Low-Demand Parenting
Dropping Demands, Restoring Calm, and Finding Connection with Your Uniquely Wired Child
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Narrated by:
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Lauryn Allman
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By:
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Amanda Diekman
About this listen
Short, easily digestible guide for parents on how to reduce family conflict by dropping unnecessary demands from daily life to help neurodivergent families to thrive.
"Low-demand parenting requires radical acceptance. It says to the kid right in front of you, I see you, just as you are. - You are ok here. I love you right here."
Parent to neurodivergent children and autistic adult Amanda Diekman outlines a parenting approach that finally lowers the bar for the whole family, enabling the equilibrium of the home to be restored.
Low-demand parenting allows you to drop the demands and expectations that are making family life impossible and embrace the joyful freedom of living life with low demands. It can be a particularly effective approach for children with high anxiety levels including neurodivergent children. Amanda talks from experience and teaches you how to identify what the big, tiny and invisible demands are for your own child and gives you the step-by-step instructions on how to drop them.
Full of practical resources and scripts that are easy to implement in busy everyday life, this book is your flashlight and your map to parenting your uniquely wired child. It will not tell you where to go, but it will help you find your way so you and your family thrive.
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
©2023 Amanda Diekman (P)2023 Jessica Kingsley PublishersListeners also enjoyed...
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Parenting Without Power Struggles
- Raising Joyful, Resilient Kids While Staying Cool, Calm, and Connected
- By: Susan Stiffelman
- Narrated by: Susan Stiffelman
- Length: 8 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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While most parenting programs are designed to coerce kids to change, Parenting Without Power Struggles does something innovative, showing you how to help your children awaken their natural instincts to cooperate, rather than employing threats or bribes, which inevitably fuels their resistance. By staying calm and being the confident "captain of the ship" your child needs, you will learn how to parent from a place of strong, durable connection, and you'll be better able to help your kids navigate the challenging moments of growing up.
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Highly recommended.
- By Nothing really matters on 10-13-13
By: Susan Stiffelman
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Simplicity Parenting
- Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids
- By: Kim John Payne, Lisa M. Ross
- Narrated by: Arthur Morey
- Length: 9 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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From internationally renowned family consultant Kim John Payne comes an eloquent guide that seeks to help parents reclaim for their children the space and freedom that all kids need for their individuality to flourish.
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A worthwhile listen for new parents
- By Kathy K on 07-30-12
By: Kim John Payne, and others
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I Want This to Work
- An Inclusive Guide to Navigating the Most Difficult Relationship Issues We Face in the Modern Age
- By: Elizabeth Earnshaw LMFT CGT
- Narrated by: Elizabeth Earnshaw LMFT CGT
- Length: 9 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Elizabeth Earnshaw is here to help. The renowned Gottman therapist, founder of A Better Life Therapy, and influential Instagram therapist behind @lizlistens has helped to transform countless relationships. With I Want This to Work, she presents for today’s generation the most effective and proven steps for relationship success.
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I want this to work too. Excellent information, excruciating execution
- By Sunny Bettley on 03-17-23
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How Toddlers Thrive
- What Parents Can Do Today for Children Ages 2-5 to Plant the Seeds of Lifelong Success
- By: Tovah P. Klein PhD
- Narrated by: Tovah P. Klein PhD, Sarah Jessica Parker - foreword
- Length: 10 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Why do some children thrive and others struggle? The answers may surprise you. New research indicates that the seeds for adult success are actually planted in the toddler years. Dr. Tovah Klein's research and firsthand work with thousands of toddlers explains why the toddler brain is best suited to laying the foundation for success. Dr. Klein reveals the new science behind drivers such as resilience, self-reliance, self-regulation, and empathy that are more critical to success than simple intelligence.
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Redundant
- By odotwu on 05-08-18
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Now Say This
- The Right Words to Solve Every Parenting Dilemma
- By: Heather Turgeon MFT, Julie Wright MFT
- Narrated by: Heather Turgeon MFT, Julie Wright MFT
- Length: 7 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Now Say This guides parents through a highly practical three-step approach to effectively communicating with children called ALP. It also discusses the power of words in all of our daily conversations. Each chapter addresses a different aspect of parenting and includes actual scripts and precise language for parents to use to set limits with empathy and to use conversations as opportunities for learning. Language is powerful, and the exact words, tone, and nonverbal communication parents use when trying to move through a sticky moment with their child means everything.
