
Low-Demand Parenting
Dropping Demands, Restoring Calm, and Finding Connection with Your Uniquely Wired Child
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Narrated by:
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Lauryn Allman
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By:
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Amanda Diekman
About this listen
Short, easily digestible guide for parents on how to reduce family conflict by dropping unnecessary demands from daily life to help neurodivergent families to thrive.
"Low-demand parenting requires radical acceptance. It says to the kid right in front of you, I see you, just as you are. - You are ok here. I love you right here."
Parent to neurodivergent children and autistic adult Amanda Diekman outlines a parenting approach that finally lowers the bar for the whole family, enabling the equilibrium of the home to be restored.
Low-demand parenting allows you to drop the demands and expectations that are making family life impossible and embrace the joyful freedom of living life with low demands. It can be a particularly effective approach for children with high anxiety levels including neurodivergent children. Amanda talks from experience and teaches you how to identify what the big, tiny and invisible demands are for your own child and gives you the step-by-step instructions on how to drop them.
Full of practical resources and scripts that are easy to implement in busy everyday life, this book is your flashlight and your map to parenting your uniquely wired child. It will not tell you where to go, but it will help you find your way so you and your family thrive.
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
©2023 Amanda Diekman (P)2023 Jessica Kingsley PublishersListeners also enjoyed...
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Story
Diagnosed with pathological demand avoidance (PDA) in his teenage years, Harry Thompson looks back with wit and humour at the ups and downs of family and romantic relationships, school, work and mental health, as well as his teenage struggle with drugs and alcohol. By embracing neurodiversity and emphasising that autistic people are not flawed human beings, Thompson demonstrates that some merely need to take the 'scenic route' in order to flourish and reach their full potential.
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A great resource for PDAers & their loved ones
- By Rochelle Esser on 12-18-21
By: Harry Thompson, and others
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Understanding Pathological Demand Avoidance Syndrome in Children
- A Guide for Parents, Teachers and Other Professionals
- By: Margaret Duncan, Zara Healy, Ruth Fidler, and others
- Narrated by: John Telfer
- Length: 7 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Straightforward guide to understanding PDA for anyone needing an overview of the condition. Pathological Demand Avoidance Syndrome (PDA) is a developmental disorder that is being increasingly recognised as part of the autism spectrum. The main characteristic is a continued resistance to the ordinary demands of life through strategies of social manipulation, which originates from an anxiety-driven need to be in control.
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This is the one!!!
- By notabaldpainter on 08-09-21
By: Margaret Duncan, and others
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Your Child Is Not Broken
- Parent Your Neurodivergent Child Without Losing Your Marbles
- By: Heidi Mavir
- Narrated by: Heidi Mavir
- Length: 3 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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An unapologetic, deeply moving manual for parents of neurodivergent children from Heidi Mavir, a late-identified, neurodivergent adult and parent to an autistic/ADHD teenager. This updated edition includes information on Pathological Demand Avoidance, Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria, an interview with Heidi's son Theo and more. Follow Heidi's irreverent and brutally honest story of her fight to be seen, heard and supported, while swimming against a tide of parent blame, ableist stereotypes and the weight of other people’s opinions.
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F$&kery is my new favorite word
- By Alicia on 09-20-24
By: Heidi Mavir
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Co-Regulation Handbook
- Creating Competent, Authentic Roles for Kids with Social Learning Differences, So We All Stay Positively Connected Through the Ups and Downs of Learning
- By: Linda K. Murphy
- Narrated by: Elsa Levytsky
- Length: 2 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Do you know a child who struggles to get started with things or who resists trying something new? Maybe they argue or have trouble joining other kids in conversation and play. Do you hear yourself prompting your child again and again? Do you feel frustrated or stuck, and long for a better way - a more positive way - to engage your child while guiding them toward independence? This book was written for parents, caregivers, professionals, and more - to guide you on how to move away from prompting and prodding kids - and toward authentic connections and competent roles.
By: Linda K. Murphy
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The Educator’s Experience of Pathological Demand Avoidance
- A Guide to Pathological Demand Avoidance and Learning
- By: Eliza Fricker - illustrator, Laura Kerbey
- Length: 1 hr and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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With an introduction to what PDA is followed by PDA tailored advice on how to connect with your student and create an autonomous, spontaneous environment that is personalised for you both, this guide is here to ensure that you and your PDA student thrive! Packed with entertaining anecdotes (including one about Jabba the Hut's poo), this go-to-guide contains everything you need to start implementing PDA friendly learning to help you connect with your student and help them make the most of their learning experience.
By: Eliza Fricker - illustrator, and others
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Calm the Chaos
- A Failproof Road Map for Parenting Even the Most Challenging Kids
- By: Dayna Abraham
- Narrated by: Dayna Abraham
- Length: 9 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Strong-willed, spirited, explosive, and highly sensitive are just a few of the most common labels for challenging kids. Whether your child has been diagnosed with a behavioral condition, labeled, or is just harder than other children you’ve met, you are in luck. Parenting expert, Dayna Abraham is here to help. Calm the Chaos is a clearly organized, methodical approach to parenting. Dayna has created a road map to help parents find peace and meet their kids where they are at when conventional parenting tools have failed.
