerKeurst understands this deeply. But after many tears, godly counseling, and prayerful seeking, she's also discovered that our disappointments can be the divine appointments our souls need to radically encounter God.
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Recovering from Emotionally Immature Parents
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In this important sequel to Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, author Lindsay Gibson offers powerful tools to help you step back and protect yourself at the first sign of an emotional takeover, make sure your emotions and needs are respected, and break free from the coercive control of emotionally immature parents.
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Asinine
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Don't Give the Enemy a Seat at Your Table
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The Enemy is constantly seeking to fill your mind with destructive and harmful thoughts - whether of fear, worry, insecurity, anxiety, temptation, envy.... It’s all too easy for Satan to manipulate his way into a seat at the table intended for only you and Jesus, and to try making himself at home in your mind. It’s an ongoing battle, but one you can win! Best-selling author and pastor Louie Giglio shares practical ways to overcome the Enemy’s lies and instead find peace and security in any challenging circumstance or situation.
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amazing!!!
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What listeners say about I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die
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Overall
- Virgil Nisly
- 11-05-21
It's ok to struggle!
"our faith is not based on the actions of God, but rather the character of God"
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1 person found this helpful
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- Anonymous User
- 05-17-21
Breathtakingly beautiful and raw
If you are someone who has struggled with mental illness or maybe you’ve walked along side someone who has than this book is for you. I Love Jesus, But I want to Die is breathtakingly raw, Sarah’s ability to open up about her experience is beautiful and brave. I feel that mental health has been a taboo topic in the churches for far too long. Sarah brings us into her world of suffering and hope: showing us that it’s okay to struggle with depression and that you’re not alone. You are not a disappointment and you are worthy. Absolutely a must read, I cannot thank Sarah enough for putting her story out there for all to hear, she is a blessing and I believe that this book is going to change a lot of lives.
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3 people found this helpful
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Overall
- Marjorie
- 09-09-22
First book I've finished in a long time
Truly heart warming, touching, and insightful. Sarah provides great tools to help to navigate mental illness with the understanding that this is not a one-stop, microwave process. It was inspiring and lovingly told. Thank you for sharing your experience so vulnerably.
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- MAC
- 04-11-23
Ok for awhile, just didn't click
A female author would of course write an extremely female focused book that left me hitting the 10 second forward button couple times an hour. Told myself I bought the book so I'm gonna find some value for me. Thought it might still have something that clicks. Just got so psych, with a little bible tossed in, gimmicky I had to stop halfway through when a paragraph just hit me so wrong I rolled my eyes and huffed. Not for me.
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