My Secret Life as a Sex Addict
How I Repaired the Damage
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Narrated by:
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Paulina Pantyleva
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Dana Lee Chapman
About this listen
It was only the fourth day of the cruise, and I was already on my seventh penis. I met Jack at the pizza station by the pool. I went there to binge on pizza, partly because pizza is delicious and partly to punish my bad behaviors with food. I just wanted to engorge myself with cheese, crust, and soda like a bloated tick.
Jack: “Hey, I’ve seen you around. This pizza isn’t the greatest….” After a few minutes of small talk, the next thing I know, I’m on my knees in the closest men’s bathroom to the pizza station. No kissing, no foreplay, just c*ck in my mouth. “Thank you so much. I needed that so badly. I was going crazy hanging out with my wife and kids this entire cruise. I gotta go.” I’m not really sure how I find myself in these kinds of situations. It seems to only happen to me. Somehow I attract random men to do this. I don’t even like to suck c*ck. Much less a guy I don’t even know who has a wife and kids. Stranger c*ck is disgusting, so why did I suck it?! What the f--k is wrong with me?
It is said that once the pain of the addiction is greater than the reward, that is when change occurs. Sex addiction is a shameful topic. There are some books written for male sex addicts, but few from a female sex addict’s point of view. I am an American middle-class mom who works as a physician. I was smart enough to get a medical degree and to live a seemingly beautiful suburban soccer mom life. Until the age of 49, I lived with significant anger, resentment, shame, and guilt about myself and my behavior. I couldn't live like this anymore, riding this sickening merry-go-round of binging, sexing, regretting, crying, and still acting out. I was turning 50 this year and had to fix my mental and physical health. I did not want to hit the milestone of age 50. Still a mess. This is my story.
You can contact Paulina at ppanties333@gmail.com.
©2023 Paulina Pantyleva (P)2023 Paulina PantylevaListeners also enjoyed...
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Boundaries: Where You End and I Begin
- How to Recognize and Set Healthy Boundaries
- By: Anne Katherine MA
- Narrated by: Pam Ward
- Length: 6 hrs
- Unabridged
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Have you recently walked away from a date or a conversation feeling uncomfortable or violated? Are you looking for ways to set limits with your spouse, kids, parents, or boss? This essential guide to setting and respecting boundaries is for anyone wanting to better understand themselves and others. Just as a cut in our skin causes pain and injury, a breach of any of our physical, emotional, or sexual boundaries can be very harmful to our bodies and minds.
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Not exactly for tailored for the Male reader
- By Matt on 04-26-22
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Love Is a Choice
- The Definitive Book on Letting Go of Unhealthy Relationships
- By: Dr. Robert Hemfelt, Dr. Frank Minirth, Dr. Paul Meier
- Narrated by: Christopher Solimene
- Length: 11 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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In Love Is a Choice, best-selling doctors Robert Hemfelt, Frank Minirth, and Paul Meier walk you through their 10 proven stages to recovery from codependency that results from external circumstances. Humans are susceptible to codependency because of our sinful tendency to use defense mechanisms to fool ourselves. In codependent relationships, deceitful games are played, and important Christian principles are often taken out of context and abused.
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Great book, horrible Performance
- By Jeff on 03-15-18
By: Dr. Robert Hemfelt, and others
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Post-Romantic Stress Disorder
- What to Do When the Honeymoon Is Over
- By: John Bradshaw
- Narrated by: Joe Barrett
- Length: 5 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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John Bradshaw is arguably the most accomplished and well-known leader alive today in the addictions field. He taught us about functional and dysfunctional families, showed us how shame could become toxic and poisonous to our core selves, and helped us understand and heal the wounded, vulnerable "inner child" conceived by, and thriving in, that environment. In Post-Romantic Stress Disorder (PRSD), Bradshaw gives readers a clear explanation of the difference between falling in love, lust, and true love.
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How do you own the world, how do you own disorder?
- By Derek G. on 01-13-17
By: John Bradshaw
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The Breakup Bible
- The Smart Woman's Guide to Healing from a Breakup or Divorce
- By: Rachel Sussman
- Narrated by: Susan Boyce
- Length: 12 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Psychotherapist and breakup expert Rachel A. Sussman, LCSW, reveals the secrets every woman needs to get her life back on track. Drawing on hundreds of counseling sessions she's conducted with women at all stages of recovery, Sussman developed a proven three-phase process for healing from a breakup.
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lifesaver!
- By Dawson on 11-30-17
By: Rachel Sussman
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On Our Best Behavior
- The Seven Deadly Sins and the Price Women Pay to Be Good
- By: Elise Loehnen
- Narrated by: Elise Loehnen
- Length: 11 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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We congratulate ourselves when we resist the donut in the office breakroom. We celebrate our restraint when we hold back from sending an email in anger. We feel virtuous when we wake up at dawn to get a jump on the day. We put others’ needs ahead of our own and believe this makes us exemplary. In On Our Best Behavior, journalist Elise Loehnen explains that these impulses—often lauded as unselfish, distinctly feminine instincts—are actually ingrained in us by a culture that reaps the benefits, via an extraordinarily effective collection of mores known as the Seven Deadly Sins.
