Calm the Chaos
A Failproof Road Map for Parenting Even the Most Challenging Kids
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Narrated by:
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Dayna Abraham
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By:
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Dayna Abraham
About this listen
A simple, fail-proof road map for parents raising even the most challenging children from the founder of the life-changing Calm the Chaos methodology and the Lemon Lime Adventures blog.
Strong-willed, spirited, explosive, and highly sensitive are just a few of the most common labels for challenging kids. Whether your child has been diagnosed with a behavioral condition, labeled, or is just harder than other children you’ve met, you are in luck. Parenting expert, Dayna Abraham is here to help.
Calm the Chaos is a clearly organized, methodical approach to parenting. Dayna has created a road map to help parents find peace and meet their kids where they are at when conventional parenting tools have failed. There are five steps to calming the chaos—Getting to Safety, Restoring Trust and Energy, Finding Calm in the Moment, Getting Ahead of the Moment, and Defining Family Success. Each step employs a framework that is easy to remember, even when emotions run high: you ground yourself, you connect with your kid, you work with them to understand the catalyst and the issue at the heart, and then together you get curious about finding an empowered solution.
Backed by science and tested by hundreds of thousands of families, Calm the Chaos is a revolutionary road map complete with in-the-trenches stories, scripts, and prompts that make it simple for parents to build a safe home and support healthy kids.
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The Gentle Sleep Book offers gentle, no-tears sleep solutions for exhausted parents of newborns to five-year-olds. A large percentage of parents find their young children's sleep - or lack of - challenging. This new audiobook from Sarah Ockwell-Smith, founder of BabyCalm, will be an indispensable guide for parents, whatever challenges they are facing with their child's sleep - from the day they bring their newborn home until their child is settled in at school.
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It's fine but not much about 2-4 years
- By Patrick on 02-12-18
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Parenting Without Power Struggles
- Raising Joyful, Resilient Kids While Staying Cool, Calm, and Connected
- By: Susan Stiffelman
- Narrated by: Susan Stiffelman
- Length: 8 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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While most parenting programs are designed to coerce kids to change, Parenting Without Power Struggles does something innovative, showing you how to help your children awaken their natural instincts to cooperate, rather than employing threats or bribes, which inevitably fuels their resistance. By staying calm and being the confident "captain of the ship" your child needs, you will learn how to parent from a place of strong, durable connection, and you'll be better able to help your kids navigate the challenging moments of growing up.
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Highly recommended.
- By Nothing really matters on 10-13-13
By: Susan Stiffelman
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Simplicity Parenting
- Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids
- By: Kim John Payne, Lisa M. Ross
- Narrated by: Arthur Morey
- Length: 9 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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From internationally renowned family consultant Kim John Payne comes an eloquent guide that seeks to help parents reclaim for their children the space and freedom that all kids need for their individuality to flourish.
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A worthwhile listen for new parents
- By Kathy K on 07-30-12
By: Kim John Payne, and others
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The Connected Parent
- Real-Life Strategies for Building Trust and Attachment
- By: Lisa Qualls, Karyn Purvis PhD
- Narrated by: Lisa Qualls
- Length: 4 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Renowned child-development expert Dr. Karyn Purvis gives you practical advice and powerful tools you can use to encourage secure attachment in your family. You will benefit from Karyn’s decades of clinical research and real-world experience. Coauthor Lisa Qualls demonstrates how you can successfully implement these strategies in your home, just as she did in hers. You will learn how to simplify your approach using scripts, nurture your child, combat chronic fear, teach respect, and develop other valuable tools to facilitate a healing connection with your child.
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An holistic approach to relational health
- By K & J on 02-11-23
By: Lisa Qualls, and others
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The Courage Habit
- How to Accept Your Fears, Release the Past, and Live Your Courageous Life
- By: Kate Swoboda, Bari Tessler MA
- Narrated by: Kate Marcin
- Length: 5 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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In The Courage Habit, certified life coach Kate Swoboda offers freedom from the outdated belief that one must be fearless in order to live courageously. Instead, she defines courage as a willingness to act on what we want in spite of our fears and offers an evidence-based program to help readers conquer their inner critic, overcome worries, increase resilience, work toward their highest aspirations, and make courage a habit every day.