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Lots of useful examples
- By Christiane on 04-22-19
By: Heather Turgeon MFT, and others
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Social Justice Parenting
- How to Raise Compassionate, Anti-Racist, Justice-Minded Kids in an Unjust World
- By: Traci Baxley
- Narrated by: Traci Baxley
- Length: 6 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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As a global pandemic shuttered schools across the country in 2020, parents found themselves thrust into the role of teacher — in more ways than one. Not only did they take on remote school supervision, but after the murder of George Floyd and the ensuing Black Lives Matter protests, many also grappled with the responsibility to teach their kids about social justice — with few resources to guide them.
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Inspiring, motivating, practical
- By Heather Janetzko on 03-18-24
By: Traci Baxley
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The Connected Child
- Bring Hope and Healing to Your Adoptive Family
- By: Karyn B. Purvis, David R. Cross, Wendy Lyons Sunshine
- Narrated by: Anna Crowe
- Length: 6 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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The adoption of a child is always a joyous moment in the life of a family. Some adoptions, though, present unique challenges. Welcoming these children into your family - and addressing their special needs - requires care, consideration, and compassion.
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Incredibly helpful
- By Amazon Customer on 08-12-21
By: Karyn B. Purvis, and others
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The Emotional Edge
- Discover Your Inner Age, Ignite Your Hidden Strengths, and Reroute Misdirected Fear to Live Your Fullest
- By: Crystal Andrus Morissette
- Narrated by: Andi Arndt
- Length: 9 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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The Emotional Edge is an exciting expansion of Crystal's successful brand - she has tackled weight management, confidence building, and spiritual growth; now she combines all that and more into her most powerful program yet. The Emotional Edge is a guide for letting go of the past and embracing a more empowered future. This audiobook is spiritual self-help designed to teach listeners how to overcome behavioral ruts and engage the world from a happier, more empowered place.
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the world needs more of this.
- By Amber Jessop on 11-25-17
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Autism Breakthrough
- The Groundbreaking Method That Has Helped Families All over the World
- By: Raun K. Kaufman
- Narrated by: Raun K. Kaufman
- Length: 8 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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As a boy, Raun Kaufman was diagnosed by multiple experts as severely autistic, with an IQ below 30, and destined to spend his life in an institution. Years later, Raun graduated with a degree in biomedical ethics from Brown University and has become a passionate and articulate autism expert and educator with no trace of his former condition. Thanks to the Son-Rise Program, a revolutionary method created by his parents, Raun experienced a full recovery from autism.
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A great approach.
- By DNP on 12-01-16
By: Raun K. Kaufman
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Toddler Discipline for Every Age and Stage
- Effective Strategies to Tame Tantrums, Overcome Challenges, and Help Your Child Grow
- By: Aubrey Hargis
- Narrated by: Courtney Patterson
- Length: 3 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Toddlers are constantly changing, and they can easily become overwhelmed by it all. When faced with the meltdowns that toddlers are famous for, it can be difficult to know which toddler discipline techniques will best help your child grow into a stronger, kinder person. Toddler Discipline for Every Age and Stage delivers essential toddler discipline tools for dealing with day-to-day difficulties, and supporting your toddler as they learn the important lessons that will set them up for success.
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Succinct and easy to use
- By Diana on 09-29-20
By: Aubrey Hargis
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Slay Like a Mother
- How to Destroy What's Holding You Back So You Can Live the Life You Want
- By: Katherine Wintsch
- Narrated by: Katherine Wintsch
- Length: 8 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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In this emotionally charged how-to guide, you'll laugh, you'll cry, and you'll discover eye-opening lessons about: The mask you're wearing. The one you hide behind when you say everything is "just fine" when it's not. Your unrealistic expectations. The goal-setting tactics you're deploying to get ahead could be what's holding you back. The difference between struggling and suffering. Being a mother is a struggle - it always has been - but your suffering is optional.
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Great for dads too!
- By Earl Cox on 06-20-19
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The Gentle Sleep Book
- For Calm Babies, Toddlers and Pre-Schoolers
- By: Sarah Ockwell-Smith
- Narrated by: Katy Sobey
- Length: 8 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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The Gentle Sleep Book offers gentle, no-tears sleep solutions for exhausted parents of newborns to five-year-olds. A large percentage of parents find their young children's sleep - or lack of - challenging. This new audiobook from Sarah Ockwell-Smith, founder of BabyCalm, will be an indispensable guide for parents, whatever challenges they are facing with their child's sleep - from the day they bring their newborn home until their child is settled in at school.