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Autobiography in Disguise
- By Lindsey on 06-11-23
By: Elise Loehnen
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The Polyamory Breakup Book
- Causes, Prevention, and Survival
- By: Kathy Labriola
- Narrated by: Leanne Yau
- Length: 8 hrs
- Unabridged
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Polyamory is not always easy. With multiple partners often come more complex relationships to navigate. This practical guide looks at the common causes of polyamorous breakups, identifies strategies to avoid ending relationships, and provides you with the toolkit to survive a breakup. Kathy Labriola uses real-life examples and expert insight as a counselor and nurse.
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Great book with great examples
- By Russell Somoza on 11-11-20
By: Kathy Labriola
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Raising Girls
- By: Steve Biddulph
- Narrated by: Damien Warren-Smith
- Length: 7 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Steve Biddulph's Raising Boys was a global phenomenon. The first book in a generation to look at boys' specific needs, parents loved its clarity and warm insights into their sons' inner world. But today, things have changed. It's girls that are in trouble. There has been a sudden and universal deterioration in girls' mental health, starting in primary school and devastating the teen years. Steve Biddulph's Raising Girls is both a guidebook and a call to arms for parents.
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Really helpful and Grounded
- By KFluke on 01-26-23
By: Steve Biddulph
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Idiots
- Marriage, Motherhood, Milk & Mistakes
- By: Laura Clery
- Narrated by: Laura Clery
- Length: 8 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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A fresh, hilarious, and relatable collection of essays about everything from motherhood and marriage to sobriety and work-life balance (or imbalance) from the nationally bestselling author of the “honest, complicated” (SheKnows) Idiot.
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Tears and laughs!!
- By Anonymous User on 04-07-22
By: Laura Clery
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Funny How It Works Out
- By: Manon Mathews
- Narrated by: Manon Mathews
- Length: 6 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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For comedian and content creator Manon Mathews, comedy is life. But it took more than luck for her hilarious antics on Vine to open the door to her career. It took years of routinely embarrassing herself, improv classes, some stints as an amateur stand-up comic, unrelenting dedication, and one life-altering night out that forced her to change her ways. This set her on the path to manifesting her dream life.
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Excellent book!
- By cinematicashley on 11-18-20
By: Manon Mathews
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Hungry for More
- Satisfy Your Deepest Cravings, Feed Your Dreams and Live a Full-Up Life
- By: Mel Wells
- Narrated by: Mel Wells
- Length: 5 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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After the success of her first book, The Goddess Revolution, which was all about fostering a healthier relationship with food and your body, Mel Wells helps you dive deeper into your food and body psychology. As a health coach, Mel believes that our unwanted eating habits could actually be pointing us in the direction of our soul's true calling and that our addictions reveal something much greater than cravings for caramel lattes - they reveal a need for love, connection, intimacy, and the feeling of being truly seen and understood, in spite of all our failures and flaws.
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fantastic
- By Dara on 07-17-18
By: Mel Wells
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Codependent No More
- How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
- By: Melody Beattie
- Narrated by: Melody Beattie
- Length: 8 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Is someone else's problem your problem? If, like so many others, you've lost sight of your own life in the drama of tending to a loved one’s self-destructive behavior, you may be codependent—and you may find yourself in this book. With personal reflections, exercises, and instructive stories drawn from Beattie’s own life and the lives of those she’s counseled, Codependent No More helps you break old patterns and maintain healthy boundaries, and offers a clear and achievable path to healing, hope, freedom, and happiness.
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great book with unbearable reader
- By Nielah on 09-01-22
By: Melody Beattie
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Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives
- By: Laura Schlessinger Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Laura Schlessinger Ph.D.
- Length: 2 hrs and 52 mins
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Following the tremendous success of her New York Times best sellers, Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives and How Could You Do That?!, Dr. Laura Schlessinger, the conscience of talk radio, now addresses the stupid things men do that diminish their lives and happiness. With real-world examples from her radio show and strikingly honest letters from her male listeners, her book reveals that many men demonstrate a level of sensitivity and insight that will surprise most women.
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Loved it!
- By Ethan on 03-21-18
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10 Stupid Things Couples Do To Mess Up Their Relationships
- By: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
- Narrated by: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
- Length: 2 hrs and 37 mins
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In Ten Stupid Things Couples Do to Mess Up Their Relationships, Dr. Laura Schlessinger calls for a return to traditional courtship. Courtship allows couples and their families to get acquainted with each other over a longer period of time, and provides structure and guidelines for that important process.
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No brainer ideas that we can forget
- By Ali0531 on 07-06-15