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Narrated by:
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Marin Ireland
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By:
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Kevin Wilson
About this listen
A 2020 Audie winner - best female narrator
A Read with Jenna Today Show Book Club Pick!
Audiobook performed by Marin Ireland.
"I can’t believe how good this book is.... It’s wholly original. It’s also perfect.... Wilson writes with such a light touch.... The brilliance of the novel [is] that it distracts you with these weirdo characters and mesmerizing and funny sentences and then hits you in a way you didn’t see coming. You’re laughing so hard you don’t even realize that you’ve suddenly caught fire." (Taffy Brodesser-Akner, New York Times Book Review)
Kevin Wilson’s best book yet - a moving and uproarious novel about a woman who finds meaning in her life when she begins caring for two children with remarkable and disturbing abilities.
Lillian and Madison were unlikely roommates and yet inseparable friends at their elite boarding school. But then, Lillian had to leave the school unexpectedly in the wake of a scandal, and they’ve barely spoken since. Until now, when Lillian gets a letter from Madison pleading for her help.
Madison’s twin stepkids are moving in with her family, and she wants Lillian to be their caretaker. However, there’s a catch: The twins spontaneously combust when they get agitated, flames igniting from their skin in a startling but beautiful way. Lillian is convinced Madison is pulling her leg, but it’s the truth.
Thinking of her dead-end life at home, the life that has consistently disappointed her, Lillian figures she has nothing to lose. Over the course of one humid, demanding summer, Lillian and the twins learn to trust each other - and stay cool - while also staying out of the way of Madison’s buttoned-up politician husband. Surprised by her own ingenuity yet unused to the intense feelings of protectiveness she feels for them, Lillian ultimately begins to accept that she needs these strange children as much as they need her - urgently and fiercely. Couldn’t this be the start of the amazing life she’d always hoped for?
With white-hot wit and a big, tender heart, Kevin Wilson has written his best book yet - a most unusual story of parental love.
©2019 Kevin Wilson (P)2019 HarperAudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Don't listen to the negative reviews.
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Critic reviews
"Narrator Marin Ireland flawlessly introduces listeners to Lillian and Madison, two unlikely friends separated after a boarding school scandal.... Drawing from a seemingly endless supply of character voices, Ireland immerses listeners in this magical yet weird family, exquisitely capturing every unusual layer of the story.... Ireland and Wilson leave a lasting impression and provide a thoroughly entertaining experience." (AudioFile Magazine)
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Everything Hope knows about the Orchard House is from the stories of her late mother. So when she arrives at the northern Michigan family estate late one night with a terrible secret and her 10-year-old daughter in tow, she’s not sure if she’ll be welcomed or turned away with a shotgun by the aunt she has never met.
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Really Enjoyed It
- By Kathryn @theBookDate on 03-30-21
By: Molly Fader
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Picture Us in the Light
- By: Kelly Loy Gilbert
- Narrated by: James Chen
- Length: 11 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
When Danny discovers a taped-up box in his father's closet filled with old letters and a file on a powerful Silicon Valley family, he realizes there's much more to his family's past than he ever imagined. Danny has been an artist for as long as he can remember, and it seems his path is set, with a scholarship to RISD and his family's blessing to pursue the career he's always dreamed of. Still, contemplating a future without his best friend, Harry Wong, by his side makes Danny feel a panic he can barely put into words.
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A poignant, touching novel for the Asian American millennial
- By Jenny on 06-30-23
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The Good Father
- By: Diane Chamberlain
- Narrated by: Kirby Heyborne, Arielle DeLisle, Emily Durante
- Length: 10 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Four years ago, 19-year-old Travis Brown made a choice: to raise his newborn daughter on his own. While most of his friends were out partying and meeting girls, Travis was at home, changing diapers and worrying about keeping food on the table. But he's never regretted his decision. Bella is the light of his life. The reason behind every move he makes. And so far, she is fed. Cared for. Safe. But when Travis loses his construction job and his home, the security he's worked so hard to create for Bella begins to crumble....
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A must-read tear jerker!