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Great book that also covers neurodivergent parents and neurodivergent children
- By Jason on 02-18-24
By: Dayna Abraham
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Pathological Demand Avoidance
- By: Centre of Excellence
- Narrated by: Jane Branch
- Length: 2 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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A pervasive developmental disorder that is common in individuals on the autistic spectrum, pathological demand avoidance (PDA) is characterized by an avoidance of demand-framed requests by an individual and causes difficulties with social communication and interaction with others. Listen to the Pathological Demand Avoidance audiobook and you’ll learn support structures and effective strategies to aid young children and adolescents with the condition.
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Finally! An audiocourse on PDA within ASD!
- By Shannon E Kopacz on 12-11-18
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Differently Wired
- Raising an Exceptional Child in a Conventional World
- By: Deborah Reber
- Narrated by: Deborah Reber
- Length: 8 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Today millions of kids are stuck in a world that doesn't respect, support, or embrace who they really are - these are what Deborah Reber is calling the “differently wired” kids, the one in five children with ADHD, dyslexia, Asperger’s, and other neurodifferences. Their challenges are many. But now there’s hope. Written by Deborah Reber, a best-selling author and mother in the midst of an eye-opening journey with her son who is twice exceptional (he has ADHD, Asperger’s, and is highly gifted), Differently Wired is a how-to, a manifesto, a book of wise advice, and more.
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very well thought out but not for everyone
- By Trudy Owens on 01-01-19
By: Deborah Reber
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Brain-Body Parenting
- How to Stop Managing Behavior and Start Raising Joyful, Resilient Kids
- By: Mona Delahooke
- Narrated by: Emily Ellet
- Length: 10 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Over her decades as a clinical psychologist, Dr. Mona Delahooke has routinely counseled distraught parents who struggle to manage their children’s challenging, sometimes oppositional behaviors. These families are understandably focused on correcting or improving a child’s lack of compliance, emotional outbursts, tantrums, and other “out of control” behavior. But, as she has shared with these families, a perspective shift is needed. Behavior, no matter how challenging, is not the problem but a symptom; a clue about what is happening in a child’s unique physiologic makeup.
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Groundbreaking
- By bug on 05-16-22
By: Mona Delahooke
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The Explosive Child
- A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children
- By: Dr. Ross W. Greene
- Narrated by: Dr. Ross W. Greene
- Length: 2 hrs and 38 mins
- Abridged
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Dr. Ross Greene, a distinguished clinician and pioneer in the treatment of kids with social, emotional, and behavioral challenges, has worked with thousands of explosive children, and he has good news: these kids aren't attentionseeking, manipulative, or unmotivated, and their parents aren't passive, permissive disciplinarians. Rather, explosive kids are lacking some crucial skills in the domains of flexibility/adaptability, frustration tolerance, and problem solving, and they require a different approach.
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I started to cry....and this Dad doesn't do that
- By Jj on 02-26-15
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Sincerely, Your Autistic Child
- What People on the Autism Spectrum Wish Their Parents Knew About Growing Up, Acceptance, and Identity
- By: Emily Paige Ballou, Sharon daVanport, Morénike Giwa Onaiwu, and others
- Narrated by: Stephanie Mounce
- Length: 6 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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A diverse collection of autistic voices that highlights how parents can avoid common mistakes and misconceptions, and make their child feel truly accepted, valued, and celebrated for who they are. Most resources available for parents come from psychologists, educators, and doctors, offering parents a narrow and technical approach to autism. Sincerely, Your Autistic Child represents an authentic resource for parents written by autistic people themselves.
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Excludes cis-gendered boys
- By Alyssa Snider on 11-30-22
By: Emily Paige Ballou, and others
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Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors
- Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies That Really Work
- By: Robyn Gobbel
- Narrated by: Robyn Gobbel
- Length: 9 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Parenting and neuroscience expert Robyn Gobbel is here to reveal how all behavior, no matter how baffling, can be explained and remedied. You just need to look past the behavior and understand what's going on inside. Robyn decodes the latest brain science into easy-to-understand principles and metaphors to help you become an expert in your child's behavior. She reveals simple ways to help you regulate and connect with your child, with brain-, body- and sensory-based strategies to overcome day-to-day challenges.
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Just wish it never ended!
- By Rebecca Sgambati on 04-12-25
By: Robyn Gobbel
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The Autistic Survival Guide to Therapy
- By: Steph Jones
- Narrated by: Collette Byrne
- Length: 6 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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In this candid, witty and insightful exploration into therapy, Steph Jones uses her professional and lived experiences as a late diagnosed autistic woman and therapist, as well as consulting therapists from across the world and tapping into the autistic community, to create the ultimate autistic survival guide to therapy. Steph confronts the statistics, inadequate practices and ableist therapists head on and poses the questions of how we can make therapy neurodivergence-affirming and how to create safe spaces for autistic individuals.