By: Kate Swoboda, and others
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21 Days to Resilience
- How to Transcend the Daily Grind, Deal with the Tough Stuff, and Discover Your Strongest Self
- By: Zelana Montminy
- Narrated by: Heather Henderson
- Length: 4 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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In 21 Days to Resilience, Dr. Zelana Montminy gives you a practical, concrete toolkit to develop your capacity to recover quickly. Each day of her powerful program, Dr. Montmimy introduces a key concept necessary to improve resiliency and enhance well-being - such as courage, focus, positivity, self-care, and social support - then provides three quick skills to accomplish. Throughout the book she teaches you lifelong skills you can continue to practice and return to as needed to keep your resiliency muscles strong.
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Helpful insight
- By Schase on 07-08-18
By: Zelana Montminy
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If I Have to Tell You One More Time
- The Revolutionary Program That Gets Your Kids to Listen Without Nagging, Reminding, or Yelling
- By: Amy McCready
- Narrated by: Coleen Marlo
- Length: 7 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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In this invaluable audiobook, Amy McCready, founder of the popular online parenting course Positive Parenting Solutions, presents a nag-and-scream-free program for compassionately yet effectively, correcting your children's bad behavior. McCready draws on Adlerian psychology and Positive Discipline, which focuses on the central idea that every human being has a basic need to feel connected and empowered - children being no exception to the rule.
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Great book, will test
- By Jared on 05-21-15
By: Amy McCready
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Slay Like a Mother
- How to Destroy What's Holding You Back So You Can Live the Life You Want
- By: Katherine Wintsch
- Narrated by: Katherine Wintsch
- Length: 8 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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In this emotionally charged how-to guide, you'll laugh, you'll cry, and you'll discover eye-opening lessons about: The mask you're wearing. The one you hide behind when you say everything is "just fine" when it's not. Your unrealistic expectations. The goal-setting tactics you're deploying to get ahead could be what's holding you back. The difference between struggling and suffering. Being a mother is a struggle - it always has been - but your suffering is optional.
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Great for dads too!
- By Earl Cox on 06-20-19
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Raising Happiness
- 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents
- By: Christine Carter
- Narrated by: Emily Durante
- Length: 7 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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An essential guide to raising happy children from author Christine Carter, complete with tips, secrets, and strategies that will set the stage for positive emotions into adolescence and beyond.
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One of the best parenting books I have come across
- By Kristine on 02-05-13
By: Christine Carter
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Autism Breakthrough
- The Groundbreaking Method That Has Helped Families All over the World
- By: Raun K. Kaufman
- Narrated by: Raun K. Kaufman
- Length: 8 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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As a boy, Raun Kaufman was diagnosed by multiple experts as severely autistic, with an IQ below 30, and destined to spend his life in an institution. Years later, Raun graduated with a degree in biomedical ethics from Brown University and has become a passionate and articulate autism expert and educator with no trace of his former condition. Thanks to the Son-Rise Program, a revolutionary method created by his parents, Raun experienced a full recovery from autism.
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A great approach.
- By DNP on 12-01-16
By: Raun K. Kaufman
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Social Justice Parenting
- How to Raise Compassionate, Anti-Racist, Justice-Minded Kids in an Unjust World
- By: Traci Baxley
- Narrated by: Traci Baxley
- Length: 6 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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As a global pandemic shuttered schools across the country in 2020, parents found themselves thrust into the role of teacher — in more ways than one. Not only did they take on remote school supervision, but after the murder of George Floyd and the ensuing Black Lives Matter protests, many also grappled with the responsibility to teach their kids about social justice — with few resources to guide them.
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Inspiring, motivating, practical
- By Heather Janetzko on 03-18-24
By: Traci Baxley
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How Toddlers Thrive
- What Parents Can Do Today for Children Ages 2-5 to Plant the Seeds of Lifelong Success
- By: Tovah P. Klein PhD
- Narrated by: Tovah P. Klein PhD, Sarah Jessica Parker - foreword
- Length: 10 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Why do some children thrive and others struggle? The answers may surprise you. New research indicates that the seeds for adult success are actually planted in the toddler years. Dr. Tovah Klein's research and firsthand work with thousands of toddlers explains why the toddler brain is best suited to laying the foundation for success. Dr. Klein reveals the new science behind drivers such as resilience, self-reliance, self-regulation, and empathy that are more critical to success than simple intelligence.