- By Wayne on 12-01-15
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The McAvoy Sisters Book of Secrets
- A Novel
- By: Molly Fader
- Narrated by: Nancy Peterson
- Length: 9 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
It’s been 17 years since the tragic summer the McAvoy sisters fell apart. Lindy, the wild one, left home, carved out a new life in the city, and never looked back. Delia, the sister who stayed, became a mother herself, raising her daughters and running the family shop in their small Ohio hometown on the shores of Lake Erie. But now, with their mother’s ailing health and a rebellious teenager to rein in, Delia has no choice but to welcome Lindy home.
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Great story
- By Nessa on 09-25-23
By: Molly Fader
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Two Truths and a Lie
- A Novel
- By: Meg Mitchell Moore
- Narrated by: Courtney Patterson
- Length: 10 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Truth: Sherri Griffin and her daughter, Katie, recently moved to the idyllic beach town of Newburyport, Massachusetts. They’ve been welcomed by Rebecca Coleman, unofficial former leader of the Newburyport Mom Squad, and her teenage daughter Alexa, Katie’s new babysitter. Truth: Alexa has time on her hands after a falling-out with her friends involving her popular YouTube channel.
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Really more of a YA novel...
- By Faith W. on 09-04-20
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Kissing Games of the World
- By: Sandi Kahn Shelton
- Narrated by: Myra Platt
- Length: 13 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
What if the one person you can't bear to be with is also the one person you can't bear to be without? Jamie McClintock is a free-spirited artist and single mother who has at last found peace and freedom sharing a farmhouse with an elderly man and his young grandson. But when the old man dies suddenly her idyllic country life comes to a halt as the old man's estranged son, Nate, returns to claim the house and his child.
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Great Writer, Great Narrator ! Loved it!
- By Ms. Critic on 05-30-09
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The Story of Arthur Truluv
- A Novel
- By: Elizabeth Berg
- Narrated by: Elizabeth Berg
- Length: 6 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Three people find their way back from loss and loneliness to a different kind of belonging in this deeply moving novel. Arthur, an old widower struggling to overcome his grief, meets Maddy, a troubled teenage girl who avoids school by hiding out where Arthur goes every day for lunch. The two strike up a friendship that draws them out of isolation.
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Sickly Sweet
- By Amazon Customer on 01-19-18
By: Elizabeth Berg
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Safe
- A Novel
- By: S. K. Barnett
- Narrated by: Brittany Pressley
- Length: 9 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Jenny Kristal was six years old when she was snatched off the sidewalk from her quiet suburban neighborhood. Twelve years later, she's miraculously returned home after escaping her kidnappers - but as her parents and older brother welcome her back, the questions begin to mount. Where has she been all these years? Why is she back now? And is home really the safest place for her...or for any of them?
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It's SAFE To Say that SAFE Is A Wasted Credit!
- By MA Reviewer on 06-27-20
By: S. K. Barnett
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Lost and Found
- By: Orson Scott Card
- Narrated by: Stefan Rudnicki
- Length: 9 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
That's the question that has haunted 14-year-old Ezekiel Blast all his life. But he's not a thief, he just has a talent for finding things. Not a superpower - a micropower. Because what good is finding lost bicycles and hair scrunchies, especially when you return them to their owners and everyone thinks you must have stolen them in the first place? If only there were some way to use Ezekiel's micropower for good, to turn a curse into a blessing. His friend Beth thinks there must be, and so does a police detective investigating the disappearance of a little girl.
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Good book from a great Author
- By Jim on 03-30-21
By: Orson Scott Card
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Chasing Perfect
- Fool's Gold, Book 1
- By: Susan Mallery
- Narrated by: Tanya Eby
- Length: 8 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
There is only one thing wrong with the charming community of Fool’s Gold, California: the men don’t stick around! This problem has to be fixed, fast, and Charity Jones may be just the city planner up to the challenge. Charity immediately falls in love with all the storybook town has to offer – except its sexy, famous, world-class cyclist Josh Golden. With her long list of romantic disasters, she’s not about to take a chance on another bad boy…but it may just be what they both need!
