-
I'm Not Gonna Lie
- And Other Lies You Tell When You Turn 50
- Narrated by: George Lopez
- Length: 5 hrs and 40 mins
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Publisher's summary
From one of the most celebrated and beloved comedians and actors of our time, George Lopez, comes this hilarious, touching, and often wacky chronicle of life after 50.
George Lopez just hit the half-century mark and the reset button on his life. Newly single and ready to embrace life, George was excited to turn 50. It would be a welcome new phase in his life, a chance to say goodbye to a decade that included a kidney transplant and a divorce. But when he looked around a room full of his childhood friends, all gathered to celebrate his birthday, many now bald or overweight, it suddenly hit him that he was old.
What happened? And more importantly, what was he going to do about it? George learns the hard way that when you turn 50, everything changes. You pull a muscle in your sleep. You avoid mirrors at all costs, and always, always wear a robe. You have to schedule an appointment to have sex. You have to dye your hair and buy a bathtub with a door.
As George learns to embrace life after 50, he invites listeners into his world, sharing the ups and downs of getting older - from his relationship with a much younger woman to a bizarre session with a pet psychic, to a trip behind the scenes at his tumultuous two years at Lopez Tonight, to an intimate look at his sacred ground, the golf course - and, for the first time, he reveals in moving detail, the story of the battle for his life against kidney disease.
I’m Not Gonna Lie will make you laugh at yourself, cry about yourself, and look at turning 50 in a way you never would’ve imagined - through the eyes of George Lopez.
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Clinton Kelly is probably best known for teaching women how to make their butts look smaller. But in I Hate Everyone, Except You, he reveals some heretofore unknown secrets about himself, like that he's a finicky connoisseur of 1980s pornography, a disillusioned critic of New Jersey's premier water parks, and perhaps the world's least enthused high school commencement speaker.
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Filthy language overshadowed stories
- By Doris on 04-29-17
By: Clinton Kelly
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Everything Is Awful
- And Other Observations
- By: Matt Bellassai
- Narrated by: Matt Bellassai
- Length: 6 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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From the break-out star of BuzzFeed and the People's Choice Award-winning comedian comes a collection of hilariously anguished essays chronicling awful moments from his life so far, the humiliations of being an adult, and other little indignities. Matt Bellassai has no idea what he's doing. Well, to be fair, he did become semi-Internet famous by getting drunk at work, making him a socially-acceptable - nay - professional alcoholic. He's got some things figured out. But the rest is all just a terrible, disgusting mess.
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Best Audio Book I’ve heard ever.
- By M on 11-23-17
By: Matt Bellassai
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Sister, Sister
- By: Eric Jerome Dickey
- Narrated by: Sisi Aisha Johnson, Patricia R Floyd, Susan Spain
- Length: 8 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Join three beautiful young women, Valeria, Inda, and Chiquita, as they look for Mr. Right in the bright lights of L.A. Gutsy, graphic, and full of sensual energy, Sister, Sister is Dickey at his best.
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Sister Sister is Sensational!
- By Thomas on 04-06-08
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Missing Links
- By: Rick Reilly
- Narrated by: Bronson Pinchot
- Length: 8 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Missing Links is the story of four middle-class buddies who live outside Boston and play golf together at Ponkaquogue Municipal Golf Links and Deli, not so fondly known as Ponky. An 18-hole garbage dump with hazards that include a concrete river surrounded by a chain-link fence and the pillars of the elevated train that runs through the course, it is reputed to be the worst golf course in America.
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"F" word is pervalent in the story...
- By Todd and Gabriela on 09-04-11
By: Rick Reilly
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Purple Hearts
- A Novel
- By: Tess Wakefield
- Narrated by: Kyle Mason, Shayna Thibodeaux
- Length: 10 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Cassie Salazar and Luke Morrow couldn't be more different. Sharp-witted Cassie works nights at a bar in Austin, Texas, to make ends meet while pursuing her dream of becoming a singer/songwriter. Luke is an army trainee, about to ship out for duty, who finds comfort in the unswerving discipline of service. But a chance encounter at Cassie's bar changes the course of both their lives.
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RATING PURPLE HEARTS BOOK VS PURPLE HEARTS MOVIE
- By Rozzy on 02-05-23
By: Tess Wakefield
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This Raging Light
- By: Estelle Laure
- Narrated by: Sandy Rustin
- Length: 5 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Lucille seems to have nothing going for her. With the bills piling in, the house falling apart around her, and her sister's growing distress, it is precisely the worst possible moment for Lucille to fall recklessly in love with her best friend's twin brother, Digby, who is practically engaged.
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Amazing Loving and Sexy
- By Princess Lucy on 12-28-17
By: Estelle Laure
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I'm Down
- A Memoir
- By: Mishna Wolff
- Narrated by: Mishna Wolff
- Length: 8 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Mishna Wolff grew up in a poor black neighborhood with her single father, a white man who truly believed he was black. "He strutted around with a short perm, a Cosby-esque sweater, gold chains and a Kangol---telling jokes like Redd Fox, and giving advice like Jesse Jackson. You couldn't tell my father he was white. Believe me, I tried," writes Wolff. And so from early childhood on, her father began his crusade to make his white daughter down.
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I stopped listening an hour in....
