After the Affair, Third Edition
Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful
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Narrated by:
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Xe Sands
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By:
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Janis A. Spring
About this listen
“Full of juicy, concrete advice to heal from an affair.” (Esther Perel, MA, LMFT, New York Times best-selling author of Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs)
From a clinical psychologist who served as a clinical supervisor in the Department of Psychology at Yale University, received the CPA’s award for Distinguished Contribution to the Practice of Psychology, and has treated couples and trained therapists for over four decades, this newly updated, award-winning book provides concrete, proven strategies for those who seek to survive their partner’s infidelity and to rebuild the relationship after an affair.
There is nothing quite like the devastation caused when a partner has been unfaithful. Hurt partners often experience a profound shattering of their familiar and valued sense of self and fall into a depression that can last for years. For the relationship, infidelity is often a death blow.
This new third edition of After the Affair, with more than 600,000 copies sold, helps guide both hurt and unfaithful partners through three stages of healing: normalizing the crisis, deciding whether to recommit to their partner, and rekindling trust and sexual intimacy. It includes a new section in which patients ask questions not addressed in previous editions, and the author provides concrete strategies for earning trust and forgiveness.
©1996, 2013, 2020 Janis A. Spring (P)2021 HarperCollins PublishersListeners also enjoyed...
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In I Love You, but I'm Not in Love with You - a real-life relationship guide from couples' counselor Andrew G. Marshall - partners and individuals who have "fallen out of love" or want to rekindle the love that once was will learn how to use Marshall 's program with impressive results. This is a much-needed book to help men and women of all ages in any type of committed romantic relationship to truly understand love and to point out the everyday habits that undermine growing together.
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If you feel stuck in a relationship, this book is a MUST!
- By Christopher on 05-09-19
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Post-Romantic Stress Disorder
- What to Do When the Honeymoon Is Over
- By: John Bradshaw
- Narrated by: Joe Barrett
- Length: 5 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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John Bradshaw is arguably the most accomplished and well-known leader alive today in the addictions field. He taught us about functional and dysfunctional families, showed us how shame could become toxic and poisonous to our core selves, and helped us understand and heal the wounded, vulnerable "inner child" conceived by, and thriving in, that environment. In Post-Romantic Stress Disorder (PRSD), Bradshaw gives readers a clear explanation of the difference between falling in love, lust, and true love.
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How do you own the world, how do you own disorder?
- By Derek G. on 01-13-17
By: John Bradshaw
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Talk to Me Like I'm Someone You Love, Revised Edition
- Relationship Repair in a Flash
- By: Nancy Dreyfus PsyD
- Narrated by: Gabra Zackman
- Length: 5 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Talk to Me like I'm Someone You Love is a brilliant interactive relationship tool that can help couples stop arguing and begin healing. This revised edition features two new sections - one on making love and another on deepening trust - containing more than 25 new "flash cards for real life", statements that hold the power to express what we wish we could say to the person we love but for which we can't find either the right words or the right tone in which to say them.
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Is there a companion PDF with the flashcards one could print?
- By Brandy Fagan on 09-13-22
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Living with the Passive-Aggressive Man
- Coping with Hidden Aggression - From the Bedroom to the Boardroom
- By: Scott Wetzler Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Matthew Josdal
- Length: 6 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Do you know one of these men? The catch-me-if-you-can lover...Phil's romantic and passionate one minute, distant and cold the next. The deviously manipulative coworker or boss...Jack denies resenting Nora's rapid rise in the company, but when they're assigned to work together on a project, he undermines her. The obstructionist, procrastinating husband...Bob keeps telling his wife he'll finish the painting job he began years ago, but he never seems to get around to it. These are all classic examples of the passive aggressive man.
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A good review of the PA type man
- By Dew on 12-29-17
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The Breakup Bible
- The Smart Woman's Guide to Healing from a Breakup or Divorce
- By: Rachel Sussman
- Narrated by: Susan Boyce
- Length: 12 hrs and 6 mins
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Psychotherapist and breakup expert Rachel A. Sussman, LCSW, reveals the secrets every woman needs to get her life back on track. Drawing on hundreds of counseling sessions she's conducted with women at all stages of recovery, Sussman developed a proven three-phase process for healing from a breakup.
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lifesaver!
- By Dawson on 11-30-17
By: Rachel Sussman
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We Love Each Other, But . . .
- Simple Secrets to Strengthen Your Relationship and Make Love Last
- By: Ellen Wachtel
- Narrated by: Joyce Bean
- Length: 6 hrs and 27 mins
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We Love Each Other, But... offers simple, practical tips that will help you restore and strengthen a relationship that has gone off track. It lays out the nuts and bolts of building relationships so they continue to be gratifying over the long haul. Dr. Ellen Wachtel shows how, even when you feel like giving up on a relationship or marriage, you can recapture why you fell in love in the first place. Dr. Wachtel promises that there is more and suggests simple ways to keep vitality in relationships.