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Awful narration
- By Kimberly on 05-17-10
By: Susan Mallery
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Before the Storm
- By: Diane Chamberlain
- Narrated by: Abby Craden, Kris Koscheski
- Length: 11 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Laurel Lockwood lost her son once through neglect. She's spent the rest of her life determined to make up for her mistakes, and she has succeeded in becoming a committed, protective parent-maybe even overprotective. Still, she loosens her grip just enough to let Andy attend a local church social-a decision that terrifies her when the church is consumed by fire. But Andy survives...and remarkably, saves other children from the flames.
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Great book...HORRIBLE performance
- By Andrea on 03-10-15
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Embassy Wife
- A Novel
- By: Katie Crouch
- Narrated by: Marni Penning
- Length: 13 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Persephone Wilder, a displaced genius posing as the wife of an American diplomat in Namibia, takes her job as a representative of her country seriously and comes up with an intricate set of rules to survive a range of problems: how to dress in hundred-degree weather without showing too much skin, how not to look drunk at embassy functions, and how to eat roasted oryx with grace. She also suspects her husband is not actually the ambassador’s general counsel but instead a secret agent in the CIA. She takes the new trailing spouse, Amanda Evans, under her wing....
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Have narrator re-record this book
- By Amazon Customer on 09-30-21
By: Katie Crouch
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Stay Gold
- By: Tobly McSmith
- Narrated by: Theo Germaine, Phoebe Strole
- Length: 9 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Pony plans to fly under the radar this year. Tired of getting too much attention at his old school after coming out as transgender, he’s hoping for a fresh start as a Hillcrest High senior. But it’s hard to live your best life with the threat of exposure lurking around every corner. Georgia is beginning to think there’s more to life than cheerleading. She just wants to keep a low profile until graduation...which is why she promised herself that dating is a nonstarter for the foreseeable future.
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Must Read
- By Khoula on 08-17-20
By: Tobly McSmith
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Reprieve
- A Novel
- By: James Han Mattson
- Narrated by: JD Jackson
- Length: 12 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
On April 27, 1997, four contestants make it to the final cell of the Quigley House, a full-contact haunted escape room in Lincoln, Nebraska, made famous for its monstrosities, booby-traps, and ghoulishly costumed actors. If the group can endure these horrors without shouting the safe word, “reprieve,” they’ll win a substantial cash prize - a startling feat accomplished only by one other group in the house’s long history. But before they can complete the challenge, a man breaks into the cell and kills one of the contestants.
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creepy escape room story
- By Barbara S on 11-18-21
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Baby, You're Gonna Be Mine
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In Baby, You’re Gonna Be Mine, Kevin Wilson’s first story collection in nearly a decade, Wilson combines his signature quirkiness with his keen eye for emotional complexity to explore the fraught relationship between parents and children. “Scroll Through the Weapons” is about a couple taking care of their underfed and almost feral nieces and nephews. “Baby, You’re Gonna Be Mine”, the title story, is about a narcissistic rock star who moves back home. These stories all build on each other in strange and remarkable ways, showcasing Wilson’s crackling wit and big heart.
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Jarring stories that make you think
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When Astrid Strick witnesses a school bus accident in the center of town, it jostles loose a repressed memory from her young parenting days decades earlier. Suddenly, Astrid realizes she was not quite the parent she thought she'd been to her three, now-grown children. But to what consequence?
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What?!
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How to Date Your Dragon
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As someone from Louisiana...
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Premise didn’t speak to me
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Kevin Wilson’s characters inhabit a world that moves seamlessly between the real and the imagined, the mundane and the fantastic. “Grand Stand-In” is narrated by an employee of the Nuclear Family Supplemental Provider—a company that supplies “stand-ins” for families with deceased, ill, or plain mean grandparents. And in “Blowing Up On the Spot,” a young woman works sorting tiles at a Scrabble factory after her parents have spontaneously combusted. These wonderfully inventive stories explore the relationship between loss and death and the ways we try to cope with both.
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Empire of Pain
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The prize-winning and best-selling author of Say Nothing presents a grand, devastating portrait of three generations of the Sackler family, famed for their philanthropy, whose fortune was built by Valium and whose reputation was destroyed by OxyContin. Empire of Pain is a masterpiece of narrative reporting and writing, exhaustively documented and ferociously compelling.
