Preview
  • Once upon a Time, Bitches

  • Design Your Fairytale Life, Control Your Destiny, and Become the Hero in Your Story
  • By: Branden LaNette
  • Narrated by: Branden LaNette
  • Length: 2 hrs and 16 mins
  • 4.7 out of 5 stars (27 ratings)

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Once upon a Time, Bitches

By: Branden LaNette
Narrated by: Branden LaNette
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Publisher's summary

Hi, I’m Branden. That is me on the cover. Yes, I have a boy’s name, a mom bod, and the tattoos are not photoshopped.

Once upon a time, I realized we all have a story, we all have a struggle, and happiness is relative. I am not cynical or hardened, I am just stating the facts.

Here’s the deal:

  • Prince Charming doesn’t exist.
  • Fairy godmother is drunk.
  • Glass slippers don't come with two-day Prime shipping from Amazon.

There is no magic fairy tale, but if you work at it enough, you can come pretty close to creating your version with a happy ending. The best part is, in life, you can continue to make edits until that shit reads exactly how you want it to.

You may not agree with everything I say in this book, but the most important takeaway is that you have to be your own f--king hero. No more damsel locked in a tower, bullshit. That ends now.

Join me as I take you through my seven magical maxims for creating a fairy tale life. I know what you are thinking: Branden, no one gets a fairy tale life. Can you stop being so damn cynical for two seconds and just go with this?

Is it possible to design a fairy tale life? Control your destiny? Be the hero in your story? I believe you can, and that’s why, I wrote this book. I am going to make you a little uncomfortable. Back out now, if you aren't ready.

Shit is about to get real bitches...

Now, scroll up, hit the "buy now" button, pour a glass of wine, and start listening!

©2019 Branden LaNette (P)2019 Branden LaNette
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What listeners say about Once upon a Time, Bitches

Average customer ratings
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Incredible everytime I read it!

This is a powerful book that I share with everyone joining my team! The book itself is incredible but to listening to Branden read the book really makes the book come alive.

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    5 out of 5 stars
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You have the power!

Perfect read for a delayed flight. Happiness & joy - you have to make a choice.

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Highly Recommend!

Ready for some real talk? Ready to get off your ass and DO SOMETHING WITH YOUR LIFE? Then this book is for you!

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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Sit Down and Listen, WITH YOUR HEART

I couldn't put this audible down. I thought this would be my morning book for at least a week, but Branden's words were too good to put on pause. She has a compassion in her writing that I've never experienced. I could tell that every word, every inflection was intentional. She has a heart of gold and it shows in this book. Thank you Branden for sharing your story and inspiring me. The universe doesn't do things to us, it does things for us!

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1 person found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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a friend telling you what you need to hear

I've read the book but it's different to hear someone read it. it's like a good friend telling you what you need.

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    5 out of 5 stars
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What an Incredible and Powerful Woman!

I am blown away by the life experience, level of love, and openness of this author. What a real and very refreshing breathing breath of fresh air. This book gives me hope that there are beautiful and courageous women out there who aren’t fake and truly have a heart of GOLD. I’m actually in awe of how you could have gone through all of this and still have such an incredible attitude and seek to give more to humanity.

Thank you, Branden!
You are a RocKStar!
Leo

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great book

this is one of the most honest books I have listened to.
Love it from beginning to the end.

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  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Too many F words

The book warned about strong language, so I knew about it. But oh boy there were just too many swearing to give this book 5 stars. A great story and loved it otherwise. Still the language was just too much, when almost every sentence has an F word in it.

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