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Some interesting material
- By Scott on 10-25-12
By: Ellen Wachtel
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Codependent No More
- How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
- By: Melody Beattie
- Narrated by: Melody Beattie
- Length: 8 hrs and 42 mins
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Is someone else's problem your problem? If, like so many others, you've lost sight of your own life in the drama of tending to a loved one’s self-destructive behavior, you may be codependent—and you may find yourself in this book. With personal reflections, exercises, and instructive stories drawn from Beattie’s own life and the lives of those she’s counseled, Codependent No More helps you break old patterns and maintain healthy boundaries, and offers a clear and achievable path to healing, hope, freedom, and happiness.
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great book with unbearable reader
- By Nielah on 09-01-22
By: Melody Beattie
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Should I Stay or Should I Go?
- A Guide to Knowing If Your Relationship Can - and Should - Be Saved
- By: Lundy Bancroft, JAC Patrissi
- Narrated by: Stephen R. Thorne
- Length: 13 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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In this supportive and straightforward guide, Lundy Bancroft, the author of Why Does He Do That?, and communication specialist JAC Patrissi offer a way for women to practically take stock of their relationships and move forward, with or without their partners.
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Paradigm Shift
- By Sydnee Adams-Hancock on 04-08-16
By: Lundy Bancroft, and others
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How to Help Your Spouse Heal from Your Affair
- A Compact Manual for the Unfaithful
- By: Linda J. MacDonald
- Narrated by: Tamara Marston
- Length: 2 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Once an affair comes to light, many unfaithful persons "wake up" and want to save their marriages. Yet they usually make terrible mistakes in their bungled attempts to win back their partners' trust. Linda J. MacDonald, an infidelity specialist for 23 years, has identified behaviors and attitudes that determine unfaithful persons' success or failure to mend their marriages after the wrecking ball of an affair. How to Help Your Spouse Heal from Your Affair offers practical advice for those who've strayed and want a second chance.
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Very Helpful
- By Peppertaz on 03-04-17
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Get out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior
- Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior
- By: Philip Goldberg, Mark Goulston MD
- Narrated by: Mark Goulston
- Length: 4 hrs and 49 mins
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Practical, proven self-help steps show how to transform 40 common self-defeating behaviors, including procrastination, envy, obsession, anger, self-pity, compulsion, neediness, guilt, rebellion, inaction, and more.
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Nothing new
- By MsJulyswimwear on 07-25-20
By: Philip Goldberg, and others
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The Good Karma Divorce
- Avoid Litigation, Turn Negative Emotions into Positive Actions, and Get On with the Rest of Your Life
- By: Judge Michele F. Lowrance
- Narrated by: Judge Michele F. Lowrance
- Length: 4 hrs and 20 mins
- Abridged
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The average divorce takes two years with a median cost of $30,000. Yet the true cost of divorce is more than time or money; it is the legacy of the decisions made during the process. No matter how long two people have been married, whether there are children or not, divorce often leads to bad choices that can forever alter a family's life. But what if you could reverse the stereotype and move regret-free through this process?
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Thanks for the great advice!
- By Tom Clemente on 11-09-16
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Thank you
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WORST to Read/Listen to if you are well past D Day
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realness
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How Can I Forgive You? (Updated Edition)
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I read it twice Really helpful and clear
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Very Helpful
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WORST to Read/Listen to if you are well past D Day
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Horrible, but with some helpful information
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Infidelity
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Infidelity: The Best Worst Thing That Could Happen to Your Marriage was written to help couples navigate their way to healing after experiencing the devastating impact of physical and emotional affairs. Listening to this book will allow you the opportunity to process the affair, assess the damage, and make an informed choice about the future of your relationship.
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night time bed story
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Healing Your Spouse After Your Affair
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Imagine the pain and devastation of discovering your partner has had an affair. The betrayal, the hurt, and the feeling of being torn apart from the person you once loved. You may feel like your world has been turned upside down, leaving you wondering if your relationship can ever be healed. But what if there was a way to mend the wounds and rebuild trust? This groundbreaking book reveals the secrets to healing your spouse after an affair, from understanding their perspective to providing the necessary support.
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Disappointed
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Recovering from the Affair
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Really Helped! Read it!
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Transcending Post-Infidelity Stress Disorder
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The phrase "broken heart" belies the real trauma behind the all-too-common occurrence of infidelity. Psychologist Dennis Ortman likens the psychological aftermath of sexual betrayal to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) in its origin and symptoms, including anxiety, irritability, rage, emotional numbing, and flashbacks. Dr. Ortman sees recovery as a spiritual journey and draws on the wisdom of diverse faiths, from Christianity to Buddhism. He also offers exercises to deepen recovery, such as guided meditations and journaling.
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Religious Slant Takes Away from Seriousness
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The State of Affairs
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An affair: It can rob a couple of their relationship, their happiness, their very identity. And yet this extremely common human experience is so poorly understood. Adultery has existed since marriage was invented, and so, too, the prohibition against it - in fact it has a tenacity that marriage can only envy. Iconic couples' therapist and best-selling author of Mating in Captivity Esther Perel returns with a groundbreaking and provocative look at infidelity, arguing for a more nuanced and less judgmental conversation about our transgressions.