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Full Account of the Sackler Conspiracy
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Story
A biting satire about a young man's isolated upbringing and the race trial that sends him to the Supreme Court, Paul Beatty's The Sellout showcases a comic genius at the top of his game. It challenges the sacred tenets of the United States Constitution, urban life, the civil rights movement, the father-son relationship, and the holy grail of racial equality: the black Chinese restaurant.
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Appreciated it, but didn't like it
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By: Paul Beatty
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Call Me Maybe
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Story
Paint your toes. Pick up the wrong coffee and bagel order. Drive from Brooklyn to Jersey in traffic so slow you want to tear your hair out. It’s amazing all the useless things I can accomplish while on hold for three hours with customer service. Three hours when I should be getting the Date-in-a-Box website ready to launch at the big business expo in a few days. Except my shiny new website is glitching, and my inner rage-monster is ready to scorch some earth...when he finally picks up. Not the robot voice I expected but a real live human named Kal.
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Greatest Audible Preformance
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By: Cara Bastone
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The Vanishing Half
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The Vignes twin sisters will always be identical. But after growing up together in a small, Southern Black community and running away at age 16, it's not just the shape of their daily lives that is different as adults, it's everything: Their families, their communities, their racial identities. Many years later, one sister lives with her Black daughter in the same Southern town she once tried to escape. The other secretly passes for White, and her White husband knows nothing of her past.
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Soap opera material
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Amazing Grace Adams
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Grace Adams gave birth, blinked, and now suddenly she is forty-five, perimenopausal and stalled—the unhappiest age you can be, according to the Guardian. And today she’s really losing it. Stuck in traffic, she finally has had enough. To the astonishment of everyone, Grace gets out of her car and simply walks away. Grace sets off across London, armed with a £200 cake, to win back her estranged teenage daughter on her sixteenth birthday. Because today is the day she’ll remind her daughter that no matter how far we fall, we can always get back up again
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Cannot trust Jenna Bush
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Little Princes
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In search of adventure, 29-year-old Conor Grennan traded his day job for a year-long trip around the globe, a journey that began with a three-month stint volunteering at the Little Princes Children's Home, an orphanage in war-torn Nepal. Conor was initially reluctant to volunteer, unsure whether he had the proper skill, or enough passion, to get involved in a developing country in the middle of a civil war. But he was soon overcome by the herd of rambunctious, resilient children.
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Amazing experience + Inspiring tale
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Run for the Hills
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Ever since her dad left them twenty years ago, it’s just been Madeline Hill and her mom on their farm in Coalfield, Tennessee. While she sometimes admits it’s a bit lonely and a less exciting life than she imagined for herself, it’s mostly OK. Mostly. Then one day Reuben Hill pulls up in a PT Cruiser and informs Madeline that he believes she’s his half sister.
By: Kevin Wilson
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Girls & Boys
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- Original Recording
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Story
When they met at an airport, it was love at first sight. But in time, everything collapsed. As an unnamed but unforgettable woman muses on her life—from meet cute to marriage and parenthood—her recollections inexorably build to a devastating truth. In this shattering performance, Carey Mulligan, star of the critically lauded drama An Education, captivates audiences with playwright Dennis Kelly’s harrowing ruminations on family, ambition, gender, and violence.
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Be aware of the content before listening
- By Anne Marie on 09-11-18
By: Dennis Kelly
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Sankofa
- A Novel
- By: Chibundu Onuzo
- Narrated by: Sara Powell
- Length: 9 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Anna is at a stage of her life when she's beginning to wonder who she really is. She has separated from her husband, her daughter is all grown up, and her mother - the only parent who raised her - is dead. Searching through her mother's belongings one day, Anna finds clues about the African father she never knew. His student diaries chronicle his involvement in radical politics in 1970s London. Anna discovers that he eventually became the president - some would say dictator - of a small nation in West Africa. And he is still alive.
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Really addictive!