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Redundant
- By odotwu on 05-08-18
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I Want This to Work
- An Inclusive Guide to Navigating the Most Difficult Relationship Issues We Face in the Modern Age
- By: Elizabeth Earnshaw LMFT CGT
- Narrated by: Elizabeth Earnshaw LMFT CGT
- Length: 9 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Elizabeth Earnshaw is here to help. The renowned Gottman therapist, founder of A Better Life Therapy, and influential Instagram therapist behind @lizlistens has helped to transform countless relationships. With I Want This to Work, she presents for today’s generation the most effective and proven steps for relationship success.
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I want this to work too. Excellent information, excruciating execution
- By Sunny Bettley on 03-17-23
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I started to cry....and this Dad doesn't do that
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Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors
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Do you know a child who struggles to get started with things or who resists trying something new? Maybe they argue or have trouble joining other kids in conversation and play. Do you hear yourself prompting your child again and again? Do you feel frustrated or stuck, and long for a better way - a more positive way - to engage your child while guiding them toward independence? This book was written for parents, caregivers, professionals, and more - to guide you on how to move away from prompting and prodding kids - and toward authentic connections and competent roles.
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In this easy-to-listen-to, science-based book, parents, caregivers, and adults of all kinds discover how discipline affects children’s development, why intervention should reinforce connection not separation, and why the disciplinary strategies that may have been used on us as children are not the ones that children really need. As a practicing child and family psychologist and advisor to the British Columbia ministry of children and families, Dr. Vanessa has seen it all, and she has navigated hundreds of tough situations with families.
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Unrealistic expectations for parenting
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Declarative Language Handbook
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Do you know children who get upset when their routines change? They might also struggle to see the big picture, make friends, solve a problem in real time, and read nonverbal communication. Meltdowns, tantrums, and other challenging behaviors might be common. This audiobook was designed to teach you how making small shifts in your language and speaking style that will produce important results.
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Must read for kids with social difficulties!
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By: Linda K. Murphy
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Brain-Body Parenting
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Over her decades as a clinical psychologist, Dr. Mona Delahooke has routinely counseled distraught parents who struggle to manage their children’s challenging, sometimes oppositional behaviors. These families are understandably focused on correcting or improving a child’s lack of compliance, emotional outbursts, tantrums, and other “out of control” behavior. But, as she has shared with these families, a perspective shift is needed. Behavior, no matter how challenging, is not the problem but a symptom; a clue about what is happening in a child’s unique physiologic makeup.
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Groundbreaking
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Increasing numbers of parents grapple with children who are acting out without obvious reason. Revved up and irritable, many of these children are diagnosed with ADHD, bipolar illness, autism, or other disorders, but don't respond well to treatment. They are then medicated, often with poor results and unwanted side effects. Based on emerging scientific research and extensive clinical experience, integrative child psychiatrist Dr. Victoria Dunckley has pioneered a four-week program to treat the frequent underlying cause, Electronic Screen Syndrome (ESS).
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Insightful
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Gifted and Distractible
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This much-needed and empowering guide reveals the unique challenges these remarkable kids face, and offers strength-based, hands-on strategies for understanding, supporting, and advocating for twice exceptional kids. In a world that labels them lazy, scattered, attention-seeking, and a problem that can’t be solved, these tools will help you reimagine the world through your child’s unique perspective—so you can help them thrive.
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This book has all the answers 
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Tiny Humans, Big Emotions
- How to Navigate Tantrums, Meltdowns, and Defiance to Raise Emotionally Intelligent Children
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We’re in the midst of a parenting revolution that is radically changing the way we raise our kids. Gone are the days of minimizing emotions: Don’t Cry. You’re Fine. Don’t Make a Scene. As our understanding of developing brains has increased, today’s parents are looking for a new way to help their children understand their feelings and learn to process them.
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Good pointers for preschool parents and teachers
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Differently Wired
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Today millions of kids are stuck in a world that doesn't respect, support, or embrace who they really are - these are what Deborah Reber is calling the “differently wired” kids, the one in five children with ADHD, dyslexia, Asperger’s, and other neurodifferences. Their challenges are many. But now there’s hope. Written by Deborah Reber, a best-selling author and mother in the midst of an eye-opening journey with her son who is twice exceptional (he has ADHD, Asperger’s, and is highly gifted), Differently Wired is a how-to, a manifesto, a book of wise advice, and more.