- By Casey on 11-07-09
By: Mishna Wolff
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If I am Missing or Dead
- A Sister's Story of Love, Murder, and Liberation
- By: Janine Latus
- Narrated by: Shelly Frasier
- Length: 8 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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In April 2002, Janine Latus' youngest sister, Amy, wrote a note and taped it to the inside of her desk drawer. "Today Ron Ball and I are romantically involved", it read, "but I fear I have placed myself at risk in a variety of ways. Based on his criminal past, writing this out just seems like the smart thing to do. If I am missing or dead this obviously has not protected me...."
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All About Janine
- By Ellen on 07-02-07
By: Janine Latus
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Checked
- By: Cynthia Kadohata
- Narrated by: John Kroft
- Length: 7 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Hockey is Conor's life. His whole life. He'll say it himself, he's a hockey beast. It's his dad's whole life too - and Conor is sure that's why his stepmom, Jenny, left. There are very few things Conor and his dad love more than the game, and one of those things is their Doberman, Sinbad. When Sinbad is diagnosed with cancer, Conor chooses to put his hockey lessons and practices on hold so they can pay for Sinbad's chemotherapy. But without hockey to distract him, Conor begins to notice more. Like his dad's crying bouts, and his friend's difficult family life.
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Best Book
- By Patrick Smith on 01-30-24
By: Cynthia Kadohata
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The Death of Cool
- From Teenage Rebellion to the Hangover of Adulthood
- By: Gavin McInnes
- Narrated by: Gavin McInnes
- Length: 7 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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This is his story, or, rather, stories - lots of them, and all gut-punchingly hilarious, from that first far reach into a girl's tight jeans to turning forty with a cataclysmic party. In between you’ll hear about acid trips, threesomes, Nazi skinheads, his band Anal Chinook (Inuit for “warm wind”), Martians in northern Canada, throwing pedophiles in jail, dinner with the Clash, what happens when you crash Bill Maher's show wasted, and the true story of Vice magazine.
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if you don't buy this book, the terrorists win
- By Kelsey Gholi on 04-03-17
By: Gavin McInnes
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Lawn Boy
- By: Jonathan Evison
- Narrated by: P. J. Ochlan
- Length: 8 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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For Mike Muñoz, a young Chicano living in Washington State, life has been a whole lot of waiting for something to happen. Not too many years out of high school and still doing menial work - and just fired from his latest gig as a lawn boy on a landscaping crew - he knows that he's got to be the one to shake things up if he's ever going to change his life. But how?
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CATEGORY AND SUMMARY MISLEADING
- By Gretchen on 05-01-18
By: Jonathan Evison
What listeners say about I'm Not Gonna Lie
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- nellie
- 11-10-15
Very Funny!!
Great audio book, I like the fact it was Mr. Lopez narrating his book. It was funny & it gives an insight of his life. Great read highly recommend it.
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- domonick towns
- 06-26-23
George Lopez is the goat
I'm Not Gonna Lie" is a true testament to George Lopez's talent as a comedian, writer, and storyteller. It is a must-read for anyone who appreciates the power of laughter, introspection, and the beauty of embracing one's true self. Whether you're a longtime fan or new to Lopez's work, this book will leave an indelible mark on your heart and a smile on your face.
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- David
- 04-21-16
great
If you could sum up I'm Not Gonna Lie in three words, what would they be?
funny was good enjoyed the life story i got this
What other book might you compare I'm Not Gonna Lie to and why?
stories
Have you listened to any of George Lopez’s other performances before? How does this one compare?
watched
Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?
his life story was great
Any additional comments?
enjoyed listening
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1 person found this helpful
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- Roland Soto
- 05-20-17
Very true to life.
Great start slow middle great finish. Made me laugh out loud. I have listened to it again and again
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- GeekFreak, Prime Member
- 08-01-16
Funny and entertaining
I really enjoyed this book, especially listening to it read by George himself. He tells it like it is and I really enjoyed that. It's a good listen for moments you are just looking for a little entertainment.
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- A. Phipps
- 04-26-14
I'm Not Gonna Lie: This Book Was GREAT!!!!
What made the experience of listening to I'm Not Gonna Lie the most enjoyable?
The open and honest stories and perspective that George shared
Have you listened to any of George Lopez’s other performances before? How does this one compare?
This book inspired me to not only see him in concert, but to purchase his other previous book
Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?
I couldn't listen all in one sitting. This book was too long, but I picked it up whenever and wherever I could.
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- FELIPE AGUIRRE
- 05-24-18
laughed
I really enjoyed the story had me laughing and thinking about my own life try it.
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- Daniel
- 06-26-13
I'm Not Gonna Lie
Would you listen to I'm Not Gonna Lie again? Why?
Yes I would, it is a fun listen and funny.
What did you like best about this story?
He does not hold back, does not censor himself; or even try to put himself in a 'pure' light
Which character – as performed by George Lopez – was your favorite?
It's an autobiography, there are no characters other than George Lopez.
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- Steve and Patty Atkinson
- 06-06-24
It was based on his real life!
Love George and the way he presents Life issues, He comes from a real neighborhood ❤️
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- Anonymous User
- 07-21-18
Unfunny, boring, trash reading
Would not recommend to anyone. George is not funny. Most of it is complaining about his mess ups in his life. He clearly has family issues that he never got over, even though he's about 60. He tries to be funny at times but his internal anger gets in the way. I wasted money and time on this book. I wish I could get a refund but no one can ever get my time back. Buyer beware.
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