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It's fine but not much about 2-4 years
- By Patrick on 02-12-18
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Overcoming Oppositional Defiant Disorder
- A Two-Part Treatment Plan to Help Parents and Kids Work Together
- By: Gina Atencio-MacLean PsyD
- Narrated by: Tiffany Morgan
- Length: 4 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Parenting a child with oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) is difficult, stressful, and often overwhelming. Overcoming Oppositional Defiant Disorder is the first child psychology book that sets you up for success by recognizing that taking care of your child starts with taking care of yourself.
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Need more specifics
- By Lee on 05-14-24
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Diagnosed with pathological demand avoidance (PDA) in his teenage years, Harry Thompson looks back with wit and humour at the ups and downs of family and romantic relationships, school, work and mental health, as well as his teenage struggle with drugs and alcohol. By embracing neurodiversity and emphasising that autistic people are not flawed human beings, Thompson demonstrates that some merely need to take the 'scenic route' in order to flourish and reach their full potential.
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A great resource for PDAers & their loved ones
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Do you know children who get upset when their routines change? They might also struggle to see the big picture, make friends, solve a problem in real time, and read nonverbal communication. Meltdowns, tantrums, and other challenging behaviors might be common. This audiobook was designed to teach you how making small shifts in your language and speaking style that will produce important results.
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Must read for kids with social difficulties!
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The Family Experience of PDA
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Eliza Fricker gets it. Describing her perfectly imperfect experience of raising a PDA child, with societal judgements and family pressures, she knows how easy it is to feel overwhelmed, resentful and alone. The Family Experience of PDA explains these challenging situations and emotions in a way that words simply cannot, bringing some much-needed levity back into PDA parenting.
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Navigating PDA in America
- A Framework to Support Anxious, Demand-Avoidant Autistic Children, Teens and Young Adults
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Although Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) has been a recognized autistic profile in the UK for some time, awareness is still growing in America. When parents first learn about it they talk about having a lightbulb moment of understanding their child better. Many described how, having found traditional parenting and behavioral techniques made things worse instead of better, they felt judged and alone. Teachers and school administrators also reported struggling to support their PDA students. The children, teens and young adults themselves were often left feeling misunderstood.
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Life Changing
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A Mirror to Our Journey: Insights into the PDA Experience
- By Goldie on 02-22-24
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Co-Regulation Handbook
- Creating Competent, Authentic Roles for Kids with Social Learning Differences, So We All Stay Positively Connected Through the Ups and Downs of Learning
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A great resource for PDAers & their loved ones
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Must read for kids with social difficulties!
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Eliza Fricker gets it. Describing her perfectly imperfect experience of raising a PDA child, with societal judgements and family pressures, she knows how easy it is to feel overwhelmed, resentful and alone. The Family Experience of PDA explains these challenging situations and emotions in a way that words simply cannot, bringing some much-needed levity back into PDA parenting.
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Navigating PDA in America
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An unapologetic, deeply moving manual for parents of neurodivergent children from Heidi Mavir, a late-identified, neurodivergent adult and parent to an autistic/ADHD teenager. This updated edition includes information on Pathological Demand Avoidance, Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria, an interview with Heidi's son Theo and more. Follow Heidi's irreverent and brutally honest story of her fight to be seen, heard and supported, while swimming against a tide of parent blame, ableist stereotypes and the weight of other people’s opinions.
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F$&kery is my new favorite word
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Strong-willed, spirited, explosive, and highly sensitive are just a few of the most common labels for challenging kids. Whether your child has been diagnosed with a behavioral condition, labeled, or is just harder than other children you’ve met, you are in luck. Parenting expert, Dayna Abraham is here to help. Calm the Chaos is a clearly organized, methodical approach to parenting. Dayna has created a road map to help parents find peace and meet their kids where they are at when conventional parenting tools have failed.
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Great book that also covers neurodivergent parents and neurodivergent children
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Understanding Pathological Demand Avoidance Syndrome in Children
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Straightforward guide to understanding PDA for anyone needing an overview of the condition. Pathological Demand Avoidance Syndrome (PDA) is a developmental disorder that is being increasingly recognised as part of the autism spectrum. The main characteristic is a continued resistance to the ordinary demands of life through strategies of social manipulation, which originates from an anxiety-driven need to be in control.