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very well thought out but not for everyone
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By: Deborah Reber
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PDA in the Family
- Life After the Lightbulb Moment
- By: Steph Curtis
- Narrated by: Chris Curtis, Steph Curtis
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In this honest and open account of life with her PDA daughter, Sasha, Steph Curtis reveals the everyday struggles and explores the milestones of raising a child diagnosed with Pathological Demand Avoidance. This book guides you through the Curtis family's 'lightbulb moment' of recognising Sasha's PDA profile following her autism diagnosis at the age of two, their experiences of various education settings and attempts to access support, everyday life at home and relationships with family and friends.
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A Mirror to Our Journey: Insights into the PDA Experience
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By: Steph Curtis
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Pathological Demand Avoidance
- By: Centre of Excellence
- Narrated by: Jane Branch
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- Unabridged
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A pervasive developmental disorder that is common in individuals on the autistic spectrum, pathological demand avoidance (PDA) is characterized by an avoidance of demand-framed requests by an individual and causes difficulties with social communication and interaction with others. Listen to the Pathological Demand Avoidance audiobook and you’ll learn support structures and effective strategies to aid young children and adolescents with the condition.
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Finally! An audiocourse on PDA within ASD!
- By Shannon E Kopacz on 12-11-18
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Raising a Sensory Smart Child
- The Definitive Handbook for Helping Your Child with Sensory Processing Issues, Revised and Updated Edition
- By: Lindsey Biel, Nancy Peske, Temple Grandin PhD - foreword
- Narrated by: Jennifer Jill Araya, Lindsey Biel, Nancy Peske
- Length: 18 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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For children with sensory difficulties - those who struggle to process everyday sensations and exhibit unusual behaviors such as avoiding or seeking out touch, movement, sounds, and sights - this groundbreaking audiobook is an invaluable resource. Sensory processing challenges affect all kinds of kids - from those with developmental delays, learning and attenion issues, or autism spectrum disorder to those without any other issues. Now in its third edition, Raising a Sensory Smart Child is even more comprehensive and helpful than ever.
By: Lindsey Biel, and others
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F the Fairy Tale
- Rewrite the Dating Myths and Live Your Own Love Story
- By: Damona Hoffman
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Does dating feel like you’re chasing a “happily ever after” that always seems out of reach? You’re not alone: many modern daters are stuck following old rules, hung up on ideas like instant chemistry and “the One.” In F the Fairy Tale, love expert Damona Hoffman helps listeners break free of those dating myths—and write their own love stories. Drawing on nearly twenty years of experience as a dating coach, Hoffman reveals the four pillars of strong relationships: goals, values, communication, and trust.
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Overcome cultural flaws that have emerged in the age of social media
- By JPotts on 08-29-24
By: Damona Hoffman
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Beyond Behaviors
- Using Brain Science and Compassion to Understand and Solve Children's Behavioral Challenges
- By: Mona Delahooke PhD
- Narrated by: Coleen Marlo
- Length: 7 hrs and 49 mins
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In Beyond Behaviors, internationally known pediatric psychologist Dr. Mona Delahooke describes behaviors as the tip of the iceberg, important signals that we should address by seeking to understand a child's individual differences in the context of relational safety. This accessible book offers professionals, educators, and parents tools and techniques to reduce behavioral challenges and promote psychological resilience and satisfying, secure relationships.
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A must read for anyone who works with children.
- By Kay on 08-16-19
What listeners say about Calm the Chaos
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall
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- WJML
- 08-19-23
Such a hopeful must read
The author, Dayna has a strong, soothing voice that is easily understood even at a slightly faster pace.
The sections are pretty short and easy to follow and understand (though some of the lists would be easier to see, not just hear through). I am looking forward to seeing all the printable that are mentioned too.
Where a lot of parenting advice focuses on how to "make" our kids behave, this shares how we can look at ourselves and our mindset to see our children and their behaviors differently. And when we see them differently we can respond to those "misbehavior" in a different way-a more empowering, problem solving, way for everyone involved.