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Underrated Book
- By Steven Huynh on 04-20-24
By: Steph Jones
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I Will Die on This Hill
- Autistic Adults, Autism Parents, and the Children Who Deserve a Better World
- By: Meghan Ashburn, Jules Edwards, Morénike Giwa Onaiwu - foreword, and others
- Narrated by: Meghan Ashburn, Jules Edwards, Jillian Nelson
- Length: 7 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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There is a significant divide between autistic advocates and parents of autistic children. Parents may feel attacked for their lack of understanding, and autistic adults who offer insight and guidance are also met with hostility and rejection. Meghan Ashburn, a mother of two autistic boys, and Jules Edwards, an autistic parent, were no strangers to this tension and had an adversarial relationship when they first met. Over time, the two resolved their differences and are now co-conspirators in the pursuit of disability justice.
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I needed to hear this!
- By John Clotfelter on 09-06-23
By: Meghan Ashburn, and others
What listeners say about Low-Demand Parenting
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- Caitlin Davies
- 12-26-23
Progressive positive future
I like the last parts about what’s going on internally of the parent and how that also affected her relationship with her husband.
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- mom of many
- 09-26-23
Wish I had this years ago
I feel seen and have a renewed feeling of I can do this (parenting my 5 autistic adult children) as I see a light of hope to sift things that are currently not really working.
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- Sarah B
- 02-18-24
Thank you
Thank you. For putting this out there for us to find. Thank you for teaching, comforting & inspiring us. We aren’t alone anymore.
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- Amazon Customer
- 11-01-23
Such a great listen
Thanks Amanda for taking the time to write this and in doing so making all of us on this parenting journey feel less alone. I feel so optimistic and hopeful after this. My square pegs will have an unapologetically square home.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Sinta Borland
- 07-21-23
I Could Go On and On
From the beginning, this book engages you as Amanda, an undiagnosed Autistic mother shares her own story and instantly becomes someone who I felt, knows and understands the challenges of a PDA children
… no more shame, blame or judgement. She shares how to look at demands… and a low-demand parenting technique allows everyone’s stress to lessen.
Setting the traditional methods of parent/child interaction aside and realizing that there is another way and better way to have a relationship with your PDA child that is much more harmonious makes me want to cry… and at the same time hug Amanda Diekman for making this book available to us all.
To set aside the rewards and punishments philosophy that we grew up with and take a breath… and embrace the idea that your child is doing the best they can all the time… and for that matter… you are doing your best, as well creates a new playing field and an acceptance that rises above the good and bad thought system. This gives a way forward to practice loving kindness to ourselves and in turn to our uniquely wired PDA child. They need our trust and acceptance right where they are. Everything builds upon that. It is and it isn’t an easy first step… but it is a basic place to start.
I had a preview copy of the book and knew I needed the audio version because there was so much practical content that I will be relistening to this book again and again. This is a powerful guidebook that takes us from that first step and leads the path to finding a deep connection for your child to navigate their world feeling safe within the home and in turn outside of the home environment. It will be work and even hard work in the beginning. I can’t recommend this book enough.
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- L. B.
- 09-24-23
This book is the missing piece; it is deeply needed
This book articulates what we have all been missing. The examples set forth here would benefit parents of ALL kids, but those who are raising neurodivergent kids need this message now. This book elaborates on what is often the toughest part of Ross Greene’s collaborative problem solving. This book is the lens change; it is how to start with Plan C. (Not so simple!!!) It outlines the healing of the parents that is absolutely crucial for any collaborative, connected family system to exist. It works well in tandem with Collaborative & Proactive Solutions, and it’s advice has been transformative.
HIGHLY recommend.
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- normal person
- 10-24-23
very insightful
learned a lot and never considered about low demand parenting style before. hope it helps some parents
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- Mary Davis
- 12-29-23
Parenting with understanding.
My 16 year old granddaughter has recently been diagnosed with PDA. The correct diagnosis was a looooong time coming. Everything makes sense now. Now to figure out how to help her fit into those Square holes. Actually finding square holes for her are not easy for her parents and is. This book helped me understand her a lot better. Thank you.
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- Massage girl 27
- 07-14-24
An uplifting parenting strategy when all else has failed
I'm a 41 yr old mom in burnout with adhd. I have 3 kids with adhd and autism. This book is such a breath of radical fresh air, while I drown in the grief of letting go of what I thought our story would look like. And the helplessness that comes with not knowing what to do. And the stress & exhaustion of trying to make it through the unknowns while protecting my kids from wrong therapies. I pushed for them to have the support I didn't get. Very rarely finding neuro-affirming care that my kids so badly needed. This book offered help right where I need it. It got a little bit wordy, but I appreciate her vulnerability and highly recommend if you are feeling disconnected in any relationship. Thank you Low Demand Amanda! :)
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- krystal
- 08-07-23
I’m not crying, your crying…
Gah this book is exactly what I needed! I feel so validated. This book is for anyone who has a kid that struggles with typical world expectations. ADHD, PTSD, ASD, SPD… doesn’t matter just give it a listen.
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