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This is the one!!!
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By: Margaret Duncan, and others
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The Educator’s Experience of Pathological Demand Avoidance
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With an introduction to what PDA is followed by PDA tailored advice on how to connect with your student and create an autonomous, spontaneous environment that is personalised for you both, this guide is here to ensure that you and your PDA student thrive! Packed with entertaining anecdotes (including one about Jabba the Hut's poo), this go-to-guide contains everything you need to start implementing PDA friendly learning to help you connect with your student and help them make the most of their learning experience.
By: Eliza Fricker - illustrator, and others
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Brain-Body Parenting
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Over her decades as a clinical psychologist, Dr. Mona Delahooke has routinely counseled distraught parents who struggle to manage their children’s challenging, sometimes oppositional behaviors. These families are understandably focused on correcting or improving a child’s lack of compliance, emotional outbursts, tantrums, and other “out of control” behavior. But, as she has shared with these families, a perspective shift is needed. Behavior, no matter how challenging, is not the problem but a symptom; a clue about what is happening in a child’s unique physiologic makeup.
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Groundbreaking
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Adventuring Together
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Parents today complain of fragmented relationships with their kids. What parents yearn for - and their kids too - is deep, heart-to-heart connections. But how can parents compete with all the other noise fighting for their kids' attention? The answer, says Greta Eskridge, is to break free from regular routines and familiar comforts of home to experience new places and adventures - even if those adventures go awry. From simply reading a book together to going on an overnight backpacking trip, activities together provide unique and crucial bonding opportunities.
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Inspiring book filled with tools
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Through this audiobook, Rachel offers hope and encouragement to moms feeling overwhelmed by life's twists and turns. Her vulnerable and authentic voice will inspire mothers to embrace their imperfections and find joy at each stage of motherhood.
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Self-Reg
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Self-Reg is a groundbreaking book that presents an entirely new understanding of your child's emotions and behavior and serves as a practical guide for parents to help their kids engage calmly and successfully in learning and life. Rooted in decades of clinical practice and research by leading child psychologist Dr. Stuart Shanker, Self-Reg realigns the power of the parent-child relationship for positive change.
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Phenomenal
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Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors
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- Unabridged
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Parenting and neuroscience expert Robyn Gobbel is here to reveal how all behavior, no matter how baffling, can be explained and remedied. You just need to look past the behavior and understand what's going on inside. Robyn decodes the latest brain science into easy-to-understand principles and metaphors to help you become an expert in your child's behavior. She reveals simple ways to help you regulate and connect with your child, with brain-, body- and sensory-based strategies to overcome day-to-day challenges.
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Fabulous book
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By: Robyn Gobbel
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A Parent's Guide to High-Functioning Autism Spectrum Disorder (Second Edition)
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- By: Sally Ozonoff, Geraldine Dawson, James C. McPartland
- Narrated by: Kathleen Godwin
- Length: 9 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Many tens of thousands of parents have found the facts they need about high-functioning autism spectrum disorder (ASD), including Asperger's syndrome, in this indispensable guide. Leading experts show how you can work with your child's unique impairments—and harness his or her capabilities. Vivid stories and real-world examples illustrate ways to help kids with ASD relate more comfortably to peers, learn the rules of appropriate behavior, and succeed in school. You'll learn how ASD is diagnosed and what treatments and educational supports really work.
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Appropriate
- By MSGPD on 12-19-19
By: Sally Ozonoff, and others
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I Will Die on This Hill
- Autistic Adults, Autism Parents, and the Children Who Deserve a Better World
- By: Meghan Ashburn, Jules Edwards, Morénike Giwa Onaiwu - foreword, and others
- Narrated by: Meghan Ashburn, Jules Edwards, Jillian Nelson
- Length: 7 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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There is a significant divide between autistic advocates and parents of autistic children. Parents may feel attacked for their lack of understanding, and autistic adults who offer insight and guidance are also met with hostility and rejection. Meghan Ashburn, a mother of two autistic boys, and Jules Edwards, an autistic parent, were no strangers to this tension and had an adversarial relationship when they first met. Over time, the two resolved their differences and are now co-conspirators in the pursuit of disability justice.
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I needed to hear this!