When you've been stuck for so long, it shares how to move forward. With plans that start where you are. For me, that was in the middle of deep survival mode with no idea how to handle my sons meltdowns. One of the biggest pieces for me was the solid method to release frustrations and keep my calm in those big scary moments or in just the everyday little chaos. Once I started practicing (because let's face it, you have to actually practice out of the moment and implement things for them to get better) my anchor and using the tools to survive the storm, I found that our storms weren't so debilitating. Then we were able to move on to finding ways to actually solve those storms. Our home today is vastly different. And while we keep coming upon new storms, we have a map out of those storms. A plan that brings us closer as a family and teaches and skill builds that we all need for life.
This has also helped me tremendously with myself and in my other adult relationships and I would read it even if I didn't have children. I can keep calm and hold space for family when they call to vent. Understand that all behavior is communication when I'm dealing with difficult people and set my own plans to get through uncomfortable situations. And I am teaching my kids how to do the same for their own lives.
It has the power to change your life too. Seriously, apply this framework to yourself, make yourself the focus and see how it can change your life. I am currently using it for my own burnout to really understand myself and make the changes I need to move forward and it has helped way more than any of the hundreds of articles on burnout that I have read through.
I will keep using this framework for life. I have used it for school issues, meltdowns, burnout, sleep struggles, rough toddler times and disagreements with my spouse. It really can be applied to everything and gives you a way to keep moving that makes lasting changes.
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- Jason
- 02-18-24
Great book that also covers neurodivergent parents and neurodivergent children
This book was written from a perspective that addressed neurodivergence of the child as well as the parent which will be helpful to parents in that situation.
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- JoAnna Curry
- 08-25-23
An absolute Have to Read!
If you struggle with tantrums, get this book! Life changing! Having Dayna reading it makes it way more interesting as well!
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- Anonymous User
- 08-20-23
Super useful, realistic and life-changing
I wish I had this book 10 years ago when my eldest first started struggling with behaviour. The concepts are all based in behavioral and brain science but are expressed in such a down-to-earth, practical way. I love how the steps are broken down into achievable pieces, and there are printables to download for visual reference. It's written with such insight and hope. This book should be handed out in maternity departments at every hospital in the world!
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- Kerry Kaufman
- 08-15-23
Best parenting book!
I just started listening to this book and it has been amazing. Hearing the author read it is even better. Dayna goes into easy simple steps that anybody can follow. This book is for anybody who is feeling lost as a parent or a person. We can all go from surviving to thriving.
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- Julie T.
- 08-26-23
Do yourself a huge favor and get this audiobook!
Calm the Chaos is a book that every human should read and/or listen to many times, whether or not you’re a parent, because it offers a revolutionary framework for how to interact with every person in your life, at every stage of life, regardless of whether that person is neurotypical or neurodivergent.
I’ve been a mom for almost 13 years, navigating the ups and downs of parenting 3 super kids, often on my own. Over the years, I’ve read so many parenting books and taken so many parenting classes. Some techniques made no sense to me and some made a lot of sense, but realistically, only on paper. I felt like a horrible mom, because all of those other books told me that I set the tone in my family, but none of those books told me how. I didn’t know how to be the perfect, Pinterest-ready mom that the world seems to think I needed to be. I was falling apart, completely stressed, overwhelmed and burned out and my relationship with my kids reflected it. Then a pandemic shut down the world and after months of complete chaos, we were disconnected, constantly yelling and fighting, and really didn’t like being around each other. At just the right moment as I was hitting my personal rock bottom, I was blessed to find Dayna Abraham and the Calm the Chaos Framework.
The YouCUE framework completely change my life, my parenting process, and how my family relates to each other. For the first time, I had the epiphany that I am a really good mom and it’s okay to not be perfect. With each step, I no longer deal with hours long meltdowns because now I understand that ‘all behavior is communication’. I’m not triggered by the chaos causers that happen in our family anymore, because I’ve learned to take care of myself, to ‘stop, breathe, and anchor’. I’ve learned to understand each of my super kids so I am able to meet them in their struggles, connect with them in the moment, and empower them to be solution finders.
If you’ve been wondering how to calm the chaos in your family, this is definitely the book for you. Dayna walks the reader through each step in the process so that you can tailor the framework to your family’s specific needs and struggles. The personal stories of Dayna’s journey and those of her students truly help you realize that you are not alone and that if they can calm the chaos so can you. You are not alone. You got this!
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