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A compassionate approach
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Cheating in a Nutshell
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After being cheated on, individuals may feel battered by emotion, with nowhere to turn, and no roadmap in sight. International relationship advice authors Wayne and Tamara Mitchell provide that roadmap through Cheating in a Nutshell: What Infidelity Does to the Victim.
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Very anti-forgiveness
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The Betrayal Bind
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What happens when your partner, your primary person, in an instant, becomes a source of danger and pain? The Betrayal Bind introduces new language, concepts, and imagery to explore the crucial relational dilemma that betrayed partners face when their significant other is unsafe to connect to, yet connection is the key to healing.
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Sex With a Cheating Person?! NO!
- By Primetime on 12-19-23
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Getting Past the Affair
- A Program to Help You Cope, Heal, and Move On - Together or Apart
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Discovering that a partner has been unfaithful hits you like an earthquake. Long after the first jolt, emotional aftershocks can make it difficult to be there for your family, manage your daily life, and think clearly about your options. Whether you want to end the relationship or piece things back together, Getting Past the Affair guides you through the initial trauma so you can understand what happened and why before deciding how to move forward.
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AudioBook needs PDF file
- By Mariama S Jalloh-Heyward on 02-26-19
By: Kristina Coop Gordon PhD, and others
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Infidelity Recovery
- A Comprehensive Workbook for Healing, Rebuilding Trust, and Restoring Intimacy in Your Relationship (Interpersonal Skills)
- By: Emma Lancaster
- Narrated by: Ivan Busenius
- Length: 3 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Redeem your relationship from infidelity’s clutches and launch it to greater heights than you’ve ever experienced or imagined. Has infidelity rocked your relationship? Are you desperately worried that it’s the beginning of the end for you and your partner? If you had a surefire path to reclaiming your lost love, would you take it? Whether you have been unfaithful to your partner or you’ve discovered betrayal by your lover, infidelity is a painful, tough, confusing situation to navigate in a relationship.
By: Emma Lancaster
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When Good People Have Affairs
- Inside the Hearts & Minds of People in Two Relationships
- By: Mira Kirshenbaum
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- Length: 6 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Story
A world-renowned therapist, Mira Kirshenbaum has treated thousands of people caught in the powerful drama over what to do when an affair rocks their emotional lives. Now, in When Good People Have Affairs, Kirshenbaum puts her unsurpassed experience into one clear, calming place. She leads listeners through six easy-to-navigate steps that will take anyone from anxiety to clarity, and identifies 17 types of affairs, helping listeners figure out which type they're in and what it means.
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This book condones affairs
- By Summer Phillips on 06-18-18
By: Mira Kirshenbaum
What listeners say about After the Affair, Third Edition
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- EHMnicke
- 07-02-21
Great read
Really helps me understand myself and my relationship with my spouse. I will listen again.
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- mrs_smp
- 09-22-22
Helpful
The emotions I went through in this book. It has truly helped in my healing process.
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Overall
- Christopher Hanson
- 04-11-21
Perfect !!!!
Perfect examples to grasp everything from both sides of the relationship and to mindful and grow..
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1 person found this helpful
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- Savonne Whitfield
- 08-02-24
Clear Concepts
Breaks down perspectives very well. Stories were relatable and the it’s a judgement free read.
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- Amazon Customer
- 05-28-23
Informative
I hate that I needed this book. I listened to the book with an open heart and mind. The concepts made sense and are rooted seeing both sides of the topic. There is a ton of content and the author refers to several workbook docs that aren’t visible with the audio version. I plan on making use of those and re-reading the book to ensure I am solid on the topics covered.
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- Amazon Customer
- 01-16-23
Healing words
This was an informative book that has helped me in the space I find myself in after 41 years of marriage.
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- salam04
- 08-31-24
Must read for couples
Janis was great in explaining deep state of why affairs occur and how to overcome them
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- Mhuff
- 12-07-22
Good read
We are going through a lot of things in our marriage mostly cyber. Listening to the information provided and through self examination I feel much better about things and I’m hoping that it will help her partner as well.
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- Janet P Smither
- 08-31-23
As helpful as a live counseling session
Recently having discovered an issue that rocked me I decided not to have a knee jerk reaction but try and understand. It ain’t easy but listening to this book has provided insights for understanding. I rolled my eyes as couple of times but mostly agreed with or could understand most of what Janis is saying. It’s well worth the listen/read for anyone in the painful situation of infidelity no matter whether the relationship was emotional or physical. Many blessings on your journey to recovering your relationship if that is what YOU CHOOSE! It’s your choice and no one else’s!
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- tara
- 03-09-22
Helpful, informative, neutral.
This book covers a lot of ground around affairs. Appreciate it is not religious based and provides alternative perspectives.
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