- By John Clotfelter on 09-06-23
By: Meghan Ashburn, and others
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When the Naughty Step Makes Things Worse
- Parenting for Children (and Adults) Who Need Something Different
- By: Dr. Naomi Fisher, Eliza Fricker
- Narrated by: Imogen Wilde, Katy Sobey
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This down-to-earth guide is for parents who need something different. It's for those who are fighting battles where they didn't know battles could be fought. It's for those who suspect that what they are doing isn't helping - but they don't know what else to do. It's for families who need a better way to live and who want their children (and themselves) to thrive.
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Excellent resource for PDA parents and teachers!
- By Kindle Customer on 12-06-24
By: Dr. Naomi Fisher, and others
What listeners say about Low-Demand Parenting
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- Caitlin Davies
- 12-26-23
Progressive positive future
I like the last parts about what’s going on internally of the parent and how that also affected her relationship with her husband.
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- mom of many
- 09-26-23
Wish I had this years ago
I feel seen and have a renewed feeling of I can do this (parenting my 5 autistic adult children) as I see a light of hope to sift things that are currently not really working.
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- Sarah B
- 02-18-24
Thank you
Thank you. For putting this out there for us to find. Thank you for teaching, comforting & inspiring us. We aren’t alone anymore.
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- Amazon Customer
- 11-01-23
Such a great listen
Thanks Amanda for taking the time to write this and in doing so making all of us on this parenting journey feel less alone. I feel so optimistic and hopeful after this. My square pegs will have an unapologetically square home.
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- Sinta Borland
- 07-21-23
I Could Go On and On
From the beginning, this book engages you as Amanda, an undiagnosed Autistic mother shares her own story and instantly becomes someone who I felt, knows and understands the challenges of a PDA children
… no more shame, blame or judgement. She shares how to look at demands… and a low-demand parenting technique allows everyone’s stress to lessen.
Setting the traditional methods of parent/child interaction aside and realizing that there is another way and better way to have a relationship with your PDA child that is much more harmonious makes me want to cry… and at the same time hug Amanda Diekman for making this book available to us all.
To set aside the rewards and punishments philosophy that we grew up with and take a breath… and embrace the idea that your child is doing the best they can all the time… and for that matter… you are doing your best, as well creates a new playing field and an acceptance that rises above the good and bad thought system. This gives a way forward to practice loving kindness to ourselves and in turn to our uniquely wired PDA child. They need our trust and acceptance right where they are. Everything builds upon that. It is and it isn’t an easy first step… but it is a basic place to start.
I had a preview copy of the book and knew I needed the audio version because there was so much practical content that I will be relistening to this book again and again. This is a powerful guidebook that takes us from that first step and leads the path to finding a deep connection for your child to navigate their world feeling safe within the home and in turn outside of the home environment. It will be work and even hard work in the beginning. I can’t recommend this book enough.
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- L. B.
- 09-24-23
This book is the missing piece; it is deeply needed
This book articulates what we have all been missing. The examples set forth here would benefit parents of ALL kids, but those who are raising neurodivergent kids need this message now. This book elaborates on what is often the toughest part of Ross Greene’s collaborative problem solving. This book is the lens change; it is how to start with Plan C. (Not so simple!!!) It outlines the healing of the parents that is absolutely crucial for any collaborative, connected family system to exist. It works well in tandem with Collaborative & Proactive Solutions, and it’s advice has been transformative.
HIGHLY recommend.
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- krystal
- 08-07-23
I’m not crying, your crying…
Gah this book is exactly what I needed! I feel so validated. This book is for anyone who has a kid that struggles with typical world expectations. ADHD, PTSD, ASD, SPD… doesn’t matter just give it a listen.
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- Jm
- 11-22-24
I loved relationships over rules. Lots of grace for everyone including mom!!!
I know screen time worked for her and her family. science has proven screen time is not good for young brains. would like 2nd book with updates.❤️
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- Kaitlyn Callahan
- 12-10-24
It feels like a big hug
I’m not even a parent yet, just a married autistic person and sibling and auntie to other autistics. I’ve learned so many good strategies to improve my own life and my approach to my family and marriage from this book, and I sent it to my sister too. I wish I could hug the author, she’s helped me so much with this book.
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- normal person
- 10-24-23
very insightful
learned a lot and never considered about low demand parenting style before. hope it helps some parents
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