- By Buddy on 10-15-21
By: Chibundu Onuzo
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Mrs. Wickham
- By: Sarah Page
- Narrated by: Jessie Buckley, Johnny Flynn, full cast
- Length: 2 hrs and 3 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Imagine if you made one little mistake when you were young and were punished for it for the rest of your life. Well, that’s what happened to Lydia (yes, that Lydia, the youngest Bennet sister from Pride and Prejudice), and she’s here to set the record straight. Hold on to your teacups and get ready for sophisticated (and a little bit naughty) hot takes and witty banter that’ll make you laugh—and think. We meet Lydia just as she is denounced by her family, exiled miles from home, and married to the rogue George Wickham, who seems to love all women...except his own wife.
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Was I supposed to feel sorry?
- By LuJuna Brown-Jackson on 09-10-22
By: Sarah Page
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The Pearl Thief
- By: Elizabeth Wein
- Narrated by: Maggie Service
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- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
From the internationally acclaimed best-selling author of Code Name Verity comes a stunning new story of pearls, love and murder. Sixteen-year-old Julie Beaufort-Stuart is returning to her family's ancestral home in Perthshire for one last summer. It is not an idyllic return to childhood. Her grandfather's death has forced the sale of the house and estate, and this will be a summer of good-byes. Not least to the McEwen family - Highland travellers who have been part of the landscape for as long as anyone can remember.
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Freshwater Pearls and Scottish Plaid
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What listeners say about Nothing to See Here
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- Brian
- 12-31-19
A spontaneous combustion of fun and heart.
Kevin Wilson’s combination of irreverence, humanity, and charm and Marin Ireland’s flawless execution of it is a match lit in heaven. I found (protagonist) Lillian’s arc relatable and inspiring—despite the absurdity of the circumstance she found herself in. My ADD tends to get the best of me with a lot of audiobooks, but Nothing to See Here had me glued to my headphones, and I finished it within a day.
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- Kristen
- 06-14-21
Absolutely Incredible.
The narrator did an amazing job at reading this. Normally female voices arent good at doing voices of men, but this person did incredible. I could feel the emotion the entire time, not just from the voice of the narrator. The story was extremely enjoyable, with lots of moment that just made me laugh.
Overall an amazing book, I think I’ll be listening to this one again and again.
I love this so much, and would definitely recommend it to anyone
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- Rideatnight
- 06-07-21
This book lit my heart on Fire!
I LOVE this book! It is the constant staple and always downloaded to listen to again and again. Easily one of my favorite listens of ALL TIME! It is truly worth give this book a shot, it will become your new favorite.
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- L. C. Hinshaw
- 04-24-20
Wonderful story
A wonderful story about friendship and commitment given uncertain situations. I loved the protagonists ability to forgive and move on as well as her vulnerability. Sweet read
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- Kathy Taff
- 06-09-21
Amazing story.
Loved it! Narrator was very good. I couldn't stop listening. Great story.
Would listen again.
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- S. Munnell
- 11-11-19
Perfect Title
Love the irony, love the narrator. Perfect length. The protagonist is "a bonafide screw-up" (Taffy Brodesser-Akner of the NYT) wonderfully rendered by the narrator, Marin Ireland, a wonderful actress in Sneaky Pete. Why a perfect title? Ah, therein lies the irony. You'll have to listen to it and see if you agree.
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- Vickie Sedillo
- 11-25-20
Simple and Lovely
This was a simple and lovely story of the strange places we find love and how simple dreams can come true in the strangest ways.
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- James H.
- 02-10-21
Lovely until the ending...
This story was very entertaining and worthwhile during the beginning and middle, however the ending left much to be desired. It seemed as though there was a lot of story left, but the author decided to abruptly attempt to tie up loose ends and end the story. This book had tons of potential.
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- M. Dettor
- 01-23-21
Original at last
I had put off listening to this because I thought it would be disappointing. I was wrong. The storyline is a refreshing & original, and although some soft/unnecessary parts, overall I enjoyed it. Plus, if you watched Schitt’s Creek you will enjoy putting Stevie’s face to this books main character as she sounds exactly like her and has a similar personality! I really enjoyed this book.
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- Marina Alencar Sousa
- 03-17-21
BEAUTIFUL!!!
Amazingly written and narrated! Such a joy, don’t miss it!!!!!!!!!
That’s it! I’ve said it all
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